Sweet Jesus! My hair....

[MissJ]

Instead of getting more hair when I found this board, I think I have lost a lot. These tips from the board have wreaked havoc on my locks!

1) no greasing the scalp
2) use S-Curl as a moisturizer
3) wear protective styles
4) I'm sure that there are more.

Nowadays I usually wear my hair in a bun, and it's all tangled and messed up when I take it down. It comes out a lot, too, probably from not greasing my scalp like I've been acustomed to for years. Maybe this board doesn't work for me.

This is me in February before taking advisement from the board:

Now, my hair is pretty messed up. I'm sure that I'll have to get a cut very soon.

 

[skegeesmb]

Where is your after picture? That would give us a good indication of your hair health. It's unfortunate that your hair isn't growing, but if your hair was growing so well, why did you even take advice from the board? I never did the activator thing for my hair. But for the protective styles, how is wearing your hair up making it fall out?

You need to give us a little more details about when your hair started acting up? When did you notice that activator wasn't working? When did you notice that greasing your scalp was a good idea after all? And why, if your hair is falling out, didn't you stop doing some of these things?

 

[CurlyCrly]

You don't have to use the tips from the board. Take what works for you and leave the rest. If it doesn't work for you, don't do it. There are a lot of good tips here and some are 'out there' as far as I'm concerned, but in the end we all have to take responsibility for our own hair, regardless of the advice we get on a hair forum or elsewhere.

 

[dontspeakdefeat]

I am shocked and confused!

Just because a product or idea is suggested does not mean that it will work for you. You have to do what is best for yourself and your hair. The suggestions here have not asked you to give up what you normally do. The posts are just here to offer opinions and recommendations. You have to use those at your own descretion. Please don't place the blame on the one's who post they are just here to help and suggest! I am sorry about you having to cut your hair. Good luck in the future!

 

[Tracy]

I understand your frustration MissJ - many of us go through a period where we try so many things and we see no progress or even some setbacks...but that shouldn't stop you.

I also wasn't clear if the pic was a before or after shot - but it looks great in that pic! And I can't imagine that simply not greasing, using S curl and things like that would have damaged it so much that it needs to be cut. I say identify the things that you think you strayed from that were causing your hair to thrive and simply....go back to them!

You can still take advice from the boards that you think will suit YOUR hair and leave the rest. And if you really think that nothing that's been suggested here has helped, then I would focus, again, on doing what DOES work for you and SHARING that with the board so that if there are people like you who experience the same things, they can learn from your methods and findings.

THAT, after all, is what the baord is about. People sharing what works for THEM. If you can't take anything, then give something - that's my motto.

Good Luck.

 

[jazzyfunknastee]

MissJ, no one here says you HAVE to do what everyone else does. Some people need to grease their scalp and some can't. We say time and time again "What works for one, doesn't work for all." There is no reason why you should blame the ladies on the board because what they used didn't work on your hair and in turn ruined it. It was a choice you made for you and nobody else did. Don't blame other people for what you did.

Sorry if I sound harsh but it's the truth. Maybe we should put a big disclaimer somewhere...

 

[Jade21]

Miss J,

I have to say that I am with the others. I am definitely confused and shocked. I say that because there are many of us here who do not follow every tip or "mainline" suggestion. We take suggestions, distill the information and make the final decision for ourselves. I thought that ws the purpose of the site generally: to give and share information, and to take responsibility for our own hair.

I wish you had posted an "after" picture, too.

How in the world is your hair getting tangled after you have placed it in a bun? I am assuming that it was tangle-free beforehand.

And, with the protective styles specifically, I know there was a thread running recently about someone asking whether they were mandatory. Plenty of people posted they never even used them or used them currently. Why? Just not amenable for THEIR hair.

~Jade~

 

[MissJ]

Well, I don't have an after picture. I've been using the protective styles for like a month, and I do just like a few of the ladies said. Wash, put in leave-in, let partially dry in ponytail, and then put up in a bun to leave moisturized. Well, everytime I do this my hair gets so wierd and dry and is already broken when I start to comb it. Gosh, I thought this worked that's why I used it. Maybe I should just wear my hair like I always did and not in protective styles. I reached bra strap length without that. Now, I'm gonna have to cut it. I thought that I would reach mid back like some of the other ladies by doing this.

I used the S-Curl a few times, and it did nothing for my hair, so I went back to the grease. For the past month, I haven't greased my scalp, and I've noticed that not only is my hair coming out, but it's coming out from the root because it has the little bulbs on the ends. Oh brother, I don't know what to do.

 

[MissJ]

I'm not blaming anyone, geez. I can't discuss my hair problems with my hair people? I think that's what a hair discussion board is for. Or do you want me to start talking about Michael Jackson again?

 

[MissJ]

I'm gonna take a picture of my hair now and then upload it later on this week.

