The Enjoying Our Hair Thread

[Napp]

I just wanted to post my bun after 1 week. My hair is still shiny and smooth after sticking to my routine.(NO FLASH!!!) Not a drop of frizz in sight except for my lil beedy bee lol. I wish i could do something a little fancier with the ends but I'm not trying to mess up a good thing I have going. Even the area above my ears are still flat which is a problem area of mine because I usually wear glasses.




I need to amend my product junkie ways and just stick to what works. Lets see if sticking to this regimen will help me get past this dreaded APL hump that I've been stuck at for like a year now.

ETA: I am looking forward to wash day to see if I can recreate these results.

 

[Mapleoats]

@Napp those waves, and that shine!!! I love your hair!

 

[Chicoro]

I just wanted to post my bun after 1 week. My hair is still shiny and smooth after sticking to my routine.(NO FLASH!!!) Not a drop of frizz in sight except for my lil beedy bee lol. I wish i could do something a little fancier with the ends but I'm not trying to mess up a good thing I have going. Even the area above my ears are still flat which is a problem area of mine because I usually wear glasses.

View attachment 492453


I need to amend my product junkie ways and just stick to what works. Lets see if sticking to this regimen will help me get past this dreaded APL hump that I've been stuck at for like a year now.

ETA: I am looking forward to wash day to see if I can recreate these results.

Not a single strand out of place. I believe that is because you have no hair breakage. How do you get the nape of your hair to lay down like that? Is it a combination of hair products and how you tie your scarf? Do you have a photo of how you put on/wear your scarf, please? I have never been able to lay or keep my nape neat like yours in the photo. How do you do such hair magic?

 

[Napp]

Not a single strand out of place. I believe that is because you have no hair breakage. How do you get the nape of your hair to lay down like that? Is it a combination of hair products and how you tie your scarf? Do you have a photo of how you put on/wear your scarf, please? I have never been able to lay or keep my nape neat like yours in the photo. How do you do such hair magic?

Thank you!

I do have some breakage in the very front but I think that was from some things I was doing to make my hair flat (raking my hair with a fine toothed comb every day!) I stopped doing that along with adding a protein infused leave in to strengthen the outer layer of my hair on a daily basis. I do reset my hair on a everyday but i no longer include hair tools for the process, except for the very edges. (I still do my baby hairs lol) The rest of the hair is growing fine and chugging along though which is good.

My nightly routine:
Spray with liquid leave in to soften up the hair
Apply gel 1 for smoothness
Apply Gel 2 for hold
Moisturize ends
Smooth back into bun
Do edges
Put on Durag


As for the flatness, I think its the way I tie my durag when setting my hair every night. When tying my Durag, I make sure the flaps are flat which helps in getting a sleek look. I also make sure I tie it over my hair line and ears to make sure the back gets smoothed. I then put an elastic over the bun to make sure everything lays flat around the bun. Doing it like this gives me a sleek bun every set.

It took me a while to get the front just right because I would tie it too high(edges fly out) or too low (line on forehead) but I figured out my sweet spot. Also I do not tie it too tight but tight enough that it doesn't slide off while sleeping. Now I've come to the point where I just add a little "moisturizing" shine spray to prevent flakes in the morning and go. I don't even have to lay my edges in the morning because everything is set.(time saver) I love the BUN!

I also will say that I really like these camo print Durags I bought off amazon the most. They have a good thickness, smoothness(but not too smooth) and flap width that makes tying it easy and it stays on. Plus they come in girly colors. I reach for these the most and I have a big Durag collection.

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

@Napp I love that you put a hair tie on top of the durag. I've never seen that before.

 

[Chicoro]

Thank you!

I do have some breakage in the very front but I think that was from some things I was doing to make my hair flat (raking my hair with a fine toothed comb every day!) I stopped doing that along with adding a protein infused leave in to strengthen the outer layer of my hair on a daily basis. I do reset my hair on a everyday but i no longer include hair tools for the process, except for the very edges. (I still do my baby hairs lol) The rest of the hair is growing fine and chugging along though which is good.

