Single Christian Women's Support - THE REMIX!
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Lucia
Well-Known Member
Dating just for entertainment, no purpose, or just cause your bored and don't want to, or can't be alone that doesn't seem to line up with Christian dating/courtship. Having a group of men your not really into, juggling them around just to pass the time doesn't seem right to me. I know women have male friends and nothing is going on, that's different. I think that if you're friends with a guy first no dating or courting he can get to know you and you him some (no intimacy of course) before you court. We do have to weed out the chaff from the wheat just not all at the same time multiple dating does train one to be a player or set you up for divorce because you never really commit to anyone even for a short time. Sometimes having a lot of options isn't so great when it's time to choose the right one for you.
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kanozas
se ven las caras pero nunca el corazón
I agree. I mean, going on a date with a diff. guy and it's innocent and you determine it's not going to work is something different. You're open to keep on going to get to know new people. I think "in rotation" is "friends with benefits" according to some people I know. I kinda hesitated to write on it because people might read it and think it's judgmental but it's a preference. I'm not talking about Phang (never read her) but the other thing. and people have even recommended it for me in my persona life.
Once, someone said, "How do you manage having men overnight when you have kids?" Well, I DON'T DO ANY OF THAT! Geez. It does make you wonder how long we have to wait and all these folks are out here fornicating willy-nilly like there's nothing to pay eventually. . But anyhoo...in G-d's will and in His time..may the right one come along!! I sincerely hate the process...the unknown and "hoping." Oh gosh.
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Lucia
Well-Known Member
I agree. I mean, going on a date with a diff. guy and it's innocent and you determine it's not going to work is something different. You're open to keep on going to get to know new people. I think "in rotation" is "friends with benefits" according to some people I know. I kinda hesitated to write on it because people might read it and think it's judgmental but it's a preference. I'm not talking about Phang (never read her) but the other thing. and people have even recommended it for me in my persona life.
That's why I had to drop some so called friends, their world view and perspective was going to far into relative morality for me, not lining up with being Christian even though they claim to be Christian.
A lot of people just don't fear God anymore, or believe his words to be blunt. Some don't know his word so they can't then make an informed decision, some avoid reading the word on purpose cause they know they'll have to stop living how they're living now. While others think it's just old fashioned "tradition" and not really what He said and many misinterpretations etc.
Btw I don't know who or what phang us either?
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Belle Du Jour
Well-Known Member
Agreed. That would be using people.
Dating should be for the purpose of gathering data about potential mates along the pathway of getting married. Unless you're in a situation where you can get to know a guy through ministry or an organization or school, most likely you will be getting to know him via dating. Unfortunately, a lot of women get emotionally attached and get ahead of the guy--this is where the "rotation" comes in. Even in pre-dating times, a woman entertained multiple suitors until the best man stepped up. I think once a man has decided that he wants to become exclusive, the it's time to make a choice. For me, dating doesn't mean any level of physical intimacy with a man. Also I don't think simply dating is practicing for divorce. Now getting in and out of relationships with people and creating relationship bonds is without a doubt a setup for divorce.
kanozas
se ven las caras pero nunca el corazón
IT was a dating blog or book/recommendations elsewhere. I hope Belle didn't think I was referencing her (I never read it) when I said "in rotation." Rather, what was in the back of my mind was how I described it pertaining to the "moralist" point of view or the polyandrous type of relationships.
