so i went to jail

[BlackMasterPiece]

Bamachic I say this with the utmost respect, I really think you need to speak to a counselor at a battered women's shealter. There seems to be a pattern here, there is no reason for you to be consulting with a plastic surgeon to change your nose because he doesn't like it....and you deserve better then the kind of men you have had in your life.

Please, please please talk to a counselor at a battered women's shealtor, you can just walk in and they keep things anonymous

 

[Fifty&Fab]

Dear, I think you really need to take some time and learn how to truly love and appreciate yourself. Focus on building up yourself and being a good role model for your children.

Yes I'm getting an abortion.I have three kids by another man.he went to prison 16 mo ago.I met this guy last spring.we fell in love fast I guess.I ddnt know much about him.we the same age (25).he just eight days older than me.however this year he became very controlling and irate.I am not sure the exact cause but he started insulting me bad and treating me like a child.like literally tell me to shut the f up so he can control our conversations.I started getting plastic surgery consults to get a nose job bc he hates my nose.he said don't no one want me with a long nose like mine.plus I gained thirty pounds in a year.I have lost ten recently.he claimed he don't mean the things he say bc I look good.....but soon as he get mad its back to the fat ugly biatches.he started saying these things around other people and I'm embarrassed.I justt feel like he is better than nothing at all.I be thinking maybe I'm not an attractive person bc my nose is big.I don't want to hear someone else say the same thing.I'm used to him so I can just fix the flaws

 

[changingSeasons]

I am sorry, you are going through this, You and your child Do not Deserve Any Abuse. From just you wrote, its Emotional and Physical Abuse.

You will need support to get through this, is there a Crisis Center, Domestic Violence or Rape care center in your area that you can contact?

Please take care of yourself.

 

[comike]

Yes I'm getting an abortion.I have three kids by another man.he went to prison 16 mo ago.I met this guy last spring.we fell in love fast I guess.I ddnt know much about him.we the same age (25).he just eight days older than me.however this year he became very controlling and irate.I am not sure the exact cause but he started insulting me bad and treating me like a child.like literally tell me to shut the f up so he can control our conversations.I started getting plastic surgery consults to get a nose job bc he hates my nose.he said don't no one want me with a long nose like mine.plus I gained thirty pounds in a year.I have lost ten recently.he claimed he don't mean the things he say bc I look good.....but soon as he get mad its back to the fat ugly biatches.he started saying these things around other people and I'm embarrassed.I justt feel like he is better than nothing at all.I be thinking maybe I'm not an attractive person bc my nose is big.I don't want to hear someone else say the same thing.I'm used to him so I can just fix the flaws

Do you have a pastor or someone to talk to? From what you state above, you sound like you have some self-esteem issues. I'm sure you're an attractive girl. If your nose was such a problem for him, why did he start dating you. Clearly, you should recognize that this man means you no good at all. Your children should be your first and only priority and not him. I pray that your children aren't around when this abuse takes place. You should place your focus on them and what they need and leave this man alone.

 

[DaDragonPrincess]

Yes I'm getting an abortion.I have three kids by another man.he went to prison 16 mo ago.I met this guy last spring.we fell in love fast I guess.I ddnt know much about him.we the same age (25).he just eight days older than me.however this year he became very controlling and irate.I am not sure the exact cause but he started insulting me bad and treating me like a child.like literally tell me to shut the f up so he can control our conversations.I started getting plastic surgery consults to get a nose job bc he hates my nose.he said don't no one want me with a long nose like mine.plus I gained thirty pounds in a year.I have lost ten recently.he claimed he don't mean the things he say bc I look good.....but soon as he get mad its back to the fat ugly biatches.he started saying these things around other people and I'm embarrassed.I justt feel like he is better than nothing at all.I be thinking maybe I'm not an attractive person bc my nose is big.I don't want to hear someone else say the same thing.I know I need to move on.I sat in jail twelve hours in pain.I know it isn't worth all this.

Check your PM now,call me, this is crazy. You let that trash tear you down? You are BEAUTIFUL you hear me?

Don't get no type of work done, love the body you in, what he don't love and cherish some other man will.

You are worth more then that trash make you feel less of.

STAY AWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY from that trash,don't SETTLE.

Keep your baby,don't murder it, get full custidy of the baby, tell the judge that man abused you mentally and physically...

PLEASE STAND UP NOW.AND LEAVE

 

[doriannc]

OP, I suggest you go to my profile and read some of my earlier threads about my abusive ex. I got rid of him, and that toxic lifestyle and never looked back. Leaving is the hardest but best. If you need help there are women's shelters in your area that will help you leave if you do not have any friends or family. But please leave, we don't want you to become a statistic.

 

[Dposh167]

honey you don't need lhcf....u need to talk to someone to help you get outta your situation first. And then u need to talk a professional. ASAP. that's real talk

 

[Ms Lala]

You cannot try to rationalize foolishness. You are looking for reasons to explain behavior that deserves no explanation. I suggest you contact the National Domestic Violence hotline 1−800−799−SAFE(7233).

