The "I'm Going to Get Married Thread"

[BullGirl2010]

Thank you! It's really an emotional experience for me to share this story because I know how hard it is to wait and wait and keep waiting. It took a long time for me and it was a struggle at times (on and off).

But when I read this thread I was so inspired and encouraged because this is the kind of thread that keeps you positive !!

FH told me he prayed for me and boy did I ever pray for him too!!! So when I read this thread I just got sooo encouraged for all of the ladies who are praying because that FH probably has already said a prayer -or will soon say a prayer to find YOU TOO!!!

Ah, Blizzard. You just made my day. :blowkiss:

I am so very happy and excited for you and your FH. Marriage truly is a wonderful, wonderful thing. Your FH knew the moment he met you that YOU were the one and nothing and no one was going to stop the two of you from creating a fantastic life together. Finding the right person can be long and arduous but...in the end...it is so, so worth it. Your king finally found his queen. You will make a beautiful life together.

This is definitely a wonderfully positive thread and one I'm so thankful was started. We can and will continue to encourage each other. I very much look forward to hearing about your planning progress.

 

[SuchMagnificent]

Im in...I definitely need this thread..It sucks feeling like you are all alone in the search..I hope that we can all support and encourage each other in our journey

 

[LovinLocks]

Lovinglocks, Oh you are such an inspiration. I love, love, love this thread.

Count me in on that invite list. I grew up in Florida and always love a great excuse to go home. What's better than a beautiful wedding?????...and yours sounds just dreamy. I'll be holding you to your notary duties when God truly sends Mr. Right my way.

I am so there, BullGirl!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[LovinLocks]

Im in...I definitely need this thread..It sucks feeling like you are all alone in the search..I hope that we can all support and encourage each other in our journey

Yes, SM, and thank YOU for joining us in intention. Thank you so very much.

 

[LovinLocks]

Hey guys! Good for yall! I'm a little confused though. I see that people are posting they'll be married by next year/other time frames....are you guys engaged or something? Is this thread for people who are engaged to be married? I mean, this thread isn't for single (meaning not dating someone) people, right? Or is it? And if it is...how does that work??

But if it is I wanna join too! I'm single; I wanna get married some day! I'm certain I'll be married by this time in 2022! Woo that's a long time! But by the time I'm 32, I know I'll be married! Woot!

You know what qchelle . . . this thread for anybody that is willing to exude positivity in their situation (wherever they may be standing at the time). I am not engaged and humph most days I don't even feel like I'm the "or something" that you wrote. But, I AM willing to stand on intention, to allow Holy Spirit to move in my life and see where it goes from there. I've studied enough scripture to know God's children will have what they need as long as they "seek first the kingdom". I also know that which I seek is Godly so there is no reason for me not to have it when his time is right. Meanwhile I am preparing ME to be the best wife, lover, partner that I can be.

 

[LovinLocks]

That day he made a declaration. It's funny because from that day he behaved as if we were already married. (soon after) He added me on as a domestic partner at his job so that I could begin taking free classes under his benefits! He started announcing to his co-workers, friends and any random person who would listen that he was going to marry me. But, he didn't officially propose. And while I was happy. I did notice that fact.

He finally formally propose to me quietly at home last month w/out a ring . But, we are shopping for one.

BLIZ, girl, I SO love this. You are truly blessed. Be well my sister, be well and HAPPY!

 

[LovinLocks]

And dreams do come true. Maintain your highest standards and let "the statistics" be somebody else's statistics.

YESSSSSSSSS, that's what I NEED to read. Thank you, thank you, thank you ALL.

 

[Lovelylife]

Well day 1!
I just joined an organization around 3 weeks ago and we were in the car. A new guy got in the car. I was not interested in him or anything but I was trying to force myself to introduce myself to him. I need to learn how to be friendly and open up. Yet I made too many excuses, it's not the right time, the music is too loud, I don't want to seem weird, someone is already talking, I can't interrupt them. All this just to get myself to do a positive introduction. I couldn't do it.
I have a long year ahead of me!lol. smh.
edit: The other meeting is next Wednesday.

