so i went to jail
- Thread starter bamachic08
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Duchesse
Well-Known Member
Do you live together? Do you have close female family members or friends who you can stay with? My heart is breaking for you and your children. It pains me to hear about women enduring abuse -physical/emotional, from men. I hope you have someone or someplace to reach out to.
Please listen to the women who have offered you advice. God bless you.
Love for self is KEY.
Please listen to the women who have offered you advice. God bless you.
Love for self is KEY.
i know i thought somebody dun got the beatdown over a bad relaxer or somethin and went to the clank-clank!
blue_flower
Well-Known Member
Please don't go back to this guy! He's a liar and an abuser. He beat you and the next thing he'll do is kill you. As much as I hate to say this, if I were in your shoes I would end the pregnancy. I wouldn't want any kind of connection to this guy. It'll be just more abuse in the future. What if he kidnaps or abuses your child? What if he feels like dropping by your place and kidnapping your kid? What if he lies to court and makes it seem like your a bad mother and try to get custody? It's just going to be more pain and drama. MOVE ON!
Keshieshimmer
Active Member
Any person who respects themselves would never contact this type of person. Please delete his number and move to a safe place. They should have a women's shelter in the area.
You are a young woman, definitely too young to be dealing with this nonsense. But even more importantly, you DD should not have to suffer the negative consequences of your decisions. She should be able to feel safe and secure in her own home.
You have to take your emotions out of the situation - your heart can betray you. You need to use your head.
You have to take your emotions out of the situation - your heart can betray you. You need to use your head.
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spelmanlocks
Well-Known Member
A man doing things like this will probably kill you soon. If you don't get out your children may end up having no mother, worse he might come after your kids. In high school we had a girl whose boyfriend beat her and when he found out she was pregant he set her on fire and she died. So please don't take this lightly OP, because your life could end in a blink over some no good man.
You say you have no family or friends, then you need to locate a women's shelter asap.
You say you have no family or friends, then you need to locate a women's shelter asap.
DaDragonPrincess
Well-Known Member
ARE YOU SERIOUS
Is a man and sex that important over your safety and your kids safety and life?
If you stay around and let you and your kids go through this, then your crazy...
I hate seeing beautiful women like you let a no good trashy man drag them through the mud...
Do you not have any type of VALUE for yourself.
Your focus should be your kids and yourself, not some man.
You need to log off LHCF and contact these battered women hotlines.
Ballerina_Bun
Well-Known Member
Keep Him Out Of Your Life… Don’t Look back!
Restraining Order!
Please speak to a counselor or a therapist that specializes in domestic violence/ battered women. You have to leave this situation before it has you so lost that you don’t know who you are anymore. That WILL happen if you keep him in your life.
It sounds like he has been assaulting verbally for quite some time. Now, he’s doing it physically. I keep seeing the word anger popping up concerning him. Believe people when they tell you who they are. He’s telling you that he has anger issues AND he’s showing you.
Some of it sounds like mind control too, if you want to call it that. He keeps putting you down. He probably wants you to feel so bad about yourself that you do not leave him for someone else . . . thinking that if he puts you down enough, you will feel so bad about yourself, that you don’t deserve or can’t get anyone but him.
Leaving is sometimes the hardest part. But later, when you have your life and sense of self back, you will look back and be glad that you left. You have to start doing some things to build yourself back up... making decision that support YOUR self worth is of utmost importance right now! Your children/babies need a strong mother. When you build yourself back up, you will be doing the same for them.
Restraining Order!
Please speak to a counselor or a therapist that specializes in domestic violence/ battered women. You have to leave this situation before it has you so lost that you don’t know who you are anymore. That WILL happen if you keep him in your life.
It sounds like he has been assaulting verbally for quite some time. Now, he’s doing it physically. I keep seeing the word anger popping up concerning him. Believe people when they tell you who they are. He’s telling you that he has anger issues AND he’s showing you.
Some of it sounds like mind control too, if you want to call it that. He keeps putting you down. He probably wants you to feel so bad about yourself that you do not leave him for someone else . . . thinking that if he puts you down enough, you will feel so bad about yourself, that you don’t deserve or can’t get anyone but him.
Leaving is sometimes the hardest part. But later, when you have your life and sense of self back, you will look back and be glad that you left. You have to start doing some things to build yourself back up... making decision that support YOUR self worth is of utmost importance right now! Your children/babies need a strong mother. When you build yourself back up, you will be doing the same for them.
