The "I'm Going to Get Married Thread"

[Lovelylife]

Things are looking up social wise. One of the girls from an organization that I just joined is also working at the temporary job that I just got. lol

 

[LovinLocks]

I've never heard of lotsofevents.com, d.

I heard their commercial, visited online, left msg. per their instruction; never heard back.

Hopefully LOE will work for you.

 

[tallnomad]

I heard their commercial, visited online, left msg. per their instruction; never heard back.

Hopefully LOE will work for you.

well, they don't have events based in LA right now.

 

[BLESSED1]

Aaaawwww I am in Philly, and these guys are a trip and a half! Where do you get out, have fun and meet people?

that's the thing i dont go out. i did online dating for the last 5yrs but I permanently quit about 2 months ago. The guys i met/dated online were mostly in NJ & delaware.

but since quitting online dating i try to head out to the suburbs to like a mall or bookstore, dress nice & be approachable. Havent met a guy that way yet but I've only done it a couple of times, but I bet i'll meet at least one decent guy that way

 

[lolascurls]

I'm claiming along with you ladies, next year I will be married to a man after God;s heart. Who is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh (perfectly suited to me)
Who I will be pleased to see every morning and every night.
Who will stand in the gap with me in prayer through this harsh life.
I name it and I claim it!

 

[LovinLocks]

I'm claiming along with you ladies, next year I will be married to a man after God;s heart. Who is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh (perfectly suited to me)
Who I will be pleased to see every morning and every night.
Who will stand in the gap with me in prayer through this harsh life.
I name it and I claim it!

Amen, girl. This was so on point this morning.

Yesterday Mister Mister mentioned "the" ring again. "MMmmm mmmmmm", she replied.

 

[LovinLocks]

that's the thing i dont go out. i did online dating for the last 5yrs but I permanently quit about 2 months ago. The guys i met/dated online were mostly in NJ & delaware.

but since quitting online dating i try to head out to the suburbs to like a mall or bookstore, dress nice & be approachable. Havent met a guy that way yet but I've only done it a couple of times, but I bet i'll meet at least one decent guy that way

Okaay, Blessed1, sounds like a plan to me. Work it, woman.

 

[phynestone]

I actually created a vision board in my journal a few months ago. I usually write down my goals in my journal as well, but I keep a copy EVERYWHERE - bathroom, wallet and in my room.

My vision board contains things about my goals, marriage and what I want in my FH, finances, hobbies and everything else I've ever wanted. Nine times out of ten, when I write down my goals, I usually achieve them.

No more doing things so that I don't appear a certain way to folks who don't even matter. They won't be the ones dealing with my husband day-in and day-out, dealing with the baggage, etc. I realize I don't have to live for anyone but God. Yeah, I've been told that I could miss out on some great guys who come with baggage, but if it isn't what I WANT, then I DON'T have to deal with it. There's nothing wrong with wanting a person that has the same things as you or even better.

I'm sorry, but I'm just tired of being told that I have to settle for a man that's had several divorces, children, no money, not attractive (in the physical sense) to me, not educated (that's important TO ME), just so that others won't feel threatened. You want that, fine. I refuse to settle in any part of my life from now on, and that includes relationships.

 

[foxee]

I actually created a vision board in my journal a few months ago. I usually write down my goals in my journal as well, but I keep a copy EVERYWHERE - bathroom, wallet and in my room.

My vision board contains things about my goals, marriage and what I want in my FH, finances, hobbies and everything else I've ever wanted. Nine times out of ten, when I write down my goals, I usually achieve them.

No more doing things so that I don't appear a certain way to folks who don't even matter. They won't be the ones dealing with my husband day-in and day-out, dealing with the baggage, etc. I realize I don't have to live for anyone but God. Yeah, I've been told that I could miss out on some great guys who come with baggage, but if it isn't what I WANT, then I DON'T have to deal with it. There's nothing wrong with wanting a person that has the same things as you or even better.

I'm sorry, but I'm just tired of being told that I have to settle for a man that's had several divorces, children, no money, not attractive (in the physical sense) to me, not educated (that's important TO ME), just so that others won't feel threatened. You want that, fine. I refuse to settle in any part of my life from now on, and that includes relationships.[/QUOTE]

 

[tallnomad]

So I went to my first meetup group last night. In my above post, I had mentioned I would be going to my first one on Sunday, but that one was canceled. Anyways, I went to this meetup group last night called: Tired of the Meet Market Meetup Group. Last night the group went to a yoga class. It was SO fun. I met some great people and wasn't so "in my head" and socially awkward as I can feel at times. Maybe it was the yoga which helped to calm me.

