Single Christian Women's Support - THE REMIX!

Belle Du Jour said:
I've been down the past few days about my single staus, but I think I'm starting to climb out of it. Please pray for me :yep:
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Belle, stay strong sister. If someone told me this a couple of month ago I'd look at them sideways but he's there, God is molding him to me the right match for you and molding you to be the right match for him. :hug2:
 
mz.rae said:
Thank you! I'm starting to think so too, I know that if he does pop back up I will not be giving him another chance.
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There are wolves in sheep clothing everywhere. Really disappointing smh. At least he showed you his true colours from early on.
 
I was in a relationship with someone, a fellow believer, but we lost sight of God in things. I will be moving today across the country and we decided to end things here. When I return in a few months, we will consider starting again, but the RIGHT way with the Lord at the center, where He should be and should have been from the beginning.

I care deeply about this man, but God has really shown me some things I need to work on in myself before I go any further in a relationship with anyone. This is my spiritual and heart exile and I believe the Lord will return me to where I'm supposed to be. So I'm stepping out in obedience. If this man is to be my husband then so be it. If not, I'd rather stop here than try to force something that's not in the Lord's will for either of us.
 
So... the ex that I've mentioned to you guys in previous posts was killed on his birthday in July. I'm still trying to deal with all of this. I'm still trying find my way through it all so I can't talk too much about it but God is teaching me some stuff right now. He's opening my eyes to A LOT! I can't fathom or believe any of this... pray for me ladies. I'm not ready to give the full testimony yet because I'm still in the test. But I know God will get ALL of the glory when it's all said and done! I pray y'all are doing well.
 
I normally post in the other single ladies thread, but I'll post here today. I'm not discouraged, but I'm starting to become a tad bit envious of everyone else getting a mate, and the facebook relationship updates, and babies popping up (definitely don't want babies now). But I've just been twiddling my thumbs lately like "okay, You can send my husband now lol." I've been trying to speak positively and remind myself of what I used to be won't prevent me from having someone. It'll just take time. le sigh.

ETA: I'm tired of chasing people too. My chasing days are over with.
 
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whosthatgurl said:
I normally post in the other single ladies thread, but I'll post here today. I'm not discouraged, but I'm starting to become a tad bit envious of everyone else getting a mate, and the facebook relationship updates, and babies popping up (definitely don't want babies now). But I've just been twiddling my thumbs lately like "okay, You can send my husband now lol." I've been trying to speak positively and remind myself of what I used to be won't prevent me from having someone. It'll just take time. le sigh. ETA: I'm tired of chasing people too. My chasing days are over with.
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I know how you feel. I'm about to be my sister's maid of honor for the second time. Yes, she got married, divorced, and engaged before I got married once. And my mother is completely clueless on how this is going to be difficult for me. I'm going to try to get back to my high school weight. If I've got to be the old maid of honor I'm going to at least look good rather than having everyone say they can see why I'm not married. I feel like this point in my life if it doesn't happen soon it won't be happening.
 
I put this in the other single relationship thread, but I'll stick this here too.

**

Well. In a twisted turn of events. While I was throwing a pity party for myself tonight I texted a church member/friend of mine and told him that I was in my feelings and he told me to call him.

I did.

Turned out that he had to get some things off of his chest which included him letting me know that he's been having a crush on me.

I always kind of knew in the back of my head, but brushed it off because you have to literally tell me stuff. But. Yeah. I don't know how to feel right now.

And I mean this morning I was like, nobody values me as a person, blah blah blah blah blah. And he told me some of the sweetest things.

Crazy.
 
I keep attracting the same two types of guys. Online (not online anymore), offline...it doesn't matter. I just want something totally different. In the past two weeks I've turned down two guys that I would have otherwise entertained in the past because I'm just tired of wasting time. If I can't see the guy as my husband I just stop right there. It's frustrating because it seems like year after year it's been the same ole thing. I'm 28 and I just want to at least meet the guy I'm supposed to marry. Not these counterfeits.
 
Hey Beauties!!!

