So.....what you think about a 17 yr old........

[Nessa]

So......what do you think about a 17 year old dating a 22 year old????????? And Ladies, please take this in a mature way...

Before you have your opinion's on this:
Please answer my questions,
What are the requirements or attitude you should possess while dating an older man?

What is there to be expected?

Please be RAW with me ladies, I can handle it.....

Thankies...

 

[SilentRuby]

I did. Didn't find anything wrong with it because I was very mature and figured it would be better than dating guys my age. Just make sure they understand you are not some kid and they can't take advantage of you just because you're a few years younger.

The thought of doing something my people probably wouldn't approve of was...exciting

 

[SvelteVelvet]

I have in the past I was 19 and he was 28. It was important to me that he looked at me as a person and not my age..didn't peg me or automatically think he has nothing to learn from me, as I learn from him, about different thing. 22 isn't THAT big of an age gap between a young woman and older man but there is the difference that he is of legal drinking/clubbing age and you aren't..if he's the type that does, may pose an issue. Depends on the maturity level of both individuals and similar life interests and goals.

 

[dlewis]

I was 17 and dating a 22 year old. later became engaged to him. And later ran for my life from his smothering ways. He was a good man though, just wanted to protect me and take care of me.

I think it's all a learning process. I def wasn't as mature as I thought I was. But he def taught me alot and showed me a different life.

Go for it.

 

[Demi27]

I was 16 and dated a 20 year old (yeah yeah. I know).
But we actually were together for a while (after my mom and his realized that there was NOTHING they could do to keep us apart).

I was pretty mature for my age.

The only advice I can give is take it slow and realize that you are dealing with an OLDER man. By that I mean that you need to understand that their "lines" will be smoother than that of a 17 year old. Not that they won't be telling you the truth, but just think before you decide on anything that they ask you (if that makes any sense).

Just be careful.

 

[Ms Red]

Not in the majority but it bothers me.

The 5 year gap would not concern me so much if it was 19 and 24. Or 20 and 25. But 17 and 22? I don't know about that, Nessa. JMO.

If the 17 yr. old is very mature and can handle it, then fine. But if there are any red flags, any doubt at all, then I would be weary.

ETA: Even the 19 and 24 year old scenario bothers me. erplexed

 

[klb120475]

Hey Nessa! Where you been girl? I've been missing you!

 

[Nessa]

Oh hey girl how you been doing? Thanks ladies for your input. I was just asking because I feel like I'm mature for the whole relationship thing, but I feel because there may be such an age gap, that the only thing the man might be expecting is sex. ( I know,MOST men aim for sex) I'm just saying that maybe a 22 year old wouldn't be willing to have a RELATIONSHIP.... But there may be different men that are not into for sex. I figure why should a dude try to have sex with you, when he is going to get sex in the long run(if the relationship is good while it lasts). I just don't understand why men just simply want sex, and that's it......ARrrrghhh, men!


P.S.- Hahaha Pemuny I caught that....

 

[poetist]

The only advice I can give is take it slow and realize that you are dealing with an OLDER man. By that I mean that you need to understand that their "lines" will be smoother than that of a 17 year old.

Agreed. The 5 year age difference is fine when you're 28 and 33 or 30 and 35, but as a teen or early 20 something, those years can make a BIG difference. I was 17 dating a 20/21 year old. We got along well at first, but the fact that he had had so much more experience and more game than I was used, to lead into a situtation where he was controlling me without me even knowing it. I really cared for him and was kinda turned on by the idea that this grown man, who could clearly date grown women, would rather hang with me and take me to the prom.

Long story short, it took a few years for me to look around and realize that his obsessive and controlling behavior was not love. He was taking advantage of my naivete and youth. My mama and friends warned me, but at that time, you couldnt tell me nothin.

However, everyone has a different experience and I wouldnt change mine because the lessons I learned were life changing.

 

[poetist]

I'm just saying that maybe a 22 year old wouldn't be willing to have a RELATIONSHIP.... But there may be different men that are not into for sex. I figure why should a dude try to have sex with you, when he is going to get sex in the long run(if the relationship is good while it lasts). I just don't understand why men just simply want sex, and that's it......ARrrrghhh, men!

You're a smart girl, Nessa. Most men, no matter what the age, would opt for sex over a relationship. You've got to be able to weed out the ones who are in it to get to know you better from the ones who only want the twaddle.

 

[Farida]

Age of consent in your state is....

 

[frostydoll]

Age of consent in your state is....

That's what I was wondering. As a big sister, I wouldn't want my little sister to date a 22 year old guy. No matter how mature the 17 year old is, you're still at a different stage than he is. Example, I graduated high school at 17 and college at 22. I was a totally different person at those ages and dating someone who is at a different stage than you is really difficult, and it can lead to issues. For example, adulthood is just starting for you and you have a lot more learning and growing to do, being with someone older can affect that growth.

Does any of this make sense?

Oh and this is just my opinion.

