*Spinoff* "The Rules Challenge!--"Rules" girls get in here!

The Dreamer said:
So I have a question about this... What if you actually -are- available most of the time? Do you just lie and pretend you have something to do most nights? :look:

(I'm available 99.9% of the time, lol. Most of my daily activities take 3 hours out of my day and that's it.)
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I also have a lot of free time. If a guy wants to do something last minute, I will decline. Don't call and ask me out to dinner a half an hour before.:perplexed I will just play coy and say that I wished he had asked earlier because I have other plans now. They're forced to ask you in advance then.
 
LOL!

If you live in Cali do NOT try this unless you plan on leaving the state!

LOL!

Has anyone read the "Rules" books for "sistas"?
 
tmichelle said:
I'm married already so I'm not part of the challenge, but I do like the concept of not straining yourself to find a man, as well as the fact that YOU are a prize. You should not ever let anyone or encourage men to take you for granted!

While I don't believe in hard set "rules" per se, I totally agree with the philosophy behind them. I wish all of you the best in this challenge!!!
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They have "rules" for married women too, Michelle :)
 
NappturalWomyn said:
1) Why are you personally participating in "The Rules" challenge?
I am tired of attracting dudes who need medication, or parking lot pimps.

2) How long do you plan on doing the challenge?
Until my single life is over...

3) Has pursuing men worked for you in the past? Yes? No? (Feel free to explain/elaborate if you wish)

Yes, it worked...but only so well. I ended up two complete dork ex-boyfriends. Never again.

4) What do you hope to gain by participating in "The Rules" Challenge?
As one of the posters wrote above, I am a beautiful intelligent talented woman, and I deserve a man who sees me as such.

5) When are you starting the challenge?
Started about a month ago. Here we go...
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well girl let me tell you, you will need to pull out the rules book every once in awhile even when you're taken....
 
MizAvalon said:
I also have a lot of free time. If a guy wants to do something last minute, I will decline. Don't call and ask me out to dinner a half an hour before.:perplexed I will just play coy and say that I wished he had asked earlier because I have other plans now. They're forced to ask you in advance then.
Click to expand...

What and miss a free meal? LOL!
 
MizAvalon said:
Girl, that meal will still be free the following week or whenever. Don't call me last minute just because your first option fell through. If you want to court me, then make the proper plans.:yep:
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Here in Cali, there are way too many eligible women than men that men have top pickings without ever having to pursue ONE woman... literally a dime a dozen! I doubt ANY rule will work here...
 
NappturalWomyn said:
1) Why are you personally participating in "The Rules" challenge?
I am tired of attracting dudes who need medication, or parking lot pimps
Click to expand...

ROTFL!!!! :lachen: I'm sorry but your quote above seriously made me laugh out loud! Haha! "parking lot pimps"!! lol* I know that's right. Preach it sister! :grin:

To answer the question that was posed about why not just let a man know that you're crazy about him? Well, in all honesty in a perfect world women could do this and everything would be ok. But we don't live in a perfect world unfortunately. All these books do (the rules, WMLB, etc.) is acknowledge the fact that men & women are made differently. We think & behave differently. These books just prevent women from jumping the gun too soon in a relationship.

We as women tend to get emotionally attached faster than men. That's just how we're made. Nothing wrong w/it, but our pursuing a guy or telling him our "feelings" early can overwhelm a guy. :( Later on in the relationship we can show him more of our feelings/be more vocal about them.

Dating is sort of like going through the interview process. Now, in a perfect world we could dress in jeans, be lax with our grooming, grammar and job history all throughout the interview and still land the job! Is this likely? No! That's why people put their best foot forward in an interview. They want that job! the same w/dating. You don't tell some guy this long story about how you are working on your abandonment issues and that you feel ababdonned when you don't hear from him 3x a day! :lol: Maybe wheb you two are in a lengthy relatiinship you can bring all that out, but not when you first meet the dude! You wouldn't even disclose intimate details w/a same-sex friend you just met until you both know each other better.

