so i went to jail

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bamachic08

bamachic08

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Ok ladies I have to get this out.right now I feel confused.my man and I been having some serious problems.we do good for a few days then he would find something wrong.it felt like an emotional roller coaster.one minute I'm the happiest woman alive and the next I'm in tears bc he is pounding on me.the things he would become angry about is me not returning his phone call and me texting instead.to him those were signs of cheating.he often blow up at me and call me fat ugly biatches.there were times he just kicked me straight in my heart with the insults.I always asked what he wanted me for....he claim he just say things out of anger so I let it go everytime.however this weekend things went too far.the usual insultts and arguments stepped up a notch.he insulted me and I stood up for myself or rather spoke up.he went in a rage and choked me and punched me til he was tired.this happened in his house so he decided to play dirty and told a guy that was there sleeping on the couch to call the cops.the entire time he was holding me on the floor in a choke hold.guess as I was prying his hands away I scratched his arms a little.the cops came and interviewed us then talked to the guy witness......the guy figured he could lie for my man and say he ddnt see him beating me like a dog.he told the cops I attacked him.....clearly lying.well the cops could see that I was busted up and immediatly arrested my man.he showed his scratches and they took me too.I got charged with domestic violence harrassment and he was charged with dv assault.we both stayed in jail on a twelve hour hold til we were able to bail out for fifty dollars each.I had to walk three miles to his house to get my car.I went to er afterwards bc I felt weak.the er confirmed I am pregnant after I complained of sharp pains in my abdomen although I was beat in the head.I've texted him and he hasn't said a word back.we both appeared in court this morning to enter our pleas.I got a copy of the report filed against me and aparently he told a few lies about what happened.like he said I just popped up when he told me to come and work it out or move on.I seen him outside of court house with his father and told him he didn't have to lie to cops.I haven't seen or talked to him since.I feel confused bc I still care for him.he was my only friend here although he treated me bad.I'm upset that I'm pregnant.I don't know what to do now.I don't want to text him again.he is capable of lying and I don't need any trouble.but I just want to know why he did all this.would you contact a man if you had these same problems?
 
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OP, run far away from this man. If a man hits you, chokes you, and ignores you when you tell him you're carrying his child, you don't need to listen to anything he has to say. Focus on healing. Focus on you. Let it go.

You said you don't have friends, make friends
If you don't have money, make money

I can't answer the question of whether i'll contact him if i were in your shoes, but I feel bad for you. I'm sorry you had to go through this.

ps: shouldn't this be in OT?
 
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First I would ask a mod to move this to the relationship forum. Next any answer he gives won't be good enough. Think about you and your baby and get help.
 
If a man is beating on you, you need to leave. The past insults were a sign that in the future he will physical abuse you. I dont care what you do. Girl you gotta leave him. Its sad that you are pregnant by him. Now you have to deal with him for the rest of your life. But please leave that man alone. Only deal with him when it pertains to the child. Hes crazy! ((hugs))
 
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Hold up! Hold up! The heck are you texting him for? You need to be more concerned with yourself!

He's ABUSIVE that's why he did it!
 
bamachic08, i am so sorry this happened to you. but please don't contact that man! he's clearly dangerous. you need to worry about your and your baby's safety.

also you may want to ask the mods to move this post to the relationship forum...
 
No. Do not talk with him. This man could have killed you and your unborn child. Please get help for dealing with an abusive relationship.
 
Let him go and like the other poster said run far away.
This abuse doesn't stop it gets worse. Don't settle for someone BEATING YOU! Your a person who doesn't need fist to get your point across that isn't love and you can't help him, he needs help you can't give him. HE is not your friend, sorry I don't need a friend to bust my ***. This is from experience girl, LET HIM GO! Don't let his words of probably I didn't hit you I chocked you make him sound any less abusive!
 
Let it go and move on unless you want to continue with more of the same. I pray you move on.....regardless of how you may "feel" about this man. You couldn't possibly want to be involved with someone that beats up on you physically and abusively. Talk to someone....friends, family...but resist the need to contact him. He sounds a little special....mildy retarded....and dangerous. And, if you decide to go back...you might be a little special too.
 
((((Big Hugs))) Bamachic, you look like an increadibly beautiful woman in your Avi! Please don't let anyone tell you any differently. I'm just going to tell it to you plainly. Please get away from this man. You are worth so much more than this. Get away from him and don't contact him. You don't have to be loud about it, you don't need to go out with a bang, and you don't need a "one last tell off" session. Just get out of there! Don't tell him where you're going or what you plan to do. Show up for your court date of course, but after that's all said and done, wash your hands of this creep.

Be Careful!! Remember that God has so much better for you!
 