 

[MissJ]

Nessa, do your parents know about this?

 

[audacious1]

Not in the majority but it bothers me.

The 5 year gap would not concern me so much if it was 19 and 24. Or 20 and 25. But 17 and 22? I don't know about that, Nessa. JMO.

If the 17 yr. old is very mature and can handle it, then fine. But if there are any red flags, any doubt at all, then I would be weary.

ETA: Even the 19 and 24 year old scenario bothers me. erplexed

ITA. There's just something not right about it. I understand that you are mature...but still.

 

[DarkAngell]

I was 18 dating a 27 yr old. In ALOT of ways..i was more mature then he was...or will ever be (sadly ) ...BUT..when it came to dating i was more wet behind the ears and he took advantage of that and led me on for 4 whole yrs...playing on my emotions.

Like someone in here said...they're lines are smoother as they get older so watch out.

After a while..if you feel he's stringing you along, then he probably is. Just becareful thats all.

 

[caligirl]

I was 19 dating a 27 year old. He was a great friend. Just be careful because there are a lot of things you can't do yet that he may try to tempt you into i.e. clubbing, drinking and having sex (if you're a minor).

 

[Lilakoi’s_Sister]

I really wanted to say something when I first read this yesterday but I didn't know how to put it without being harsh and I wanted to see what others wrote. I was surprised by so many people appearing to be ok with this. I'm a pretty liberal person on most topics but this I can't be liberal on. If I had a 17 year old daughter there is no way I would allow her to date a 22 year old. I think your focus should be on your education and figuring out what career path you want to follow. Have you graduated high school yet? Hopefully at 22 he has graduated college or close to graduating, career bound, etc... What could you two possibly have in common? I just think a relationship like this could take your focus away from things that really matter: college, career,
finding yourself. Sorry, JMHO.

 

[seraphinelle]

That 22 year old would have nothing in common with you as far as stages in the career.

Why would a 22 year old want to date a 17 year old anyway? Technically he would be finished or closed to finishing his college education, and you've barely started.

You and him should both find someone your own ages.

Best Wishes.

 

[MiamiHottie]

That 22 year old would have nothing in common with you as far as stages in the career.

Why would a 22 year old want to date a 17 year old anyway? Technically he would be finished or closed to finishing his college education, and you've barely started.

You and him should both find someone your own ages.

Best Wishes.

ITA...when i was 16 I started dating a 20 year old guy. At the time everything was all good but looking back now ( we broke up when I went to college) he was a loser. When i reached 20, I realized why would a guy in his 20s want to date a teenager, when there are so many more mature women out there that have the freedom to do what they want. Maybe he himself is not mature or he can not get someone his own age for whatever reason. You may think your mature and ready but having an older boyfriend matures you before your time.

 

[indigodiva]

I really wanted to say something when I first read this yesterday but I didn't know how to put it without being harsh and I wanted to see what others wrote. I was surprised by so many people appearing to be ok with this. I'm a pretty liberal person on most topics but this I can't be liberal on. If I had a 17 year old daughter there is no way I would allow her to date a 22 year old. I think your focus should be on your education and figuring out what career path you want to follow. Have you graduated high school yet? Hopefully at 22 he has graduated college or close to graduating, career bound, etc... What could you two possibly have in common? I just think a relationship like this could take your focus away from things that really matter: college, career,
finding yourself. Sorry, JMHO.[/quote]

ITA!!!!!

There is a lot of truth in the balance of the life stages. Most ladies can honestly say there is a big difference in the girl they were at 17 and the women they developed into at 22. At 17 I remember feeling like I was the most mature person in the world, and my 20 year old boyfriend at the time felt I was mature too. And things were beautiful for the 2 years we dated...And honestly he was a nice guy, but the person he fell in love with was just embarking on life, and even though I thought I was so mature, I still had a lot of growing and developing to do as a person. Not that I was being wild and crazy, but I mean we all have to grow up and learn more things about who we really are ,, and what we really want out of life...what seemed cool at 17, started getting old, as I got older.

To the OP, I remember being 17/18..I was just starting college and enjoying the freedom of doing my own thing. I'm not trying to spoil your fun or your chance at romance, but you need to be VERY CAREFUL with dating guys older than you. Especially if you are about to start your education and he is about to be finished or has already finished. Being at different places in life usually yields different perspectives about things and sometimes that alone causes major problems...not at first, but as the relationship progresses, it will come out.

One of my biggest regrets was choosing to be in relationships when I was in college. So many people would tell me, oh you should just do your work and have some fun, don't worry about entertaining boyfriends...but I was too busy being "in love" to listen. Focus on YOU! It will make a world of difference!

And that whole issue with older guys and being controlling over someone younger ...especially when when the young lady is still a teenager, its true.

If you still feel that this guy is the one for you, the best advice I can give you is to just be friends right now and just see how things play out. If it is meant for you two to be together, then it will happen one day so take your time. But at least wait until you are 18 to pursue anything serious. Don't get so caught up that you ignore the law. You are still a minor at 17..And your parents can press charges against him.

