Single Christian Women's Support - THE REMIX!

Maracujá said:
Starting to feel comfortable as a single after a decade :lol:.

I'm split between whether I should save for later on, should I ever get married. Or just splurge and have fun (travel a lot).
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I'd say both. You should be saving for yourself anyway whether or not you get married. But it's possible to save and still travel.
 
Maracujá said:
You’re absolutely right, but I am challenged in this area. Any tips you care to share?
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One tip is to set it up so a specific percentage or dollar amount of your paycheck automatically gets funneled into a savings account. That way it grows without you thinking about it. And don't touch it! Also if you get any extra money (refund, earnings from a side job, etc) put that in your savings account.

As far as vacations, plan early and look for deals. I travel on the cheap.
 
Warning: bitter post ahead.

Even the most well known black Catholic worship leader has (surprise surprise) a white fiancé:


Seriously it just feels like God has forgotten us :cry:
 
Belle Du Jour said:
Warning: bitter post ahead.

Even the most well known black Catholic worship leader has (surprise surprise) a white fiancé:


Seriously it just feels like God has forgotten us :cry:
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No don’t even entertain that thought, God has someone for you he would not have put that dream on your heart if it wasn’t so. Besides, if they can swirl why can’t we? I’m just saying.
 
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Belle Du Jour said:
Ally has posted like 5 videos with the same message LOL. But I still love the reminder :look:

Not only will he pursue you, but the man God has for you will love everything about you, faults and all. There will be something unique about you that he is drawn to.
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Truly hope so, I'm awkward as all get up :look:.

Here's another blog post that blessed me yesterday:

http://www.blissforsingles.com/hidden-single-woman/
 
Belle Du Jour said:
Ally has posted like 5 videos with the same message LOL. But I still love the reminder :look:

Not only will he pursue you, but the man God has for you will love everything about you, faults and all. There will be something unique about you that he is drawn to.
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I know right, I saw other videos with that same title really Ally just send the new subbies to your old link. :lol:
Yes, I believe that’s true, we’re all unique and FH is looking for 1 unique wife.
 
Perpetual singleness has me feeling like an outsider. On top of that, people just assume that you must have so much time on your hands, when really I have the same daily chores as everyone else, but have to tackle them all by myself.

Oh, have a nice week-end ladies.
 
Today's message at our church solidified my conviction to no longer date.
The lady who preached said that all throughout her life, she's only known one man and had one husband.

I'm younger than her and have dated a few men, I was even intimate with one. I long for that kind of intimacy she has, where pieces of you are not scattered all over the place. But where you're just 'one', as God often refers to Himself in the Bible.
 
Ladies, let's not grow weary of praying for our future love life. I work at a health insurance company and between the phone calls from women I had today, and Mary J. Blige's ex-husband, I'm too through:nono:.
 
Maracujá said:
Truly hope so, I'm awkward as all get up :look:.

Here's another blog post that blessed me yesterday:

http://www.blissforsingles.com/hidden-single-woman/
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I'm awkward as all get out, too, @Maracujá, and several guys liked me enough to marry me.

Awkward people experience love and connection and get married all the time. :yep:

I blossomed a lot when I stopped being so afraid to just be who I am. I still grapple a little with having such a strong personality when the bible calls for quietness, meekness, etc., but that's a whole 'nother issue.

What are your favorite activities? Are there christian groups in your area that engage in those activities from time to time?
 
YvetteWithJoy said:
I'm awkward as all get out, too, @Maracujá, and several guys liked me enough to marry me.

Awkward people experience love and connection and get married all the time. :yep:

I blossomed a lot when I stopped being so afraid to just be who I am. I still grapple a little with having such a strong personality when the bible calls for quietness, meekness, etc., but that's a whole 'nother issue.

What are your favorite activities? Are there christian groups in your area that engage in those activities from time to time?
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This is very comforting and healing, thank you. I am in the process of blossoming, but every time I take a step forward, I get set back two steps. I have a mental illness and struggle a lot with impure and negative thoughts.

I like walking, reading and writing. I had joined a writing group but it got dismantled lol. But you're right, I need to look into a walking group in my area. I love walking in the evenings but am too chicken to do it by myself, it wouldn't be safe imo.
 
Maracujá said:
This is very comforting and healing, thank you. I am in the process of blossoming, but every time I take a step forward, I get set back two steps. I have a mental illness and struggle a lot with impure and negative thoughts.

I like walking, reading and writing. I had joined a writing group but it got dismantled lol. But you're right, I need to look into a walking group in my area. I love walking in the evenings but am too chicken to do it by myself, it wouldn't be safe imo.
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I'm so glad it helped. Yes: Stay safe! Never walk alone. Ever.

