Spin-off: Thoughts?

[LiftedUp]

I know this "marriage minded man" who met a woman, got married and had a baby all within a year. His ex gf broke up with him a short while before that because of the pressure he was putting on her.

We are friends. But he keeps messaging me (which I find inappropriate) and whenever I wish his wife and baby a great day or ask about them, he's vague. Late, he told me that his wife is never there, she and the baby are by her family the majority of the time. I don't understand the deterioration and he's very nonchalant about it. This is the opposite to how he was prior to marriage, he basically planned and organised his entire wedding.

I also want to tell him to stop messaging me asking me "what's up" or about my "weekend plans" or if I'm attending xyz event or inviting me to xyz. He messages me in the night as well. Now that I know his wife and baby barely lives with him I understand why. I also feel very awkward

 

[SelahOco]

How close friends are y'all. I would just ask him about it. If he's just a casual friend, I'd just keep it light and ignore his personal issues. He cross the line with you check him, block him.

Does seem sad though.

 

[ThickHair]

OP, you don't have to answer his text messages.

 

[LiftedUp]

The thing is I'm not that type of person until you get me angry. Right now I'm just disturbed. The first time he told me about her not being there he said "she's by her parents, long story, so what's on tonight?" The marriage minded men thread reminded me about his crazy behind.

eta: I don't think he's hitting on me, he's doesn't know how to act as a married man I think. He's trying to find me a husband and tell me what I'm doing wrong

 

[SelahOco]

Nothing wrong with venting when you're experiencing something you find strange. You might have to just ignore him though.

Leave and cleave....that's what he needs to do

 

[Leesh]

The thing is I'm not that type of person until you get me angry. Right now I'm just disturbed. The first time he told me about her not being there he said "she's by her parents, long story, so what's on tonight?" The marriage minded men thread reminded me about his crazy behind.

eta: I don't think he's hitting on me, he's doesn't know how to act as a married man I think. He's trying to find me a husband and tell me what I'm doing wrong

Yes he is trying to hit on you, very slightley at first but yes thats where its leading. The intensity will increase. This is why the topic of Wife/Baby always gets blown off.

And no he is not trying to find you a husband, thats his way to get your guard down to make you feel like this is all so innocent.

Block him.

 

[LiftedUp]

I'll block him if it becomes personal. I don't like to hurt people's feelings unless I don't know them or I'm angry with them.

 

[carcajada]

I'll block him if it becomes personal. I don't like to hurt people's feelings unless I don't know them or I'm angry with them.

Is he as concerned about your feelings as you are about his?

 

[LaBelleLL]

I would just go ghost. There is def something not kosher about his interactions with you and you think so too OP. Otherwise you wouldn't have started the thread.

You know what you need to do OP.

 

[LiftedUp]

I've been thinking about it for a while because it's odd. But I can't tell anyone irl given our small networking circles lol