I went to school with this guy, xx years ago.
We were both very innocent and sheltered and when we met, I thought that was my huzzband!
An external tragic event put time and distance (real and emotional) between us. He finally married someone else in '93, and when I found out, I married someone the following year.
He has been trying to speak to me for the last 5 years, but I tend to get crazy mad and emotional, yelling at him. He tends to keep his distance when I blow up and say really crazy awful things to him. But he always checks back in with me for the holidays.
I have been still angry that he married someone else. "I don't get involved with married men. I don't even want to talk to you. I don't want to get emotionally tied to someone unavailable. There is no purpose. We cannot be friends. Don't call me!" We have seen each other over the years, for lunch, but never talked about what mattered. I was just maintaining my anger, arguing with him, he gives up and takes me yelling, we eat and leave.
I was speaking from statistical information, not speaking from my experience with him. He really is a good man. Maybe I should have known he was not lying about his marital status just to get some play.
Turns out, he was separated 5 years ago and divorced 2 years ago. I'm still glad I gave him his space. And a marriage of 15 years (with kids) needs some getting over - a lot, actually.
In the midst of my tantrums, I didn't hear him. (mind you, this is not my normal behavior. current friends are surprised that I act this way. I never lose control of my emotions)
Last night, I finally just sat down with him, listened and talked and we had 5 good hours of open conversation that I never felt confident enough for when I was a college freshman. (I never would have talked like this to a married man, either) This has been some 20 years.
Has anyone ever recycled really old draws? (j/k - we both met and parted as virgins.)
I need advice.
We were both very innocent and sheltered and when we met, I thought that was my huzzband!
An external tragic event put time and distance (real and emotional) between us. He finally married someone else in '93, and when I found out, I married someone the following year.
He has been trying to speak to me for the last 5 years, but I tend to get crazy mad and emotional, yelling at him. He tends to keep his distance when I blow up and say really crazy awful things to him. But he always checks back in with me for the holidays.
I have been still angry that he married someone else. "I don't get involved with married men. I don't even want to talk to you. I don't want to get emotionally tied to someone unavailable. There is no purpose. We cannot be friends. Don't call me!" We have seen each other over the years, for lunch, but never talked about what mattered. I was just maintaining my anger, arguing with him, he gives up and takes me yelling, we eat and leave.
I was speaking from statistical information, not speaking from my experience with him. He really is a good man. Maybe I should have known he was not lying about his marital status just to get some play.
Turns out, he was separated 5 years ago and divorced 2 years ago. I'm still glad I gave him his space. And a marriage of 15 years (with kids) needs some getting over - a lot, actually.
In the midst of my tantrums, I didn't hear him. (mind you, this is not my normal behavior. current friends are surprised that I act this way. I never lose control of my emotions)
Last night, I finally just sat down with him, listened and talked and we had 5 good hours of open conversation that I never felt confident enough for when I was a college freshman. (I never would have talked like this to a married man, either) This has been some 20 years.
Has anyone ever recycled really old draws? (j/k - we both met and parted as virgins.)
I need advice.
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Go for it Choppybob! 
Sounds like it was meant to be and you guys were given a second chance 