One of the best things that happened to me was going off to college where I encountered a ridiculously high proportion of awkward yet happy and successful and social fellow students. I actually started to feel "normal." :lachen:

Once you start safely doing activities with people like you or at least with your same likes, you will start to feel more at ease with who you are -- how God designed and loves you!

When you first start doing activities others, you may make a few social mistakes. You may not. Regardless, keep going. On the 16th I'm meeting up with a meetup for introverted women. I've been awkward in talking with them in the past, and normally I would be to "ashamed" to return. But I have to keep at it. To constantly live inside one's own head, always thinking about oneself, what you have or don't have, how you are or aren't -- constant self-focus and self-analysis is not a practice of happy people.

Getting out there, socializing, volunteering, worshipping, etc. help me settle into comfortable, healthy ways of being.

And it helped me be happy whether single or married.
 
Source: http://natural-fertility-info.com/birth-control-pill-negatively-impacts-fertility.html



Top 5 Ways the Birth Control Pill Negatively Impacts Long-Term Fertility
birthcontrolpill-300x199.jpg
How many women do you know that have taken the birth control pill? More than likely, it is almost all of them. The birth control pill is one of the most prescribed medications in the U.S. and not just for pregnancy prevention. What if I told you that the Pill, while freely taken by most women at some point in their life, may actually not be good for long-term fertility?

Birth control is prescribed for preventing pregnancy and to control acne, but also for a variety of fertility issues such as endometriosis, PCOS, ovarian cysts, pain associated with fertility issues, PMS, and irregular menstrual cycles. Sounds pretty great, right? But, is it?

A simple internet search of the statement how using birth control impacts fertility will lead you to a list of resources that say, to sum up the medical viewpoint, taking an oral contraceptive pill, aka the Pill, will not impact your future fertility.

Older studies (there are very few current studies), as well as articles on the web report that women who use birth control don’t have trouble conceiving naturally after stopping its use and get pregnant just as fast as other women, even if they’ve used birth control for years. In fact, one rather large study in which 2,000+ women reported, titled the European Active Surveillance Study on Oral Contraceptives, concluded that “Previous oral-contraceptive use does not negatively affect initial and 1-year rates of pregnancy after oral-contraceptive cessation…”

Why then, are we seeing very different results with our clients? Each and every day we work with women who have stopped long-term birth control use (anywhere from 1 – 20 years of use) and now have any number of concerning fertility-related symptoms and health issues. Our abundance of case histories have lead us to believe that the answer is most certainly not black and white. We have learned that taking the Pill can negatively impact long-term fertility.

Prolonged use of birth control confuses the body and may negatively impact long-term fertility in the following ways…

1. Menstrual cycle disruption.FertilityFriend.com shares that studies show the following…

  • 10.24% of all first cycles after discontinuing oral contraceptives were not ovulatory (compared with 3.44% of control group).
  • Significant differences also appeared in the second and third cycles after discontinuing oral contraceptives.
  • Cycles were longer in the post-pill group up to cycle number 12.
  • Cycle disturbances (defined as a luteal phase length of less than 10 days or a cycle length greater than 35 days) were more frequent in the post-pill group until the seventh cycle.
  • Cycle disturbances after discontinuing oral contraceptives were reversible but regulation took up to nine months or longer.
2. Hormone imbalance –Synthetic hormone-containing birth control may provide symptom relief, but it does not address the underlying imbalance that is fueling or contributing to the fertility issue being dealt with. What the Pill is doing is introducing synthetic forms of estrogen and progesterone to the body, which then prevent the body’s natural, beneficial hormones from bonding to hormone receptor sites. Introducing synthetic hormones into the body may further exacerbate hormone imbalance by overloading it.

3. Disrupted ovulation – The synthetic hormones contained in birth control regulate release and timing of specific hormones in the body to prevent ovulation. This is not how the normal release of hormones plays out in a naturally occurring menstrual cycle. It is necessary, as you know, to ovulate a mature, healthy follicle (egg) in order to achieve natural pregnancy. The Pill prevents the maturation of a follicle for ovulation, one of the ovaries most important jobs. Over time, the ovaries may “forget” how to do their job on their own because they haven’t been signaled with the right hormones at the correct time in the menstrual cycle.

4. Cervical mucus changes – The Pill has been shown to thicken cervical mucus so that sperm cannot reach the egg. Healthy cervical mucus is important for conception because it helps sperm travel through the vagina and the cervix to meet and fertilize an egg.

5. Changes the uterine lining –The Pill changes the uterine lining to make it unreceptive to the implantation of a fertilized egg. By controlling the body’s estrogen and progesterone levels with synthetic hormones, the Pill does not allow for the proper levels of progesterone to build a healthy uterine lining for implantation.

