*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*
- Thread starter DarkJoy
- Start date
Plushottie
Thicc and fione
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Bette Davis Eyes
The "OG" Product Junkie
Hope you feel better soon @CoiledOrchids
Bette Davis Eyes
The "OG" Product Junkie
My gf introduced me to her cousin. He’s so cute lol. And not a lick of dating acumen. I’m not interested in chasing men.
Shy boy holding on.
Shy boy holding on.
CoiledOrchids
Well-Known Member
@yaya24 & @Bette Davis Eyes good news! my foot isn't broken or anything like that. I've been icing it and keeping it elevated. It feels so much better.
I've decided to open up a second checking account to save for my car. I decided I want a hybrid. To save a down payment of $8,700 i'd only need to save $290 per check. I'm thinking about opening a second checking account to keep things a lil bit more organized.
I'd have: checking #1 (rent & ultilities, school tuition)
checking #2-this is where the down payment for the car would be
savings account
christmas club savings account
I don't make enough money to contribute to a Roth IRA or 401k right now with my current job so that would have to wait until I finish nursing school, pass the NCLEX and start working as a RN
i've been reading up on personal finance and watching caleb hammer's youtube channel where he does financial audits. I realized I have an amazon addiction so I will only buy books maybe twice a year--in the summer and for my birthday. I also do not and will not buy expensive gifts this christmas, especially since everyone is grown and my siblings and I are childfree.
I also can cut my gym membership and probably cut either hulu or netflix. I just need one. Other than that, I watch youtube.
I like to have fun but I don't want to break the bank to do so. Plus the library is free and I can take advantage of the free classes they have.
I've decided to open up a second checking account to save for my car. I decided I want a hybrid. To save a down payment of $8,700 i'd only need to save $290 per check. I'm thinking about opening a second checking account to keep things a lil bit more organized.
I'd have: checking #1 (rent & ultilities, school tuition)
checking #2-this is where the down payment for the car would be
savings account
christmas club savings account
I don't make enough money to contribute to a Roth IRA or 401k right now with my current job so that would have to wait until I finish nursing school, pass the NCLEX and start working as a RN
i've been reading up on personal finance and watching caleb hammer's youtube channel where he does financial audits. I realized I have an amazon addiction so I will only buy books maybe twice a year--in the summer and for my birthday. I also do not and will not buy expensive gifts this christmas, especially since everyone is grown and my siblings and I are childfree.
I also can cut my gym membership and probably cut either hulu or netflix. I just need one. Other than that, I watch youtube.
I like to have fun but I don't want to break the bank to do so. Plus the library is free and I can take advantage of the free classes they have.
GraceJones
Well-Known Member
I feel so much shame. I feel like such a loser. Can barely even find a date. I’ll probably be 40 before I have a boyfriend.
I feel so much insecurity because I’ve never really had men interested in me.
Idk what’s wrong with me or what I can do to fix it. I feel better for a few weeks and then I’ll cry for days at a time. I want to be happy and have a better life but idk how to get there.
I’m in therapy and taking meds but I’m not even sure that can help. I’ve been in therapy for 10 years and I don’t see an end. I just feel hopeless.
I feel so much insecurity because I’ve never really had men interested in me.
Idk what’s wrong with me or what I can do to fix it. I feel better for a few weeks and then I’ll cry for days at a time. I want to be happy and have a better life but idk how to get there.
I’m in therapy and taking meds but I’m not even sure that can help. I’ve been in therapy for 10 years and I don’t see an end. I just feel hopeless.
@GraceJones
I'm sorry you're still struggling with this. Having weeks where you feel okay shows progress from where you began. Not having had a serious relationship doesn’t make you a loser, though I understand shame can be hard to cope with. In those moments, practising self-compassion is crucial.
