Single Christian Women's Support - THE REMIX!

Maracujá said:
^^^Thank you so much for sharing @Lucia.

I've fallen prey to predatory men in the past, they were all non-believers. It's normal that I attracted them because I was lukewarm myself. They used me for physical actions, money and sharing parts of my mind that should only be available to my Isaac. The tests become harder as we get older, but that's because God wants to see if we maintain that childlike faith and live up to the expectations He has placed on our love life. Let's continue to share some more tips:yep:.
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bellatiamarie said:
Yes you’re right.... It’s a heart issue. That’s the same thing the Holy Spirit revealed to me in prayer.

Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

I keep getting certain lessons over and over because I don’t listen to God. I try to take the reigns and do it all myself and then I end up falling. I have to conquer this lesson right here because I’m tiiiiied of it :lol: so tired.
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I feel the same way in the sense that I keep getting tempted by all these men especially at my job. I work with a large firm so it's a lot of people and "potential".

This last dude who I thought was cute and interested in getting to know him because we never really had long conversations but enough to peak my interest. So dude gives me his number and I'm low key excited because I thought there was potential. Then one of my coworkers tells me he has a fiance :naughty: :nono: Mind you he told me he was single!

Praise Jesus I didn't fall but it's annoying because I'm tired of dealing with these types of situations. I cried the other night not because of a guy but just being so irritated with meeting men who aren't it. All the while I'm still single. I been single for 4 years and for the most part I was happy in Christ just focused on Him. Now to be honest I'm tired of doing life alone. I want to get married. The older you get the harder it does get. It's really no joke. I'm in constant prayer for The Lord to keep me cause I don't know how much longer I can deal.
 
mscurly said:
I feel the same way in the sense that I keep getting tempted by all these men especially at my job. I work with a large firm so it's a lot of people and "potential".

This last dude who I thought was cute and interested in getting to know him because we never really had long conversations but enough to peak my interest. So dude gives me his number and I'm low key excited because I thought there was potential. Then one of my coworkers tells me he has a fiance :naughty: :nono: Mind you he told me he was single!

Praise Jesus I didn't fall but it's annoying because I'm tired of dealing with these types of situations. I cried the other night not because of a guy but just being so irritated with meeting men who aren't it. All the while I'm still single. I been single for 4 years and for the most part I was happy in Christ just focused on Him. Now to be honest I'm tired of doing life alone. I want to get married. The older you get the harder it does get. It's really no joke. I'm in constant prayer for The Lord to keep me cause I don't know how much longer I can deal.
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@bolded that’s just disgusting really IM disgusted for YOU :barf: why is he even trying you when he’s getting married. What’s the point if marrying her then?

I’m finding that this is a “strange” time where I feel I’m in a good peaceful place with God the enemy is just trying to bait me with all his old bag of tricks to see if I’ll fall for it again. But also God is showing me, you all of us out here single, virtuous for the long haul, that most of these married women and engaged women aren’t getting any prizes just cause they got to the altar before we did, they’re marrying Ishmaels left and right and frankly they can have them- all of them.

Look at your testimony this guy was attractive professional man seems to have his basics together career wise but interiorly a very carnal man with a lustful and polygamous/polyamourous, macho- man, David/Solomon spirit thats on him. He’s ENGAGED to be married to some woman who thinks he’s the next big thing since sliced bread. Just think about what she’s really getting?

Don’t think that just cause he gets married somehow he’ll change and be a faithful husband he has to do the work make that change with Jesus.
Look in my case he’s already married and running around actively pursuing single women, does his wife know who’s in the bed with her every night?

Let’s break it down for both same list:

1. He’s a liar - this is a whopper lie.

2. He’s a cheater cause he should like er um kind of KNOW that he’s actually engaged to be married/married.

3. He obviously doesn’t take marriage seriously as a sacrament or a covenant with consequences attached not only physical, emotional but spiritual as well like he has to answer to God for all his back channeling extracurricular sex he’s pursuing and having.

4. He’s bringing/brought hella soul ties into the relationship that will only leave big gaping doorways for the enemy to step right in and reek havoc in their “married life”.

