Spinoff: How to avoid heartbreak

[ThickHair]

Stay completely in love with you, adore yourself, while with the other person. Always have your own back. If he leaves that should not mean an end to being treated, being sent flowers, being touched gently and sweetly, etc. Be there for you. I think that will help. That will also help you with being aware of being mistreated more quickly. If you truly know how it feels to be loved, you will know when and if he is slacking sooner. Being this way also makes you more attractive to other guys, keeps men on their toes, because they in essence have to compete with you for your affection.

hopeful You always have the most comforting words and speak the truth.

 

[hopeful]

Love you ThickHair! You continue to say the kindest things to me. I really appreciate and admire you. I continue to learn and grow. Whenever I feel I really "get" something I feel compelled to share it with other women, especially black women.

 

[NGraceO]

This is what I don't get either. Theoretically it's fine but in reality we are human. As much as we put God first in our lives, our feelings get hurt. Be it in a romantic relationship, relationships with friends, family members etc. People let us down and it emotionally affects us regardless of our relationship with God.

Exactly. In my past when I was heavily into Christianity, this was my experience. God was very much so "first" for me, but to say that you won't get hurt is a fantasy. Even Jesus was hurt by people and situations; it's what you do with that hurt makes the difference.

I found God to be a great coping mechanism for life's hurts, but not a barrier.

 

[NGraceO]

You ladies are so on point! Great insights and conversation.

 

[Jadi]

There really isn't a way to prevent being heart broken but you can make it easier to get over.

Stop talking to the guy.
Don't be "friends."
Cut them off completely.
Give them back any stuff they left at your place....or throw it out.
Block their number because they WILL try to contact you.
Go ahead and take some time to grieve but don't wallow in your sorrow.
Go out with your girlfriends and have some fun. That doesn't mean you have to be on the prowl for another guy. Just go out and drink, dance, hike, run, whatever makes you happy!
Remember that you were happy before that dummy and you WILL be happy again!

I need to do this more. I am still getting over mines.

 

[Fine 4s]

I need to do this more. I am still getting over mines.

As soon as I meet someone else, I can communicate and enjoy the ex on a friendship level even if the feelings are still there. Also, when you make peace with the situation without blaming yourself or him, you'll be OK...eventually.

I don't believe all relationships require this IMO-

 

[Briabiggles]

As soon as I meet someone else, I can communicate and enjoy the ex on a friendship level even if the feelings are still there. Also, when you make peace with the situation without blaming yourself or him, you'll be OK...eventually. I don't believe all relationships require this IMO-

It definitely depends on the person. I have no need to be friends with exes.

Sent from my iPad mini mini.

 

[daydreem2876]

Timing is everything. For me, it was learning to let go at my first instinct instead of waiting/hoping things can get better. In my past relationships, there was always that point of no return where no matter what happened the relationship could not be repaired. i could always feel it, but when I was younger I would ignore it and hope for things to get better. I never view a break up as my loss, I'm confident about who I am but that does not mesh well with everybody. it's cool... on to the next!

 

[Ganjababy]

Fall in love with the right person? Someone who loves you regardless...


Know your worth.

 

[GoldenRule]

Love freely and wholeheartedly but realize that you own NOTHING and NO ONE on this planet. Everything in this life is transitory in nature. People, places, and things pass in and out of your life the entire time you live it. When it is time for it to move on, it's TIME. There is sadness involved in that for sure but you have to realize that you were WHOLE and OK before it and you will be WHOLE and OK again. If it was something that was VERY good, be grateful and thankful that you had it...don't be greedy and agonize that you didn't have it as long as you wanted. That's selfishness. If it was something that wasn't good, be grateful and thankful that it is over. Take the lessons you've learned and use them to find yourself a better-suited circumstance. I totally believe God has a plan for us and when things in my life take a turn, I do not resist it. Life is forever moving forward and you cannot spend the rest of your life looking behind you or you'll miss the things in front of you. I was widowed at an early age and people are always remarking how "well" I did with it. I guess I made it look easier than it felt but what kept me going was...I'd say to myself, "Whew! That was good! THANK YOU FOR THAT. Thank You for that. Thank You for that." And I have no regrets, nor am I bitter. Dating since then has been a challenge but I get out there. I've broken a heart or two and mine has taken a beating once or twice but that's just life. That's how you know you're still living. Don't be afraid to FEEL. It's all good stuff!

 

[MzLady78]

^^^ Thank you so much for this post, it really spoke to me today.

 

[crazytrish75]

Fall in love with the right person? Someone who loves you regardless...


Know your worth.

this is the main thing.....

There really isn't a way to prevent being heart broken but you can make it easier to get over.

Stop talking to the guy.
Don't be "friends."
Cut them off completely.
Give them back any stuff they left at your place....or throw it out.
Block their number because they WILL try to contact you.
Go ahead and take some time to grieve but don't wallow in your sorrow.
Go out with your girlfriends and have some fun. That doesn't mean you have to be on the prowl for another guy. Just go out and drink, dance, hike, run, whatever makes you happy!
Remember that you were happy before that dummy and you WILL be happy again!

I'm going through a very nasty and painful divorce. Everything that you listed except the bolded has been my coping mechanisms. I can't do the bolded because of our children. However, I absolutely ignore any text that does not relate to our children's well-being. For true heartbreak, I truly believe that no contact is vital.

 

[Kindheart]

Bumping .

 

[God_Favor]

Walk away when your women powers (intuition) tells you too. Being in an abusive relationship makes this much easier. If I don't like how I'm being treated , I bounce. And for me boe, its very easy not to look back..