So he made me cry, and Im still crying.

[MrsHdrLe]

i just dont know what to do anymore!

i talk to my friends and they all say hes cheating (typical of them)
my mom LOVES him so shes on his side (about him treating you shabbily?)

I hate being young. he is my everything at this point in my life and it will be hard letting him go...i feel like crying thinking about it

Whoa, slow down. God and your family should be your everything (aside from you own well being). Listen to what Mizani Mrs. said, take it to heart and FOCUS on YOUR future. I'm sure it's scary to think of him "getting away", but be glad you live on the other side of town. You'll be alright.

 

[Lucia]

Well let me give you a little background information about me and him. we've been together for awhile now and we have been having problems only just recently the last 2 or 3 months.
He has a tendency to stop texting so i can never really get a direct answer from him.

Ok that sounds really forgetful or he plain just forgot about you-either one is not a good sign.

After my classes i called him but he didn't pick up. He did however text me saying "wats up bae?" and our conversation went on as this
2:00 pm
ME "are we guna spend some time together"
SO "yes bae"
ME "when?"
SO "its up to you"
ME "4 or 5" (i still need to study!)
SO "thats too late"
ME "right now then?"

Ok he says he wants to see you, and it's up to you when, but then he round about chooses the time and nudges you into agreeing to that time, when you have to study. Ummm... he doesn't seem that considerate of your needs here.

and of course he doesn't text back
he does later text at 5:00 "i dont think il be able to see you today"
so im studying and finally 7:00 comes around and he is like come over bae
and i know i should have said no but i am so weak for him

OK help me, help you, cause I don't understand this either, he texts you, he wants to see you, but he doesn't text back until much later, and then "can't" see you today. Then he changes his mind again and says come over, what? this sounds like he's manipulating you. too.

so i call him and i tell him im in front of his house and are you home re replies with no so i kept calm and said ok bye. I was furious!! He made me drive all the way over there for no reason and then he texts me 5 minutes later saying "lol why you actually left?" WHAT THE @*#(? so of course i had some words to say to him and of course he didnt text back and i cried the whole way home...

Ok now this is ridiculous, you should not have been going over his house by this point, he's already switched back and forth a couple of times, and it's obvious he's playing games.

Now ladies he is the most loyal and honest person i know

That's a crock of kaka, if you beleive his behavior is honest and he's being straight up with you, you're being hoodwinked, bamboozled.

so im pretty sure he isnt a cheater (for the most part) and just a week ago i poured out all my feelings about him in a letter letting him know how i felt about his actions and he has really been trying to change. one of the points was him choosing to hang with his friends before me. we only see each other about once a week, two at the most. And the text thing. That bothers me so much. But i care greatly for him.I don't know what to do any more.
Ladies please give me some advice on him.

I'm going to be blunt, the reason you don't want to let this guy go and see him as what he is not, is b/c you like him so much. I'm pretty sure he is a cheater, cause he's showing all the signs and my BS radar was blowin up reading your post He's a super-playa, and he's got you wrapped around his finger, he's got you just where he wants you ready and willing to do anything HE wants, whenever he wants. He seems like he's playing the field and he doesn't want you to know about it. Did this guy ever commit to you officially or are you 2 just kickin it, hanging out, friends with benefits type of thing? You need to wake up and smell the fertilizer cause he stinks.

Here's my advice to you, get busy, studying, working out, getting a new hobby, avoid him at all costs, until you can see him and he's nobody just a guy, change the ring tone for his cell to something you don't like, but will recognize, focus on you, don't call him angry, or hurt, or even try to explain how his behavior makes you feel, cause he obviously doesn't care, you won't appeal to him and he'll know he's got you. Use the hurt to fuel a new chapter in your life and close the book on him for good. Now if he tries to contact you, send you flowers, show up where you are, ignore him, just be like hi and keep it moving. Do not give him the chance to work you over again. Well here's my fav quote when some guy tries to gives me the hot n cold, run around: he's just not that into you, period. JMO HTH

 

[Lucia]

thanx. he has stood me up so many times before and acts as if nothing happens until i bring it up. just dont know what to do anymore!

i talk to my friends and they all say hes cheating (typical of them)
my mom LOVES him so shes on his side

I hate being young. he is my everything at this point in my life and it will be hard letting him go...i feel like crying thinking about it