5. He has no moral authority at all anywhere, or anytime while he’s still beliveing that this is the way to live and living his beliefs basically. He has no authority at all not spiritually not physically or emotionally. Because if he’s living in big sin he’s not going to say a word about it or any other sins going on around him-right? Also, his children if he has them will feel that emotionally and spiritually even if they don’t actually know or have proof of it. Somehow most times animals women (who listen to their God given instincts) and children can feel when someone isn’t genuine.

6. He likes to be trifling and in the middle of drama.

7. He could bring any VD to his unsuspecting fiancée/wife at anytime. Again because he’s a carnal man who can’t control his flesh.

8. Their “marriage “ home is built on a foundation of sand cause Gods not in it.

What we should be looking out for when a man presents himself.
A gentleman we personally find attractive (shouldn’t have to talk yourself into liking him, besides you’re covered God knows what you like ) who’s after Gods own heart, a man who has he qualities that will enable him to:
Lead, cover, take care of and protect his family from everything spiritual, physical and emotional. Not one who will foolishly open the floodgates and invite he enemy to pull up a chair at the family table which is exactly what adultery is.

Just to dig a little deeper into this spiritually some of these side women are the very ones who are cursing his wife children and family that are in the home either by voodoo, babalua, sanataria, macumba? (Brazilian voodoo) Freemason rituals and sorcery, Druid, Wiccan witchcraft, New Age, Eastern religious Hindu Buddhist, Taoist magic/sorcery. Why? Because they’re out to destroy the marriage and take the wife position by any means necessary. All of these so called religions claim to serve a god or many but they all share relative morality ie. amorality cause especially eastern/new age* you pray to yourself, by yourself and for yourself because you’re your own god or godesss and can do “whatever thou whilt” as long as you get yours.

Like for example: true story a man starts an affair at work no one in the home knows but the around same time is his son starts craving porn and self gratifying at 8 yrs old who’s had nothing like that happen before. Worse he’s given them the key to the home and left all the windows and doors wide open by engaging in this kind of extramarital activities.

For me This also goes for men with live in girlfriends aka in house cookies, and or baby mamas cause these women are deceived most times and pretty much believe he’s proposing (whether or not he actually will???) or has proposed and they’ll be getting married soon it’s all messy and full of drama and confusion bottom line he’s not from God and that’s all I need to know and I’m done.
I went long winded but I’m so sick of this you’re an attractive professional Christian woman who deserves better and better will come. Please don’t give up the enemy knows when God is moving things in the spirit realm on our behalves.

Remember the counterfeit Ishmael comes before the promised one Issaac. Ruth had to go through conversion, death of a husband, move to a new country before she met Boaz. Sarah lost 7 husbands before Tobit and the angel Rafael in disguise brought her out of oppression. I’m not saying you need to go through all that but start saying warfare prayers for your prolonged singleness to end in a Godly fruitful prosperous marriage and start warfare praying blessing praying etc... for your God appointed husband.
And when a good potential suitor shows up get private confirmation from God and the HS best not to tell anyone or even write that detailed confirmation down or say it out loud so you know he’s from God and not the enemy.

May God bless you and keep you and may God shine his face upon you. Amen!


*Eastern/New Age Movement (NAM) are basically the same New Age is really old age Hinduism Buddhism Pantheism Paganism Eastern religions repackeged with Christian terms to be western world friendly and a lot of us are drinking that kool aid. That you can be a god line is as old as Genesis Chapter 3. Now Thanks to Oprah and many others (like the local yoga instructor at the Y) who’s doing a dangerous fusion of Christianity and New Age creating her own personal designer religion. She’s straying and taking millions with her.
 
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Lucia said:
@bolded that’s just disgusting really IM disgusted for YOU :barf: why is he even trying you when he’s getting married. What’s the point if marrying her then?

I’m finding that this is a “strange” time where I feel I’m in a good peaceful place with God the enemy is just trying to bait me with all his old bag of tricks to see if I’ll fall for it again. But also God is showing me, you all of us out here single, virtuous for the long haul, that most of these married women and engaged women aren’t getting any prizes just cause they got to the altar before we did, they’re marrying Ishmaels left and right and frankly they can have them- all of them.