 

[zora]

Well day 1!
I just joined an organization around 3 weeks ago and we were in the car. A new guy got in the car. I was not interested in him or anything but I was trying to force myself to introduce myself to him. I need to learn how to be friendly and open up. Yet I made too many excuses, it's not the right time, the music is too loud, I don't want to seem weird, someone is already talking, I can't interrupt them. All this just to get myself to do a positive introduction. I couldn't do it.
I have a long year ahead of me!lol. smh.
edit: The other meeting is next Wednesday.

This is a wonderful start! Next time, just plant a smile on your face. Baby steps. You'll get there.

 

[LovinLocks]

Well day 1 I have a long year ahead of me! lol. smh. edit: The other meeting is next Wednesday.

Yeah, and check it out, look at it like this, a year to get this thang down pat, woooooo whoooo. It's gon' be aiight. No doubt as you continue to take advantage of these meetings you will become ultra comfy with it all. Girl, I'm telling you . . . watch (yourself) as you chill and fall into the vibe. Watchout dere nah.

 

[tallnomad]

I'm in. I'm claiming a high-quality man who "gets" me. We belong to each other by divine right.

I'm excited by this thread and having you ladies as a support system through our intentions, words and deeds. I have faith in God and the positivity that we are expressing; God will deliver in time.

I intend on being the answer to the right man's prayers for a loving and high-quality wife. I will manifest this by daily affirmations written in my marriage journal, preparing myself physically, mentally and emotionally--becoming more of my ideal self and maturing and by putting myself in the presence of high-quality men.

I am a magnet for my divine, high-quality, loving, God-fearing, patient man. I pray this for me and for all of us. In Your name Lord I pray, Amen and Amen.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Count me in!!

This thread is so positive and inspirational for us women who actually WANT to be married, and are sick and tired of people trying to put the "doom" label on black women and how we're going to stay perpetually single for the rest of our lives. PUH-LEEEZE!! Negativity be gone!


OP, you seem to be in a good place right now. I think I'm finally at the point where you are in that I am leaving things in God's hands right now, but in the meantime I'm working on MYSELF. I'm working on cultivating more "wifely" qualities that a GOOD man would want in a wife. I've stopped wasting my time with "players", or guys I'm not that interested in. I have finally learned to RELAX , enjoy my life being single, and not worry about when I will have a boyfriend. I KNOW that one day marriage will happen for me. I feel so at peace now. I find that usually when you don't worry, that's when things start to happen for you anyway. Like Jesus said, who of us can add one cubit to our life when we worry??

So keep up the good work OP! I'm right there with you! I'm backing up any other fellow ladies on this board who have decided to persevere and not settle for crumbs, and who maintain the faith that they will have what they were waiting for in due time.

 

[LovinLocks]

Count me in!!

This thread is so positive and inspirational for us women who actually WANT to be married, and are sick and tired of people trying to put the "doom" label on black women . . . PUH-LEEEZE!! Negativity be gone!

Hiiya, CIQ: You've made my day with your affirmations (and tallnomad, the sister that posted above you). Just does a body good to read such things, ya know.

And shooot, TNM, speaking of chilling, it's Black Friday and I'm going up to Bath and Body Works to get me some refill Wallflowers. Heck, ole dude might walk into my apt. at any time. It's got to be smellin' good; AND, if he don't, HEY, I deserve to smell good things in my surroundings, why ya playin'!!!!!!!

 

[LovinLocks]

Er um, ladies, gather 'round, check this out . . .

The other day someone I met earlier this year (totally unavailable, btw) said to me, " . . . . I would have a ring in your face so fast . . . ". When he had the opportunity to divorce the wife due to infidelity he chose to forgive her (a good Christianly thing). I bring this up here to say, we never know who is watching!!! An available man is just as easily watching us and I have filed the dialogue in the drawer titled "encouragement". That day I found it a tad encouraging to know I was thought of in such a manner. I know how this individual loves his children (whom by the way I have a good relationship with, they are good children)., and loves God and his relationship with, so for him to state such, I don't take lightly (though constantly reminding myself to stay in the real).