My nightly routine:
Spray with liquid leave in to soften up the hair
Apply gel 1 for smoothness
Apply Gel 2 for hold
Moisturize ends
Smooth back into bun
Do edges
Put on Durag


As for the flatness, I think its the way I tie my durag when setting my hair every night. When tying my Durag, I make sure the flaps are flat which helps in getting a sleek look. I also make sure I tie it over my hair line and ears to make sure the back gets smoothed. I then put an elastic over the bun to make sure everything lays flat around the bun. Doing it like this gives me a sleek bun every set.

It took me a while to get the front just right because I would tie it too high(edges fly out) or too low (line on forehead) but I figured out my sweet spot. Also I do not tie it too tight but tight enough that it doesn't slide off while sleeping. Now I've come to the point where I just add a little "moisturizing" shine spray to prevent flakes in the morning and go. I don't even have to lay my edges in the morning because everything is set.(time saver) I love the BUN!

I also will say that I really like these camo print Durags I bought off amazon the most. They have a good thickness, smoothness(but not too smooth) and flap width that makes tying it easy and it stays on. Plus they come in girly colors. I reach for these the most and I have a big Durag collection.

View attachment 492489

Wow! Wow! Thank you so much! There are lots of gems for me in my post. I love the idea of the elastic on the bun. That is so clever!!! I’m going to study your process. You are so right to eliminate styling tools like combs and brushes when the bun is set, I JUST came to that conclusion this weekend. Lots to savor and take in from this post! Like I said, you do hair magic, more specifically, you do hair bun magic!

Thank you again for taking the time to write out the detail and explain your process and for providing a picture, too!!!

 

[snoop]

I took last night, today, and I'll talk part of tomorrow to enjoy my hair. I usually get to enjoy it when I take my twists or braids out. It's not nearly enough time. I don't want to enjoy it too much right now, because it's cold out and I need to start getting serious about my hair and ends, again.

 

[Lylddlebit]

I took last night, today, and I'll talk part of tomorrow to enjoy my hair. I usually get to enjoy it when I take my twists or braids out. It's not nearly enough time. I don't want to enjoy it too much right now, because it's cold out and I need to start getting serious about my hair and ends, again.

View attachment 493639

It is so soft and beautiful. I agree with you. For most people, the summer is when they want to do low heat or protective styles because of heat, humidity, reversion, and hair's ability to make you hotter, but the time I get the urge to put my hair up and away during the winter. Especially during February, because it is cold and I don't like it snagging on coats. Anyhoo, you have plenty of time to enjoy it more once it warms up and it sure looks great in the moment of enjoying it.

 

[Lylddlebit]

I went natural in 2004. Feels like yesterday but thinking about makes me feel joyful about enjoying my hair this year. At the time I only knew one girl who had natural hair and her mom was a beautician so her hair always looked good. She and her mom were two important parts of my decision to go natural since she and I were very good friends during high school. At the time I wore braids all the time and it didn't make sense to get a perm for 5-7 days before getting my hair rebraided. They explained to me that I could just press my hair between braids or wear it in a natural style since I wore braids regularly. That isn't the only reason I went natural, but there was a long list of examples I had that proved I never actually chose relaxed hair as my style of choice. I got a perm when adults and older relatives who did my hair felt it made my hair easier to comb. When my mom allowed me to do my hair fully, I never got another relaxer. From the time I was a kid, I always preferred to get my regular hair combed, braided, or pressed. By 2004 I had more natural hair than relaxed hair and got my permed ends cut off. I have pretty much had natural hair for all of my adulthood and thoroughly enjoyed the journey!