This is not the time to let your guard down w/him. Get away and get safe. Next time the violence will be worse. I have worked with many domestic violence cases and some of them have ended up in the loss of life.

I urge you to get help. Take time to heal physically, mentally, and emotionally. Many women who are in violent relationships select the same type of man again. Go to counseling and learn the pattern, learn about yourself, before you pursue another relationship.

You sound like you are isolated. If you have family and friends you can trust I would suggest moving near them for support. If your family is more dysfunctional or has serious issues many of the safe houses and domestic violence programs offer support groups and the help of counselors, case workers, and women who have been through similar situations.

Don't continue to be a victim. You control what you do next. Make the decision to save your life and leave. Do not continue this cycle of violence. It may be hard to leave but you can do it.
​

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Your battered women's shelter will have the ability to give you help with: legal advice, housing, food and clothes for you and your kids should you need it, and counseling. If they can't get all those things for you they can tell you where and who can. Please. Your kids have already been hurt just by seeing you be hurt. Don't let it continue a day longer than needed. Just check the phonebook and you'll find domestic violence resources that can really help you.

 

[LovingLady]

I will be your friend. Stop talking to that fool. Never see that man alone ever again, if you need to see him make sure to have a family member with you or you have to be in a very public area. If he gets too close for comfort, get a restraining order.

Do NOT go back to him, he does not love you. I know that hurts but think about it, a man is suppose to love you more than he loves himself, the way Jesus loves the church. He is suppose to honor and respect you, lifting you up not keeping you under his thumb. If you need help or support turn to a family member. If you want someone to cry too, I am here for you. Right now I want you to read this thread in the relationship section. Deserving Better. I will be praying for you.

 

[Austro-Afrikana]

You DO NOT need this man in your life. You need to seriously consider what to do about this baby...if you keep it then he has a reason to hang around

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

"I justt feel like he is better than nothing at all."


Girl, come on now. It's up to you now. You've got to make the choice. Everything has been presented to you outright and now you're the jury who has to make the final decision. If you stay with him you die-if not a physical death then def. a spiritual and emotional one. If you leave you have a chance at life for you and your children.

 

[bamachic08]

My children have witnessed the arguing.cps contacted me in jan bc my six yr old was having nervous breakdowns in school.she was in kindergarden.her teacher called me and asked about my home.cps told me my dd said she was upset bc I cry when he comes over.this wkend is the first time he struck me.however its about the hundredth time he has insulted me.so yes my kids kinda bare witness to the verbal abuse.what bothers me is the guy that was there didn't mind watching him beat me.he said man get off her then went outside on the porch.he was foul bc he lied for him and he had never met me prior to this incident.I'm shocked at how people treat strangers.his woman had threw him out the house so he apparently beat women too.

 

[Tiye]

So sorry to hear about this but no I would not call him right now. And don't go back to the house. You need professional counseling asap so in your shoes I'd call the domestic violence hotline. Tell them you need to talk to someone - they should be able to give you a referral to a resource that can help you.

 

[Tolle]

My heart sank for you after reading your op. Please know that no one deserves to feel like you do right now. I don't have much to say but please PM me if you feel the need to talk. (((hugs))).

 

[Qualitee]

My children have witnessed the arguing.cps contacted me in jan bc my six yr old was having nervous breakdowns in school.she was in kindergarden.her teacher called me and asked about my home.cps told me my dd said she was upset bc I cry when he comes over.this wkend is the first time he struck me.however its about the hundredth time he has insulted me.so yes my kids kinda bare witness to the verbal abuse.what bothers me is the guy that was there didn't mind watching him beat me.he said man get off her then went outside on the porch.he was foul bc he lied for him and he had never met me prior to this incident.I'm shocked at how people treat strangers.his woman had threw him out the house so he apparently beat women too.

aaaawwww poor baby That right there should have been the sign for you to leave. Not judging you. but why did you stay? Are you afraid to be alone?

 

[MrsHdrLe]

I didn't read through carefully, but can you go home? Get a restraining order (it'll keep YOU away from him too), contact a faily memeber (hopefully in another state or very far away), make sure you go unlisted across the board, PLEASE CNTACT DADRAGONPRINCESS RIGHT NOW!!!! She's been given you by God to help you get out, DON'T PASS ON THIS OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU AND YOUR FUTURE!!!

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

My children have witnessed the arguing.cps contacted me in jan bc my six yr old was having nervous breakdowns in school.she was in kindergarden.her teacher called me and asked about my home.cps told me my dd said she was upset bc I cry when he comes over.this wkend is the first time he struck me.however its about the hundredth time he has insulted me.so yes my kids kinda bare witness to the verbal abuse.what bothers me is the guy that was there didn't mind watching him beat me.he said man get off her then went outside on the porch.he was foul bc he lied for him and he had never met me prior to this incident.I'm shocked at how people treat strangers.his woman had threw him out the house so he apparently beat women too.