Many women begin taking the pill at a very young age and don’t stop until they want to begin trying to conceive. The Pill doesn’t cause infertility, but impacts long-term fertility by “silencing a woman’s biological clock for so long that, in some cases, they forget it’s ticking away”. In other cases, women ignore or forget they are dealing with a fertility issue because the symptoms have gone away.

The bottom line is this, women trying to control the symptoms of a fertility issue by taking the Pill are not addressing the underlying imbalance that is fueling, or contributing to the fertility issue.Instead, they are using a synthetic medication to control the symptoms of the problem while simultaneously allowing the body to defy nature.

Too learn more about related subjects covered in this article, please visit the following links:

How to Balance Your Hormones After Birth Control

Increase Cervical Mucous to Get Pregnant


References:
1. Barton, D. How to Balance Your Hormones After Birth Control: http://natural-fertility-info.com/birth-control-fertility.html
2. Birth Control Pills: http://www.healthywomen.org/condition/birth-control-pills
3. Birth Control Side Effects: What you don’t know could hurt you: http://www.floliving.com/birth-control-side-effects/
4. Can birth control now impact pregnancy later?: http://www.today.com/id/19803528/ns...trol-now-impact-pregnancy-later/#.VAoow6M8rB8
5. Crocker, Lizzie: Should You Quit the Pill?: http://www.thedailybeast.com/articl...rth-control-pill-s-negative-side-effects.html
6. Cronin, M. Schellschmidt, I. and Dinger, J. Rate of Pregnancy After Using Drospirenone and Other Progestin-Containing Oral Contraceptives: http://journals.lww.com/greenjourna...regnancy_After_Using_Drospirenone_and.20.aspx
7. Fertility After Oral Contraceptives: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/Faqs/Fertility-After-Oral-Contraceptives.html
 
Maracujá said:
Ladies, let's not grow weary of praying for our future love life. I work at a health insurance company and between the phone calls from women I had today, and Mary J. Blige's ex-husband, I'm too through:nono:.
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It never fails, every time I'm ready to throw in the towel and stop "bothering" God about my desire to become a wife and mother, the reading at Mass is about persevering in prayer. Recently it was from Romans 12. :yep: So I take it as a sign to keep going. I don't know why it's taking this long, but I trust in God and as time passes, I feel more confident that He WILL answer this prayer, because He placed the desire in my heart. Yes, let's keep moving forward, staying in step with God and not getting too far ahead of Him. He will give us the grace to get through each day. :yep:
 
Belle Du Jour said:
It never fails, every time I'm ready to throw in the towel and stop "bothering" God about my desire to become a wife and mother, the reading at Mass is about persevering in prayer. Recently it was from Romans 12. :yep: So I take it as a sign to keep going. I don't know why it's taking this long, but I trust in God and as time passes, I feel more confident that He WILL answer this prayer, because He placed the desire in my heart. Yes, let's keep moving forward, staying in step with God and not getting too far ahead of Him. He will give us the grace to get through each day. :yep:
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Yes, it's not easy. But looking at marriages around me, I notice how the enemy will give with one hand and steal with the other. So you may have children, but not all of them are completely healthy. Or you may have a good relationship with your spouse, but his family can't stand you. Or you have financial woes all the time. God says that when He gives, He doesn't add any sorrow to it.

Pray about any specific area God might be showing you. And don't dismiss the flaws people point out in your life (Song of Songs 2:15). Choose the life that He wants for you, not the one you're concocting in your head. The spirit of self-sabotage is deep and resides in all of us, we don't believe God actually wants to bless us.

Lately I've been thinking about my sister A LOT. Here is the story she could have been relating to her future children: your father first met Maracujá at a concert, while they were waiting outside. A few weeks later we met and started dating, unbeknownst to us that he had already met my sister. Your father wanted me to get out of the life of living paycheck to paycheck, he wanted to start his own business. He had a hard time finishing college and finding employment, but he was extremely kindhearted. He stood by us when our mother started having mental health issues and was a comic relief every Sunday when he came to visit us, even though we did not attend church back then. He also stood by us when Maracujá started having mental health issues and advised her to go to the Lord, which she's now been doing for close to a decade.

Instead, here's the story my sister settled for: I met your father on Tinder, we met up and moved in with one another in less than a year. There's no real fizzle in our relationship, but at least we travel all the time and the one thing we really have in common is that his mother also had mental health issues. We don't have major health issues, our finances are great, he doesn't push me to become financially free but hey...

Ladies, let's not settle.
 
Maracujá said:
Yes, it's not easy. But looking at marriages around me, I notice how the enemy will give with one hand and steal with the other. So you may have children, but not all of them are completely healthy. Or you may have a good relationship with your spouse, but his family can't stand you. Or you have financial woes all the time. God says that when He gives, He doesn't add any sorrow to it.

