3 - There are men out there who will date and love a woman with more than one child even if the children aren't his. My friend who is a single mother of two married a guy who had no children and it wasn't an issue for him.
I'm sorry you are feeling this way right now..I hope love sweeps you off your feet when you least expect it. Good luck with your journey.
Anyway, I'm the single mom of a soon to be 4 year old son. I'm not gonna lie to you nor sugar coat it. He is so full of energy and wears. me. out. But I love him more than life. Some days I'm sooo tired after work, but when we get home I still have to cook, give him a bath, play countless games with him and help him with his "homework". He leaves me completely spent by the end of the night, BUT I love him more than life. 
You will be so tired a lot of nights, but you'll be fine. Just continue to love your children and care for them. You will be sleep deprived, but just keep loving your children anyway. Once you become a single mother, you will discover a reservoir of energy in you that you had no idea existed, but it's there. 
I don't have 2, but he has the energy of 2 people combined.
It's not easy when they are young, but you can do it. My son is with his father every other weekend and his father's mom is a godsend as well. I chose a better grandmother for my son than I did a father for him, but that's another story because it could be worse. It helps to have someone to support you, to offer you a break even if it is for a few hours.
As women, we do what we have to do, whether we are married moms or single moms. I know quite a few married moms that feel like single moms, but for whatever reason their husbands refuse to lend a hand.
You will probably become a better mother, a more attentive mother, a more loving mother because you will realize that you're no longer caring for one, but two which will require more of your emotions...but you can do it.
I tell people all the time: I'd rather have my son in a loving single parent home than a dysfunctional and unhappy two parent home any day. So that's how I'm doing it until the right man comes along that deserves the love of me and my son.
Single mom of 3....It's not easy. But it can be done. Honestly the hardest years are when they are younger. You feel as if there are so many things you HAVE to do that you will never get it all done. Please rememeber to always take time for yourself! I started getting up early in the morning. About a 1/2 to an hour early, and take a long bubble bath. I prayed listened to music, just gettting my mind ready for the day. THis helps IMMENSLY!
Also, you can't take care of your kids if you don't take care of YOU! Treat yourself to a book, mani/pedi, a magazine. Just make sure that you don't forget you while you are taking care of everybody else.
Don't sweat the small stuff. There will be days when you walk into your house EXHAUSTED! And don't really care about the toys on the floor. IT'S OK! Sometimes peace of mind, a few extra hours of sleep and the sanity are better than a pristine house...
People think I was mean for this but they NEVER slept in my bed! I have a neice who is 5and still sleeps with my sister. I made sure my room was my sanctuary, it's one of the only things I can have to myself.
Keep your children on a schedule. I started IMMEDIATELY with my boys on a schedule of going to bed early. They are older now, but they STILL can't stay up past 9 or 10. On school nights nine is the cutoff unless we have plans or a project or something they are working on. This will give you a few hours in the evening to unwind/do housework or chores.
Think ahead....Cook meals one day on the weekend that will get you through the week so you don't have to worry about coming home cooking a huge meal everynight.
Lastly, the hugs and kisses you will get from those babies will make all of the hard stuff fade away! That's what will TRULY keep you going.
I'm not really sure how to stop the "excuses" since I do want him to use the potty whenever he needs to use it or I don't want to ignore him if something is hurting him...he can play me like a fiddle sometimes and I need to learn to tell the difference and just ignore him.
I've been separated and divorced for ten years with two children by choice too. It can be done. It's not a picnic but when you turn toward your children and put them first in your consideration, they will be fine. Just remember to consider how their reality must be and do your best to set an industrious example for them. Make sure you protect their right to develop and flourish as healthy individuals. Try not to have random men around them and build a family as a TEAM with them. Build stability for them. Sacrifice to show them they can achieve. When they see Mommy build, they learn to build. When they see Mommy is serious about certain principles, they will never forget those lessons. Keep them involved in extracurricular activities and be a hardnose about their education. Lastly, make yourself happy through self-introspection and enrichment. Find some time always to do things for you that will build your own sense of self so that you will feel whole...if Mama's happy, everyone's happy.
To the bolded, this is SO very true! Even at 4 years old ( well he'll be 4 on the 26th), I'm still struggling with true structure with my son and I admit it is my fault. I need to learn to make him stay in the bed after he's been put to bed.
He always finds an excuse to get out and he uses excuses that he knows I will fall for like: "mommy I need to pee-pee" or "mommy my leg is hurting". Then he'll go to the bathroom and just have one drop for the potty or I'll check his leg and there is a 2 month old scar on it.
Any advice from anyone on this? Is this scenario familar to any of you mothers?
To the bolded, this is SO very true! Even at 4 years old ( well he'll be 4 on the 26th), I'm still struggling with true structure with my son and I admit it is my fault. I need to learn to make him stay in the bed after he's been put to bed.
He always finds an excuse to get out and he uses excuses that he knows I will fall for like: "mommy I need to pee-pee" or "mommy my leg is hurting". Then he'll go to the bathroom and just have one drop for the potty or I'll check his leg and there is a 2 month old scar on it.
Any advice from anyone on this? Is this scenario familar to any of you mothers?[/QUOTE]
LOL- Very familiar. Single, divorced mother of 3 here
. I intentionally developed a regiment of activities that let them know- ok after we do this, mom puts us into the bed. It went something like this- bath time, storytime, prayers, into bed. When they would come up with all of the excuses and faux ailments, I would exam everyone, give kisses and promises that I would be there in the morning, very briefly discuss plans for what we would eat for breakfast, or quick review of tomorrow's planned activities, back into bed with a stern reminder that they were not to get out of bed. Sometimes we would do this a couple of times before they understood I was not kidding. Sometimes it was necessary to give them the motherhood eye with raised eyebrowand head tilted slightly downward
(even though I was laughing on the inside) to get the point across. In extreme situations, a little tap on the bottom was given as reinforcement too.
Kids are smart though. They catch on quickly. I would say within a week I was not having problems with them coming out of their room etc except on rare occasions. You do have to establish boindaries with your son. You are right to start now. One day he will be bigger than you (around 12). That is not the time to start to demand respect or obedience to you. His very life may depend on the words you say to him. Sometimes, it's act first, get an explanation later- you know? Anyway, enjoy each stage of life. Before you know it he'll be off to school. You will wonder where the time went. Enjoy being mom.