Although I don’t think you should focus on men or dating right now, I want to point out that it’s a misconception that the number of times you’re approached directly correlates with how much interest you generate. Most men don’t often, or ever, randomly approach women. I’ve seen studies that say around 60% of single men either have never approached a woman or haven’t in the past year. Of those who do, many only approach if the woman appears "approachable." For example, you could have identical twins, but the one with more confidence or a more outgoing personality might receive way more attention.
Just because no one has approached you doesn’t mean no one is interested as you go about your daily life.
Focus on building self-compassion and self-esteem. Develop a strong connection with what you like—your body, your walk, your favorite fabrics, styles, colors, favourite cuts, and your interests. When you truly connect with yourself and what makes you feel good, you’ll notice a shift. You’ll feel confident even without external attention. A simple exercise, like listing 10 things you like about yourself, can help. Add 5 more each week until you run out, and read them daily. Go into detail—your personality, sense of humor, and physical traits like eye shape or waistline.
My most radical self compassion exercise if going through a rough period is to track my thoughts 24/7 for a month and think a self-compassionate statement every time I beat myself up over something/bad memory. Talk to yourself as a good friend would. I like to hold my arms as I do it (like a self hug). It's difficult because at first, it might be 30x a day you have to do it, but it reduces to almost nothing by the end.
This is a good book, apologies if I've linked it before: https://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Self-Compassion-Workbook-Yourself-Strength/dp/1462526780/ref=sr_1_4?crid=BL85A9MBYSUW&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.aUUHGSoalgE7LmmKm5INmG08MUCUeApQrEcALzhk2-H75X0qc4qekmjSsyvmfRx-ASZzR48ZIwm36dOcpcPDFks8UAoDY1Xp7UEAbxJuc6aG-ZgKjMBVZ42K19bNX7kdFSSH42b7rBv4EA4y6qloAFP0l6rd-6HDAkl5_JujQ6cllFeHwksLMewryL1-loII1JvlbCcoHpmk6WNkdg-yS_9L87GQD7qgdJNSlDJXeC0.kjNbAERZXiHm7amivWqn5Ne71k8EcNINcWBgYcoz-ws&dib_tag=se&keywords=self+compassion+kristin+neff&qid=1727774249&sprefix=self+compassion+kr,aps,545&sr=8-4
As you grow in confidence and self-compassion, you’re more likely to find love in the same places you’ll find friends. I recommend joining groups based on shared interests, especially those that attract introverted or reserved people who enjoy connecting, over time, through conversation and activities. You’ll know when you’ve found the right people. If the energy feels off, move on. A mental health support group wouldnt go amiss also just so you can meet some friends who may understand how you're feeling.
By the way, what therapeutic approach is your therapist using?
I'm sorry you're still struggling with this. Having weeks where you feel okay shows progress from where you began. Not having had a serious relationship doesn’t make you a loser, though I understand shame can be hard to cope with. In those moments, practising self-compassion is crucial.
Although I don’t think you should focus on men or dating right now, I want to point out that it’s a misconception that the number of times you’re approached directly correlates with how much interest you generate. Most men don’t often, or ever, randomly approach women. I’ve seen studies that say around 60% of single men either have never approached a woman or haven’t in the past year. Of those who do, many only approach if the woman appears "approachable." For example, you could have identical twins, but the one with more confidence or a more outgoing personality might receive way more attention.
Just because no one has approached you doesn’t mean no one is interested as you go about your daily life.
Focus on building self-compassion and self-esteem. Develop a strong connection with what you like—your body, your walk, your favorite fabrics, styles, colors, favourite cuts, and your interests. When you truly connect with yourself and what makes you feel good, you’ll notice a shift. You’ll feel confident even without external attention. A simple exercise, like listing 10 things you like about yourself, can help. Add 5 more each week until you run out, and read them daily. Go into detail—your personality, sense of humor, and physical traits like eye shape or waistline.
My most radical self compassion exercise if going through a rough period is to track my thoughts 24/7 for a month and think a self-compassionate statement every time I beat myself up over something/bad memory. Talk to yourself as a good friend would. I like to hold my arms as I do it (like a self hug). It's difficult because at first, it might be 30x a day you have to do it, but it reduces to almost nothing by the end.