I was the only Black person. There were 2 Asian women and the yoga teacher was white. All white men and one Asian. We just all hit it off. I had 2 men really honing in on me and we had fun, easy conversations. One of the men I was digging, he accidentally showed up for yoga class and wasn't even a part of the meetup group, but he was strikingly handsome, sort of like Richard Gere. No numbers were exchanged, but very good vibes. We all plan on getting together consistently and working towards developing "organic" friendships.

It just felt really good to be in the presence of high-quality people who are open and friendly and in the same boat as me--single and optimistically looking.

I'm excited about more meetup groups and am so glad that I stepped out of my comfort zone.

 

[phynestone]

^^^I've enjoyed every meetup group activity I've participated in, especially if it involved some type of activity. Glad you had fun.

 

[rahlee22]

Count me in! I'm claiming marriage - Ideally a 2012 wedding. I LOVE the idea of getting married during the "doomsday" year. ..And at my wedding, I'll have the waist length hair, and an evening wedding. Part of what I love about it is first believing it's possible! I've never had hair this long (APL) and didn't even think it was possible until I found it here. I've recently watched my sister get married, and one of my best friends get married. I remember watching my friend for years watch wedding shows, and basically "try" to get pregnant...and now she has her baby and her husband! My sister was also dating some loser prior to getting married to her now husband, and I'm sure she didn't see that coming.

So watching them makes me KNOW that it is possible for me, and that it IS happening. I have yet to NOT get anything I've ever wanted, or not accomplish any goal I have for myself.

So my goal is just to be MORE me! And to not be too lazy to be that version of me. What that means is that I know I'm fabulous, so behaving anything less than is unacceptable. My goal this year is to be more of the person God has made me to be, and to remind myself that the God I believe in loves me and wants me to have my dreams come true, and to live fabulously and to live joyfully - the way he created me!

I KNOW my dream man exists, because I'm living proof that people like me exist. If I exist (and I'd date me lol) then I'm sure there is a man somewhere, like me, that is datable, attractive, etc. and wants to be married.

 

[LovinLocks]

rahlee, I needed this today. Thank you. ;-)

 

[LovinLocks]

Still gathering pics for my vision board. Trying to not go out and "buy" magazines. Actually, I've been copying my own pics and printing them out at Wal-mart and that. Much of my board looks like it'll be real photographs at this point. I'm still working it and thinking about it in my head while gathering.

 

[BLESSED1]

I heard their commercial, visited online, left msg. per their instruction; never heard back.

Hopefully LOE will work for you.

ok i had to log back in here to tell yall this but be careful of LOE

i finally called to get more info, got the typical pushy sales person

i know ppl gotta make a sale, but I got a minor red flag when she asked how old i was & had i ever been married & when i answered she said "okaayyy" like that

got an even bigger red flag when i asked for an estimate of the signup fee & she said that they're not allowed to say anything about that over the phone

now i used to be a trainer at crooked Bally's gym, i know what that means when you don't give a price up front

so after that i said "you know what I'll think about it and call back" Logged on to better business bureau and saw the multiple scam complaints and bad grade

try stuff out for yourself but i'm just saying, it didn't look like it would be worth the $1000-$2000 fee

i just joined some groups at Meetup tho, looks promising *crosses fingers*

 

[LovinLocks]

Honey, you ain't got to say another word. Now, I'm off (for free) to go to the skating rink. LOL

 

[HoneyA]

Update: I met a guy with about 15 things on the list so far, just the physical and professional qualities, age, and of course him being single, available and marriage minded. And yes I listed him as tall and very handsome with gorgeous light brown eyes. I spoke to him for about two hours so far and he introduced me to the people closest to him so I was able to confirm the things. As we get to know each other, we'll see if he has the other qualities on the list The rest of the qualities can only be seen in the course of getting to know the person. If he doesn't have them, doesn't matter. There are more where he came from. The point is that there are guys out there that match what you are looking for and eventually those guys will show up in your experience. What do they say? Build it (the list) and they (he) will come. Have fun ladies!

