The Queen's Code By Alison Armstrong Bookclub

@almond eyes For dating purposes, I'd suggest that you listen to her Audiobook/Workshop: In Sync With the Opposite Sex. It contains somewhat painfully honest live input from both men and women. Though I have not directly mentioned this workshop here it has also helped me TREMENDOUSLY in preparing to resume dating and also understand how men think.

I can't really answer your question directly, but in her workshop she talks about the "sorting process" and how women are constantly trying to connect; but men do this connecting thing differently.
IMHO
  1. If the guy you're talking to [trying to establish a connection with] is easily distracted by the next-lady-that-walks-by, then he just sorted himself out of the pool.
  2. She talks about how we should set our interactions up so that we are the one being REACTED TO, and stop strategizing and contorting ourselves into what WE THINK THEY WANT
  3. Remember YOU are THE PRIZE, carry yourself this way, and react this way
  4. She alleges that we are more attractive when we are OUR AUTHENTIC SELVES. This also aids in the sorting process.
Again the Audiobook WORKSHOP is called: IN SYNC WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX. I was listening to it again this morning whilst running my errands.

Quick fix: Men like to be listened to; keep him talking about himself (but only if you're really interested in him)



almond eyes said:
Hey Ladies, I travelled so now I am trying to get over my jet lag.

I have a question. I am going to a few social events this season.

Many women will be at these functions dressing also sexy and very long weaves everyone here looks the same. So, how do I stand out and 'lure' in the men. What if at functions the lights are dim? If I guy that I like comes and talks to me do I gently lean in and hug him as a greeting and how do I keep him captivated when other women may try to jump in and interrupt?

What are the best colors and outfits (dresses, skirts)?

Best,
Almond Eyes
Click to expand...
 
Last edited:
almond eyes said:
Hey Ladies, I travelled so now I am trying to get over my jet lag.

I have a question. I am going to a few social events this season.

Many women will be at these functions dressing also sexy and very long weaves everyone here looks the same. So, how do I stand out and 'lure' in the men. What if at functions the lights are dim? If I guy that I like comes and talks to me do I gently lean in and hug him as a greeting and how do I keep him captivated when other women may try to jump in and interrupt?

What are the best colors and outfits (dresses, skirts)?

Best,
Almond Eyes
Click to expand...
First off, don't try to compete with them or outdo them. I never feel good about myself when I go in with that mindset. So what should you do? Be happy!!! You'll be amazed at how many men are drawn to you just because you have a genuine smile on your face and have a happy demeanor in general. Smile at everyone. Go in there with the intent to make friends with men AND women. Don't fight for attention. You'll naturally get it if you walk in there looking hot (more on that later), walk in like you own the place and smile. Confidence is key.

As for your look: Have your hair done. Longer is better but not mandatory. Wear a dress in a bright color that flatters you and shows off your curves. Make sure you wear heels and smell extra good. Have your nails and makeup on point and you're good to go!

I'm thinking something along those lines... 1227266_190074a_lulu.jpg
 
@almond eyes i recommend her quick and cheap book understanding men. Please get it out of your head that long straight hair and hi glam matters to men. It just catches their eye- maybe. Not guarantee on that. You want to be charming and enchanting and look your best YOUR BEST. Be authentic and confident in your appearance. For all we know with a high glam look you might actually feel uncomfortable.

But read through it gives some good tips and then if any encounters turn into dates I highly recommend the course that @Ivonnovi recommends above.
 
I think you meant to @almond eyes.

Ivonnovi said:
@hopeful For dating purposes, I'd suggest that you listen to her Audiobook/Workshop: In Sync With the Opposite Sex. It contains somewhat painfully honest live input from both men and women. Though I have not directly mentioned this workshop here it has also helped me TREMENDOUSLY in preparing to resume dating and also understand how men think.

I can't really answer your question directly, but in her workshop she talks about the "sorting process" and how women are constantly trying to connect; but men do this connecting thing differently.
IMHO
  1. If the guy you're talking to [trying to establish a connection with] is easily distracted by the next-lady-that-walks-by, then he just sorted himself out of the pool.
  2. She talks about how we should set our interactions up so that we are the one being REACTED TO, and stop strategizing and contorting ourselves into what WE THINK THEY WANT
  3. Remember YOU are THE PRIZE, carry yourself this way, and react this way
  4. She alleges that we are more attractive when we are OUR AUTHENTIC SELVES. This also aids in the sorting process.
Again the Audiobook WORKSHOP is called: IN SYNC WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX. I was listening to it again this morning whilst running my errands.

