BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
S/O from ET thread:
Thoughts? Feelings?
I feel some empathy towards this young lady. It is easy to adopt a healthy expectation of men always being the provider if you grew up in a financially stable household or if your parents didn't make you aware that they were struggling financially. But not every woman is so lucky. I don't know this woman's background, but from my own experience and observation of women who are quick to financially provide for men, many of them are still carrying emotional scars from childhood regarding money. In some struggling households, the parents make the child aware of their lack of financial resources early on, and they unintentionally put the child in a position where they feel like they are a burden for just existing. Imagine every material desire of yours being shot down and then your parents piling tons of negative thoughts on top of it.
The feeling of being a burden follows the child into adulthood. There is also guilt attached to it. Being independent means never having to revisit those feelings. Expecting a man (or anyone) to pay for anything brings back that emotional trauma-- you feel like a burden to him, even if you're sleeping with him. Because there was never a point in your life where money was spent freely on you without some negative emotion tied to it, you are quick to jump in and save the day. Many parents are ill-equipped to instill in their children (especially daughters) a healthy, positive mindset when it comes to money. The parents get so caught up in making ends meet that they neglect their daughters' need for emotional security. These women grow up with the belief that love is something they must earn. They have to prove their usefulness to the world. Therefore, they don't want to "burden" a man financially the same way they "burdened" their parents.
No dating strategy or advice will solve this. This has become a generational issue that requires therapy and healing. You have to release those emotional scars and change your attitude regarding money and a man's role as the provider. It can be done but it isn't easy.
Thoughts? Feelings?