 

[Chicoro]

Simple pleasures for me...I wet my edges and put on a little Scurl and gel before I put on my scarf for bed. In the morning, my hair is laid and silky and needs very little manipulation to get ready for work. Breakage has decreased for two reasons. The scarf reduces the friction of my hair against the bed sheets. Secondly, breakage is reduced because I only need to use my hands to smooth it and perhaps a toothbrush to lay the edges. No heavy, hair- breaking brushing is employed until wash day. I hope my hair continues to be forgiving because it took me so long to realize and identify shampoo was eating away and mangling my hair ends. I pretty much completely re-started my hair journey again in January 2023. It's been pleasant, satisfying and a relief to see that perhaps I have pinpointed and eliminated hair practices that were stunting my length gains. I have not felt comfortable to wet my hair since the last week in November due to a deep, wet cough. Finally, I feel healed enough to safely wet my hair. I am so looking forward to enjoying and doing my hair this weekend.

 

[Lylddlebit]

Simple pleasures for me...I wet my edges and put on a little Scurl and gel before I put on my scarf for bed. In the morning, my hair is laid and silky and needs very little manipulation to get ready for work. Breakage has decreased for two reasons. The scarf reduces the friction of my hair against the bed sheets. Secondly, breakage is reduced because I only need to use my hands to smooth it and perhaps a toothbrush to lay the edges. No heavy, hair- breaking brushing is employed until wash day. I hope my hair continues to be forgiving because it took me so long to realize and identify shampoo was eating away and mangling my hair ends. I pretty much completely re-started my hair journey again in January 2023. It's been pleasant, satisfying and a relief to see that perhaps I have pinpointed and eliminated hair practices that were stunting my length gains. I have not felt comfortable to wet my hair since the last week in November due to a deep, wet cough. Finally, I feel healed enough to safely wet my hair. I am so looking forward to enjoying and doing my hair this weekend.

Simple pleasures add up to make enjoyment consistent and I am glad you point that out. When everyday small things are consistent it helps to identify falling in love with and enjoying your hair. Part of enjoying my hair is knowing that when I do it it will be "get up and go hair" for days/weeks to come. Practicality is such a big part of it. So I am glad you pointed that out.

• When you smooth your hair with your hands do you use anything else like cream or water or another styler? I know hand smoothing works and that method works for both low manipulation and keeping a style polished.
• Now that you are becoming a pro at the clay washes any particular clays you enjoy more than others?

Happy hair styling this weekend!

 

[Chicoro]

Simple pleasures add up to make enjoyment consistent and I am glad you point that out. When everyday small things are consistent it helps to identify falling in love with and enjoying your hair. Part of enjoying my hair is knowing that when I do it it will be "get up and go hair" fo days/weeks to come. Practically is such a big part of it. So I am glad you pointed that out.

• When you smooth your hair wiht your hands do you use anything else like cream or water or another styler? I know hand smoothing works and that method works for both low manipulation and keeping a style polished.
• Now that you are becoming a pro at the clay washes any particular clays you enjoy more than others?

Happy hair styling this weekend!

I wet my hairline with water and add a dollop of Scurl and tap gel over the Scurl, per usual. So, the only change is no styling tool, except my trusty dusty toothbrush.

My favorite clay is white koalin! It's cheap. It's soft. It gently cleanses. It rinses easily. And I can find it anywhere and everywhere in France!

 

[Chicoro]

So I did my hair today. I took my time. I had nowhere to go and nothing on the docket to impinge upon my time.

I used a shampoo because my hair needed to be deeply cleaned.

I also trimmed a tiny bit off the ends of my hair. Lastly, I did an Aphogee 2 Step Treatment.

The next eight (8) washes will be clay washes. I use shampoo right before I do an Aphogee 2 Step Treatment. I am trying to do an Aphogee 2 Step Treatment every eight (8) weeks.

On wash days when I don't use Aphogee 2 Step, I mix up my own ' Aphogee Green Tea Leave - In Protein' . I re-use their empty bottle and put in my own formula which is the same color and consistency as theirs! Mine seems to be working, too. But it has a little stink-stink from the protein I mix in it. I'm going to leave it funky, though. I am trying to keep things as simple as possible. I am tired of being the Set-Back Queen. May that reign be short-lived! Although I've been having set-backs for the last 12 years.

