Spin Off: Can Men and Women be friends?

[EbonyYoungin517]

This is spin off from the thread asking if you would mind a woman calling your man..


My question to you all is can a man be friends with a woman? I've heard so many different opinions from so many different people. If you speak to a lot f men they are very apprehensive about their female having male friends, sayin some they know what the other guy is thinking. Dudes cant be friends with chicks cause all they're doing is waiting for the 'lucky' day. My SO is a firm believer of that.

I'm on the fence with the issue. I do believe there is a man out there who is able to be friends with a woman but would have to be rooted strongly in his christian beliefs and doctrines.

What are your opinions?

I feel that no matter what it will be in a man blood to look at other females but its the matter of whether or not he will act if ever presented the opportunity and a strong christian man or a man very happy in his relationship would be able to resist temptation...

IDK...am i being naive?

 

[Likeyouneverseenme]

NO, NEI, NON, NYET, NEJ, NEIN, IKKE FAEN!

 

[EbonyYoungin517]

NO, NEI, NON, NIET, NEJ, NEIN, IKKE FAEN!

lmao

 

[MzLady78]

I have a group of guys that I have been strictly, 100% platonic friends with for going on 17 years now, so my answer is yes.

Oh and they're far from Christian, LOL.

 

[The Girl]

I would like to think so but IDK. Some men can handle it some can't, the same for women. I understand where you are coming from but I like having a male POV sometimes..strictly platonic mind you.

 

[Spongie Bloom]

yes i think they can be i have male friends who are just that and i enjoy their company very much.

 

[HoneyDew]

Yes.

I have 2 very good male friends. The women that come in their lives don't like that they talk to me, though. We have always had problems with that. One even told me that his girl at the time would have felt better about it if I was not attractive.

And I am sure that if I told either of them that I wanted more, they would be all over it.

But, they respect me and we enjoy communicating with each other on a platonic level.

While I am single it is nice to have male friends to talk to sometimes.

 

[Ramya]

yes i think they can be i have male friends who are just that and i enjoy their company very much.

Yep my male friends are like big brothers to me.

 

[spacetygrss]

NO, NEI, NON, NYET, NEJ, NEIN, IKKE FAEN!

LOL!

Yes, some men and women CAN just be friends, but I don't think that it's a good idea (whether they are Christian, Muslim, pagan, whatever). I think that most men are waiting for that "lucky day" when you just might need/want them for a something "extra." It's better just to avoid it, IMO.

 

[FluffyRed]

Generally, I don't think a male is going to make an effort to see a female he does not have some attraction to especially in their hormonal 20s.

If they meet at work and are forced together, it may be conceivable...

Nah, I still think one person is going to want the other in order to make the time for the other person. They may hide it later, but someone is always "waiting for their chance." Men sometimes wait years to admit it.

Friendship is just a ploy to get panties for some men. It's their MO.

 

[lux10023]

both of my bestfriends are male and we have been 200% platonic--ive known them since highschool
i think it is possible if both people are honest about the idea of friendship/nature of the rlp btwn you and them etc

 

[FluffyRed]

both of my bestfriends are male and we have been 200% platonic--ive known them since highschool
i think it is possible if both people are honest about the idea of friendship/nature of the rlp btwn you and them etc

YOU may be honest, but they're lying. They wanted to hit it in highschool, and if you gave them a chance, they still would.

 

[aja1121]

I have 2 very good male friends. One I used to work with and one I went to college with. One of them was waiting for that lucky day....but I told him it wouldn't happen, but he said he'd rather be in my life, so friends we stayed. They both have a significant amount of female friends anyway.

My grandmother always said that it was important to have at least one male friend in your life to put things in perspective. I always frowned at that advice....but now that I have two, I see what she means.

 

[HeChangedMyName]

I have a group of guys that I have been strictly, 100% platonic friends with for going on 17 years now, so my answer is yes.

Oh and they're far from Christian, LOL.

Me too. Some of the guys I entered Junior High are still my friends to this day. that was back in 89. WOWWWWW. I even made some guy friends in college who are still, just that. . .friends.

 

[JustKiya]

Yes. What's between your legs doesn't define our relationship. This is like asking - can you be just friends with a gay woman? Just because they are sexually attracted to women, doesn't mean they want you.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

On the fence but because of my experience....I'd say NO.