This is a good book, apologies if I've linked it before: https://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Self-Compassion-Workbook-Yourself-Strength/dp/1462526780/ref=sr_1_4?crid=BL85A9MBYSUW&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.aUUHGSoalgE7LmmKm5INmG08MUCUeApQrEcALzhk2-H75X0qc4qekmjSsyvmfRx-ASZzR48ZIwm36dOcpcPDFks8UAoDY1Xp7UEAbxJuc6aG-ZgKjMBVZ42K19bNX7kdFSSH42b7rBv4EA4y6qloAFP0l6rd-6HDAkl5_JujQ6cllFeHwksLMewryL1-loII1JvlbCcoHpmk6WNkdg-yS_9L87GQD7qgdJNSlDJXeC0.kjNbAERZXiHm7amivWqn5Ne71k8EcNINcWBgYcoz-ws&dib_tag=se&keywords=self+compassion+kristin+neff&qid=1727774249&sprefix=self+compassion+kr,aps,545&sr=8-4
As you grow in confidence and self-compassion, you’re more likely to find love in the same places you’ll find friends. I recommend joining groups based on shared interests, especially those that attract introverted or reserved people who enjoy connecting, over time, through conversation and activities. You’ll know when you’ve found the right people. If the energy feels off, move on. A mental health support group wouldnt go amiss also just so you can meet some friends who may understand how you're feeling.
By the way, what therapeutic approach is your therapist using?
lavaflow99
In search of the next vacation
CoiledOrchids
Well-Known Member
I got a gel pedicure and some fresh braids
I feel pretty
bags are packed. Snack bag and prepped and ready.
boarding the plane later on today
I feel pretty
bags are packed. Snack bag and prepped and ready.
boarding the plane later on today
yaya24
❤️ Libra☼Gemini ☾ Sagittarius ⇗
Enjoy your trip @CoiledOrchids!!
CoiledOrchids
Well-Known Member
@yaya24 thank you. I will.
made it safely to ATL. I don't board my flight to Florida until 10:35 tonight
I'm kinda getting sleepy. I've never had dunkin donuts so idk how good their drinks are. That's all they got down here and starbucks
made it to Florida. Going to the port tomorrow!
yall, this florida weather is so nice. I could definitely get used to it. At home, we're a lil cooler moving into the lower 60s.
I wouldn't mind living down south if they didn't have so many hurricanes and tornadoes. It's more affordable and i could find a nicer apartment for a decent price
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lavaflow99
In search of the next vacation
sunnieb
Well-Known Member
@CoiledOrchids glad you had a nice time!
And I always switch to gel pedis before vacay or even a long work trip. Learned my lesson years ago when I traveled and planned on wearing cute sandals in the evenings.
Messed around and chipped the polish on three toes the first night in the hotel.
And I always switch to gel pedis before vacay or even a long work trip. Learned my lesson years ago when I traveled and planned on wearing cute sandals in the evenings.
Messed around and chipped the polish on three toes the first night in the hotel.
PatDM'T
Well-Known Member
GraceJones
Well-Known Member
I will print this for myself.
I feel like a major part of my depression is the fact that I no longer have my father or step-mother to care for, coupled with the fact that I am out of work. I'm also getting evicted out of my family home. I've lost my sense of purpose. I'm trying very hard but each day is a battle.
TrulyBlessed
Well-Known Member
yaya24
❤️ Libra☼Gemini ☾ Sagittarius ⇗
Her dissappear skits are hilarious.
Facts though - There's nothing to figure out. Just leave him alone.. Men that are serious, are intentional.
CoiledOrchids
Well-Known Member
ended up getting cornrows for vacation.
that's me in my cute lil maxi dress from old navy. I even got my toes done blue to match
I'm thinking of doing a cute gel mani/pedi once a month. I actually liked getting my nails done. I'm trying to be more feminine instead of my usual sweatpants and sneakers.