Quick fix: Men like to be listened to; keep him talking about himself (but only if you're really interested in him)
Click to expand...
 
Kimbosheart said:
@almond eyes i recommend her quick and cheap book understanding men. Please get it out of your head that long straight hair and hi glam matters to men. It just catches their eye- maybe. Not guarantee on that. You want to be charming and enchanting and look your best YOUR BEST. Be authentic and confident in your appearance. For all we know with a high glam look you might actually feel uncomfortable.

But read through it gives some good tips and then if any encounters turn into dates I highly recommend the course that @Ivonnovi recommends above.
Click to expand...
That's true. You've gotta do what's comfortable for you. :yep:
 
Thanks to all the ladies who responded. Thanks Ivonnovi, Kimbosheart, and Caribeandiva.

I will give you input on the holidays and my interactions with the men. But I know I must pull them in by my own sense of worth and not try to do anything to manipulate the situation. And just listen.

I will definitely look my best but not over do the glam as everyone does that drag glam here and I stand out in my own way without looking too high maintenance. I remember when I shaved my hair last year and I walked into a party and all the men stared and many came up to flirt with me, all of the women had long long weaves. And I am not knocking that but my hair being super short and displaying great skin and a nice shape and great make up pulled my look together well.

My hair is not quite shoulder length so I will do some roller sets to keep my hair healthy for the holiday season. Though I may do a straightened messy bun for a bigger event coming up.

Best,
Almond Eyes
 
Kimbosheart said:
@almond eyes i recommend her quick and cheap book understanding men. Please get it out of your head that long straight hair and hi glam matters to men. It just catches their eye- maybe. Not guarantee on that. You want to be charming and enchanting and look your best YOUR BEST. Be authentic and confident in your appearance. For all we know with a high glam look you might actually feel uncomfortable.
Click to expand...

ITA with this. Be the "glam" version of yourself, e.g., if you regularly wear dresses, wear a fancier dress. If you wear mostly jeans/t-shirts, wear nicer jeans with a pretty blouse and some heels (only if you're comfortable walking in heels; I feel sad when I see a woman stumbling around like a newborn calf in 4" heels). But don't go from jeans to a bodycon dress just because that's what everyone else is wearing. Do you have anything in your closet that makes you feel unstoppable? Wear that.

I emphasize dressing comfortably because it affects how you carry yourself and how people react to you. You can't have fun if you spend all night pulling down your dress. Or you're too scared to walk to the bathroom b/c your heels are so high you're not sure you can make it. And no one is going to want to talk to you if you're scowling because your Spanx are cutting off the circulation to your legs.

Confidence, a smile, eye contact, lightness and curiosity about other people is magnetic to men and women.
 
Ivonnovi said:
@almond eyes For dating purposes, I'd suggest that you listen to her Audiobook/Workshop: In Sync With the Opposite Sex. It contains somewhat painfully honest live input from both men and women. Though I have not directly mentioned this workshop here it has also helped me TREMENDOUSLY in preparing to resume dating and also understand how men think.

I can't really answer your question directly, but in her workshop she talks about the "sorting process" and how women are constantly trying to connect; but men do this connecting thing differently.
IMHO
  1. If the guy you're talking to [trying to establish a connection with] is easily distracted by the next-lady-that-walks-by, then he just sorted himself out of the pool.
  2. She talks about how we should set our interactions up so that we are the one being REACTED TO, and stop strategizing and contorting ourselves into what WE THINK THEY WANT
  3. Remember YOU are THE PRIZE, carry yourself this way, and react this way
  4. She alleges that we are more attractive when we are OUR AUTHENTIC SELVES. This also aids in the sorting process.
Again the Audiobook WORKSHOP is called: IN SYNC WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX. I was listening to it again this morning whilst running my errands.

Quick fix: Men like to be listened to; keep him talking about himself (but only if you're really interested in him)
Click to expand...
Those are EXCELLENT points! :yep: I need to listen to this audio too since I'm in the dating scene. I just know it's gonna be good.
 
I should've known Lulus. I spend too much money there.

Quick tips for interacting: lol so far this red lipstick I've been wearing everyday has men coming up to me to talk. But next I've noticed that
1. listening the way Allison teaches works great
2. Being completely comfortable in my skin and in the moment
3. Being confident and honest
 
Kimbosheart said:
I should've known Lulus. I spend too much money there.

Quick tips for interacting: lol so far this red lipstick I've been wearing everyday has men coming up to me to talk. But next I've noticed that
1. listening the way Allison teaches works great
2. Being completely comfortable in my skin and in the moment
3. Being confident and honest
Click to expand...


