Goodness, I thought for sure this thread would die by now. Since I was called "presumptuous," I had to come back here and post again on this topic.
First, yes these debates
do affect who will choose to go natural. Imagine if you were just contemplating going natural and you ran across a few of these threads.
That's what happened to me a few years ago when I found a different hair board. I was like, WTH??? If it takes all that to be natural, forget it!!!! I still feel that way.
Second, I could care less how anyone choose to categorize him or herself. My hair is relaxed. It makes zero difference in my real life.
Third, if you wear weaves, yes your hair is still natural underneath, but NO, if you're walking around with a full head of weave, there's nothing "natural" about that. My post was not about women wearing weaves, but about women who wear weaves and preach against relaxers, or "heat training."
You may not have a relaxer in your head, but you're wearing FAKE HAIR. Yes, you can still use the "natural" label to describe the hair that you're HIDING, but if everyone around you knows you have extensions in your hair, what image of black women do you think you're putting out there? How does it differ from a woman who chooses to relax her hair, or heat train her hair, or BKT her hair or whatever? Are you showing how "proud" you are of your real, natural hair while wearing a weave? At least I'm not HIDING my chemically-altered hair.
I think "naturals" who wear weaves should really take a step back from judging others. If you're not one of those people, then this doesn't apply to you.
Fourth, umm I can't help it if you don't want anyone to "bring mindsets" into the discussion.
That's how I feel when it's brought up about relaxed heads in every single thread. The mixed up idea is that you can color your hair, spend hundreds of dollars on products trying to grow your hair, get highlights/bleach, and wear all the weaves, braids and wigs you want, but the MINUTE you relax your hair, you have *issues* okayyyyy.................
Someone could easily browse LHCF and see how much energy, time, and money we spend in the pursuit of longer hair and come to the conclusion that we ALL have a complex.
Interesting... I think.
I think if we sit back and stop assuming that all naturals have a superiority complex or all have an anti-straight steez, then perhaps this debate wouldn't be so heated. Not everyone is judging people that are relaxed, calm down. I'm not even gonna go into that because clearly you don't mean me. I don't care about folks relaxing.
Really, I don't.
I also want to know where on the board you've witnessed a natural who is staunch anti-relaxer but is sporting weaves.
I get conflicting messages from your response though; in the bolded you state how you couldn't care less how others categorize themselves but in the next paragraph, in the green, you contradict that by asserting that they are not 'proud' of their
own hair by "hiding" their hair while they preach against perms.
The reason I feel it's ridiculous to bring someone's mindset to going natural is because it simply, DOES.NOT.MATTER. If someone wishes to high heaven to be relaxed but is allergic, or someone likes wigs/braids/weaves/non-chemical styles, does not negate the fact that they're actually natural. That's why I do say it's quite presumptuous to exclaim they're 'less natural' or 'less proud'. How can you use an example of some random person to judge all naturals who wear weave?
In essence, you're throwing back that tired assertion you get annoyed that some naturals throw at relaxed heads that it's a self-hatred thing.
Also, if I really wanted to go natural and saw these threads, it wouldn't make me balk at my decision, that's where you and I differ.
Yes my nicca, I wear weaves, not all the time, but I do. They're fun. When I'm not in weaves, I rock natural styles because they're fun too. I didn't do it to preach anti-perm, or the pseudo conscious thing some naturals do, my sista,
I did it because I have a goal for the biggest hair ever. My hair is fine, so I went natural to achieve that, and weaves are an easy protective style to retain my length. Point blank.
What if I wore a 4b kinky natural weave? Would you feel the same about weave wearers?
(before anyone asks, I dont use that hair because it costs too much and I'm too cheap to spend 200 on hair alone.)
My point is that the overanalyzing and assumptions of why people do what they do to their hair is what both sides are trying to squelch. I implore you to live up to your assertion that you couldn't care less what people categorize themselves.