I dont want to think I'm the greatest thing ever but they ALL want to "do" me or have wanted to do me. Few have been previous boyfriends or jumpoffs. Meeting new guys are ALWAYS about getting with you or in you (even if you meet them in church). My SO hates it now especially seen a really close guy friend that I had (that is MARRIED or divorced, whatever) kissed me. Another one kissed me on the neck. I had to cut them all off because they wont control themselves or understand I REALLY LOVE MY MAN. Like he's sexy, successful, my best friend, s*x is off da hook, and we get along great and look beautiful together. Maybe, they want what I give him...i dont know.


I dont know about others but I have come to learn men dont want to be my friend.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Sure they can.

My best friend is a guy, and we've been close for years and years. My BFF is always worried that DH is going to suspect him of something, but DH knows that I am not thinking about BFF like that. It's all love.

I agree that some guys are friends while waiting/wishing/hoping/praying. DH and I were friends for a year before we became romantic, and he had liked me but masked his feelings that whole time.

 

[Nina_deF]

NO, NEI, NON, NYET, NEJ, NEIN, IKKE FAEN!

In response to the bolded: JO, FÖR FAN!!!

Agreeing with some of the posters, just because he/she maybe hetro/homosexual does NOT mean that they want you.
I have a few good male friends, some gay, some straight, it doesn't matter, none of them want a 6 ft tall black woman with attitude in their bed and I want none of them in mine so..... well, maybe, if I were desperate but come on now....

 

[MissMasala5]

Prior to marriage, I had some really good, close male friends. Today, DH and I have mutual male friends, but I'm not close with them like he his. So yes, men and women can be friends. It usually takes a really special type of man to do this, IMO.

 

[Charz]

Depends on the parties involved. Most of my friends are guys but they describe me as very "broly", meaning I am pretty laid back and chill, and enjoy streotypical male activities. It's just how I am.

 

[FluffyRed]

Yes. What's between your legs doesn't define our relationship. This is like asking - can you be just friends with a gay woman? Just because they are sexually attracted to women, doesn't mean they want you.

It's not like that. Men are not like women. They want to spread their seed. A man is only as faithful as his options.

ETA - I'm not defining friendship as two folks who never have sex. I'm defining it as friends with no underlying dynamics and no unrequited feelings. A dude is not going to sit and listen to "girl talk" with a woman he is not interested in, unless he's trying to get at her friend. At least I have never seen it, so I don't believe in it, like I don't believe in Santa Claus.

 

[Ramya]

It's not like that. Men are not like women. They want to spread their seed. A man is only as faithful as his options.

ETA - I'm not defining friendship as two folks who never have sex. I'm defining it as friends with no underlying dynamics and no unrequited feelings. A dude is not going to sit and listen to "girl talk" with a woman he is not interested in, unless he's trying to get at her friend. At least I have never seen it, so I don't believe in it, like I don't believe in Santa Claus.

Well I'm sorry that you have some unfortunate friends. When my male friends don't want to hear something they tell me that they don't care or start igging me lol. But they have no problem filling my ears up with stories about their conquests, girlfriends and hoochies. They don't want me and I don't want them. Not now, not ever .

 

[EbonyYoungin517]

LOL we gotta tie.

 

[steph19]

Sigh

Sometimes its hard to face the fact that men really aren't that complicated.
They are talking to you because they like you..if they didn't, you would not be in their life. They are a very simple gender. As much as some women will go into deep detail about how its ok and yadda yadda, men are not that serious about it.I mean really, if u are annoying, too tall, attitude problem, etc and he's still around that means there's something there that he can still get with it..becuz trust if it was another "friend" he would have cut her off long ago.

Platonic relationships as I use to define them with my male friends back in the day was a friendship formed with the understanding that we would never become bf/gf, have sex, or any other type of intimacy because of x,y,and z. You knew there was attraction there but for whatever reason u decided not to actually cross the line..but they were still ppl u could share your life with and feel cool chillin with and yadda yadda

I have one now, simply because i do not find him attractive..i'd never tell him that reason though...he's smitten with me and i know it, but i have the control in this partnership. I have no chemistry towards him but we are the coolest friends..but it doesnt count because he likes me so its not a real friendship.

I had another years ago and it was the same situation basically.