That's just obvious why are you wasting your time, with this trick. Age has nothing to do with this on his part guys can be jerks at any age never forget that. But if your mom keeps insisting she likes him he's so nice, you should tell your mom how he really acts, then see what she says but you can't live your entire life based on who your mom likes esp. if she doesn't see the big picture, mainly you. BTW this is not a healthy relationship, actually it's not a realtionship at all, he's just manipulating you to have you on stand by whenever HE needs you. dump him like the garbage he is and KIM. When you're free of him you'll feel better, and meet better people, but don't jump to commit or try to commit to any guys anytime soon, get your education, get yourself right and do YOU. stay strong and keep your head up mammi

*sigh* young love.... The truth is that he doesn't deserve you BUT since you are young and is really feelin this dude, the chance of you dumping him is probably less than 5% at this time. (i think the majority of women can speak from experience) So i would just say that u need to understand that this IS the relationship that you have signed up for. There is no "we are getting better, and i'm training him". It will always be like this. he's not going to change, he's not going to start doing anything different. He has made up his mind what type of "effort" you are worth. This is what he is willing to give to you. Either accept it for what it is, or move on. likely you'll deal with it for a few more months, then you get over your 'infactuation' and then you will move on. i say the sooner the better, because your self-esteem is at stake....

Well said, ITA, too many women get caught up in trying to fix him cause he's a good man, I mean what does a jerk have to do for someone to cut him loose? seriously.

 

[lcherilu]

Ok that sounds really forgetful or he plain just forgot about you-either one is not a good sign.




Ok he says he wants to see you, and it's up to you when, but then he round about chooses the time and nudges you into agreeing to that time, when you have to study. Ummm... he doesn't seem that considerate of your needs here.




OK help me, help you, cause I don't understand this either, he texts you, he wants to see you, but he doesn't text back until much later, and then "can't" see you today. Then he changes his mind again and says come over, what? this sounds like he's manipulating you. too.





Ok now this is ridiculous, you should not have been going over his house by this point, he's already switched back and forth a couple of times, and it's obvious he's playing games.



That's a crock of kaka, if you beleive his behavior is honest and he's being straight up with you, you're being hoodwinked, bamboozled.




I'm going to be blunt, the reason you don't want to let this guy go and see him as what he is not, is b/c you like him so much. I'm pretty sure he is a cheater, cause he's showing all the signs and my BS radar was blowin up reading your post He's a super-playa, and he's got you wrapped around his finger, he's got you just where he wants you ready and willing to do anything HE wants, whenever he wants. He seems like he's playing the field and he doesn't want you to know about it. Did this guy ever commit to you officially or are you 2 just kickin it, hanging out, friends with benefits type of thing? You need to wake up and smell the fertilizer cause he stinks.

Here's my advice to you, get busy, studying, working out, getting a new hobby, avoid him at all costs, until you can see him and he's nobody just a guy, change the ring tone for his cell to something you don't like, but will recognize, focus on you, don't call him angry, or hurt, or even try to explain how his behavior makes you feel, cause he obviously doesn't care, you won't appeal to him and he'll know he's got you. Use the hurt to fuel a new chapter in your life and close the book on him for good. Now if he tries to contact you, send you flowers, show up where you are, ignore him, just be like hi and keep it moving. Do not give him the chance to work you over again. Well here's my fav quote when some guy tries to gives me the hot n cold, run around: he's just not that into you, period. JMO HTH

Thanx for the advice
Yes i do realize even when i share my feelings things have changed but not quite there yet. Anyways hes a man so i should have expected it from him but when i do break up with him i want to do it in person and im afraid he will just persuade me not too by saying how much he loves me and cares about me. I guess my BS radar is broken because it probably wont work. i do believe he loves me and cares about me greatly. he was one of those guys constantly trying to get your attention and i talk to him for a whole year before i actually gave it a try...im confused and misareble

at this point i don't think he cares because he hasnt texted me or called me since it happend. I guess thats my fault because of the words i said to him after the incident he hates when i curse at him he says its very disrespectful.

should i cave in and call him?

 

[Bunny77]

the sad thing about it is this is the most healthy relationship ive been in and aside from all that he is really sweet and he is nothing like other dudes i know when he isnt acting that way. I dont want to let go of him cuz again we have been together for quite sometime and i would hate to see him with another women.

How many relationships have you been in at 18?

 

[JinaRicci]

does age play a factor in any of this. he is 19 and im 18.

OK, you're too young for such drama. It's nice having boyfriends at that age but it should be fun not like this. Please allow yourself to dream bigger & expect more from a real relationship & a real nice & honest guy.