 

[LovinLocks]

Build it (the list) and they (he) will come. Have fun ladies!

WOW! I'm speechless after reading this, HA! WOW. I am so happy for you . . . inspired . . .

 

[HoneyA]

WOW! I'm speechless after reading this, HA! WOW. I am so happy for you . . . inspired . . .

Thank you. He's the second guy I've met in the last two weeks that fit my description but with the first there was no mention of Dubai (I just threw that in to test LOA).

 

[LovinLocks]

no mention of Dubai (I just threw that in to test LOA).

:crystalba

 

[VelvetRain]

I admire you ladies drive and initiation. I hope what each of you desire comes to fruition. As for me I just want to work on being a better person in 2011 and hopefully that will align with a suitable partner in the future.

 

[tallnomad]

My friend and I talk a lot about the law of attraction. Well, she just pointed me to a post written from a Black woman who was overweight, in her 30s and felt that she would never get married. She wrote her goals for a man, had her mom pray with her about it, and God delivered.

Here is her testimony:

I first have to say that it is such an honor for me to be included in the conversation here, with all the amazing women leading Black women’s empowerment movement! Khadija, your blog is a huge inspiration for me. Thank-you for your leadership and guidance.

Honestly ladies, taking personal responsibility for attaining your wildest dreams is an initial shock to the system that is both shocking and at times painful. Sometimes I feel unsure and unbalanced, like I’m tittering on a high wire without a net over uncharted territory. No one in my families memory dared to spit in the face of those telling us where our “place” in this world was. No one in my families memory dared to separate from the rat pack (mentally); even though many shifted from states in the South to North and back again, working in farms and factories hoping for the “good luck” of bare survival. But you know what, just like Khadija wrote, “the various types of chains we wear are mostly mental.” And to me, if I become aware of a chain around my neck I am (obligated) by the universe to not just remove it, but smash it it bits for its insolence! So though a wave of fear (false evidence appearing real) may come over me, I’ve already smashed a few mirrors in the fun-house. I already know “the jokes on me!” if I let it be!

The false evidence told me that “I’m fat. My genes give me the predisposition to be fat. Black girls look good fat right, why fight it? But my dreams/imagination told me that I could look more than good, I could be stunning. I could be the one to shut the room down! LOL! So I smashed the chain. It hurt like hell! I got up at 4am to hit the gym. I skipped anything that tasted good, (sugar, fat and carbs). I got a Pilate’s dvd. The teacher was skinny, tyrannical and mean; and I clung to her everyday like a best friend. I worked all day and even though I was dog tired evenings, I ended every day with a thirty minute walk on the tread mil or if the weather was nice, out in the fresh air. I smashed it. The weight though stubborn began to bow to my will. I woke up one morning floating over the scale at 118!

The false evidence told me that I didn’t have a degree. I don’t come around the “right” circles to meet any man worth my while. I’m already thirty-three and I don’t even get dates, much less a decent boyfriend, and much much less a husband. Maybe it’s ok to be alone. Maybe I wasn’t meant to have kids. But my dream/imagination told me that I could have a prince that even a “hot white chick” couldn’t pull! So I smashed the chain. It felt silly, who da heck did I think I was anyways?! I wrote out a dream husband manifesto. I wanted someone international and financially secure. I wanted a man who was tall blonde and masculine. I wanted a man who’s family was as kind and open as he should be. I wanted a man who dreamed of a family and cherished the idea of supporting a wife and kids at home. I wanted a man who was quirky and could match my scene of humor. I wanted to have a man who had a legacy. All this I wrote out and even showed to my mother who joined faith with me to pray over it while I went into action. I smashed that chain too! After finding the right dating site on-line for me I was contacted by my future husband. Done with all the same old tall leggy blondes (smh!?) He said he wanted someone deeper, someone serious. I won’t go into all the details, but this is the honest truth. I answered his request in October of 2006, Met him physically in November, and was married, living in Finland by March 2007!! This man has a huge legacy from his Grandfather a contractor/builder business tycoon who built anything over two stories in my city! He was everything on that piece of crumpled paper now living in my mom’s family bible! All mental chains can kiss my brown butt from now on!!!