I was very, very happy with the way my hair turned out. I even took some pictures

I enjoyed doing my hair and thought that it looked really pretty.

 

[Lylddlebit]

So I did my hair today. I took my time. I had nowhere to go and nothing on the docket to impinge upon my time.

I used a shampoo because my hair needed to be deeply cleaned.

I also trimmed a tiny bit off the ends of my hair. Lastly, I did an Aphogee 2 Step Treatment.

The next eight (8) washes will be clay washes. I use shampoo right before I do an Aphogee 2 Step Treatment. I am trying to do an Aphogee 2 Step Treatment every eight (8) weeks.

On wash days when I don't use Aphogee 2 Step, I mix up my own ' Aphogee Green Tea Leave - In Protein' . I re-use their empty bottle and put in my own formula which is the same color and consistency as theirs! Mine seems to be working, too. But it has a little stink-stink from the protein I mix in it. I'm going to leave it funky, though. I am trying to keep things as simple as possible. I am tired of being the Set-Back Queen. May that reign be short-lived! Although I've been having set-backs for the last 12 years.

I was very, very happy with the way my hair turned out. I even took some pictures

I enjoyed doing my hair and thought that it looked really pretty.

Please post pictures!
....and LOL @ leave it funky.

 

[Chicoro]

Please post pictures!
....and LOL @ leave it funky.

The hair looked cute but the photos not so much.

 

[Lylddlebit]

Ah! It's like that sometimes.

The hair looked cute but the photos not so much.

 

[snoop]

I've had a few instances of walking around and feeling a tickle under my shirt at my neckline. I'm enjoying this new hair milestone.

 

[Lylddlebit]

Gone 'head and let it tickle! That is a great milestone. Nothing is crawling on ya, that's all your hair!
Is it in a ponytail and sweeping beneath the neckline or wearing it down?

 

[snoop]

Gone 'head and let it tickle! That is a great milestone. Nothing is crawling on ya, that's all your hair!
Is it in a ponytail and sweeping beneath the neckline or wearing it down?

Wearing my hair down. Now you have me contemplating whether or not I could eventually recreate this same feeling, with a ponytail.

 

[Mapleoats]

I enjoyed my hair last night at a concert. This is two week old hair that I have been wearing in chunky twists and pinned up in an updo. The night before the concert I remoisturized and retwisted my twists, and then took them down after I finished getting dressed. I liked it even better by the end of the night as it got some more volume but didn't frizz out.



This is a huge milestone for me. In the past I thought only my freshly washed and styled hair could look good. It created a lot of anxiety around styling my hair as I always had to plan my wash days around when I was planning to go out. Now I know this isn't true. I can truly simplify my regimen AND enjoy my hair at the same time.

 

[ckisland]

I decided to give my hair a break from heat last week and it was a disaster LOL!!! Didn't enjoy it at all. I will be whipping my blowdryer and flatiron back out for sure

 

[Lylddlebit]

I enjoyed my hair last night at a concert. This is two week old hair that I have been wearing in chunky twists and pinned up in an updo. The night before the concert I remoisturized and retwisted my twists, and then took them down after I finished getting dressed. I liked it even better by the end of the night as it got some more volume but didn't frizz out.

View attachment 494579View attachment 494577

This is a huge milestone for me. In the past I thought only my freshly washed and styled hair could look good. It created a lot of anxiety around styling my hair as I always had to plan my wash days around when I was planning to go out. Now I know this isn't true. I can truly simplify my regimen AND enjoy my hair at the same time.

Your hair is gorgeous and I am so happy about your milestone. There is so much ot enjoy with hair beyond the cute hairstyle itself. it is very enjoyable to have practical hair. It is very enjoyable to have hair that still looks nice when we "get up and go". It is also enjoyable when your hair transitions well from one style to another without having to start from scratch. Those are all great points and areas that help me enjoy mine too!