Lord, let me continually pray that his wife gets it together and sees what a loving, FORgiving husband that she has, Lord. 'Cause if she don't I will step in if she messes up again and love the h e double hockey sticks outta him.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Re: Er um, ladies, gather 'round, check this out . . .

The other day someone I met earlier this year (totally unavailable, btw) said to me, " . . . . I would have a ring in your face so fast . . . ". When he had the opportunity to divorce the wife due to infidelity he chose to forgive her (a good Christianly thing). I bring this up here to say, we never know who is watching!!! An available man is just as easily watching us and I have filed the dialogue in the drawer titled "encouragement". That day I found it a tad encouraging to know I was thought of in such a manner. I know how this individual loves his children (whom by the way I have a good relationship with, they are good children)., and loves God and his relationship with, so for him to state such, I don't take lightly (though constantly reminding myself to stay in the real).

Lord, let me continually pray that his wife gets it together and sees what a loving, FORgiving husband that she has, Lord. 'Cause if she don't I will step in if she messes up again and love the h e double hockey sticks outta him.

Good point! You're right....we really don't know who's watching us. People are watching us alllll the time, and a GOOD Christian man definitely watches a woman from afar and observes her FIRST before even attempting to start anything serious with her. Those guys that just "holla" at sight seem to only be about one thing and one thing only...the physical OUTSIDE package. But a guy who's really worth his salt, and doesn't make choices based on impulse are the ones (if you notice) who tend to take things slower, maybe he starts off developing a friendship with you first, before trying to get in your panties, get in your house, etc so quickly.

Whenever a guy is too eager to claim that he likes me at first sight and I know he doesn't really know me from Adam, I take that as a sign that he's only concerned with the outside package. Sure, I know men are very visual, and I'm not knocking the fact that the physical is what they see first. It's when a man hasn't even taken the time to even talk to me or get to know me before he's coming on so strong that gives me a red flag. Just a thought...

 

[BLESSED1]

wow CIQ you just gave me a lot of good points to digest w/your last post. I'm someone that used to only deal with guys that are really into me w/out knowing me and sure enough they turned out to be "use her then lose her" dudes

 

[HoneyA]

Just making sure this thread stays near the top of the list. Have you ladies claimed all of what you want? I have all these things in picture form about my DH but I actually typed it all out. My list is about 50 items long but when I read it over I say to myself "yup, this is the one". The dating list I had for summer only had 10 items but I had fun! The catch is that he will find me and announce himself so now I can just sit back and relax. Everything in perfect timing. Just based on this thread, we'll have some weddings to plan soon!

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

(Okay...I'm all alone here at work today, so bear with me and my lengthy post because I'm bored here lol! )

wow CIQ you just gave me a lot of good points to digest w/your last post. I'm someone that used to only deal with guys that are really into me w/out knowing me and sure enough they turned out to be "use her then lose her" dudes

No problem!

It's just something I've personally noticed in my own life, and in the lives of some of my friends. When I look back in the past to the guys who were REALLY interested in ME as a person, it took him a LONG time to approach me. In fact, many times I didn't even realize he was even liking/observing me from afar until a little later on! (I'm talking about guys you see almost every week, or guy "friends"...not guys you may never see again...they may react sooner to get your number/start a relationship because there's the threat of possibly never being able to see you again)

Case in point, my sister is now married to one of her good guy friends. They were friends 3 years before they even started dating/liked each other "like that". I'm not saying this is always the case with everyone (they were young in their mid-early 20's at the time), but all I know is that the guys who met her and were quick to start a "relationship" with her ended up being the players. It was only her guy "friend", the one who stuck by her, helped her through those player relationships, saw her on her good days AND bad, got to know her GRADUALLY (he said he wasn't even interested in her like that at first) and enjoyed her company, etc that ended up being the man she married. Interesting isn't it?