Red lipstick always gets them!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best,
Almond Eyes
 
Last edited:
almond eyes said:
Hey Ladies, I travelled so now I am trying to get over my jet lag.

I have a question. I am going to a few social events this season.

Many women will be at these functions dressing also sexy and very long weaves everyone here looks the same. So, how do I stand out and 'lure' in the men. What if at functions the lights are dim? If I guy that I like comes and talks to me do I gently lean in and hug him as a greeting and how do I keep him captivated when other women may try to jump in and interrupt?

What are the best colors and outfits (dresses, skirts)?

Best,
Almond Eyes
Click to expand...

Hey lady, I have short hair and have worn my hair short for years. Don't worry about anyone else, the weaves or the extraness. Go with your personal style, do your makeup, smile, wear dresses and cute heels and you're good to go. Along with Lulus.com, check out boohoo.com for cute dresses!
 
Ivonnovi said:
@almond eyes For dating purposes, I'd suggest that you listen to her Audiobook/Workshop: In Sync With the Opposite Sex. It contains somewhat painfully honest live input from both men and women. Though I have not directly mentioned this workshop here it has also helped me TREMENDOUSLY in preparing to resume dating and also understand how men think.

I can't really answer your question directly, but in her workshop she talks about the "sorting process" and how women are constantly trying to connect; but men do this connecting thing differently.
IMHO
  1. If the guy you're talking to [trying to establish a connection with] is easily distracted by the next-lady-that-walks-by, then he just sorted himself out of the pool.
  2. She talks about how we should set our interactions up so that we are the one being REACTED TO, and stop strategizing and contorting ourselves into what WE THINK THEY WANT
  3. Remember YOU are THE PRIZE, carry yourself this way, and react this way
  4. She alleges that we are more attractive when we are OUR AUTHENTIC SELVES. This also aids in the sorting process.
Again the Audiobook WORKSHOP is called: IN SYNC WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX. I was listening to it again this morning whilst running my errands.


Quick fix: Men like to be listened to; keep him talking about himself (but only if you're really interested in him)
Click to expand...


Thanks!!!!!!!!!I just downloaded the book, I had a credit left on my audible account. I will let you know.

Best,
Almond Eyes
 
Ivonnovi said:
Again the Audiobook WORKSHOP is called: IN SYNC WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX. I was listening to it again this morning whilst running my errands.

Quick fix: Men like to be listened to; keep him talking about himself (but only if you're really interested in him)
Click to expand...

Is the workshop really worth $125? :look:
I have no problem spending money on self-improvement. I just wanted to ask if it was really worth that much. :yep:
 
I purchased KTTK. I'm not sure if I'll get as much out of it as TQC since I'm not in a relationship at the moment but I'm all for understanding men better so I'm looking forward to hearing about the stages of development. :yep:
 
Belle Du Jour said:
I purchased KTTK. I'm not sure if I'll get as much out of it as TQC since I'm not in a relationship at the moment but I'm all for understanding men better so I'm looking forward to hearing about the stages of development. :yep:
Click to expand...

I think that KTTK will be helpful. Honestly nothing is as enlightening at TQC, but KTTK will save you a lot of frustration and heartache. I sure wish I had this information years ago.
 
Belle Du Jour said:
Is the workshop really worth $125? :look:
I have no problem spending money on self-improvement. I just wanted to ask if it was really worth that much. :yep:
Click to expand...
I was able to download the audiobook for free via Amazon/Kindle. This was a free. I do not know if the $125 you quoted offers any bells and whistles; so that part is up to you.
 
Just a random thought. I've gone through most of Alison's material. I honestly can't think of anything out there that I haven't listened to or don't have access to and I'd say on a scale of 1-10 all of her stuff averages at about 8 in terms of helpful, relevant information. And that doesn't even mean I agree with all that she's saying.

If you only read TQC and excuse the parts where Burt rubs Claudias feet and we get an overly long explanation of a carved table ... You will be so far ahead of the game in a life filled with having to interact with the masculine and feminine.

TQC is one of the rare books that gives you information that changes the way you think about something. Especially if you open your mind and accept the original premise. But you must accept it-- truly accept it and vow to put down that sword because it can never serve you not even when you feel that you might need it to preempt a stranger. Accepting that premise changes your thoughts, which changes your words and changes your actions. And keep in mind you're also accepting the premise as you apply it to you. All this to say that ALL of your interactions with ALL men can and will change. Also your dealing with women.

You will think of the men you already know differently and that will result in a different than your usual outcome.