Pray about any specific area God might be showing you. And don't dismiss the flaws people point out in your life (Song of Songs 2:15). Choose the life that He wants for you, not the one you're concocting in your head. The spirit of self-sabotage is deep and resides in all of us, we don't believe God actually wants to bless us.

Lately I've been thinking about my sister A LOT. Here is the story she could have been relating to her future children: your father first met Maracujá at a concert, while they were waiting outside. A few weeks later we met and started dating, unbeknownst to us that he had already met my sister. Your father wanted me to get out of the life of living paycheck to paycheck, he wanted to start his own business. He had a hard time finishing college and finding employment, but he was extremely kindhearted. He stood by us when our mother started having mental health issues and was a comic relief every Sunday when he came to visit us, even though we did not attend church back then. He also stood by us when Maracujá started having mental health issues and advised her to go to the Lord, which she's now been doing for close to a decade.

Instead, here's the story my sister settled for: I met your father on Tinder, we met up and moved in with one another in less than a year. There's no real fizzle in our relationship, but at least we travel all the time and the one thing we really have in common is that his mother also had mental health issues. We don't have major health issues, our finances are great, he doesn't push me to become financially free but hey...

Ladies, let's not settle.
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Wow, thanks for sharing this. It really hit home for me because I realize that I could have settled and I didn’t know what was on the other side of getting married to that guy, but God knew. Maybe his family would be against it while smiling in my face, he was a self admitted cheater who claimed he changed his ways, (that turned out to be a lie) and other little red flags I choose to ignore excusing them away with “well nobody’s perfect”. He’s a hard working professional man, educated, yada, yada.

Recently God has had me witness the inner workings of other people’s relationships, seeing beyond that facade they want to project and I now understand most times if your having to break down impossible doors and fight for every inch in a relationship, God isn’t in that, it’s all you and your ego, and it’s God's way of telling you this isn’t it. Yes there’s are some tests, trials obstacles but if every little thing is a fight or a struggle then maybe it’s not meant to be.

It’s really easy to get caught up thinking of settling when there aren’t any big red flags or obvious deal breakers, (like he’s a drug addict or woman beater, insert whatever scenario here, etc...) especially when “everyone else is getting engaged and married” well like you point out on the surface things may look great but settling robs the woman of Gods greatness, it robs the man of Gods greatness any children that come from that union as well. It’s not that there bad people or anything they just settled for what we alone think good enough, when God has and wants greatness for all of us. We should and must stay in prayer and get confirmation from the HS cause God knows, He sees into the hearts of men and knows what the real situation is and will be like if you step into that life.
Of course we have free will and if we choose wrong guess what God is a gentleman the ultimate gentleman and He will respect our decision and let the consequences from that play out always offering little nudges messages to let us know He’s there waiting for us to make our lives better especially if and when we’ve messed up.
 
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Lucia said:
Wow, thanks for sharing this. It really hit home for me because I realize that I could have settled and I didn’t know what was on the other side of getting married to that guy, but God knew. Maybe his family would be against it while smiling in my face, he was a self admitted cheater who claimed he changed his ways, (that turned out to be a lie) and other little red flags I choose to ignore excusing them away with “well nobody’s perfect”. He’s a hard working professional man, educated, yada, yada.

Recently God has had me witness the inner workings of other people’s relationships, seeing beyond that facade they want to project and I now understand most times if your having to break down impossible doors and fight for every inch in a relationship, God isn’t in that, it’s all you and your ego, and it’s God's way of telling you this isn’t it. Yes there’s are some tests, trials obstacles but if every little thing is a fight or a struggle then maybe it’s not meant to be.

It’s really easy to get caught up thinking of settling when there aren’t any big red flags or obvious deal breakers, (like he’s a drug addict or woman beater, insert whatever scenario here, etc...) especially when “everyone else is getting engaged and married” well like you point out on the surface things may look great but settling robs the woman of Gods greatness, it robs the man of Gods greatness any children that come from that union as well. It’s not that there had people or anything they just settled for what we alone think good enough, when God has and wants greatness for all of us. We should and must stay inorayer and get confirmation from the HS cause God knows, He sees into the hearts of men and knows what the real situation is and will be like if you step into that life.
Of course we have free will and if we choose wrong guess what God is a gentleman the ultimate gentleman and He will respect our decision and let the consequences from that play out always offering little nudges messages to let us know He’s there waiting for us to make our lives better especially if and when we’ve messed up.
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I read / heard this somewhere and it's lingering in me: God will never make you choose between what is good and what is bad, that would be too easy. He will always make you choose between what is good and what is best.

Orpah chose something good (=marriage). Ruth chose something better (= a legacy).
 
Lucia said:
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I just came in here to post this! Glad to see that it's already been posted. This video just came up in my "Up Next' videos while I was watching a clip of a TV show, but I had never seen her videos before. I scrolled through her other videos and saved some to my 'Watch Later'.
 
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