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Is this man your husband?? Either way-- get as far away from this monster as you can-and don't look back. Let your family know your situation and get the help you need to close this chapter in your life.

I have a close childhood friend who was killed by her abusive "man" at 25 years old. Your story sounds far too familiar. I hope you leave this alone.
 
He did all of this because he's a nutcase. And no, I wouldn't contact him if I were you. Leave him alone. It's not worth the pain and trouble any longer.
 
You just went to jail for him choking you out. Why are you more concerned about him?:imsorry: You need to get as far away from this abusive loser before he kills you.:nono: Love yourself much more than that. No one deserves the kind of treatment you received! I am very afraid for you. Find yourself somewhere safe to stay so you and your unborn child will be out of danger.
 
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Well, looks like you've got some very important decisions to make. Your life or death depends on what you decide.
 
Do you want this baby? cos then he'd always be in your life


I know i wouldnt.


Please stop contacting him
 
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First --> :bighug:

Second- don't continue to this toxic abusive cycle by communicating with him. File a restraining order and try to put your life together without him. It will be hard but you will be better for it in the long run.

As for your pregnancy? Speaking as someone who's seen DV first hand- your child will not thank you for staying in an abusive relationship. Also you need to protect your unborn child (if you're going to keep it, that's your decision) and I doubt a man who would choke out his woman would have a problem hurting a child.

Sorry you had to go through this.
 
I think I missed the part about you being pregnant. That's even more of a reason to stay away frrom this guy....for the health of you AND your baby. I pray for your well being and that God strengthens you in your weakness and gives you peace.
 
Bamachic I think your first and foremost priority should be you and working on growing as a woman and coming to love yourself. Start going out and making friends.

Whatever you do, stay FAR FAR away from this dude never contact him again, get your stuff move on and do the work you need to do to heal.

As for the pregnancy....ummmm:look: well you definitely have some decisions to make there.
 
SMH I hate seeing women settle for TRASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

RUN and GET away for your life.

Get full custidy of your child when it's born, don't kill it.

ARE YOU SERIOUS, you still love that sick poor trash of a man?


NO MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN should hit,choke and beat a woman.

He is crazy and you crazy if you stick around, be strong and say enough is enough, and RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
 
OP you need therapy. You should contact a battered woman support group. You have put up with this man's assult for so long and you still care about him. You need professional help.
 
Yes I'm getting an abortion.I have three kids by another man.he went to prison 16 mo ago.I met this guy last spring.we fell in love fast I guess.I ddnt know much about him.we the same age (25).he just eight days older than me.however this year he became very controlling and irate.I am not sure the exact cause but he started insulting me bad and treating me like a child.like literally tell me to shut the f up so he can control our conversations.I started getting plastic surgery consults to get a nose job bc he hates my nose.he said don't no one want me with a long nose like mine.plus I gained thirty pounds in a year.I have lost ten recently.he claimed he don't mean the things he say bc I look good.....but soon as he get mad its back to the fat ugly biatches.he started saying these things around other people and I'm embarrassed.I justt feel like he is better than nothing at all.I be thinking maybe I'm not an attractive person bc my nose is big.I don't want to hear someone else say the same thing.I know I need to move on.I sat in jail twelve hours in pain.I know it isn't worth all this.
 
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Op stay away, if you do your feelings will go away.

Seek counseling for your choice after words if you need it . Even if you are pro choice sometimes you have guilty when you do the actual surgery.

Maybe you should take a break from relationships and try to focus on bettering yourself and the kids.

:kiss: and G-d bless you all
 
OP so much I want to say to you.

When you get done reading this thread, read websites about abusive relationships and how men and women act in abusive relationships. There's a good chance you're going to read every post here and still end up rationalizing his behavior and going back to him for whatever reason.

You have to see for yourself what this relationship and pattern of abuse has done to you and the way you think. You're posting like an abused woman - no offense. When you say you still love him even though he "treat you badly"...no he didn't treat you badly. He beat your a-s-s. Nothing about that is okay. Nothing about that is okay. You have to believe that for yourself. This is not acceptable behavior and NO person should have to go through this.

If you choose this have this child or not (and you do have a choice in that) you do not need to be in a relationship with that man. If you have this child and you stay w/ this man, imagine your child seeing what your man's friend pretended not to see.

Imagine your child being called names, being hit, or simply seeing those things happen to you. Imagine someone you love or your little sister in the same type of relationship you're in right now. Be objective....is this what you'd want for them.

What is it that you want for you, OP. What do you want? You don't need to answer me - but ask yourself and be think about your answers.

(((HUGS)))

You're strong enough to get thru this dearheart. You really are. You are more precious than you know. Don't let anyone treat you this way.
 
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