kaynewme
New Member
That is true. It's just hard.
Single and almost 26
- Thread starter kaynewme
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That is true. It's just hard.
LifeafterLHCF
New Member
I say this with all the love in the world OP your a beauitful woman why bother with a peasant type of male see I didn't say man.You deserve better however you must search yourself to figure out why you feel you deserve such sub par treatment.Do you feel you lack in some area and therefore you feel you must give overly in order to compensate?
All the ladies even the more renegade ones have provided alot of sound advice.Let go,let live and free yourself from baggage.Your a yr older than I and even though I know Im in no position to date properly I can def tell you shouldn't settle.
All the ladies even the more renegade ones have provided alot of sound advice.Let go,let live and free yourself from baggage.Your a yr older than I and even though I know Im in no position to date properly I can def tell you shouldn't settle.
kaynewme
New Member
I didnt feel like I was settling at first. He was sweet and attentive, bought me things too. We spent all this time together. We would stay up watching anime and go visit museums together...and etc.He was an art history major and history is my favorite subject. His job was never an issue to me because he was talking about going back to school. He says he let his insecurities get to him...he went back to what was familiar. I wish I would have posted the v-day incident. Probably would have save myself some heartache. Maybe I wouldn't feel bad if I intiated everything. He had bigger plans for us than I did. He transferred to a store thats two minutes from my place...to be closer to me. In the end nothing worked out. No, I dont think I lack in any area. I'm pretty good woman. I gave him the ipod because he lost his and he loves music. I thought it was great gift. He claims to have lost the ipod. The other things were socks and shirts.
hopeful
Well-Known Member
If the bolded is true, then what is the problem? You only officially became a couple three months ago. One month later he had already cheated on you. (And told you he had cheated on his ex numerous times.). Three months after becoming official he won't even return your calls. But you want him back. If you don't think you lack in any area, then what is the problem? Are you that lonely? Are you that desperate? Are you that pessimistic about your options? You are madly in love with a man who cheats, is an underachiever, won't return your texts, have known less than six months, just because you "clicked" and had fun?
~~HoneyComb~~
Well-Known Member
The OP sounds like a lot of women who tries to "save a man" and hope that the love they show will cause him to change.
He talks about his "insecurities" because he knows you'll feel sorry for him and put up with any garabage he dishes out---he has been able to figure this much out about you.
It really didn't take him long to reel you in
He talks about his "insecurities" because he knows you'll feel sorry for him and put up with any garabage he dishes out---he has been able to figure this much out about you.
It really didn't take him long to reel you in
kaynewme
New Member
You're as blunt as my mom and bff. LOL. I dont know whats wrong with me. Is it the love or the loneliness? You are absolutely right. Plenty people have told me what a good catch I am and should want the same in a partner. I know he wont change.
kaynewme
New Member
The OP sounds like a lot of women who tries to "save a man" and hope that the love they show will cause him to change.
He talks about his "insecurities" because he knows you'll feel sorry for him and put up with any garabage he dishes out---he has been able to figure this much out about you.
It really didn't take him long to reel you in
I never thought about it like that. You are right. He was always talking about his past issues and family problems....such a sucker. I always thought he should get counseling with regards with his mom's death and his relationship with his dad.
~~HoneyComb~~
Well-Known Member
He knows you have a good heart, and like a lot of trifling men, he's using you because of it. Don't let this man treat you like a doormat and cause you to have insecurities. This man is selfish and only cares about himself.
loolalooh
Well-Known Member
PM me if you want to vent some more. You remind me of myself years ago. I understand how hard it can be.
The ladies have shared some useful words of wisdom. You have a huge heart and guys like this can either take advantage of it and/or simply not know how to hold it.
You deserve WAY better, and trust, 26 is not old at all. (I'm 29.) I've met women who just met there fiance at age 34 and even 41 and were happy to have waited that long.
The ladies have shared some useful words of wisdom. You have a huge heart and guys like this can either take advantage of it and/or simply not know how to hold it.
You deserve WAY better, and trust, 26 is not old at all. (I'm 29.) I've met women who just met there fiance at age 34 and even 41 and were happy to have waited that long.
metro_qt
Well-Known Member
I have to say, really good and relevant post.
OP, please know you're better than him, at this point in your life.
he has things to work out.
Water always flows to it's own level... He wants her 'she's at his level'... if you're on a higher level, find yourself a better man.
They're out there!
Arcadian
New Member
First OP. Imma give you a hug, because you need it.