DaDragonPrincess
Well-Known Member
....
mzsophisticated26
New Member
Oh my goodness mama u need to take u and ur children and find a safe house he seems like he wont stop at nothing...wtf punching u until he is tired...lawd please contact someone
NikkiGirl
Well-Known Member
You don't deserve this. No one deserves this. Move on. It will be hard, but this won't stop it will get worse. Think of the child. If he is doing this to you, what will he do to the child when he gets upset and what if you never get to have the child because of his beatings. It is your right to choose (having the child), but either way don't take this. Please move on.
gissellr78
New Member
OP this man has given you clear signs that he does not love you never will and if you do not get out of this relationship he will kill you. The same thing happened in my family and she is now 6" under.
Run don't walk. Move on, life goes on. Love yourself FIRST!
Good luck
Run don't walk. Move on, life goes on. Love yourself FIRST!
Good luck
WAVES4DAYS
New Member
HE IS NOT A MAN!!!!!!! A MAN WOULDN'T TREAT HIS WOMAN LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!
OP... it seems like you are looking for love, but in all the wrong places. You first must learn to love yourself. Once you do that... you won't settle for anything less.
It's imperative that you get yourself together, so that you can be there for your children. You don't want what happened to you... to happen to them.
I'll keep you & your children in my prayers.
OP... it seems like you are looking for love, but in all the wrong places. You first must learn to love yourself. Once you do that... you won't settle for anything less.
It's imperative that you get yourself together, so that you can be there for your children. You don't want what happened to you... to happen to them.
I'll keep you & your children in my prayers.
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zioninspiresme
New Member
OP are you taking ANY of this in??? REALLY???
These ladies have left an abundance of great advice for you. Have you picked up the phone yet to call the HOTLINE??
You are coming up with these excuses of why you stayed with him, but you said yourself you barely knew him? You still don't know him evidently. Get away and stay away. Something is just not clicking upstairs if you still want him.
You and your children deserve BETTER.
You are BEAUTIFUL. God loves you.
Best wishes OP.
These ladies have left an abundance of great advice for you. Have you picked up the phone yet to call the HOTLINE??
You are coming up with these excuses of why you stayed with him, but you said yourself you barely knew him? You still don't know him evidently. Get away and stay away. Something is just not clicking upstairs if you still want him.
You and your children deserve BETTER.
You are BEAUTIFUL. God loves you.
Best wishes OP.
DaDragonPrincess
Well-Known Member
Girl I just looked at your pictures on your profile, and your beautiful, theres nothing wrong with you,theres something wrong with that clown.
You are a queen and he is not king status, dump that wimp.
Focus on loving yourself and keeping yourself and kids safe.
You are a queen and he is not king status, dump that wimp.
Focus on loving yourself and keeping yourself and kids safe.
BostonMaria
Well-Known Member
First of all I'm so sorry.
If he beat you like that he'll beat your child too. I'm sorry for all that you've been through. I can tell you right now that you will probably have to raise this baby by yourself. I'm sure you won't want to have this man near the baby anyway.
If he beat you like that he'll beat your child too. I'm sorry for all that you've been through. I can tell you right now that you will probably have to raise this baby by yourself. I'm sure you won't want to have this man near the baby anyway.
bamachic08
New Member
I'm not the type to seek pity.I just felt like getting this off my chest.its hard on me.I've lost my appetite so when he see me in court in august I may not be that fat b anymore ya know.I'm def making an appointment at the clinic for women.I'm not sure how I still love him but I gotta fight this thing in my head saying to hold onto him.I feel so lost.I'm done talking.thank you for listening.
SouthernBeauty
Well-Known Member
I sent you a pm before I read all of this! It seems that you dont know this isnt love bc you have never been around someone who really loved you! So you are searching for it anywhere! Please believe me when I say he does not love you!
He probably is the reason why you dont have any friends! I had an abusive ex and he didnt want me to have friends and he didnt want me around my family! So all I did was sit around him and when I was ready to leave I didnt think my family would be there! Thank God they were... and I am praying there is someone out there for you!
kmn1980
Emoticons don't affect me
He did this because he's an abusive manipulator. He's manipulated you and he did it to the cops and the judge and he will keep doing it.
You have nothing else to say to him directly for now. Matter of fact, I wouldn't even tell him about the pregnancy until the DV cases are disposed of but make sure you let your attorney know you are expecting. Rest assured that any contact you have with him will be used to either manipulate you into staying with him and/or exaggerated once he gets back in court to make you look like Lynn Whitfield in A Thin Line Between Love and Hate.
I wish you luck but even more I wish you wisdom.
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Crystal
Well-Known Member
Wow... this is one of the most tragic threads I've ever read on this board.