So I have been doing quite well with totally giving over to God!! I have less depressed episodes concerning my relationship status...and the ones I have now are under an 1 hour with most being a mere moment! Everytime Im tempted to think negatively I just remember that it's in God's hands so no bother wasting time/energy mopping around (I talk to myself like this).
I recently wrote a list of what I want to accomplish before 30 and I didn't put marriage/family on it...I said to myself that that decision doesn't belong to me but to God and me putting a time on it will just stress me out and stuff...don't get me wrong, I would LOVE to be married before then but Im really trying to let God write my love story...
 
Heather Lindsey had a really good talk I listened to today on her YouTube about trusting God with your life. It really spoke to me.
 
So me and this guy that the Co pastor tried to get together last year are going to start over. I feel as though last year we weren't ready as well as some other circumstances not really involving him that happened. It's really funny that way before the pastor tried to get us together, when I first started attending this church again and was standing next to him something in my spirit leaped. And then all through last year after the situation that had occurred that had me in my feelings and I would see him in church something kept telling me that this man was going to be my husband. I don't know what it means or what is going on, but ever since last year I have been feeling that in my spirit, though it was getting to a point where I was thinking yeah.... Sure... Probably just me trying to convince myself of something.... But honestly I do not know.
 
DreamLife said:
Heather Lindsey had a really good talk I listened to today on her YouTube about trusting God with your life. It really spoke to me.
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I listened last night as well. Very powerful. I just need to do it. Ugh. So weak though, the spirit of loneliness is powerful. Silence can be so loud.
 
I want to encourage you ladies to continue finding contentment in whatever season you're in. Not being defined by your relationship status is such a freeing feeling. Life's challenges go beyond your current singleness. I say that because although I have moved past my constant desire for a relationship, my everyday challenges in other areas (finances, temptation, jobs, etc.) have not stopped. What's so ironic is, finding a spouse won't solve any of those challenges. However, by overcoming them, you'll be putting yourself in a better position to receive a spouse. When the right man comes along, you will be whole (not perfect).

Just food for thought :)
 
Keshieshimmer said:
I listened last night as well. Very powerful. I just need to do it. Ugh. So weak though, the spirit of loneliness is powerful. Silence can be so loud.
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I agree, silence is very loud and intrusive at times too. Loneliness is both a physical and mental thing...which is why someone can have someone there physically (a spouse) and still be lonely mentally. What helps in those times of "loud quietness"for me is to push deeper into it. Its common to find a temporary sedative (call a friend, browse internet) to ease the pain of loneliness but instead I've found it more rewarding to just lay bare before God so that HE can be my remedy. I struggle with loneliness, depression, low self esteem and it's a battle...Im not strong but I know WHO is
:) hang in there :)

Check out this blog post (she writes about singleness/God) http://www.fabsharford.com/blessings-of-singleness1-loneliness/

".....The pain of loneliness is such a gift. Like all pain, it lets us know that something somewhere isn’t quite right. My loneliness reminds me that this world is unsatisfying and insufficient. It’s a signpost that prompts me to seek help outside of myself.
Each jab of loneliness tests my heart: do I believe in the ‘enoughness’ of God? Will I believe in what He says even when life seems to testify otherwise? He says I have everything I need. He says He will satisfy the longing heart. And each twinge of pain provides a reminder to cast my gaze heavenward and to refuse to be comforted by anything but Him.
Without loneliness, I would never persevere. I am too easily satisfied...."
 
Keshieshimmer said:
I listened last night as well. Very powerful. I just need to do it. Ugh. So weak though, the spirit of loneliness is powerful. Silence can be so loud.
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Keshieshimmer That's so true. But in my last relationship I finally grasped the concept of being with someone and feeling completely alone. It was a horrible feeling to have someone right by your side but feeling like you were still alone and that person did not care. From that moment, I knew that I had to get back to God and re evaluate the relationships and decisions I had made.

I agree with Divine. when she said circumstances go beyond your relationship status. I've had family sicknesses, family death since my breakup. Also severe fatigue, work stress and deadlines as well. I was so concerned about that one aspect of my life and when it disappeared a lot of other things fell apart as well just in the past few months. So I have to just trust God with my entire life and let stuff go out of my hands because I know in my own strength I can't keep going. It's hard and I still have the desire but I don't want to keep making the same mistakes I've made and going around the same mountains over again.
 