What I'm trying to say is that in your "friendship" one of u likes the other..it may pass..both of u might get married to other ppl and that sexual attraction may not be there as it was before but the point is that it was still there in the beginning and that was the purpose of the "friendship" in the first place

One person if not both is always gonna think differently than the other whether they let it ever be known or not...and if he really isnt all that into u, then ure probably the one wanting a little of him to urself..trust even that office relationship where he's just cordial, makes small talk or whatever, he's already visualized u nekkid has gone on with life

my two cents, i'm with fluffyred all the way on this one

 

[JustKiya]

It's not like that. Men are not like women. They want to spread their seed. A man is only as faithful as his options.

ETA - I'm not defining friendship as two folks who never have sex. I'm defining it as friends with no underlying dynamics and no unrequited feelings. A dude is not going to sit and listen to "girl talk" with a woman he is not interested in, unless he's trying to get at her friend. At least I have never seen it, so I don't believe in it, like I don't believe in Santa Claus.

Wow. That's a really - low view of men. I guess if that's the only kind of man you've run with though, that's the perception you would have.

 

[tinkat]

Sigh

Sometimes its hard to face the fact that men really aren't that complicated.
They are talking to you because they like you..if they didn't, you would not be in their life. They are a very simple gender. As much as some women will go into deep detail about how its ok and yadda yadda, men are not that serious about it.I mean really, if u are annoying, too tall, attitude problem, etc and he's still around that means there's something there that he can still get with it..becuz trust if it was another "friend" he would have cut her off long ago.

Platonic relationships as I use to define them with my male friends back in the day was a friendship formed with the understanding that we would never become bf/gf, have sex, or any other type of intimacy because of x,y,and z. You knew there was attraction there but for whatever reason u decided not to actually cross the line..but they were still ppl u could share your life with and feel cool chillin with and yadda yadda

I have one now, simply because i do not find him attractive..i'd never tell him that reason though...he's smitten with me and i know it, but i have the control in this partnership. I have no chemistry towards him but we are the coolest friends..but it doesnt count because he likes me so its not a real friendship.

I had another years ago and it was the same situation basically.

What I'm trying to say is that in your "friendship" one of u likes the other..it may pass..both of u might get married to other ppl and that sexual attraction may not be there as it was before but the point is that it was still there in the beginning and that was the purpose of the "friendship" in the first place

One person if not both is always gonna think differently than the other whether they let it ever be known or not...and if he really isnt all that into u, then ure probably the one wanting a little of him to urself..trust even that office relationship where he's just cordial, makes small talk or whatever, he's already visualized u nekkid has gone on with life

my two cents, i'm with fluffyred all the way on this one

This is a great way to explain it.

 

[FluffyRed]

Wow. That's a really - low view of men. I guess if that's the only kind of man you've run with though, that's the perception you would have.

It's really not.

It's an awareness of what testosterone does and the lack of a need to believe that men are "just like" women. They are not.

 

[JustKiya]

It's really not.

It's an awareness of what testosterone does and the lack of a need to believe that men are "just like" women. They are not.

I never said, or implied they were 'just like women'. I believe that a adult human mind can control it's actions and reactions to the hormones that constantly flood our bodies - whether it's a male testosterone making him want to bone some chica, or a womans estrogen making her want to cry in the middle of a professional presentation.
So, to say that a man is as faithful as his options implies that he has no control over what his penis does, and is merely a mindless f*uckbot with no self-control.

 

[MzLady78]

Sorry, I really don't buy that EVERY man in my life is there because he's just waiting to see if he can get in my panties.

16 years is a long time to be clinging on to that kind of hope.

 

[EbonyYoungin517]

I never said, or implied they were 'just like women'. I believe that a adult human mind can control it's actions and reactions to the hormones that constantly flood our bodies - whether it's a male testosterone making him want to bone some chica, or a womans estrogen making her want to cry in the middle of a professional presentation.
So, to say that a man is as faithful as his options implies that he has no control over what his penis does, and is merely a mindless f*uckbot with no self-control.

A lot of men do give that type of impression and I brought this topic out to male that I associate with and they agree with her philosophy. Well....idk bout spreading the seeds things but will have a chick and will like holding conversations with or she's cool to be round but ever given the chance, he'll beat it out the park...lol...