You will think of new men differently and you will think of your responsibility in your interactions with new men differently and you will get a different than your usual outcome.

And you will simply have too high a regard for yourself to put yourself in the path of a bad/dangerous man and therefore that will change as well. For instance, I am much more adept at telling my perfect person to shut up when she makes me feel that for any reason I need to interact with someone who I don't feel safe with. I can just remove myself without having to pick up the sword to emasculate that man.

Most of us talk about how we had to let the lessons of TQC sit for awhile to absorb them and really sink them in. And we re-read the book. We've discussed just that book, chapter by chapter in the good reads group.

So I while I encourage anyone to read as much Alison as possible and I can surely recommend some of her materials that might help a particular situation. If you focus on TQC you'll be fine in almost 99% of situations without needing to read anything else. But I really encourage any of the newbies to this thread to start here at TQC, read it, absorb it and give it a chance 100% the way she writes it. The rest of her stuff doesn't really work without a women who isn't willing to honestly take the vow.
 
Kimbosheart said:
Just a random thought. I've gone through most of Alison's material. I honestly can't think of anything out there that I haven't listened to or don't have access to and I'd say on a scale of 1-10 all of her stuff averages at about 8 in terms of helpful, relevant information. And that doesn't even mean I agree with all that she's saying.

If you only read TQC and excuse the parts where Burt rubs Claudias feet and we get an overly long explanation of a carved table ... You will be so far ahead of the game in a life filled with having to interact with the masculine and feminine.

TQC is one of the rare books that gives you information that changes the way you think about something. Especially if you open your mind and accept the original premise. But you must accept it-- truly accept it and vow to put down that sword because it can never serve you not even when you feel that you might need it to preempt a stranger. Accepting that premise changes your thoughts, which changes your words and changes your actions. And keep in mind you're also accepting the premise as you apply it to you. All this to say that ALL of your interactions with ALL men can and will change. Also your dealing with women.

You will think of the men you already know differently and that will result in a different than your usual outcome.

You will think of new men differently and you will think of your responsibility in your interactions with new men differently and you will get a different than your usual outcome.

And you will simply have too high a regard for yourself to put yourself in the path of a bad/dangerous man and therefore that will change as well. For instance, I am much more adept at telling my perfect person to shut up when she makes me feel that for any reason I need to interact with someone who I don't feel safe with. I can just remove myself without having to pick up the sword to emasculate that man.

Most of us talk about how we had to let the lessons of TQC sit for awhile to absorb them and really sink them in. And we re-read the book. We've discussed just that book, chapter by chapter in the good reads group.

So I while I encourage anyone to read as much Alison as possible and I can surely recommend some of her materials that might help a particular situation. If you focus on TQC you'll be fine in almost 99% of situations without needing to read anything else. But I really encourage any of the newbies to this thread to start here at TQC, read it, absorb it and give it a chance 100% the way she writes it. The rest of her stuff doesn't really work without a women who isn't willing to honestly take the vow.
Click to expand...

1905c1290569414900508712ecad9113-micdrop06.gif
 
So far, the workshop is mind blowing to say the least. The idea that a man being single-focused and needing to concentrate on one thing at a time makes so much sense! She also mentioned that a guy is focused on the date or outing being a success and is only concerned if the woman has a good time.

I mentioned a situation in the feminine belle thread that puzzled me but I think it might now make sense: Feminine Belles - Info/discussion/support Thread

Initially I was shocked that he would suggest that she leave since it was night and would be leaving alone. But even though it wasn't a one on one date, if in his mind, he thought she wasn't having a good time, maybe he felt responsible and was trying to give her an out. I don't know the nature of their relationship though...Initially I was like not cool! From a guy's perspective, maybe he was just trying to be polite? It's not totally making sense, but there probably was a reason for asking her that...

Anyway, I would like to get other people's thoughts. I notice that now I'm a very keen observer of behavior between men and women. I was going to just write him off as rude but I think I was wrong. . .
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

C
Going Natural Does Not Mean Going Broke!
Replies
6
Views
2K
lolascurls
lolascurls
kayte
CF Woman of the Month for February..The Bride..Shulamite Womn..
Replies
4
Views
2K
kayte
kayte
CaraWalker
The Difference Between Soulmates And Life Partners
Replies
22
Views
1K
tallnomad
T
loolalooh
How to Hear the Voice of God
Replies
14
Views
3K
Laela
Laela
kanozas
The Right Philosophical Way To Argue A Case For Pro-life
Replies
1
Views
2K
kanozas
kanozas
Back
Top