So yes, I tell you make your world as you see fit!! Make your wildest, biggest dreams the forefront of your focus! I see this BWE movement for fellow black women and girls as just a small crack in the dam of the river empowerment! Those breaking free may be just a trickle right now, but oh, the momentum is millions of gallons of raw power behind us…The flood of empowerment’s freedom can be our reality. We just have to work.

Source:

“Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!” — The Sojourner's Passport

 

[tallnomad]

I'm in the process of making a vision board. I'm trying not to buy magazines, and so I manifested another option. lol. Some of the ladies in Off Topic are using Oprah's online Dream Board that can be printed out too.

Have you gone to Oprah's website? She has a vision board program. In the program I uploaded pictures I liked from the Internet and placed them on the board. When I was done I went to the UPS store and printed it in color. I love it. I hung one on my fridge! This way you do not have to buy any magazines and you can use the Internet to provide pictures. Let me show you mine. BRB

O Dream Board: Envision Your Best Life™ - Oprah.com

 

[Much2much41]

I'm wondering if Bunny ever came back and posted any pics? I think she got married last month

 

[MissYocairis]

I KNOW my dream man exists, because I'm living proof that people like me exist. If I exist (and I'd date me lol) then I'm sure there is a man somewhere, like me, that is datable, attractive, etc. and wants to be married.

Do you have any idea how BRILLIANT that is?

 

[BLESSED1]

saw on Wendy Williams show this morning a woman who got married for the first time at age 53!

Wendy said To all the girls that want to get married, never give up hope cuz its never too late, look at this lady

never thought i'd find confirmation of receiving my wish for a loving, successful marriage on the wendy show lol

 

[Lovelylife]

Count me in! I'm claiming marriage - Ideally a 2012 wedding. I LOVE the idea of getting married during the "doomsday" year. ..And at my wedding, I'll have the waist length hair, and an evening wedding. Part of what I love about it is first believing it's possible! I've never had hair this long (APL) and didn't even think it was possible until I found it here. I've recently watched my sister get married, and one of my best friends get married. I remember watching my friend for years watch wedding shows, and basically "try" to get pregnant...and now she has her baby and her husband! My sister was also dating some loser prior to getting married to her now husband, and I'm sure she didn't see that coming.

So watching them makes me KNOW that it is possible for me, and that it IS happening. I have yet to NOT get anything I've ever wanted, or not accomplish any goal I have for myself.

So my goal is just to be MORE me! And to not be too lazy to be that version of me. What that means is that I know I'm fabulous, so behaving anything less than is unacceptable. My goal this year is to be more of the person God has made me to be, and to remind myself that the God I believe in loves me and wants me to have my dreams come true, and to live fabulously and to live joyfully - the way he created me!

I KNOW my dream man exists, because I'm living proof that people like me exist. If I exist (and I'd date me lol) then I'm sure there is a man somewhere, like me, that is datable, attractive, etc. and wants to be married.

That's a good concept. I'm keeping this in mind.
Update: I didn't really have a feasible goal in mind but I've decided to continue exposing myself to people & places and go to on atleast 10 dates. Hopefully this will give me some focus.

 

[HoneyA]

I'm wondering if Bunny ever came back and posted any pics? I think she got married last month

I don't think she has as yet. Hopefully she will. She was the one who inspired me to get clear about what I wanted. In one of her posts, she said that she had written down the month and year she wanted to get married by on a piece of paper. She did that in 2008. So said, so done. Yup definitely an inspiration!

 

[LovinLocks]

The word "awesome" has been overused lately as far as I am concerned; however, THIS testimony clearly fits that description and is worth it's weight in gold (and yaw'll know the price of gold is up now). tnm, girl, sister, THANK YOU for sharing this with us. This needs to be a LOA sticky or something. I am floored, I am joyful, I am encouraged by this. Thank you, dear sister.

My friend and I talk a lot about the law of attraction. Well, she just pointed me to a post written from a Black woman who was overweight, in her 30s and felt that she would never get married. She wrote her goals for a man, had her mom pray with her about it, and God delivered.

Here is her testimony:

Source:

“Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!” — The Sojourner's Passport

 

[tallnomad]

Ladies, I'm getting married very soon, and so are you. So in order to prepare, I need to SEE some images to keep me focused.

I need to see some action-type photos and since proposing is an action, these photos are giving me inspiration.

Don't mean to hijack and sorry for the separate posts with pics, just wanted to provide us with some visuals to get into the feeling of what we are creating and will ultimately manifest!!!