Look at your testimony this guy was attractive professional man seems to have his basics together career wise but interiorly a very carnal man with a lustful and polygamous/polyamourous, macho- man, David/Solomon spirit thats on him. He’s ENGAGED to be married to some woman who thinks he’s the next big thing since sliced bread. Just think about what she’s really getting?

Don’t think that just cause he gets married somehow he’ll change and be a faithful husband he has to do the work make that change with Jesus.
Look in my case he’s already married and running around actively pursuing single women, does his wife know who’s in the bed with her every night?
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Yes! At the bold points and everything you mentioned.

When I heard he was engaged I truly felt sorry for this woman. I'm sure she's sitting back happily thinking she's about to get married to this "great guy" and he's at work flirting with other women smh.

The even sadder part of it is, I know I'm not the first or the last. I won't ever understand why men try and start new relationships or "situationships" while they are currently with someone. It's purely selfish because they could care less who they hurt in the process. Why are you still with that person if you're so unhappy??? Stay single if you want to date around. People like to have their cake and eat it too.

I'm so over men like this. I'm trying not to get the point where I feel like all men are like that. I know there has to be some good ones out there but it seems like they're far and few.
 
"Flesh produces flesh. Spirit produces spirit." I keep running into this quote in different places and ways. Was just thinking about the Tisha Campbell and Duane Martin divorce and it made me think of something my pastor said: the enemy doesn't mind giving you 20 or 40 years of marriage, what he will not give you, is an eternity of marriage.
 
bellatiamarie said:
Holy Spirit just placed on my heart that during this waiting period as singles we should be seeking, serving, and submitting to Him.

I’ve been waiting but quite frankly that is all I’ve been doing.
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True and I'm doing that and have been for a while now. I serve in my church and other ministries and continue to seek Him. I honestly think for me its His timing. I can't force it.
 
How's everyone doing? Lately I've been finding solace in the thought that, in 7 years I'll be old enough to date a man in his early 50s. Hoping I'm one of those women who finds love later on in life.

Was at my niece's birthday this weekend and my family members started talking about relationships and mentioning everyone that's booed up. Made me understand why the Bible often refers to infertile women as 'deserted':lol:.
 
Maracujá said:
How's everyone doing? Lately I've been finding solace in the thought that, in 7 years I'll be old enough to date a man in his early 50s. Hoping I'm one of those women who finds love later on in life.

Was at my niece's birthday this weekend and my family members started talking about relationships and mentioning everyone that's booed up. Made me understand why the Bible often refers to infertile women as 'deserted':lol:.
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You don’t want a “boo” every other guy off the street can be a boo don’t let all that talk get to you focus on you and Jesus, get out and do things you’re passionate about new things you’d like to try, you’ll meet new people and widen your acquaintance circle, you want a godly husband believe that Gods promises always come happen.
 
From the outside, people think I live a fulfilling life. What they don’t know is that these are all desperate attempts to get rid of this constant feeling of emptiness.
 
Lucia said:
You don’t want a “boo” every other guy off the street can be a boo don’t let all that talk get to you focus on you and Jesus, get out and do things you’re passionate about new things you’d like to try, you’ll meet new people and widen your acquaintance circle, you want a godly husband believe that Gods promises always come happen.
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Thanks for the reminder! There's a Singles' Retreat I'll be attending in about a week, after that I'll be going to the capital city, to an exhibit on Still Life art. Even married folks in the church are encouraging me to go out and L-I-V-E! :lol:


TwoSnapsUp said:
From the outside, people think I live a fulfilling life. What they don’t know is that these are all desperate attempts to get rid of this constant feeling of emptiness.
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Very sorry to read this. Don't know what your particular situation is, but when I feel like that, it's usually because I'm trying to live up to someone else's idea/expectation of what it means to be 'fulfilled'. When I define it for myself and live it out, I feel much better in my own skin.

This may mean doing things by yourself sometimes, but like Lucia mentioned: you'll meet people of your ilk. Kinda like how we stumbled on this here forum:lol:, it's truly an oasis in the middle of a desert:yep:. If you're on social media a lot, take a break from it. And start dreaming again, like when we were little and looked at magazines and would just mentally buy everything lmbo. Another thing I do is just be appreciative of what I already have and how much I've accomplished so far. It's no easy feat, but He's here to guide us through the journey.
 
mscurly said:
Is this a retreat your church is hosting or something else?