 

[Bunny77]

ITA, my sister tells me this all the time. Her advice is to yell, scream, and curse at him until he starts to change basically get on his A** (she has been with her babys father for 4 years ) but i just dont see this as the way out of a problem

This is BAD advice.

Glad you recognize that!


Oh, was this the guy whose name you wanted to get tattooed on your body? Aren't you glad you didn't do that now? (please say you didn't...)


As for the age thing, I know you're young and that you text a lot. But this text "relationship" stuff is ridiculous... you two need to talk, in person. And he needs to start using the telephone more if he wants to talk to you.

Texting should be used for times when you can't communicate by phone (or in person) for whatever reason, NOT as a replacement for real communication.

 

[lcherilu]

How many relationships have you been in at 18?

this is my 2rd serious one....but have had little ones here and there

 

[jturner7156]

SIMPLE: He is only doing to you what you let him...

 

[Bunny77]

this is my 2rd serious one....but have had little ones here and there

Thanks.

I just want to say that I know that right now, it seems hard to imagine that any man can be better than this one, but you will meet SO many men in your life that you'll look back -- maybe even in a year -- and probably laugh at the idea that you couldn't live without this one.

You're going to FAU in a few weeks right? A whole new world is going to be open to you... is your current boyfriend in college? Is he supportive of your education? College could be the perfect time for you to expand your horizons and gain new experiences -- don't think that your current boyfriend is the best you'll ever get... he's definitely not!

 

[p31woman]

Thanx for the advice
Yes i do realize even when i share my feelings things have changed but not quite there yet. Anyways hes a man so i should have expected it from him but when i do break up with him i want to do it in person and im afraid he will just persuade me not too by saying how much he loves me and cares about me. I guess my BS radar is broken because it probably wont work. i do believe he loves me and cares about me greatly. he was one of those guys constantly trying to get your attention and i talk to him for a whole year before i actually gave it a try...im confused and misareble

at this point i don't think he cares because he hasnt texted me or called me since it happend. I guess thats my fault because of the words i said to him after the incident he hates when i curse at him he says its very disrespectful.

should i cave in and call him?

DO NOT CALL HIM!

Why on earth are you blaming yourself? You have done nothing wrong! I hate to see you like this, because myself, as well as probably every woman on this board have been there.

PLEASE listen to the advice we are giving you. WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE...

DO NOT CALL HIM
DO NOT TEXT HIM
DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF

DO FOCUS ON YOUR SCHOOL, FAMILY AND FRIENDS

He has proven to you where you stand with him. Why make someone a priority who has clearly made you an option? You are a beautiful young woman and trust me...HE is the one missing out!

It sucks but I would not shed one more tear...do you think he is sitting at his house crying over this situation? NO! So why are you?

 

[lcherilu]

This is BAD advice.

Glad you recognize that!


Oh, was this the guy whose name you wanted to get tattooed on your body? Aren't you glad you didn't do that now? (please say you didn't...)


As for the age thing, I know you're young and that you text a lot. But this text "relationship" stuff is ridiculous... you two need to talk, in person. And he needs to start using the telephone more if he wants to talk to you.

Texting should be used for times when you can't communicate by phone (or in person) for whatever reason, NOT as a replacement for real communication.

ITA on the texting thing but i guess that is just his preference. And yes i am glad i didnt go through with the tattoo (LMAO )

I don't know anymore. I guess i should have seen this coming when his mom would sit there and point out the faults in our relationship.

I guess idk how to be a real girlfriend (the words of his mother). Im not the type to express myself or speak up when something bothers me so i guess that is my fault.

 

[Lucia]

Thanx for the advice
Yes i do realize even when i share my feelings things have changed but not quite there yet. Anyways hes a man so i should have expected it from him but when i do break up with him i want to do it in person and im afraid he will just persuade me not too by saying how much he loves me and cares about me. I guess my BS radar is broken because it probably wont work. i do believe he loves me and cares about me greatly. he was one of those guys constantly trying to get your attention and i talk to him for a whole year before i actually gave it a try...im confused and misareble

at this point i don't think he cares because he hasnt texted me or called me since it happend. I guess thats my fault because of the words i said to him after the incident he hates when i curse at him he says its very disrespectful.

should i cave in and call him?