NO!!! I am a teacher and once we get involved it is not good. STAND UP GIRL!!!!!!! Don't do this to your kids...it's on you.

 

[Mortons]

Are you willing to lose your children for dealing with low lifes? If not GET OUT NOW. Maybe you should look for a new job in another town, or something to get away from the situation and people you are near. You and your kids deserve better.

 

[pookaloo83]

I agree with you getting a restraining order. He could come to your job after work and mess with you.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Yes I'm getting an abortion.I have three kids by another man.he went to prison 16 mo ago.I met this guy last spring.we fell in love fast I guess.I ddnt know much about him.we the same age (25).he just eight days older than me.however this year he became very controlling and irate.I am not sure the exact cause but he started insulting me bad and treating me like a child.like literally tell me to shut the f up so he can control our conversations.I started getting plastic surgery consults to get a nose job bc he hates my nose.he said don't no one want me with a long nose like mine.plus I gained thirty pounds in a year.I have lost ten recently.he claimed he don't mean the things he say bc I look good.....but soon as he get mad its back to the fat ugly biatches.he started saying these things around other people and I'm embarrassed.I justt feel like he is better than nothing at all.I be thinking maybe I'm not an attractive person bc my nose is big.I don't want to hear someone else say the same thing.I know I need to move on.I sat in jail twelve hours in pain.I know it isn't worth all this.

You're pregnant! I hate when men bash women on their looks. What does he look like? You are the classic abused woman. Sorry, but you can do better with nothing. At least you won't have any physical and emotional scars! As far as abortions go, you may want to consider the life growing inside you. Why end its life because of this trifling man?...Sorry. None of my business. I just wish you the best. You remind me of my cousin who was in your same position, except she had 5 kids by age 25. We had to rescue her from her abusive relationship. The emotional pain is also shared by your children. My cousin did not have any confidence in herself, either. She thought she was the ugly and that's why he hit her. Please get yourself somewhere safe. I will be praying for you.

 

[tsvelte]

First, RUN and STAY away from him. An abusive relationship doesn't get better, it will only get worse. I know, I've been there. It may hurt at first to walk away from him, but it will get easier. One day you'll look back and wonder what took you so long to get on with your life. Don't fool yourself thinking this person cares for you. A man who cares would never have put physically or mentally abuse you. You must protect yourself, preserve your life and your children's lives. Life is already short enough as it is, don't take the risk of thinking he will change and lose yours in the process.

Change your phone number, unlist your name from the directory, call family members, get a restraining order, get a new job, move if necessary. Do whatever it takes to move forward and don't look back.

 

[DaDragonPrincess]

I didn't read through carefully, but can you go home? Get a restraining order (it'll keep YOU away from him too), contact a faily memeber (hopefully in another state or very far away), make sure you go unlisted across the board, PLEASE CNTACT DADRAGONPRINCESS RIGHT NOW!!!! She's been given you by God to help you get out, DON'T PASS ON THIS OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU AND YOUR FUTURE!!!

I know people that went through this, I almost went through, Luckly people told me what type of guy he was before I fell deep, it was a guy I had a crush on since I was a kid and he a older guy.

I gave her my number to give my support and comfort to her, this is sad.

 

[Hairsofab]

Everyone has given good advice. Its obvious this loser has zero respect for you. Even if you don't care about your own feelings or body or don't know how to...please think of your children. The hear and pick up everything. Its not fair to them to be caught up in violence, verbal abuse and general drama.

 

[Kash]

hold up...y is this in the hair forum???erplexed

 

[BellaLunie]

OP you need to leave him alone. I know it's easier said than done trust me. If not for you then for your kids. WHat if he attacks one of them?! I work in the ER and see this all the time. Please get out!!!!!!!

 

[comike]

hold up...y is this in the hair forum???erplexed

I was thinking the same thing when I say the title of the thread before coming in. I thought maybe someone had stolen some hair products.....that $50 conditioner someone was eyeing.

 

[DaDragonPrincess]

I was thinking the same thing when I say the title of the thread before coming in. I thought maybe someone had stolen some hair products.....that $50 conditioner someone was eyeing.

......................

 

[bamachic08]

Sorry if I confuse you but I have my own home.he lives in the city and I live in the county.i dont have family here.I am estranged from mine bc they let the state raise me from the time I was an infant.my kids dad family is here.that's who bailed me out.however they don't want to hear me talk about another man.like I said I don't have friends.I kinda get a man and stay to myself....and to him too.I am on here venting bc of that reason.I just want to get it out bc I'm hurt.

 

[Dposh167]

he was foul bc he lied for him and he had never met me prior to this incident.I'm shocked at how people treat strangers.

you're shocked at how the friend acted towards your man putting his hands on you. But you do nothing for yourself when he beats/insults you? u don't leave him...or get the kids and cut off ties with him. c'mon OP. you're smarter than this