But in the end, I'm going to save my keystrokes. What I think you should do and what you're more than likely going to do are probably not the same.
So I'm just going to say good luck to you and if you can't put yourself first, put your three kids first and please quickly find a healthy dose of self-esteem. Ain't no dick that good.
But in the end, I'm going to save my keystrokes. What I think you should do and what you're more than likely going to do are probably not the same.
So I'm just going to say good luck to you and if you can't put yourself first, put your three kids first and please quickly find a healthy dose of self-esteem. Ain't no dick that good.
JJamiah
Well-Known Member
From experience I know you will only leave when your ready.
What made me leave my situation was first off I had to pick up a Mistic bottle and crack him upside his head---- I am not violent like that. So it made me act out of my character. THen my 2 year old son saw him shove me. So then I was like wait.....
What if My son does this to a woman and I tell him not to and he turns to me at 16 or 21 and laugh at me and go who are you to talk, you let it happen so obviously there must not have been an issue. I left. I had to set an example for my 2 boys at that time. I never looked back! NEVER!
He was verbally and physically abusive. Made fun of my health *that was low; told me no one would want me with my 2 kids and how I was his only shot.
LOL, I married my best friend knew him since I was 17 and been married 7 years plus. SO GET OUT NOW! no pity party's get out! forget what you might not have and think about what you will have. Your kids and your own self respect!
What made me leave my situation was first off I had to pick up a Mistic bottle and crack him upside his head---- I am not violent like that. So it made me act out of my character. THen my 2 year old son saw him shove me. So then I was like wait.....
What if My son does this to a woman and I tell him not to and he turns to me at 16 or 21 and laugh at me and go who are you to talk, you let it happen so obviously there must not have been an issue. I left. I had to set an example for my 2 boys at that time. I never looked back! NEVER!
He was verbally and physically abusive. Made fun of my health *that was low; told me no one would want me with my 2 kids and how I was his only shot.
LOL, I married my best friend knew him since I was 17 and been married 7 years plus. SO GET OUT NOW! no pity party's get out! forget what you might not have and think about what you will have. Your kids and your own self respect!
HairBarbie
Well-Known Member
I'm angry that you care more about this useless worthless bastard that is lower than the dirt on the bottom of my shoes and you actually put him and his needs above your own children your flesh and blood.
You willingly put your own children in danger so that you can continue dating this piece of crap. I feel the most sorry for your children, they deserve better. They need someone that cares enough about them to make them a priority. I would suggest putting them in another place while you get your self together. It's pretty obvious that you will go back to the worthless bastard and once again put your children at risk and in harms way.
You need to get yourself together and if not for you then for your kids. They deserve better than what you are giving them and considering the fact that they already don't have a father in their life, all they have is you and what you're giving them is not nearly enough, they are already heavily affected by your drama and bs. I would suggest getting counseling for your kids before they become like you and that worthless bastard you call a bf.
OP please when you decide to go back to the worthless bastard, please put your children up for adoption, they deserve to live in a home in which they have a fighting chance at life and don't have to worry about when their mom's bf is going to kill her.
You willingly put your own children in danger so that you can continue dating this piece of crap. I feel the most sorry for your children, they deserve better. They need someone that cares enough about them to make them a priority. I would suggest putting them in another place while you get your self together. It's pretty obvious that you will go back to the worthless bastard and once again put your children at risk and in harms way.
You need to get yourself together and if not for you then for your kids. They deserve better than what you are giving them and considering the fact that they already don't have a father in their life, all they have is you and what you're giving them is not nearly enough, they are already heavily affected by your drama and bs. I would suggest getting counseling for your kids before they become like you and that worthless bastard you call a bf.
OP please when you decide to go back to the worthless bastard, please put your children up for adoption, they deserve to live in a home in which they have a fighting chance at life and don't have to worry about when their mom's bf is going to kill her.
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justicefighter1913
New Member
I agree with you getting a restraining order.He could come to your job after work and mess with you.
Yes get a restraining order. Obviously you'll want to pursue a more permanent restraining order, but at least you can start off with a temporary restraining orders. He doesn't have to be present at the temporary hearing in order for one to be granted, but he'll be notified that you are pursuing this avenue. At least with the TRO, you'll be able to get back into your home and get your stuff w/ a police escort there.
DaDragonPrincess
Well-Known Member
Oh, sweetie pie. My heart goes out to you. He has some major issues which causes him to act this way with no remorse.
You have some emotional issues as well, which is why you are allowing it to happen. You may feel like you have to hold on, and that is a feeling that you have to let PASS. It doesnt mean that it is true.