kanozas
se ven las caras pero nunca el corazón
I have a little testimony and it occurred last Friday and has lasted to this Monday. I was so very excited. Thought that part of my heart was truly dead even though I was verbally going through the motions of wanting to be married (again). MY HEART IS STILL BEATING AGAIN! This is all just part of G-d's providence and words of affirmation to me, part of his ...should I say promise...???...to restore me. I haven't stopped smiling. Today, another word of affirmation that healing is near. I just wanted to share with someone. "Tell your heart to beat again..." Hold on, whatever it is, you are in His plans. :
Danny Gokey Lyrics
"Tell Your Heart To Beat Again"
You're shattered
Like you've never been before
The life you knew
In a thousand pieces on the floor
And words fall short in times like these
When this world drives you to your knees
You think you're never gonna get back
To the you that used to be
Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday's a closing door
You don't live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you've been
And tell your heart to beat again
Beginning
Just let that word wash over you
It's alright now
Love's healing hands have pulled you through
So get back up, take step one
Leave the darkness, feel the sun
Cause your story's far from over
And your journey's just begun
Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday's a closing door
You don't live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you've been
And tell your heart to beat again
Let every heartbreak
And every scar
Be a picture that reminds you
Who has carried you this far
'Cause love sees farther than you ever could
In this moment heaven's working
Everything for your good
Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday's a closing door
You don't live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you've been
And tell your heart to beat again
Your heart to beat again
Beat again
Oh, so tell your heart to beat again
Danny Gokey Lyrics
"Tell Your Heart To Beat Again"
You're shattered
Like you've never been before
The life you knew
In a thousand pieces on the floor
And words fall short in times like these
When this world drives you to your knees
You think you're never gonna get back
To the you that used to be
Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday's a closing door
You don't live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you've been
And tell your heart to beat again
Beginning
Just let that word wash over you
It's alright now
Love's healing hands have pulled you through
So get back up, take step one
Leave the darkness, feel the sun
Cause your story's far from over
And your journey's just begun
Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday's a closing door
You don't live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you've been
And tell your heart to beat again
Let every heartbreak
And every scar
Be a picture that reminds you
Who has carried you this far
'Cause love sees farther than you ever could
In this moment heaven's working
Everything for your good
Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday's a closing door
You don't live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you've been
And tell your heart to beat again
Your heart to beat again
Beat again
Oh, so tell your heart to beat again
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Maracujá
November 2020 --> 14 years natural!!!
This is not written from a Christian viewpoint, but I still enjoyed it. Please don't stone me lol:
http://theeverygirl.com/why-being-single-in-your-30s-is-incredible/
http://theeverygirl.com/why-being-single-in-your-30s-is-incredible/
Lucia
Well-Known Member
kanozas
se ven las caras pero nunca el corazón
It is and this remains today. I'm very grateful for it. Even diff plans have emerged and a renewed sense is developing!
Maracujá
November 2020 --> 14 years natural!!!
That part about both families getting along, yeah, that's what I keep thinking/praying about lately. Things flow more easily that way and I know it's possible because I've seen it happen in my own family.
Do not ignore prayer for this area, some women are going through hell because of their in-laws
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Divine.
Well-Known Member
This summer I went to New Jersey, New York, and DC. I have been enjoying traveling more!
bellatiamarie
Well-Known Member
I went to Jamaica. It's the perfect getaway for singles. I love that place. I'm not Jamaican but it feels like home when I go there not sure why. I'll be going back in October!
question-
I started dating a man who after meeting him I immediately began to pray for discernment regarding whether he was someone the Lord had for me. We moved very slowly. Regarding the dating- I fasted, journaled, went to service daily during my lunch hour, all praying for clarity and overall just tried to stay more connected with God's voice than my own desire (to be in a relationship). Fast forward 4 months- the guy told me to my face that "There is no King God, that God is inside of Me and inside of You". I also found out that same day he had a girlfriend the entire time, and that she's a preacher's daughter.
Needless to say I was crushed. I was also grateful to God, and I thanked God for answering my prayers of discernment and I stopped speaking to this man immediately.
So that all was revealed about 3 months ago. and today I feel hurt. and I don't know why, because, I don't want to be with a lying manipulating man who does not believe in the Lord. I feel bad for her, but I feel bad for myself too (and guilty about that) - apparently he took her on a tour of Europe and is living his 'best life'. I know appearances aren't everything, but gosh it gets hard when it seems like people who are cruel to others prosper.
after typing all of that I don't remember what my question is. I guess I'm just venting
ETA: since she's a person of faith isn't the Holy Spirit telling her that he's not a good man? Is it possible God would send this lying cheating man to her? I thought God does not give broken gifts.
I started dating a man who after meeting him I immediately began to pray for discernment regarding whether he was someone the Lord had for me. We moved very slowly. Regarding the dating- I fasted, journaled, went to service daily during my lunch hour, all praying for clarity and overall just tried to stay more connected with God's voice than my own desire (to be in a relationship). Fast forward 4 months- the guy told me to my face that "There is no King God, that God is inside of Me and inside of You". I also found out that same day he had a girlfriend the entire time, and that she's a preacher's daughter.
Needless to say I was crushed. I was also grateful to God, and I thanked God for answering my prayers of discernment and I stopped speaking to this man immediately.