Most of the rules are just common sense, and if you think we don't use "rules" everyday to get what we want in life (ie. @ work, @ the store etc.)then you're mistaken!
 
Blossssom said:
Here in Cali, there are way too many eligible women than men that men have top pickings without ever having to pursue ONE woman... literally a dime a dozen! I doubt ANY rule will work here...
Click to expand...

I spend a lot of time in California and there are a lot of top notch women out there and they outnumber the men. Men certainly have the upper hand in that kind of environment.
 
MizAvalon said:
I spend a lot of time in California and there are a lot of top notch women out there and they outnumber the men. Men certainly have the upper hand in that kind of environment.
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Chile, it ain't no point :nono:

I remember when this book first came out, I tried the "rules"... I already had the looks segment down, so I was straight on that but when it came trying to garner a man's attention and keep him coming even with the "I'm busy" or whatever, he just went onto the next woman who wasn't busy!

It's just too much out here! I see some of the shabbiest men too with some fine women, and I just shake my head... what a waste :nono:

There simply aren't enough top-flight men to go around and the ones that are top-flight... CHEATERS! They can have any woman they want!
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
ROTFL!!!! :lachen: I'm sorry but your quote above seriously made me laugh out loud! Haha! "parking lot pimps"!! lol* I know that's right. Preach it sister! :grin:

To answer the question that was posed about why not just let a man know that you're crazy about him? Well, in all honesty in a perfect world women could do this and everything would be ok. But we don't live in a perfect world unfortunately. All these books do (the rules, WMLB, etc.) is acknowledge the fact that men & women are made differently. We think & behave differently. These books just prevent women from jumping the gun too soon in a relationship.

We as women tend to get emotionally attached faster than men. That's just how we're made. Nothing wrong w/it, but our pursuing a guy or telling him our "feelings" early can overwhelm a guy. :( Later on in the relationship we can show him more of our feelings/be more vocal about them.

Dating is sort of like going through the interview process. Now, in a perfect world we could dress in jeans, be lax with our grooming, grammar and job history all throughout the interview and still land the job! Is this likely? No! That's why people put their best foot forward in an interview. They want that job! the same w/dating. You don't tell some guy this long story about how you are working on your abandonment issues and that you feel ababdonned when you don't hear from him 3x a day! :lol: Maybe wheb you two are in a lengthy relatiinship you can bring all that out, but not when you first meet the dude! You wouldn't even disclose intimate details w/a same-sex friend you just met until you both know each other better.

Most of the rules are just common sense, and if you think we don't use "rules" everyday to get what we want in life (ie. @ work, @ the store etc.)then you're mistaken!
Click to expand...

thank you.....good answer....I like to hear what people have to say

I always tell people to remember the type of world they expect, how they expect people to act, what they think they have to do is exactly what they will get.....alot of us live in a collective conscience of the same sort of world so for the most part you are right about how everybody acts, and has to play games, men have issues women have issues and we have to act a certain way outside of ourselves just to be able to function with everybody else who lives in that same world.....I won't go out there too much but there are folks who live in a better world.....I will say it took enough of dealing in the other one, playing not just the game of dating, but the game of life as it is outlined to us..... to decide to be up out of it
 
I am so joining this challenge. I think it's a great complement to The ONE that I am reading. I can do with some brushing up on the rules.

i will come back and answer the questions in a bit.
 
1) Why are you personally participating in "The Rules" challenge?
I want to reaffirm what I already know, men chase women choose

2) How long do you plan on doing the challenge?
Forever

3) Has pursuing men worked for you in the past? Yes? No? (Feel free to explain/elaborate if you wish)

Nope

4) What do you hope to gain by participating in "The Rules" Challenge?
A better sense of self, realization that challenging a man only runs off the ones that dont need to be there in the first place.