Heck NO, don't call him, you didn't do anything wrong, and he had a cursing out coming, don't go to his place, don't answer his calls, emails (label his email addy as spam and have it auto deleted) or VM's, don't call him back no matter how many times he calls you. Don't hang out where he usually does. Honestly he doesn't deserve a face to face break up, I mean that's something you do with someone who acted like a gentleman and was honest, loyal and true the whole time and it's just not happening, not for a guy like him. Save yourself the drama and confrontation just subtract yourself from this dysfunctional situation ASAP. Yo may think I'm being extra but seriously if you stop any and all contact with him trust me, he won't go out of his way to find out why so don't waste you energy confronting him, and he might use that face to face to hurt you more and get a some last diggs in and really destroy your self-esteem, steer clear of him I always get a bad feeling when GF's tell me they're going to confront their men it's just ghetto-drama, and you don't need that.
Occupy your time with other things, join a book club if you have to, but don't give this man anymore of your time, tears, or energy.

 

[Bunny77]

ITA on the texting thing but i guess that is just his preference. And yes i am glad i didnt go through with the tattoo (LMAO )

I don't know anymore. I guess i should have seen this coming when his mom would sit there and point out the faults in our relationship.

I guess idk how to be a real girlfriend (the words of his mother). Im not the type to express myself or speak up when something bothers me so i guess that is my fault.

But what is YOUR preference?

My preference is phone calls and talking in person. If a man doesn't share my preference, then he is not the man for me. Your preference matters too!

Oh, and HIS mother said you don't know how to be a real girlfriend? Oh heck naw, you need to leave that fool and his mama alone!

What's that boy doing with his life? Why isn't he studying or at work like you are?

You are just FINE just as you are, okay? Remember that! YOU can do so much better! SOOO much better! Leave this mess alone and trust that you are a good woman who deserves MUCH better!!!

 

[lcherilu]

DO NOT CALL HIM!

Why on earth are you blaming yourself? You have done nothing wrong! I hate to see you like this, because myself, as well as probably every woman on this board have been there.

PLEASE listen to the advice we are giving you. WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE...

DO NOT CALL HIM
DO NOT TEXT HIM
DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF

DO FOCUS ON YOUR SCHOOL, FAMILY AND FRIENDS

He has proven to you where you stand with him. Why make someone a priority who has clearly made you an option? You are a beautiful young woman and trust me...HE is the one missing out!

It sucks but I would not shed one more tear...do you think he is sitting at his house crying over this situation? NO! So why are you?

your right he isnt crying...why do i feel this way about this dude that obviously doesnt care? love sucks!

 

[lcherilu]

But what is YOUR preference?

My preference is phone calls and talking in person. If a man doesn't share my preference, then he is not the man for me. Your preference matters too!

Oh, and HIS mother said you don't know how to be a real girlfriend? Oh heck naw, you need to leave that fool and his mama alone!

What's that boy doing with his life? Why isn't he studying or at work like you are?

You are just FINE just as you are, okay? Remember that! YOU can do so much better! SOOO much better! Leave this mess alone and trust that you are a good woman who deserves MUCH better!!!

his mother was always blunt, never held anything back
and he is in college too but doesnt have a job or a car at the moment so thats one of our obstacles.

 

[p31woman]

your right he isnt crying...why do i feel this way about this dude that obviously doesnt care? love sucks!

Men suck sometimes. But give him a taste of his own medicine.

When he calls or texts...DON'T ANSWER. You remember how it feels when you call him and he doesn't answer? Remember how your mind wanders? By not answering when he calls you, you are allowing him to wonder about what your doing and feel those same things.

When he asks to meet you...SAY YOU HAVE PLANS...Even if you are doing nothing but sitting in the house watching tv and aare DYING to see him...DO NOT GO! He needs to understand that his behavior is unacceptable and that you and your feelings are NOT to be played with.

My advice is to leave him alone for good. I'm not sure if you are going to do this right away, but please satrt giving him a taste of his own medicine.

Sometimes men don't understand what we say...but they SURELY understand our actions. He will notice RATHER QUICKLY when you stop answering, or when ur busy, or you aren't as available to him as you used to be...WATCH..I guarentee you!

 

[Bunny77]

his mother was always blunt, never held anything back
and he is in college too but doesnt have a job or a car at the moment so thats one of our obstacles.

Naw, his mama is rude.

Telling an 18-year-old high school girl that she's not a good girlfriend? Unacceptable. My mama would have slapped the mess out of her for saying that and told me that I could do better than her and her sorry behind son!

Don't accept foul treatment like that from people. I know you can't really talk back to a mother, but just know that she is absolutely wrong for pointing out "faults" to you and criticizing you... needs to be teaching her dumb-behind son how to use a telephone!