 

[Lylddlebit]

I decided to give my hair a break from heat last week and it was a disaster LOL!!! Didn't enjoy it at all. I will be whipping my blowdryer and flatiron back out for sure

Love your haircut! Will you be trying out the heat-styled pixie look or keeping it curly?

 

[ckisland]

Love your haircut! Will you be trying out the heat-styled pixie look or keeping it curly?

Thank you!!! I'm back where I belong and keeping it curly!

 

[Mapleoats]

Your hair is gorgeous and I am so happy about your milestone. There is so much ot enjoy with hair beyond the cute hairstyle itself. it is very enjoyable to have practical hair. It is very enjoyable to have hair that still looks nice when we "get up and go". It is also enjoyable when your hair transitions well from one style to another without having to start from scratch. Those are all great points and areas that help me enjoy mine too!

Thank you!!

 

[Chicoro]

I know it's just hair, but.... gosh!

I went to bed last night at 1:00 am.

I was DETERMINED to get my hair washed. I am on a weekly wash plan and something has come up EACH week. This was week number 4 without washing and I just could not and would not have a week 5. This in itself is not the odd thing.

Last night, I didn't panic or feel overwhelmed. I said vehemently, "I am taking care of me. I am going to keep my promises to me. I am doing this hair tonight and not letting another week pass without doing it."

I think I didn't get started until 10:30 or 11 pm. I fell into this Zen State.

I took my time with my hair. It were as if I had all the time in the world, or as if it were Friday early evening and I had the whole weekend ahead of me - which was NOT the case.

I changed my mind set and shifted into something that was akin to "the Flow" or a "Flow State" as it related to doing my hair. I even did my lactic acid peel for my melasma-stained skin BEFORE my hair and took my relaxing bath AFTER I did my hair. Order: Skin treatment, Washed and Conditioned Hair, Relaxing Bath.

I want some more of that, whatever that was last night!

I got up at 6 am this morning and I was not tired at all. I felt as if I had a full night's rest.

I am starting to think that part of the exhaustion for me when doing my hair late, arises from the inner conflict and worry and stress and panick I have drummed up within, which I create for and within my own self, ANTICIPATING I will be tired.

Guess what? If can create that exhausting energy-draining panic, I can also ELIMINATE that exhausting, energy-draining panic. More importantly, I can REPLACE that energy-draining panic with that lovely Zen-like State of Flow on command, for the rest of my life.

My hair moment and session last night epitomized what it means to me to enjoy our hair.

I feel like I have had a Spiritual Awakening in that I felt so glad, even though it was super late. I was relaxed and at peace, totally immersed and submereged in the lucidity of my blessing of having such an incredible experience.

My hair has been taking me places and affording me experiences that I never would have foreseen, since I 've been on my hair journey. I certainly didn't anticipate this or foresee this experience.

I'm still reeling in awe.

Thank you @Lylddlebit, for this thread . I don't think I would have made the connection or had this realization without this thread.

 

[Evolving78]

@Chicoro
I haven’t stayed up to do my hair in the last couple of years. I am thinking of getting it cut and getting it professionally straightened. I may do that next month. I may just invest in the dry bar flat iron with the teeth and straighten it myself.

 

[Chicoro]

@Chicoro
I haven’t stayed up to do my hair in the last couple of years. I am thinking of getting it cut and getting it professionally straightened. I may do that next month. I may just invest in the dry bar flat iron with the teeth and straighten it myself.

This little guy right here? Man, in the United States ya'll got it GOODT! Is this the product that you are referencing? I've never seen such a tool before.

 

[Lylddlebit]

I know it's just hair, but.... gosh!

I went to bed last night at 1:00 am.

I was DETERMINED to get my hair washed. I am on a weekly wash plan and something has come up EACH week. This was week number 4 without washing and I just could not and would not have a week 5. This in itself is not the odd thing.