See, sometimes we women want instant gratification NOW. Like for example, I want a man NOW! I want to get married like YESTERDAY! lol... I want to know whether he likes me as more than a friend NOW! We can turn ourselves into a pretzel trying to "figure a man out". But sometimes, it really is better to wait, OBSERVE a man (and his actions) yourself , and let things run its course instead of trying to jump in head long into a relationship if he's not moving things along. You just never know what man is watching you from afar and is waiting until things clear up in his own life, or waiting to see whether you have all the qualities he's looking for in a wife before he makes his "move". I've seen it happen MANY times before!

For example, I know this one woman in my congregation who was divorced for a while with 3 kids. A new man started attending, and she wasn't chasing after him or trying to get his attention. She was just being herself, enjoying her single life, and trying to improve her relationship with God. Meanwhile, the man was watching her. He was observing her. He had been through his fair share of "relationship issues" himself after seperating from his wife years ago. LIttle did this woman in the congregation know, that this man was just biding his time until his divorce papers were finalized before he made his move. As soon as his divorce became finalized, he made his move, and sure enough, they are happily married today. She told me that she didn't even know he had an interest in her at first! It's not like he would talk to her all the time. He would say hello sometimes, and engage her in conversation a few times, but usually he was very subtle with his interest in her. Had she been fretting and anxious trying to get his attention, wondering: "why isn't he making a move?? Why is he acting so "shy"?? etc" she may have come across as being somewhat desperate or unstable.

So ladies...continue to keep the faith that "the one" is out there! We don't have to be anxious over it at all.

 

[lushcoils]

Yes, getting approached by random strange men you know nothing about in the street or online is overrated. Love this thread! lol. About to go make my list and visualize my husband.

 

[HoneyA]

Yes, getting approached by random strange men you know nothing about in the street or online is overrated. Love this thread! lol. About to go make my list and visualize my husband.

Me too. I love it! I've been visualising this man for weeks to the point where I'm telling my mom she has to meet him. She was like "okaaaay, when do I meet him?" When he appears in the flesh mom . My mom:

 

[luckiestdestiny]

(Okay...I'm all alone here at work today, so bear with me and my lengthy post because I'm bored here lol! )



No problem!

It's just something I've personally noticed in my own life, and in the lives of some of my friends. When I look back in the past to the guys who were REALLY interested in ME as a person, it took him aLONGtime to approach me. In fact, many times I didn't even realize he was even liking/observing me from afar until a little later on! (I'm talking about guys you see almost every week, or guy "friends"...not guys you may never see again...they may react sooner to get your number/start a relationship because there's the threat of possibly never being able to see you again)

Case in point, my sister is now married to one of her good guy friends. They were friends 3 years before they even started dating/liked each other "like that". I'm not saying this is always the case with everyone (they were young in their mid-early 20's at the time), but all I know is that the guys who met her and were quick to start a "relationship" with her ended up being the players. It was only her guy "friend", the one who stuck by her, helped her through those player relationships, saw her on her good days AND bad, got to know her GRADUALLY (he said he wasn't even interested in her like that at first) and enjoyed her company, etc that ended up being the man she married. Interesting isn't it?
I'm engaged to my best friend. So I agree with this sentiment. I know he loves me inside and out. After radioactive iodine, I gained weight (have grave's disease) and had to get it off ...we met when I was in my "inbetween stage" and he said he liked me even then. He didn't approach right away, though as I was dating some one else. He was always respectful and didn't try to hit on me while I was with someone else. He's been around to see me date guys and also my previous boyfriend, and that's when he knew he had to step in (after my previous boyfriend and I broke up) because he wanted to make sure that I didn't get away (and he knew he wanted to marry me by then. He waited a little overyear to ask (after we stated dating) as he says didn't want to scare me off by coming on so strong (and at a year he ordered the ring but it was custom made so it took several months)but he says he knew from the beginning that he was going to ask me and hoped I'd be receptive). He's seen me when I'm at my best, and worst (and also sick as I also have Grave's Disease and fibromyalgia. So he's seen me when I'm feeling really bad) and he's still by my side. I know I have a prize. He says that he prayed for someone exactly like me (he wanted someone who saw the world differently than him and was an artist, and loving with kids, plus spiritual and believed in God) which I think is sweet. Now after we started dating it took a little over a year to propose (but we were friends for a few years before that). I will say once we started dating there were never any mixed signals. He makes sure that I feel loved each and every day and I try to do the same.