So that all was revealed about 3 months ago. and today I feel hurt. and I don't know why, because, I don't want to be with a lying manipulating man who does not believe in the Lord. I feel bad for her, but I feel bad for myself too (and guilty about that) - apparently he took her on a tour of Europe and is living his 'best life'. I know appearances aren't everything, but gosh it gets hard when it seems like people who are cruel to others prosper.
after typing all of that I don't remember what my question is. I guess I'm just venting
ETA: since she's a person of faith isn't the Holy Spirit telling her that he's not a good man? Is it possible God would send this lying cheating man to her? I thought God does not give broken gifts.
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Ms. Tarabotti
Well-Known Member
She may be a preachers daughter but are you sure that she is a person of faith? We assume that people who grow up in the church, are preachers kids or have any connection to the church are people of faith but that might not be the case.
She may not have asked for discernment regarding her dating life. Sad to say, many Christian women are so wrapped up in having a man that they don't ask God is this the man for me? They don't ask if the man is a true Christian ( some men know just enough 'religious' talk to make you think that they know God when all they are doing is spouting a lot of nonsense). It may seem that she is living the life now but she is with a man who has shown himself to be a liar and a manipulator. God does not take these things lightly and sooner or later they both must answer for their actions. It is hard to see how God works when all we can see from the outside is evil prospering while good seems to languish. We can't see the brokenness that some actions may bring. Because you asked God to show you the truth about this man, you were spared major heartache down the road. It hurts now but you might have experienced a greater hurt if you had continued with this relationship.
Thank you
She has a tattoo that says "faith" which she took a photo of and they posted it on his Instagram in response to a private letter I wrote her telling her that for the past few months he had been dating me and that I just learned about her and was sorry and that I thought she should know. She said she has faith. They are still together.
blessedandfavoured
Well-Known Member
Truly, the Lord is found of those who seek Him! I praise God with you that He delivered you from a wolf. The Holy Spirit will guide us into all truth - praise the Lord.
This is not faith, this is foolishness. She is lying to herself, or she is as bad as he is. Either way, unless Jesus intervenes, the end result will be needless suffering.
Divine.
Well-Known Member
@laCriolla There is a difference between knowing of God and having a personal relationship with him. When you have a personal relationship with God, overtime you distinctly know his voice. I was in the church my entire life and although I identified as a Christian, I did not know God at all. I found myself in a lot of dysfunctional relationships because of it. Men I thought were "good' turned out to be the worst decisions I made.
It could also be that she is choosing not heed the Holy Spirit's promptings. I have done this as well and had to deal with the consequences of not being obedient. If you ask me, this man isn't worthy of the pedestal you're putting him on. Neither is this girl he is dating. There are a lot of assumptions being made.
I went through something similar. As hard as it was, I had to make the decision that I was going to worry about myself and get healed. I could not put energy into the what ifs and whys. Why her? Why am I not enough but she is? I had to battle so many emotions of jealousy, bitterness, grief, etc. But I decided to give all of it to God and learn to forgive this man. I forgave him daily and did not give up until it stuck. To this day, I am intentional about forgiving him when a negative thought crosses my mind.
It could also be that she is choosing not heed the Holy Spirit's promptings. I have done this as well and had to deal with the consequences of not being obedient. If you ask me, this man isn't worthy of the pedestal you're putting him on. Neither is this girl he is dating. There are a lot of assumptions being made.
I went through something similar. As hard as it was, I had to make the decision that I was going to worry about myself and get healed. I could not put energy into the what ifs and whys. Why her? Why am I not enough but she is? I had to battle so many emotions of jealousy, bitterness, grief, etc. But I decided to give all of it to God and learn to forgive this man. I forgave him daily and did not give up until it stuck. To this day, I am intentional about forgiving him when a negative thought crosses my mind.
thank you! where are the assumptions?
Divine.
Well-Known Member
That this guy is a "gift" to this other woman. This guy may not be in God's will for this other woman either. I highly doubt that God had anything to do with this union. The enemy could've sent him to get her distracted. Not every person you date will be God's best.
The other thing to consider is if this man isn't believer, then we can't assume that God is at the center of this relationship.
What you can be sure of is that God does not lie and he is faithful. God showed you the truth about this man because he loves you. If you believe this to be true as well, you have to rest in this closed door.
you're right. you're so right
Divine.
Well-Known Member
@laCriolla I know how hard it is not having all the answers! But you have hold on to what you know to be true. If you ever need to vent or just somebody to talk to, feel free to message me 
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