5) When are you starting the challenge?
Today! In the midst of a relationship where I love and am loved but we both need to be sure that we want to stay here. My honey needs to realize that I will be with him forever but on terms that also benefit me
 
ummm
So I think that I may be in a dilemma,but I don't know if am really in one, which make this situation even more frustrating.
 
Oneya said:
ummm
So I think that I may be in a dilemma,but I don't know if am really in one, which make this situation even more frustrating.
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Which is all more reason to do "The Rules", or follow the "WMLB" guidelines! As author Sherry Argov (of WMLB) would say: "Monkey see, monkey do. If he's getting 'unsure' about the relationship, YOU get 'unsure' as well! If he needs 'more space' and wants more time to hang out with his buddies, YOU go ahead and need more space and hang out with your girl friends as well!" :lol:

If a guy isn't stepping up to the plate and making his intentions known, then you are "free game"...so you can feel free to date freely if he hasn't expressed that he wants to date you exclusively yet.

This thread should be an encouragement for us ladies not to settle for the bottom of the barrell when we're worth more than the barrell itself! Why don't we root each other on, and encourage each other to stick with the rules for a few months just to see what happens? We can post our progress/experience (or even failures) with "The Rules" or the WMLB principles on this board to see if it really works. Rememer, this is just an experiment ladies! A *new* way of doing things. ;)
 
This is so true... I brought "WMLB" last night and I'm almost finish with the book.. Great advice... I will start the Rules Book this weekend...


Crystalicequeen123 said:
Which is all more reason to do "The Rules", or follow the "WMLB" guidelines! As author Sherry Argov (of WMLB) would say: "Monkey see, monkey do. If he's getting 'unsure' about the relationship, YOU get 'unsure' as well! If he needs 'more space' and wants more time to hang out with his buddies, YOU go ahead and need more space and hang out with your girl friends as well!" :lol:

If a guy isn't stepping up to the plate and making his intentions known, then you are "free game"...so you can feel free to date freely if he hasn't expressed that he wants to date you exclusively yet.

This thread should be an encouragement for us ladies not to settle for the bottom of the barrell when we're worth more than the barrell itself! Why don't we root each other on, and encourage each other to stick with the rules for a few months just to see what happens? We can post our progress/experience (or even failures) with "The Rules" or the WMLB principles on this board to see if it really works. Rememer, this is just an experiment ladies! A *new* way of doing things. ;)
Click to expand...
 
The Dreamer said:
Wow, just in reading the intro chapter of the rules I was already breaking half the suggestions. :laugh:
Click to expand...

MzLady78 said:
LOL.

This is was me when I first started reading WMLB.

I was like damn, I done screwed up already. :lachen:
Click to expand...

Haha! I know right? :lol: :rofl:

But that's okay! You can un-do what you were doing in the past that didn't work. It's never too late. Even if you and your ex are no longer together, if you follow the rules you can be better prepared for the next guy that comes around. And who knows? Maybe keeping your distance in a subtle way might make your ex start coming your way again. You just never know! Trust me, guys take notice. :yep: In WMLB it mentions that guys don't pay attention to your words, they pay attention to your ACTIONS.
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
Which is all more reason to do "The Rules", or follow the "WMLB" guidelines! As author Sherry Argov (of WMLB) would say: "Monkey see, monkey do. If he's getting 'unsure' about the relationship, YOU get 'unsure' as well! If he needs 'more space' and wants more time to hang out with his buddies, YOU go ahead and need more space and hang out with your girl friends as well!" :lol:

If a guy isn't stepping up to the plate and making his intentions known, then you are "free game"...so you can feel free to date freely if he hasn't expressed that he wants to date you exclusively yet.

This thread should be an encouragement for us ladies not to settle for the bottom of the barrell when we're worth more than the barrell itself! Why don't we root each other on, and encourage each other to stick with the rules for a few months just to see what happens? We can post our progress/experience (or even failures) with "The Rules" or the WMLB principles on this board to see if it really works. Rememer, this is just an experiment ladies! A *new* way of doing things. ;)
Click to expand...
Naturally I follow the rules, my entire life...and it is working, with someone that already has a girlfriend long distance.
This is problematic.
Anyone has been in this situation?
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Ok Ladies, I know that we are NOT supposed to chase a man or be too available too soon!