I mentioned this because you mentioned that a good man can develop from friendship and I think that's true.

I am happy it happened this way because we both know each other inside and out.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

By the way I think this is an excellent thread to get in the same "mindset" of knowing you deserve and expect a wonderful guy to come into your lives (for marriage purposes).

 

[lushcoils]

Just looked over the list I made for what I want in a man when was 19. I'm 22 now, and woah, I have to change somethings. lol.

 

[Lovelylife]

I'm finally purchasing fashionable items. Hopefully it'll help me in the looks department.

 

[Renewed1]

I'm on board with this!!!

Last month God told me to say this specific 31-day prayer for my husband (I found it on here somewhere). Earlier this month, the desire to get married HIT ME OUT OF NO WHERE!! I knew I wanted to get married, etc. But I felt it in my heart, it was a strong feeling I couldn't get rid of, right then and there ask God to continue to shape and mold me into the woman and wife HE wanted me to be.

I can't explain it, but my body is shaping up, my dress is changing, my manner of speaking, my conduct, etc etc. The only thing I "felt" is that whomever my hubby is we are going to connect and get engaged quickly.

 

[SuchMagnificent]

Yes..now that I have started working again, I have made a couple of more fashion purchases, focusing more on slightly sexier/trendier eye catching clothes and working on my makeup skills. The hardest thing for me to do is to change my manner of speaking/conduct..Outside of work , Im ghetto by default...Not like Bonquisha Renee ghetto but Tiffany with book/street smarts...Ive been around the block a couple of times, seen alot in the hood and it has definitely affected my personality, I curse, I like rap, i like to dance in the club..etc..Its gonna be a challenge for me to be more demure and only smile and slightly laugh now in public..My personality has always been like this but I guess I have to be loud at home from now on..lol
Happy hour has always bored me..lol..I hate just sitting..I like to be active..I used to belong in a hiphop dance group yrs back so dancing is my passion..Anytime I hear music, Im dancing..so now I guess I have to bounce in my seat..I know that this is the right thing to do...changing my habits..I hope it pays off.

 

[foxee]

Love this thread! Subscribing.

This past week I have been looking at my left hand quite a bit, visualizing my engagement ring. So I decided it was time to get a visual aid. Yesterday I purchased what I'm calling a "placeholder ring." It's basically an inexpensive piece of costume jewelry that resembles an engagement ring. It's keeping my finger warm until I receive an engagement ring from the man of my dreams. Of course I'll wear it on my right hand when I go outdoors, but so far it's really helping me stay positive!

 

[Menina Preta]

Love this thread! Subscribing.

This past week I have been looking at my left hand quite a bit, visualizing my engagement ring. So I decided it was time to get a visual aid. Yesterday I purchased what I'm calling a "placeholder ring." It's basically an inexpensive piece of costume jewelry that resembles an engagement ring. It's keeping my finger warm until I receive an engagement ring from the man of my dreams. Of course I'll wear it on my right hand when I go outdoors, but so far it's really helping me stay positive!

Maybe I'm overly superstitious, but I was always told to never wear any rings on your left ring finger b/c it's bad luck and will keep you from marrying. FWIW.

 

[foxee]

Maybe I'm overly superstitious, but I was always told to never wear any rings on your left ring finger b/c it's bad luck and will keep you from marrying. FWIW.

Ha! I may have heard that too down somewhere down the line. Good thing I don't believe in luck!

 

[LovinLocks]

Proud of you for following your mind/heart, Foxee, AND sharing it with us. Took guts, IMHO. Trust, that wearing ring = no marriage . . . NOT. I'm living proof of that. Besides yaw'll know what Stevie Wonder sang, "If you believe in things that you don't understand . . . superstition ain't the waaaaayy .. . heeeeyyyyy"!