 

[p31woman]

Naw, his mama is rude.

Telling an 18-year-old high school girl that she's not a good girlfriend? Unacceptable. My mama would have slapped the mess out of her for saying that and told me that I could do better than her and her sorry behind son!

Don't accept foul treatment like that from people. I know you can't really talk back to a mother, but just know that she is absolutely wrong for pointing out "faults" to you and criticizing you... needs to be teaching her dumb-behind son how to use a telephone!

THANK YOU!!! FOLKS ARE A TRIP!!

 

[Lucia]

Men suck sometimes. But give him a taste of his own medicine.

When he calls or texts...DON'T ANSWER. You remember how it feels when you call him and he doesn't answer? Remember how your mind wanders? By not answering when he calls you, you are allowing him to wonder about what your doing and feel those same things.

When he asks to meet you...SAY YOU HAVE PLANS...Even if you are doing nothing but sitting in the house watching tv and aare DYING to see him...DO NOT GO! He needs to understand that his behavior is unacceptable and that you and your feelings are NOT to be played with.

My advice is to leave him alone for good. I'm not sure if you are going to do this right away, but please satrt giving him a taste of his own medicine.

Sometimes men don't understand what we say...but they SURELY understand our actions. He will notice RATHER QUICKLY when you stop answering, or when ur busy, or you aren't as available to him as you used to be...WATCH..I guarentee you!

I'd say don't ever answer his calls again, but if you happen to answer the phone quicky before looking and it's him, just do what p31 says, your busy, you have to work, class, whatever, say bye and hang up quick. then don't answer if he calls right back either, also delete all his VM's.

 

[lcherilu]

The thing about it is i never miss his phone call and always text baq right away

But i will give him a dose of his own medicine to see if anything changes which proably wont. Theres no avoiding it and i really dont want to considering that i love him but i do have to call it off..

 

[brownelovely]

Drop him quickly and focus on school. Ya'll can still be friends w/o benefits but don't lose time studying to go over to see him and he's playing games. He should have come to see you and by the way you wrote the first text he sent >>>when can i c you again bae does not sit well with me.

To me that makes it seem like you are just someone he casually sees when the timing fits. Focus on school...that's what is the most important.

 

[lcherilu]

i guess im just afriad that i won't find anybody as great as he is (when he isnt acting like this) and i dont want to compare the next guy i try to date to him which ive done in the past with one of my past relationships i use to compare every guy to him.

 

[Bunny77]

i guess im just afriad that i won't find anybody as great as he is (when he isnt acting like this) and i dont want to compare the next guy i try to date to him which ive done in the past with one of my past relationships i use to compare every guy to him.

What makes him so great? We're still not getting what is so great about him...

Seeing that you're probably going to live about 6-7 more decades on this Earth, I think it's safe to say you'll meet someone way better than him... and with a more considerate mother too!

 

[Lucia]

Drop him quickly and focus on school. Ya'll can still be friends w/o benefits but don't lose time studying to go over to see him and he's playing games. He should have come to see you and by the way you wrote the first text he sent >>>when can i c you again bae does not sit well with me.

To me that makes it seem like you are just someone he casually sees when the timing fits. Focus on school...that's what is the most important.

NO don't even be friends with him, he's still going to be able to string you along. If you happen to run into him, which you will and he speaks just speak and KIM, don't stay, don't hang around and think that your getting to him. Actually for a while you should just do the opposite of what you think you should do with him. If you feel like you should call,-DON'T, if you feel like you should answer his texts or VM-DON'T you get the picture, it will be hard at first but once you start ignoring him, it will be like 2nd nature, easy then you won't even think about him at all.

 

[Lucia]

i guess im just afriad that i won't find anybody as great as he is (when he isnt acting like this) and i dont want to compare the next guy i try to date to him which ive done in the past with one of my past relationships i use to compare every guy to him.

Tell me how he acts when he's not "like this" what's the difference if he was nicer before he's a jerk now and that cancels out all previous perceived (on your part) niceness.
I'm going to suggest some movies and books for you, I know money's tight so of course if you can rent DVD's borrow these books from the library great idea. The old classics are going to be a little longer, but keep an open mind, besides the fashions they wore was fierce.

Please try to do these movies books in order, of corse you'll be done with the movies faster lol hth


Books:

He's just not that into you
http://www.amazon.com/Hes-Just-That...=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251257707&sr=1-3

the movie version of it is not as good or the same and the message gets lost.

