**SPIN** DO YOU OBEY YOUR HUSBAND?

[Triniwegian]

After reading the Tiny and Toya thread about T.I. putting his foot down, it made me think how many women would actually let their husband tell then "no" and obey him and how many would tell him to kick rocks.

So my question is..

Do you obey your husband?

 

[JustDoIt]

That's a bit of a hard question to answer in absolutes... it depends on what he's putting his foot down on... in essence.. he never does this.. we have quite an open relationship in which we discuss everything and compromise as is needed.. no one ever puts their foot down.. actually if it's anyone who would put their foot down it would be me.. cause I'm more likely to have issues than he does.. but as I said before we talk about everything...

 

[dlewis]

On some things. If the issue is very important to him and not to me, I do what he says.

If the issue is important to me then I do what I feel is best.

My husband is not like that though. He's pretty laid back.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Obey is like I am obligated to do whatever you tell me to do.

Submitting is I willingly yield to your decisions but not beyond my own morals and values (i.e. you don't top what Jesus say).

SO submit yes...obey idk...but im not married so...

 

[MrsHdrLe]

I don't particularly like that word "obey", it reminds me of a owner-dog/parent-child/or master-servant relationship, but I do consult him on certain things esp. when it will affect our relationship (ie, money, hair/looks, furniture...), but ultimately, I make the decision based on the concept, "Do I want a happy home or one where we're doing little things to undermind/get back at the other?" So, I make compromises b/c I choose to get along (mind you I'm new at this..we'll see what happens a few years down the line, but the smartest examples of happy marrigaes I've seen are ones where the response is, "yes dear", even if she doesn't actually do whatever it is, (ya know, make him FEEL like the man). It takes two to argue and fight.

 

[Transformer]

DH's favorite line is ....." when do you ever do anything I say."

 

[Guitarhero]

There's a difference between respecting a decision and obeying a rule like a child.

 

[kmn1980]

Well, I submit. Some stuff my husband doesn't care about (my hair, clothing, etc...) and other stuff we have a meeting of the minds and where there's dissension, he has the final say. It's actually rather freeing.

 

[Godyssey]

My husband is old fashioned and believes that men are superior and that women should obey. I say, yeah, right. That was the way that it worked in his household growing up, but not in ours.

I weigh his decision against mine. Sometimes his seems like the best way to go and sometimes not, which is where my decision comes into play.

To sum it up. I don't agree that any relationship should have one leader. I think that it's best to bounce ideas off of each other and then go with the best one. My husband has submitted to this way of thinking and it works.

If you have a brain in your head. Why on earth would you obey your man and a possible idea that isn't well thought out just for the sake of following????? How would you get anywhere in life? One of the benefits of marriage is that you can work as a team and come up with the best idea that works for you, using 2 heads instead of one.

 

[miss stress]

just depends on wht he wants me to do

 

[MD_Lady]

No. I discuss my plans with him and, if he has an issue, we work on a compromise (he also does the same with me).

 

[JustKiya]

Yes, I obey him.
No, I do what I want to do.
I will let him know what my plans are and we decide together.

All of the above mutually apply to our relationship - sometimes I obey, sometimes he kicks rocks, sometimes he obeys, sometimes I'm kicking rocks, and sometimes we decide together. I can't picture things working out 'better' somehow if we always stuck firmly to one option or another.

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

Hmm...well it depends.

I'll obey if I agree.

 

[Triniwegian]

What is really the BIG distinction between obeying and submitting?

According to the Merriam Webster:

Obey: to follow the commands or guidance of.
Submit: to yield oneself to the authority or will of another.

 

[Tylers-mom]

On some things. If the issue is very important to him and not to me, I do what he says.

If the issue is important to me then I do what I feel is best.

My husband is not like that though. He's pretty laid back.

Same here....

 

[justicefighter1913]

Obey is like I am obligated to do whatever you tell me to do.

Submitting is I willingly yield to your decisions but not beyond my own morals and values (i.e. you don't top what Jesus say).

SO submit yes...obey idk...but im not married so...

I feel you on this....I'm not married either, but I seriously doubt my opinion will change much. I like the idea of marriage as a partnership. I'd like to think that at the end of the day, we are both co-owners in our business (i.e. this marriage), we both have a 50/50 interest in our investment. Therefore, there may be times when his way is best, or my way is best, or we'll have to try to meet in the middle and comproise. There might not be one captain running the ship all of the time. But hell, again, what do I know.

 

[Bmack]

I say it depends too. If I know he is right on and I am not I will.

 

[IntoMyhair]

That's a bit of a hard question to answer in absolutes... it depends on what he's putting his foot down on... in essence.. he never does this.. we have quite an open relationship in which we discuss everything and compromise as is needed.. no one ever puts their foot down.. actually if it's anyone who would put their foot down it would be me.. cause I'm more likely to have issues than he does.. but as I said before we talk about everything...

Could'nt have said it better myself.

 

[Ganjababy]

OBEY? Nope..................