 

[so1913]

All I have to say is....Whoa


I'll leave it at that

 

[cutebajangirl]

If the bulb is coming out that means you are shedding and to my knowledge there is no way that what you described ( unless you are making a supertight ponytail) can cause the hair to shed. there is a thread somewhere about the stages of hair growth/life etc. Perhaps a lot of your follicles are entering the stage where the hair is being released. Also with the hair breaking in the protective style ath only happed to me when I was using Infusium 23 now that i use one of the profective's and ORS Nature's Shine not a single hair. Oh and have you been oiling the hair ?

 

[SVT]

Poster: MissJ
[ QUOTE ]
Or do you want me to start talking about Michael Jackson again?

[/ QUOTE ]

ROTFLMAO!!!

 

[Tracy]

And COMBING the hair after airdrying it will certainly cause breakage. I know few, if any, people who do this and recommend it on the board. Airdried hair doesn't dry straight for the most part unless your hair is straight naturally. It looks to me like you've taken some of the suggestions and added your own twist....

Airdrying doesn't work for some precisely because they like to comb their hair. If this means you - don't airdry. And certainly don't comb airdried hair after it's dry. I may use a brush to smooth the hair into a bun - but combing is definitely out. That's a recipe for disaster.

At least it is on MY hair.
Are you still deep conditioning? You didn't mention that above. You just said you wash and put in a leave in. You also didn't say what leave in and if you've tried a few...

Some leave ins cause brittleness or don't work well with airdrying.

 

[Lindy]

Miss J,

You are funny! Michael Jackson...

Don't worry, I'm sure your hair will be just fine. Don't rush to cut it. You can probably just give it lots of TLC and it will be fine again. Is it shedding you're getting, or breakage? If it's shedding, then like someone said in another post, maybe your hair is going through a shedding phase.

In the future, do what you feel is best for your hair. Don't feel like you have to do things just because ladies here on the forum are doing them. I don't particularly care for S-curl either. I used it a couple of times, then stopped. Just because it works for some people, doesn't mean it will work for MY hair. My hair happens to prefer CareFreeCurl Gold moisturizer, who knows why!!

Anyway, we all have times when our hair frustrates us. Growing hair is a LONG process and unfortunately it doesn't happen overnight!! When it comes to growing hair, patience is a virtue. Sometimes reading posts on this board every day can make you feel even more frustrated when others seem to be having more success than you are. IMO, sometimes it's good to take a break from it, to put things into perspective.

Anyway, I wish you luck with your hair situation; I'm sure it will all turn out fine.

 

[SVT]

MissJ, I didn't mean to make light of your hair drama in my last post, but your MJ comment was too dang funny!

On a serious note, will you be going back to your previous hair care methods?

When I first started reading hairboards, I got carried away by all the beautiful hair pics and product raves. It took me a while to identify info that could actually benefit my hair. I'm sorry to hear of your setback, but you are much wiser now. Things will get better.

 

[Tracy]

Lindy - Tara and I like CFC Gold too!

I din't like the S-curl either, but I agree that curl activator is a wonderful idea for adding and retaining moisture!

I don't use it all the time, but I did find a way to make it work for me.

 

[sassygirl125]

Those are some mean looking shoes, girl!

I call my shoes like that my "Stone Cold Steve Austin Shoes". I can stomp a mudhole in anyone who tries to start something with me.

Sorry to hear about your hair. From the things you listed, I don't see anything that could cause severe damage...

If your scalp is dry, by all means put something on it. It doesn't have to be Dax or Royal Crown. Maybe something lighter that doesn't have any animal products in it... If the length of your hair is dry and tangly it sounds like you need to find a moisturizing deep conditioner that works for your hair type.

Tracy said:
Some leave ins cause brittleness or don't work well with airdrying.

YES! I tried Sebastian Potion 9 years ago and more recently Paul Mitchell The Cream. Both products left me with a crispy mess when my hair was dry. I didn't dare try to comb it! The relaxed part of my hair looked and felt like I had ApHogee on it!

The Pantene Light Conditioning Spray had a similar effect on my hair, but not nearly as bad as the other stuff.

What leave-in are you using? How often do you deep condition? With what conditioner? How do you put your hair into your protective style?

 

[jazzyfunknastee]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm not blaming anyone, geez. I can't discuss my hair problems with my hair people? I think that's what a hair discussion board is for. Or do you want me to start talking about Michael Jackson again?

[/ QUOTE ]

Le sigh....No one said you couldn't talk hair. What I and a few others gathered from you post was that you were blaming the boards for your setback. If that wasn't the case, your post wasn't too clear.

BTW, you already started up with MJ again so that threat is null and void now LOL

 

[NubianAngel]

If it aint broke, why fix it?

 

[sweetcocoa]

I'm sorry to hear about your setback. What works for one may not work for another. Maybe you are doing 'too much'...I feel less is best. Curl activator dries my hair out(glycerin)...so I steer clear of anything like that...but then not greasing my scalp does...I believe because I don't relax or because I rinse or shampoo almost daily, so my scalp stays hydrated. Protective styles work for me as long as I keep my hair mositurized(water followed by oil...not just oil...oil alone dries my hair out also.) Also keeping the hair 'taut' doesn't work with protective styles.
This forum is where you can come and learn new things about our hair...I never take anything as 'the gospel truth' ...for one....
I decide if I want to try it out(I know my hair and pretty much what will work and what won't)...and two
If I don't like the results I chop it up to experience and don't worry about it and go back to what does...if it does than great! So you may need to go back to what works for you or eliminate one of your new products to see if it just that and not everything. Or go back to your old routine(before the forum) and then add one new product at a time...instead of doing a major overhaul.