The Prince-Machiavelli (so you can understand master manipulatiing and how it's done)
http://www.amazon.com/Prince-Bantam-Classics-Niccolo-Machiavelli/dp/0553212788

Why men love B's
http://www.amazon.com/Why-Men-Love-*****es-Relationship/dp/1580627560/ref=pd_sim_b_1

Where the heart is
http://www.amazon.com/Where-Heart-O...=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251261370&sr=8-1

Keeping the love you find

http://www.amazon.com/Keeping-Love-...=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251261449&sr=1-6

If you really loved me

http://www.amazon.com/You-Really-Lo...=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251261800&sr=1-1

Calling in the one

http://www.amazon.com/Calling-One-W...=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251261547&sr=1-1

Movies:

Where the heart is
http://www.amazon.com/Where-Heart-N...ef=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1251261100&sr=1-1

What's love got to do with it
http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Love-Go...ef=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1251260824&sr=1-1

The Ugly Truth

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-wMe9vxkWI

Picture perfect
http://www.amazon.com/Picture-Perfe...ef=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1251260862&sr=1-1


Wedding planner

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_1...ords=wedding+planner+dvd&sprefix=wedding+plan

My Fair Lady
http://www.amazon.com/My-Fair-Lady-...ef=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1251258275&sr=1-2

Gentleman prefer blondes-Marylin Monroe, Jane Roussel
http://www.amazon.com/Gentlemen-Pre...ef=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1251258143&sr=1-2


Gigi-Leslie Caron, Louis Jourdan, Maurice Chevalier
http://www.amazon.com/Gigi-Two-Disc...ef=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1251258069&sr=8-1

How to marry a millionaire
http://www.amazon.com/How-Marry-Mil...ef=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1251260940&sr=1-1

 

[naijamerican]

Icherilu...

My heart aches for you a bit because of your sadness. I'm glad that you recognize the sound advice you've received in this thread as just that - sound advice. There are women older than you that post scenarios that don't demonstrate the humility you've shown, and that's word.

Stop beating yourself up for your youth and relative inexperience; be glad that you're young and that you're learning this lesson early on. As Mscocoface wisely stated, this man should not be your everything, especially when he's proven to be such a poor excuse for a boyfriend. No man of any worth would purposefully toy with a young woman's feelings, and your feelings/emotions/thoughts are precious. A man of worth would recognize you as the treasure you are, rather than avoid you. Only cowards avoid doing what they ought to do, not men.

I came across a saying a few years ago that I've held onto for dear life: A smart man learns from his mistakes, but a wise man learns from others' mistakes. Be the wise one that learns from the mistakes that many women in this thread have made, mistakes that are forming the basis of the advice we're sharing with you. This man is not the best you will ever have. Please do not be so shortsighted that you believe that utter lie. If you really do believe that, then my dear, there are other things that you need to really think and pray about as it pertains to how you view your own worth.

 

[lcherilu]

well he is REALLY sweet. He doesnt treat me like just another female like my previous relationships (drug dealers, jail birds, cheaters). If you meet him your first impression is he's shy and sweethearted. thats how my friends see him. and everyone absolutely loves him. He's a likeable guy. He doesnt lie to me... well let me rephrase that when he lies he tells the truth right afterwards which i think is a plus. I dont think he knows how to lie because he does the same to his mother. he does for me. He cooks, pays for the majority of our dates even when its his last dollar. (remember he doesnt have a job)(I know i shouldnt look at that but it feels good because my past men have never done anything for me). When were together sometimes he just wants to hold me in his arms and lay just like that for hours. is just a number of this he does thats amazing. I think he just doesnt kno how to communticate. I guess he loves me for me you can say. No dude has ever made me feel that way before.

 

[Carrie A]

Girl, ain't this the same f@@l, I mean dude, whose name you were planning on getting tattooed on yo' body.

 

[LisaLisa1908]

i guess im just afriad that i won't find anybody as great as he is (when he isnt acting like this) and i dont want to compare the next guy i try to date to him which ive done in the past with one of my past relationships i use to compare every guy to him.

He's not that great. You just said you were miserable...you consider someone great that can cause you to feel this way?

I know this seems like the worst situation ever, but I promise, you deserve better than this. Men that like you are not trying to take you through changes or make you jump through hoops. I'm not sure what this boy's redeeming qualities are, but I have yet to read anything that makes me feel he cares for you. Good luck.