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Struggling right now. My desire for a relationship has lessened but instead of turning to God I'm tripping over the thousand and one distractions the devil is throwing in my way.
 
Ran into my old flame this weekend. That was the most awkward feeling ever. I haven't seen him in 5 months. Neither of us said anything to each other. In that moment I realized how much hurt and resentment I was holding on to. I never truly forgave him...yesterday I decided to let go. Afterwards, I felt such a huge weight lifted from me!

It's so sad to see how things ended between us. We went from speaking everyday to not speaking at all. I know it's for the best though. I have been praying for God to make forget the pain he put me through so I can move forward.
 
Going through a slump. Singleness is hitting harder than ever. I'm trying to fast to break these bonds of depression. I'm also forcing myself to leave my house and stay busy.
 
Keep holding on Ladies... God knows each one of us by name... He knows where we live and He's more than able to meet us at the point of our needs. He hasn't forgotten about us... He could never forget about us--That's not His nature. Keep holding on... He's a promise keeper!
 
bellatiamarie said:
It's so quiet up in here!! What's going on ladies? What's new? How is everyone doing?
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Not much lol. The past few weekends I've been watching Rick Warren's series on awesome relationships, they were all very good. The last one was on how to find the love of your life. The owner of eHarmony spoke and he said the number one thing you need to work on is selfishness and make sure you are emotionally, spiritually, financially and physically healthy before entering a relationship. So that's what I'm working on. And also not having prospects all the time, I constantly replace one prospect with another to keep my mind entertained sort of say, but God wants all of me at this point.
 
bellatiamarie said:
It's so quiet up in here!! What's going on ladies? What's new? How is everyone doing?
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I have been super busy balancing work and life in general. I barely even have time for social media nowadays :lol: I'm still very single and I'm not in a rush to change that. My plate is full, but I'm sure when it's that time, God will help me make room for the right person.

Idk why I spent all these years waiting for men. I literally put my life on hold for them. Now I'm living and God has shown me that his love is enough.

ETA: found this verse that sums up my sentiments :)

God keeps such people so busy enjoying life that they take no time to brood over the past. (Ecclesiastes 5:20)
 
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Ok so recently me and this guy from church have decided to start over, after last year's event. But.... There is one thing that bothers me and bothered me last year about him. The difference between last year and now is that now I am more open to speaking up when I don't like something. Anyway the problem last year and this year is that It seems like I always have to drive! I remember last year he made the comment about how since he is a school bus driver and has to drive family plus church people around he likes to have a break. Well last year I worked 12 hour shifts in the hospital and liked a break too. Now he isn't working, and for some reason I still feel like it is going to be the same thing. And it's just weird to me, he can pick up people for church, but can't drive sometimes for dates. And frankly having to drive his mom and sisters around really isn't an excuse to me. I mean we all have things that keep us busy, make us tired, etc. But that is no excuse to always having someone do something.
And another thing I don't like is I don't like people volunteering me for things or acting like I'm going to do something because they thought of it. At least ask first, don't assume I have it or am going to do it.
So yeah looks like he and I have some talking to do. And I don't see anything wrong with helping a person, but it's when a person always expects something and uses that as a reason not to do something. Another than that I do think he is a nice guy, I'm not sure if I'm being too petty or harsh.
 
After a family death in October and a bad breakup, I'm not really excited about the holidays. I have to work on thanksgiving and New Year's Eve and New Year's Day too anyway.
 
Im confused right now, and I feel like my life is out of control. I been talking to my ex again, we always talk on and off(not relationship, literally just talk) well this time, he came very strong and I was at a very weak spot, I let myself open up to him and he opened up to me.A few hours ago, we met up and we ended up making out, sadly I don't know if im a virgin still, there was no blood and he used his fingers and oral. I just don't know how I have come to this, I don't know what to do...recently I've been upset with God, I haven't talk to anyone except my ex, I haven't found a home church or friends in this city, admittedly I don't read the bible or pray much...I feel like im just existing. Nothing satisfies me, after we stopped sex, I was thinking "it wasn't worth it". Im upset with my life, it's not fulfilling at all and I don't know what to do...
 
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