But, I have a question........How do you "position" yourself so that only the QUALITY guys approach or pursue you?

I'm classy and successful, but this still does not stop the BROKE, BUSTED, and DISFUNCTIONAL guys from trying to holla! :perplexed

I'm thinking I can play the RULES once I meet a GREAT guy, but how do you weed out the TOADS- RULES-Style! :ohwell: And we all have known some toads who will not stop calling.
 
Oneya said:
Naturally I follow the rules, my entire life...and it is working, with someone that already has a girlfriend last distance.
This is problematic.
Anyone has been in this situation?
Click to expand...

Yes, and pay him no mind. The situation is problematic for him, not for you (if he does like you). If he decides that he likes you enough to break things off with her then great. But until then I wouldn't entertain anything beyond friendship--in thought or in action. And if he tries to draw you into something more than that you can call him out on it.

But still be mindful of the Rules, since it can be easy for women to be like, "Well we're just friends so I can call him, invite him out, etc." Nope, that's an easy way to fool ourselves.
 
CurliDiva said:
Ok Ladies, I know that we are NOT supposed to chase a man or be too available too soon!

But, I have a question........How do you "position" yourself so that only the QUALITY guys approach or pursue you?

I'm classy and successful, but this still does not stop the BROKE, BUSTED, and DISFUNCTIONAL guys from trying to holla! :perplexed

I'm thinking I can play the RULES once I meet a GREAT guy, but how do you weed out the TOADS- RULES-Style! :ohwell: And we all have known some toads who will not stop calling.
Click to expand...

Man, tell me about it! I get some characters all day long. You have to take the good with the bad I guess. These busted guys are definitely looking for a classy sista, no doubt. I just tell them I'm seeing someone.
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
ROTFL!!!! :lachen: I'm sorry but your quote above seriously made me laugh out loud! Haha! "parking lot pimps"!! lol* I know that's right. Preach it sister! :grin:

To answer the question that was posed about why not just let a man know that you're crazy about him? Well, in all honesty in a perfect world women could do this and everything would be ok. But we don't live in a perfect world unfortunately. All these books do (the rules, WMLB, etc.) is acknowledge the fact that men & women are made differently. We think & behave differently. These books just prevent women from jumping the gun too soon in a relationship.

We as women tend to get emotionally attached faster than men. That's just how we're made. Nothing wrong w/it, but our pursuing a guy or telling him our "feelings" early can overwhelm a guy. :( Later on in the relationship we can show him more of our feelings/be more vocal about them.

Dating is sort of like going through the interview process. Now, in a perfect world we could dress in jeans, be lax with our grooming, grammar and job history all throughout the interview and still land the job! Is this likely? No! That's why people put their best foot forward in an interview. They want that job! the same w/dating. You don't tell some guy this long story about how you are working on your abandonment issues and that you feel ababdonned when you don't hear from him 3x a day! :lol: Maybe wheb you two are in a lengthy relatiinship you can bring all that out, but not when you first meet the dude! You wouldn't even disclose intimate details w/a same-sex friend you just met until you both know each other better.

Most of the rules are just common sense, and if you think we don't use "rules" everyday to get what we want in life (ie. @ work, @ the store etc.)then you're mistaken!
Click to expand...

:yep: That's what it all comes down to!
 
Oneya said:
Naturally I follow the rules, my entire life...and it is working, with someone that already has a girlfriend last distance.
This is problematic.
Anyone has been in this situation?
Click to expand...

Hey Oneya,

IMO, I don't think the "RULES" are working in this situation!

Don't be emotionally (espically a physical subsitute) available for a man who can't (if his girlfriend is in town?) be there and do the SAME for you 24/7!
 
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