Your loneliness and hurt allowed you to love someone who doesnt love or respect you as a human being, let alone a woman.
It's ok to love someone, but its not ok to put yourself in an unhealthy predicament. Eventually time will heal your heart, you just have to let it. You cant go back to him seeking immediate gratification because that immediate gratification is disception. (kind of like a crack addiction; things only get progressively worse)
You have to let time pass. It will be hard being pregnant, but if you decide to keep this little one, he/she does not deserve to lose his/her life before it starts (he could beat you and the baby to death).
May God bless you and give you strength in this difficult time. You need it for you AND your kids. You are an example for your daughter and if this is what she witnesses (especially if you dont allow yourself to come out of it) she will percieve it as normal and fall into a similar situation instead of running the other way.
I will say a prayer for you
You have some emotional issues as well, which is why you are allowing it to happen. You may feel like you have to hold on, and that is a feeling that you have to let PASS. It doesnt mean that it is true.
Your loneliness and hurt allowed you to love someone who doesnt love or respect you as a human being, let alone a woman.
It's ok to love someone, but its not ok to put yourself in an unhealthy predicament. Eventually time will heal your heart, you just have to let it. You cant go back to him seeking immediate gratification because that immediate gratification is disception. (kind of like a crack addiction; things only get progressively worse)
You have to let time pass. It will be hard being pregnant, but if you decide to keep this little one, he/she does not deserve to lose his/her life before it starts (he could beat you and the baby to death).
May God bless you and give you strength in this difficult time. You need it for you AND your kids. You are an example for your daughter and if this is what she witnesses (especially if you dont allow yourself to come out of it) she will percieve it as normal and fall into a similar situation instead of running the other way.
I will say a prayer for you
If you want to reach someone experiencing emotional trauma, you have to do it empathetically and with love. She has had enough negativity. Pray for her instead
Sweetie, you need to start formulating a serious game plan for a better life.
Since the school year will end this week, you will need to find a way to hold out until your kids are out of school. However, in the interim, do as others have suggested and contact a local domestic violence agency because they are best able to equip you with the tools and resources you will need to start rebuilding your life (ask a court clerk for some DV information, too. Not only will it better buttress your claims of being a domestic violence victim, but they are privy to a wealth of information on that subject given their occupation). Also, make your employer aware of what has been occurring so that they can take the proper steps in ensuring your safety within that domain. The next steps of your plan should entail relocating, either to another area or state; and to that end, ask your employer about transfer possibilities. It would also be a good idea for you to notify your landlord of the gravity of the situation, as well as the need for a hasty departure.
Throughout all of this, I want you to remember one thing - if you do not feel strong enough to leave him for yourself, then please DO SO FOR YOUR CHILDREN'S SAKE. Your daughter is already exhibiting signs of trauma; you do not want to further burden your children's psychological well-being by having them endure further torment. You must, for their sake, face the fact that this "man" is no good for you and your children and is having a negative impact upon you all, and leave ASAP.
And, whatever your plans, please be sure to make your leaving secret until the very last minute. Since he appears to have an explosive temperment and an inability to exercise self-control, you don't want to do anything that will escalate matters (and by all means, sever all contact with him).
Be safe and I wish you all well!
Since the school year will end this week, you will need to find a way to hold out until your kids are out of school. However, in the interim, do as others have suggested and contact a local domestic violence agency because they are best able to equip you with the tools and resources you will need to start rebuilding your life (ask a court clerk for some DV information, too. Not only will it better buttress your claims of being a domestic violence victim, but they are privy to a wealth of information on that subject given their occupation). Also, make your employer aware of what has been occurring so that they can take the proper steps in ensuring your safety within that domain. The next steps of your plan should entail relocating, either to another area or state; and to that end, ask your employer about transfer possibilities. It would also be a good idea for you to notify your landlord of the gravity of the situation, as well as the need for a hasty departure.
Throughout all of this, I want you to remember one thing - if you do not feel strong enough to leave him for yourself, then please DO SO FOR YOUR CHILDREN'S SAKE. Your daughter is already exhibiting signs of trauma; you do not want to further burden your children's psychological well-being by having them endure further torment. You must, for their sake, face the fact that this "man" is no good for you and your children and is having a negative impact upon you all, and leave ASAP.
And, whatever your plans, please be sure to make your leaving secret until the very last minute. Since he appears to have an explosive temperment and an inability to exercise self-control, you don't want to do anything that will escalate matters (and by all means, sever all contact with him).
Be safe and I wish you all well!
TamedTresses
Well-Known Member
for you OP.
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