DancingAlison
Active Member
Hello all
So a little over a year ago, I met this amazing man on a dating site. He was a very sweet affectionate Latin man. I usually have all these standards when I date men but he... He just was so kind and opened about his feeling towards me and his situation. He was closing the doors to his restaurant due to it's lack of financial success. Basically we dated briefly, it was revealed to me (by his own mouth) that he was broke. He has two children, he lives with his grandmother, license was suspended due to him not being able to pay child support, his car was broke down, he had no money, just got a new job as a line cook. We went through a lot of ups and downs. Needless to say I realized this man had many flaws. No good with money, not good with handling his bills/responsibilities, has a resentful nature, plays around too much, accountability issues, brokenness from his past relationships/family, loses focus etc... However this man was loving, kinda, affectionate, happy, creative, a good heart and most if all a God fearing man. And i accepted him for the hot mess that is he. So I went all in! He moved in with me and my mom so we could save money/get himself together. (FYI he lost 3 jobs in the time I was with him). We worked in his resume and got him updated and now he has a great job with a great company as a sous chef. Amen! Failing back a little; He wanted to marry me two months into the relationship. He did a verbal engagement 5 months in, he told my mom and his mom. We booked the venue of next year. Have spent over $4000 on venue and $1200 on the dress so far. I even told close family and friends about the engagement. He has been saving for the ring.
Things have turned left about 3months ago. I went on a business vacation and when I came back, he flipped and changed. He was acting very distant, not affectionate, unhappy, tired (from work), and just there but not really there in the relationship mentally. Also I have been expecting the ring for some time now. I began to question his actions (and why has the ring not been bought yet) then told him to move out and go back to his grandmothers place so we could work on the relationship. (I thought that would help) After two days of him sleeping in his car because he didn't want to face his grandmother and ask her for help again. I told him to come back with me and my mom. After that he claims he looked at me different and is not sure if he wanted to be in the relationship. When we talk about the ring he tells me we were not doing good so he didn't want to give the ring under these circumstances. Finally we talk about the relationship again and he wants to work on our original plans of getting marrie. But his work load at work got heavier and he gets short tempered with me all the time. And sometimes mean. The sweet kisses have stopped, he doesn't have interest in my life like he use to. And most of all he does not look at me the way he use to. I feel exhausted. I am tired of trying to fix things on my own. I don't feel like I have done much wrong here. I am leaving out a few things but this is the gist of it. Should I count my loses and call everything off and run from this man, Or should I stay and put in more work into what I already build with this man?
So a little over a year ago, I met this amazing man on a dating site. He was a very sweet affectionate Latin man. I usually have all these standards when I date men but he... He just was so kind and opened about his feeling towards me and his situation. He was closing the doors to his restaurant due to it's lack of financial success. Basically we dated briefly, it was revealed to me (by his own mouth) that he was broke. He has two children, he lives with his grandmother, license was suspended due to him not being able to pay child support, his car was broke down, he had no money, just got a new job as a line cook. We went through a lot of ups and downs. Needless to say I realized this man had many flaws. No good with money, not good with handling his bills/responsibilities, has a resentful nature, plays around too much, accountability issues, brokenness from his past relationships/family, loses focus etc... However this man was loving, kinda, affectionate, happy, creative, a good heart and most if all a God fearing man. And i accepted him for the hot mess that is he. So I went all in! He moved in with me and my mom so we could save money/get himself together. (FYI he lost 3 jobs in the time I was with him). We worked in his resume and got him updated and now he has a great job with a great company as a sous chef. Amen! Failing back a little; He wanted to marry me two months into the relationship. He did a verbal engagement 5 months in, he told my mom and his mom. We booked the venue of next year. Have spent over $4000 on venue and $1200 on the dress so far. I even told close family and friends about the engagement. He has been saving for the ring.
Things have turned left about 3months ago. I went on a business vacation and when I came back, he flipped and changed. He was acting very distant, not affectionate, unhappy, tired (from work), and just there but not really there in the relationship mentally. Also I have been expecting the ring for some time now. I began to question his actions (and why has the ring not been bought yet) then told him to move out and go back to his grandmothers place so we could work on the relationship. (I thought that would help) After two days of him sleeping in his car because he didn't want to face his grandmother and ask her for help again. I told him to come back with me and my mom. After that he claims he looked at me different and is not sure if he wanted to be in the relationship. When we talk about the ring he tells me we were not doing good so he didn't want to give the ring under these circumstances. Finally we talk about the relationship again and he wants to work on our original plans of getting marrie. But his work load at work got heavier and he gets short tempered with me all the time. And sometimes mean. The sweet kisses have stopped, he doesn't have interest in my life like he use to. And most of all he does not look at me the way he use to. I feel exhausted. I am tired of trying to fix things on my own. I don't feel like I have done much wrong here. I am leaving out a few things but this is the gist of it. Should I count my loses and call everything off and run from this man, Or should I stay and put in more work into what I already build with this man?