I ask because I'm looking for Christian retreats to attend
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Yes, a sister church in Wallonia + another church. It’s the second year they’re hosting, but it will be my first time attending it.
 
mscurly said:
Yes! At the bold points and everything you mentioned.

When I heard he was engaged I truly felt sorry for this woman. I'm sure she's sitting back happily thinking she's about to get married to this "great guy" and he's at work flirting with other women smh.

The even sadder part of it is, I know I'm not the first or the last. I won't ever understand why men try and start new relationships or "situationships" while they are currently with someone. It's purely selfish because they could care less who they hurt in the process. Why are you still with that person if you're so unhappy??? Stay single if you want to date around. People like to have their cake and eat it too.

I'm so over men like this. I'm trying not to get the point where I feel like all men are like that. I know there has to be some good ones out there but it seems like they're far and few.
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Another thing to do is to review yourself especially your childhood and teens see if you may be repeating an unhealthy patten or have some negative recording playing in your head that you subconsciously believe that is attracting these unavailable men. You’ll have to pay close attention to your thoughts and what you say. Like how some people make a little mistake like wrong spelling and then out loud call themselves stupid, that’s a negative track already playing in their head and they are cursing themselves with it lol the time and it came from someone or something.
Here’s some more: I’m not good enough I’m not worthy I’m just this or that a handsome Godly Christian man who will be a good provider husband won’t want me once he gets to know the real me, etc... really anything that’s playing in your head doesn’t mater where it came from the fact that it stuck in your head is all you need to know for now. You can get to the root later sometimes you may never remember it or know how it got stuck in your head so ask the HS to help you by revealing the truth so you can uproot the cause. you have to disagree with it and cast it down in Jesus name.
HTH
 
I know this or an similar article was posted already upthread I thought it’s a good blog article and needs reposting.

http://www.tanikafitzgerald.com/dont-be-deceived-by-ishmael-wait-for-your-isaac/


Don’t be Deceived by Ishmael…Wait for Your Isaac!
March 21, 2016 • 3 Comments
Dont-be-Deceived-by-Ishmael...Wait-for-Your-Isaac.jpg
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

If there’s one thing I know about, it’s waiting. The irony is that I am impatient in many ways which probably explains why I often find myself in a waiting season. When I was in my twenties, I was ready to get married (at least I thought so), but it seemed as if it was happening for everyone around me, except me! It would be years before God made the presentation of my husband. It seemed like it took FOREVER, but now that I am married, I see that God’s timing was perfect as always. I shared my testimony of letting go and waiting on God in an article I penned for Hope for Women Magazine and our testimony of walking in purity was shared as well. Since I have gotten married, hundreds of women have reached out to me asking the questions that I once asked: “How did you know Maurice was the one & what did you do while waiting?” When I answer these questions for women, the story of Abraham, Isaac and Ishmael comes to mind. What happens when we take matters into our own hands? We end up with a counterfeit version of the promises of God. Let’s dive in a bit deeper into the biblical account of this family.

God made a promise to Abraham, the father of faith. God promised him that he would make him the father of a great nation and that through him all the nations of the earth would be blessed (Genesis 12:1-3). In order for this promise to be fulfilled, God had to bless Abraham with a son. Abraham was old in age and Sarah, his wife, was barren. In fact, she laughed when told that she would one day bear a son. They knew that God could do it, but they could not fathom it according to their natural circumstances. God worked according to His time in fulfilling the promise He made to His children. Abraham and Sarah began to grow impatient waiting for their manifestation. Abraham reminded God that he was getting old and that his only possible heir would be his servant Eliezer. He thought that maybe God would allow him to make Eliezer the heir since his promised son had not yet come to pass. Doubt and fear started to come into play. Does that sound familiar to you? Maybe Abraham felt that God has forgot about him. But God reassured him that His covenant would be fulfilled. his descendants would be so many that he could never count them! God hasn’t forgotten about you either. He hears the cries of your heart.