 

[klb120475]

Oh hey girl how you been doing? Thanks ladies for your input. I was just asking because I feel like I'm mature for the whole relationship thing, but I feel because there may be such an age gap, that the only thing the man might be expecting is sex. ( I know,MOST men aim for sex) I'm just saying that maybe a 22 year old wouldn't be willing to have a RELATIONSHIP.... But there may be different men that are not into for sex. I figure why should a dude try to have sex with you, when he is going to get sex in the long run(if the relationship is good while it lasts). I just don't understand why men just simply want sex, and that's it......ARrrrghhh, men!


P.S.- Hahaha Pemuny I caught that....

I'm good! I'm sure you'll make a wise decision. When I was 17 I dated someone who was about 23.....and yep, he wanted sex. I had to leave him alone because I was not interested in losing my virginity to him.

 

[Finesse]

I am with the ladies that said, Don't do it. The years may not seem like a big deal, but the stages in life are. My daughter is 13 and if she came to me at 17 wanting to date a man in his 20's I would straight shut her down and ask him if he was crazy, stupid or slow for trying to date a minor There are soooo many things that you may want to do that he has already done, so it would seem boring to him....other than sex Sad, but true

 

[Maynard]

That's what I was wondering. As a big sister, I wouldn't want my little sister to date a 22 year old guy. No matter how mature the 17 year old is, you're still at a different stage than he is. Example, I graduated high school at 17 and college at 22. I was a totally different person at those ages and dating someone who is at a different stage than you is really difficult, and it can lead to issues. For example, adulthood is just starting for you and you have a lot more learning and growing to do, being with someone older can affect that growth.

Does any of this make sense?

Oh and this is just my opinion.

IA with this. Are you planning on going to college? I would hate for him to hinder that. Lots of girls fall in love and wont go pursue their dreams b/c of some guy. I understand that it is appealling to know that an older man wants you, but even with that short amount of age difference, he has loads of more experience than a 17 year old would have, no matter how mature they think they are.

To take off of UMBB, this is just my opinion...

 

[Maynard]

I am with the ladies that said, Don't do it. The years may not seem like a big deal, but the stages in life are. My daughter is 13 and if she came to me at 17 wanting to date a man in his 20's I would straight shut her down and ask him if he was crazy, stupid or slow for trying to date a minor There are soooo many things that you may want to do that he has already done, so it would seem boring to him....other than sex Sad, but true

That's exactly what my Mom said to me.

Is he slow?
Why doesnt he date girls his own age?
There must be something wrong with him, that girls his own age dont want him, if he's so great...

 

[jaiku]

Well I met a guy when I was at my college freshman orientation. I was 17 and he was 24. Dude was sweating me hard. He was in grad school and working for a local politician. I was about to go to undergrad. He was cute, kind and considerate BUT all I can think of is why would a MAN who had accomplished so much already want to date a GIRL. I’m sorry but I knew I was not on his level and was not prepared to be inb a relationship with a grown Man. So I left that alone.

Basically, I would recommend you analyze the situation and determine what he really wants from you and determine are you willing to provide what he wants.

 

[deltagyrl]

Why is 22 year old interested in a minor? Disgusting. I think it's a bad idea but if you proceed be VERY careful.

 

[lexi08]

I think this is a bad idea, you are a minor. There is a big difference between 17 and 22 year olds.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

So......what do you think about a 17 year old dating a 22 year old????????? And Ladies, please take this in a mature way...

I think it's straight game being run.

What are the requirements or attitude you should possess while dating an older man? An older woman friend who can break down the game dude is trying to run on you.

What is there to be expected?
You are new unconqured booty, there will be an expectation for you to be sexually active when HE is ready as opposed to when you are.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nessa, please answer your auntie JCoily some questions

1. Does Mr. 22, yr old have any kids?
2.Has Mr. 22 yr old had/have/looking like he will have ANY type of criminal record/activities?

 

[Farida]

Regardless of how innocent his intentions are and how mature you are, I would not be okay with a man trying to date a minor. It would raise a lot of questions in my mind. If he really is that in to you he should just wait one more year. It will be less complicated.

I was pretty mature in my thought process when I was 17, and I don't think my mind has changed that much - that is the way I think. What has changed a lot it how much I know about men and relationships and most men I know would not be caught dead dating a minor.

I met a 27 -year old when I was 15 and we were good friends, but he was a really nice guy and the moment he found out my age, even though he didn't try to have sex with me, he told me to call him when I was 18. That's the noble thing to do.

whatever you choose to do be smart about it. Don't have sex with him and if you still live at home please honor your parents/guardian(s)' opinions/rules about the issue.

 

[Nicole1976]

He will be expecting things from you that you may not be ready for.

It is primarily upto you to evaluate his true intentions.

My main advice is to wait...wait....wait....