 

[Allandra]

[ QUOTE ]
MissJ said: Or do you want me to start talking about Michael Jackson again?

[/ QUOTE ]

MissJ, you have to do what works for your hair. We all know that what works for some will not work for everyone. We're all here to help. BTW, I don't think I've ever seen many posts from you on the hair discussion part of the LHCF. What was your hair care routine prior to joining the board? What products did you use prior to joining the board? With this information, maybe we can offer you some help and get your mane back to where it once was (and beyond).

 

[pebbles]

Re: Sweet Jesus! My hair....

So sorry to hear about your hair trouble, MissJ. As the other ladies stated, go back to what you did before and don't feel that you have to do everything mentioned on the board to your hair.

 

[MissJ]

Re: Sweet Jesus! My hair....

Ok, if it's shedding it's never done this before, not this much. Also, I AM using Infusium 23!!! I got it as a tip from the board that it would be good. When I comb with the leave-in in, almost nothing comes out. I just did a conditioner wash, since I shampooed two days ago, and the Infusium 23 worked just fine. Less hair comes out when I use that than when I don't use a leave in. I'm letting it stay loose to dry like I use to do. So, I'll tell you how it turns out later.

Also, I've used the QP Mango Butter then switched to Olive Oil Sheen in the past month. That's what I've been oiling my hair with. The conditioner that I use is LeKair conditioner. As a suggestion from the board, I leave it in for like 30 minutes under a plastic cap. I've had no problems with that.

When I comb my hair after taking it out of the bun there are strings hanging off the ends. I think it's breakage AND shedding.

I was like responding while reading, so this was my old routine:

Wash once a week with VO5, but I stopped because it has SLS.
Condition with LeKair condition, which I still do.
Then I'd untangle and comb my hair with a pick.
Let air dry loose.
Then I'd grease my scalp.
And I'd put it in a ponytail and roll the end.
I'd grease my scalp every 3 days.

Also, I'd like to thank everyone for their kind words.

 

[sylviaetc]

i just told peachtree the same thing... my hair has been looking worse everysince i've began to take care of it...
i tried the scurl it dried my hair out. i added oils to it i've got bumps all around my hairline.i had never done a protein treatment so i bought some emergency and some lekair cholesterol now i have the worse time untangling my hair during every wash even those when i don't use protein. i only use the emergency every 3wks and the cholestrol biwkly. i stopped using heat and my hair looks worse. i don' know if its the product or my inexperience. could be both or just me... i stopped using my fav shampoo because it contained sls and my hair has gone downhill from there. i guess it'll all take time...

 

[KinksnCurlz]

I've noticed after I've come to the board I've gotten bumps around my hairline as well

. I do not use oils on my scalp or near my hairline (only on my ends) so I don't know what could be causing this as I've never had a breakout in all my 28 years. It's amazing that when you think you are doing the right thing, something turns around and makes it all wrong. That just goes to show, what works for someone else, may not work for you.

 

[alireno]

MissJ, always remember that NO ONE and I mean NO ONE knows your hair like you do. Regardless of what anyone may say about this product or that product, you should have at least a general idea of what will and won't work on your hair. Think carefully before trying any product and stick with what you KNOW works.

 

[mirrormirror]

Re: Sweet Jesus! My hair....

[ QUOTE ]
I was like responding while reading, so this was my old routine:

Wash once a week with VO5, but I stopped because it has SLS.
Condition with LeKair condition, which I still do.
Then I'd untangle and comb my hair with a pick.
Let air dry loose.
Then I'd grease my scalp.
And I'd put it in a ponytail and roll the end.
I'd grease my scalp every 3 days.


[/ QUOTE ]

Hi Miss J
You should definately go back to your old routine. Because that obviously does well for your hair. From looking at your long hair photo, you really dont need to take in consideration- comments from this board.

 

[Stormy]

MissJ, I'm sorry to hear about your hair problems too. Now...before I ever joined ANY hair site I had my own regimen and my hair was doing fine. The only problem I was really having was some breakage (not much) so I tried the advice given for that, which was to try protein treatments. That's something that I didn't do before. I bought some Nexxus Keraphix and Emergencee and the Keraphix worked great! The Emergencee as so many people rave about didn't work as well (just OK)so I doubt that I'll be using that again. Anyway, I say all of that to say...unless you were having a problem with your hair why did you change or add to your own regemin? Always stick to what you know.

 

[Laela]

Re: Sweet Jesus! My hair....

MissJ, your shoes are da bomb!!!

OK, well, if you're doing all those things with your hair externally, could it be stress-related hair loss? Are you stressing over your beau? I hope not!

Nice pice, btw.. you're a beautiful girl..

ta ta,
Laela