“Then the word of the LORD came to him: “This man will not be your heir, but a son coming from your own body will be your heir.” He took him outside and said, “Look up at the heavens and count the stars—if indeed you can count them.” Then he said to him, “So shall your offspring be.” (Genesis 15:4-5)

Sarah (then Sarai) grew tired and frustrated when God’s promise had not come to pass after a long wait. She told Abraham to go and get Hagar (the maidservant) and bear a child with her. Abraham in his weariness agreed. Their action showed a lack of faith that God would fulfill His promise. Ishmael was born but he was not the promised son from God!

Both Abraham & Sarah acted outside of God’s will. A lack of faith creates a series of problems. This happens when we take matters into our own hands instead of waiting on God to do it. We attempt to make his promises come to pass through efforts that are not in line with His specific directions nor His Word. Time may be the greatest test of our willingness to let God work in our lives. Sometimes we must simply wait. When we want something so bad we can become blind and make a trick from Satan (Ishmael) seem like a blessing from God. We can want something (or someone) to be what we have been praying for so bad that we ignore The Holy Spirit whispering “That isn’t God’s promise for you”. We often miss the red flags. Remember that whenever you are outside the will of God, you are also missing out on the best that God has for you!

What are you believing God for? Does it seem like it is taking FOREVER to come to pass? Are others around you being blessed and you feel like God has forgotten about you? He hasn’t! Do you feel like some prayers work fast and others take too long? Are you growing weary and ready to take matters into your own hands? I caution you to build up your faith and remain in your season of waiting until God is ready to bring you out of it. When you move out of season, the season will only last longer. Don’t delay your blessings any longer. Let God bring upon the manifestation of His promises in His timing. You may not be ready yet. He may be molding you with the ability to handle the blessing. Your blessing may not be at its best or ready for God to present it to you. In this season, give God your best so that He will return His best to you. While you are waiting, develop and deepen your relationship with God. God will never bring someone into your life that has the potential to become an idol in your life. When we become so focused on wanting something in our natural lives, it is easy for us to decrease our focus on our spiritual relationship. God knows what you need and when you need it. Make Him your number one priority! We should be so into God that he has to interrupt us serving Him just to bless us!

We all make mistakes but “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

Don’t want something so bad that you move outside of God’s will. Beware! Satan will send you an Ishmael! Be patient & wait for the Isaac that God promised you!

It will be so much greater than anything that you can go and get on your own. The next time you receive what or who you think is a blessing, take it to God and ask “Lord, did You send Him?” I can tell you from my own experiences that He will show you and it will happen fast! When /if you get the answer that the “blessing” is not from Him, RUN RUN RUN or you will delay the manifestation of His promise. God can’t bring you an Isaac when you have an Ishmael in its place!

Until Next Time,

TF-Logo.png
 
mscurly said:
Yes Holy Spirit always sends me a bunch of warnings if a man isn't it. Now whether or not I've always listened is another story. :(
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That’s a great point did you pray for dicernment or clarity or confirmation of you should date a guy or not? TIA
 
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What's been on my mind lately: will be turning 33 in about 10 days and am very reflective of course. It's a very special age to me, because it's the age at which Jesus died...to His ego. Also very reflective about having been single for so long, over a decade now. Never planned it of course, but I'm doing alright, go figure.

Life is so funny: when I was in a romantic relationship, which is supposed to be the epitome of happiness according to the world. I was totally miserable. Was being verbally and physically abused. And it was almost as if the whole universe was out of balance to put it this way. Random people would just try to challenge the man I was with physically, to fight with him. Even he mentioned to me that that had never happened to him before. Nice evenings out at the movies or restaurant, which were supposed to be pleasant, would turn out in fights. So I had everything the world says gives you peace...but I had no peace.

Fast forward now and...I have no financial security, no physical security as I live by myself, no car to get around or any of today's real markers of true success...but I have peace. Because it's God's will for my life right now, to be single. Random men stop me and compliment me, even people at my church and work do the same. Whereas when I was in a relationship, I was being put down on a daily basis. Now I understand why Jesus was able to calm down the storm while in the boat with the Apostles. There was mayhem all around them, but because He was there...all was right with the world.
 
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