I don't own any heels and I have no clue how to do makeup. I do like a fresh, dewy makeup (similar to Meagan Good).
I have attached some pics of Princess Cay, the island I went to. I didn't end up going to Nassau bc of the hurricane.
no seasickness at all. Guy's Burger joint was delicious and so was the BBQ. The Excursions were way too expensive tbh.
loved the ship. Will pack less next time. Maybe just dresses and sandals bc I didn't end up wearing most of what i packed. I wore 1 dress and 2 pairs of shorts/ 2 tops.
had a few body image issues. I took pics of me in the water but I gained weight and I can't post it.
I've been meaning to add more perfumes to my collection as well. Affordable ones.
I'm a aving now for another cruise next year. I'm thinking either Aruba, Antigua, Dominican Reuplic or Samoa
that's me in my cute lil maxi dress from old navy. I even got my toes done blue to match
I'm thinking of doing a cute gel mani/pedi once a month. I actually liked getting my nails done. I'm trying to be more feminine instead of my usual sweatpants and sneakers.
I don't own any heels and I have no clue how to do makeup. I do like a fresh, dewy makeup (similar to Meagan Good).
I have attached some pics of Princess Cay, the island I went to. I didn't end up going to Nassau bc of the hurricane.
no seasickness at all. Guy's Burger joint was delicious and so was the BBQ. The Excursions were way too expensive tbh.
loved the ship. Will pack less next time. Maybe just dresses and sandals bc I didn't end up wearing most of what i packed. I wore 1 dress and 2 pairs of shorts/ 2 tops.
had a few body image issues. I took pics of me in the water but I gained weight and I can't post it.
I've been meaning to add more perfumes to my collection as well. Affordable ones.
I'm a aving now for another cruise next year. I'm thinking either Aruba, Antigua, Dominican Reuplic or Samoa
Attachments
lavaflow99
In search of the next vacation
Ahhh that water is so blue and beautiful!!!! 
Looks like you had an amazing time!!
Thanks for sharing your beautiful pics!!
Oh yeah cruise life is so chill. All you need is shorts, tanks, swimsuits and a few dresses and you are set. Stress free packing.
And so glad you are planning to cruise again!!
Looks like you had an amazing time!!Thanks for sharing your beautiful pics!!
Oh yeah cruise life is so chill. All you need is shorts, tanks, swimsuits and a few dresses and you are set. Stress free packing.
And so glad you are planning to cruise again!!
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CoiledOrchids
Well-Known Member
@lavaflow99 girl yes! A time was had!Ahhh that water is so blue and beautiful!!!!
Thanks for sharing your beautiful pics!!
Oh yeah cruise life is so chill. All you need is shorts, tans, swimsuits and a few dresses and you are set. Stress free packing.
And so glad you are planning to cruise again!!
I did everything except trivia and going on excursions. I hung out at the beach
eventually I'd love to go to Greece. Thinking about going somewhere for winter break but idk yet.
lavaflow99
In search of the next vacation
Oooh Mediterranean cruise maybe?
Greece is breathtaking. Will go back there in a heartbeat.
CoiledOrchids
Well-Known Member
yes that sounds like fun.
I like traveling. I just don't like when the plane takes off.
I want to try an all inclusive resort as well
CoiledOrchids
Well-Known Member
what's everyone planning to do this weekend?
TrulyBlessed
Well-Known Member
yaya24
❤️ Libra☼Gemini ☾ Sagittarius ⇗
I went to Vegas Thursday night got back early this morning.
I went for the shows and just to do touristy chill vibes.
Michael Jackson One Cirque du Soleil show was soo good.
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CoiledOrchids
Well-Known Member
yassss. I've never been to Vegas but I heard it's pretty fun!
yaya24
❤️ Libra☼Gemini ☾ Sagittarius ⇗
Vegas is a good time but only for a few days at a time.
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