Last night, I didn't panic or feel overwhelmed. I said vehemently, "I am taking care of me. I am going to keep my promises to me. I am doing this hair tonight and not letting another week pass without doing it."

I think I didn't get started until 10:30 or 11 pm. I fell into this Zen State.

I took my time with my hair. It were as if I had all the time in the world, or as if it were Friday early evening and I had the whole weekend ahead of me - which was NOT the case.

I changed my mind set and shifted into something that was akin to "the Flow" or a "Flow State" as it related to doing my hair. I even did my lactic acid peel for my melasma-stained skin BEFORE my hair and took my relaxing bath AFTER I did my hair. Order: Skin treatment, Washed and Conditioned Hair, Relaxing Bath.

I want some more of that, whatever that was last night!

I got up at 6 am this morning and I was not tired at all. I felt as if I had a full night's rest.

I am starting to think that part of the exhaustion for me when doing my hair late, arises from the inner conflict and worry and stress and panick I have drummed up within, which I create for and within my own self, ANTICIPATING I will be tired.

Guess what? If can create that exhausting energy-draining panic, I can also ELIMINATE that exhausting, energy-draining panic. More importantly, I can REPLACE that energy-draining panic with that lovely Zen-like State of Flow on command, for the rest of my life.

My hair moment and session last night epitomized what it means to me to enjoy our hair.

I feel like I have had a Spiritual Awakening in that I felt so glad, even though it was super late. I was relaxed and at peace, totally immersed and submereged in the lucidity of my blessing of having such an incredible experience.

My hair has been taking me places and affording me experiences that I never would have foreseen, since I 've been on my hair journey. I certainly didn't anticipate this or foresee this experience.

I'm still reeling in awe.

Thank you @Lylddlebit, for this thread . I don't think I would have made the connection or had this realization without this thread.

You have me feeling inspired @Chicoro! I needed this post! Last night I started washing my hair close to 10 PM and it was one of those times when I knew I needed to wash my hair. My hair was still soft and tangle-free but not holding onto moisture for days anymore it had exceeded 5 weeks since my last wash unintentionally as I focused on other priorities. The challenge was that I was tired before I started. I tried to force it by laying out my items and even recording footage of it, but as I began to wash day, it felt more like a task and distraction than an opportunity for true relaxation and restoration. I was trying to get it done quickly and force enjoyment...a combination that just wasn't catching for me. I am now convinced I needed to read your post first lol and recognize the opportunity better. I am claiming all the peace, enjoyment, and lucidity you experienced last night when I finish after work today! Last night I did get a nice cowash in but I tried to use The Doux's "One Love" as a cowash and deep conditioner(which it is marketed forrepoo, cowash and deep conditioner) and it wasn't quite as nourishing as I like for my deep conditioners. I ended up saturating my hair with leave-in putting on a shower cap and going to sleep. Right now my hair has leave- in conditioner all over it under a shower cap to try to give me that extra boost of moisture before styling it after work today(work from home). I am going to claim the enjoyment within the styling phase. No rushing, no treating it like a task. This evening I will start earlier and finish off right.

I know you have been dealing with chest colds and other things and I feel inspired by you to not just trudge through it like a task, but to allow the moment to be all the enjoyment it is made for. Thank you so much for your post! I needed it!

Thank you so much for sharing your experience! It was right on time. I am claiming some of what you've got for this evening's style session!

 

[Chicoro]

@Chicoro
I haven’t stayed up to do my hair in the last couple of years. I am thinking of getting it cut and getting it professionally straightened. I may do that next month. I may just invest in the dry bar flat iron with the teeth and straighten it myself.

I NEVER stay up to do my hair. I just put it back how it was and leave it nasty until the next weekend. This weekend was an anomaly.

Please let us know how your hair turns out, whether you get it done or do it yourself. I am sure you are going to look cute no matter which route you take!