Love is strange. it dosen't take a long time for some, it can take forever for others. Its different with each person you interact with.
Second. please don't start a thread 1-2 months down the line saying y'all got back together. You have a lot to offer to someone and you are much better than to just take any ol body.
He told you the truth, he's not good enough for you.
26 is still young with a whole life ahead of you. You're not old. Hell I'm not old and I'm 40!
-A
Love is strange. it dosen't take a long time for some, it can take forever for others. Its different with each person you interact with.
Second. please don't start a thread 1-2 months down the line saying y'all got back together. You have a lot to offer to someone and you are much better than to just take any ol body.
He told you the truth, he's not good enough for you.
26 is still young with a whole life ahead of you. You're not old. Hell I'm not old and I'm 40!
-A
kaynewme
New Member
First OP. Imma give you a hug, because you need it.
Love is strange. it dosen't take a long time for some, it can take forever for others. Its different with each person you interact with.
Second. please don't start a thread 1-2 months down the line saying y'all got back together. You have a lot to offer to someone and you are much better than to just take any ol body.
He told you the truth, he's not good enough for you.
26 is still young with a whole life ahead of you. You're not old. Hell I'm not old and I'm 40!
-A[/QUOT
Love is strange. Thanks for the hug. Me n him will never be again. Hopefully two months down line I will post I went on a date or something
Poohbear
Fearfully Wonderfully Made
No.
You are NOT strange!!! HE IS! Just because you didn't click with this guy does not mean you will not be able to click with other guys. Plus, I wouldn't want to click with this guy anyway.And please stop texting him. PLEASE! Do not feel sorry for him. Do not give him anything else. And who cares about what he says about still being single and all this other bullsh!t. The bottom line is he's basically still hooked on his ex-girlfriend. He used you as his rebound chick. But be glad that this did not last any longer than it did.
TinyBlu
Well-Known Member
He's waddling, has feathers, and is screaming AFLAC!!! He's a duck sweetheart! He's shown you who he really is.... believe him!!
You are ONLY 25 years old. Do you know how much time you have left to be concerned with a relationship? You have a great career and could do much better than some fast food manager...
I say focus on YOU. Find a hobby to occupy your time. Change up your routine. Try something new.
I know what it's like to be a little... different, but trust as you get older you will learn how to embrace it. You deserve more and you know it.
Oh yeah... SLOW down. Make a guy put in some work. Don't give so much up front. If anything, he should be catering to you because you are a prize to be won.
If you get the time, try to find a book called "Why Men Love B^&%$ES" I read it at about your age and it changed my perspective a lot.
Love yourself first and don't take any crap!!!
You are ONLY 25 years old. Do you know how much time you have left to be concerned with a relationship? You have a great career and could do much better than some fast food manager...
I say focus on YOU. Find a hobby to occupy your time. Change up your routine. Try something new.
I know what it's like to be a little... different, but trust as you get older you will learn how to embrace it. You deserve more and you know it.
Oh yeah... SLOW down. Make a guy put in some work. Don't give so much up front. If anything, he should be catering to you because you are a prize to be won.
If you get the time, try to find a book called "Why Men Love B^&%$ES" I read it at about your age and it changed my perspective a lot.
Love yourself first and don't take any crap!!!
TinyBlu
Well-Known Member
Obviously, you haven't wrapped your head around that fact. True queens will only accept kings...
This brother sounds like a court jester to me. We are only treated how we allow ourselves to be treated.
Truly explore why you feel the need to "save" this grown A-- man. Why do you feel you deserve "fixer uppers"
I used to be you and suffered WAY too much heartache as a result. It's not worth it precious one. Separate yourself from this man TOTALLY!!! No texts, calls, etc. If your living situation has you in the same place, tell him to move in with his ashy ex girlfriend. Love yourself....
kaynewme
New Member
I
You are right. I bought the book on my kindle. I will read when I go get my pedi today. I don't know why I felt the need to try to help him so much. I'm rather impatient usually and I don't like men that don't have plans and goals. I thought I could teach him and motivate him. I should have ran when he said it was his life goal to be the manager. I was into deep. Thanks
You are right. I bought the book on my kindle. I will read when I go get my pedi today. I don't know why I felt the need to try to help him so much. I'm rather impatient usually and I don't like men that don't have plans and goals. I thought I could teach him and motivate him. I should have ran when he said it was his life goal to be the manager. I was into deep. Thanks
