WHY did he CHANGE???

[foxee]

This is one of the reasons why I HATE text messaging! Now days, I'm refusing to have "text convos" with men in the beginning of a relationship unless he's asking me out for a date, or he has to make a last-minute change to pre-arranged plans. Otherwise, I'm ignoring. A man can CALL me. They know how to use the phone.

Text messaging and technology in general has just made some men waaay too LAZY!

^This.

I do not accept text messages from men. Period. A guy I'm interested in sent me a text a couple days ago and I texted him back with "I do not do texts. Call me." And yes, he called. I don't get all this text messaging back and forth. If you can text an entire conversation, then you can use that same cell phone to call!

One of my girlfriends told me her BF has been sending some of the most sarcastic text messages and then plays it off like he's doing nothing wrong. When she confronts him he gets real defensive, like "You're trippin'" or "It's all in your head." I told her to ignore all his texts from this point forward. Sure enough her BF called several times yesterday, leaving her voice mails like "What's going on?" and "Why haven't you returned my texts? Are you mad at me?" I bet he'll never text her again.

Gotta set some boundaries, ladies.

 

[2Cute!]

Trust me, he didn't change...he's just showing you who he REALLY is.

Reading this post brought back some sad memories of this EXACT situation that happened to me years ago. I too was dating a fireman and this same thing happened with us. It's weird how similar our stories are...from the great beginning to the intermittent phone calls...even down to the length of time it lasted before things headed south.

To make a long story short, I later found out there was someone else AND that she was pregnant.

These signs are huge red flags. Just be done with him and move on. You'll be glad you did.

Thankfully, it was only two months and not two years.

 

[Cincysweetie]

Just wanted to support the quote above, as that is the bell that went off for me, when reading your post. Dude sounds like he's involved, married or in some other kind of relationship.

My first thought exactly.

I doubt he changed, he was just playing all along. Sorry that OP was the victim of a triflin man, but we all play the fool at some point. Don't beat yourself up, just learn from this and keep in mind that there are good guys out there somewhere. Don't let this man and your ex convince you otherwise.

 

[Jade Feria]

If it takes all these "rules" just for a guy to be interested, I think I'm done with the dating scenario. Or perhaps, I really should have taken that year off from my last relationship, lol.

Girl, LIFE takes a whole bunch of "rules" in order for you to have the desired results in ANY situation...you can either get with it or get phased out!

There are only two types of pain: that of discipline and that of regret. Only difference is, discipline weighs ounces and regret weighs tons. You've got the regret-type pain from this situation, now you've got to get some discipline!

I'm sure your job has a bunch of requirements you wouldn't care to follow if it were up to you, and some people you'd rather not deal with...but you do, and you're still there! Don't let one unfavorable situation completely knock you out the box. What kind of character would you build, and how would you learn and grow if everything was easy all the time?

 

[cocoberry10]

Most men show you their representative when they first meet you. That's not totally who they are, but it's like they are putting their best foot forward.

I wish more of us wouldn't put all our eggs in one basket. There are many fish in the sea.

OP, live by this rule:

Never make someone a priority that treats you like an option!

 

[DragonPearl]

I met a guy a couple months ago, and trust me I was a little hesistant because it's safe to say that my previous relationship was a horrible one. However, I decided to open up and give him a chance because he was sweet, treated me well and...he's not my ex, so why treat him like he was?

It takes more than a couple of months to get to know someone, and keep in mind that most men will put their best foot forward when they're courting you. This man is showing you his real self, after he has made what he considers his conquest. Some men love the chase and don't really want a steady relationship. Let him go.

Moving forward, you seem to be having a difficult time picking men with whom you can have a good relationship, so why don't you take your time before you open up to men in the future? Two months is not enough. Get to know them as friends first before allowing yourself to be sucked into having a relationship with them.

 

[DragonPearl]

And another thing, they ALWAYS come back. He won't tell you that he isn't into you, because he doesn't want to burn bridges, and they think that so they'll always have that 'in' with you. Don't fall for the bull when he comes back. Just ignore him like he's ignoring you.

They do. They want to know if you still have the hots for them, and if you show that you're not interested, they may try to conquer you again just for good measure... Silly boys and their games.

 

[DragonPearl]

I would agree, except that I ABHOR talking on the phone. He would be the one continuing the conversation, adding his piece, trying to keep me on to talk about his work, his mother's death, his life, his friends...him...

Unfortunately, I don't want to see him again. After my last relationship, it's like this: If a man isn't acting in a way that makes me happy, he can go on about his business. It's not worth the stress and I will not let a man drive me crazy again like my ex did. Oh boy, did that man drive me crazy...

I was just upset that he changed. I already think of men like this and I was very upset he proved me right. He was really into me, which is so cool, since it's never happened before.

If it takes all these "rules" just for a guy to be interested, I think I'm done with the dating scenario. Or perhaps, I really should have taken that year off from my last relationship, lol.

Thanks-a-million everyone!

You sound like you're going to be okay. There is a guy for you. Take care and treat yourself well on all levels, and you'll attract someone who fits with it.

 

[LadyCee]

this seems to be a very common situation. i myself have gone thru this and still facing the after events of it all. a person tell you they like you, they are feeling you and then they just stop acting the way there were before and or disappear. i still find myself contacting him and idk why trying to find a answer as to why why why. but i seriously need to stop and just learn to get over it and let it go and love me. its not easy but its not easy..

 

[locabouthair]

I swear this has happened to almost every woman including me.

Actions always speak louder than words.

My friend just called me this weekend and the SAME thing happened to her and she was only dealing with the guy for 2 months too.

Keep it moving. You'll be happy you did.

In my case, my dumb arse went back and he played me again. I should have known better. Don't go back to him girl Ignore all his calls.

 

[lesedi]

I think you have great advice including FeelinIt comment...LOL

You learned early on as Maya said when someone shows your their personality the first time believe them.

Fortunately you don't have much time invested, reflect to see what you may have done if anything, notice if there were any warning signs in the beginning and what you can learn from this and move on.

Still don't treat the next person who shows interest based on the outcome of this short relationship.

Ain't that the truth