Single Christian Women's Support - THE REMIX!
- Thread starter Glib Gurl
- Start date
Maracuja, I never want to get to the point where "everything" I do is in preparation for marriage. I want to get to a place in life where everything I do is to glorify God. Marriage is but one way to worship God and bring Him glory, it's definitely not the only way.
In other words I don't want my life to be consumed by the idea of marriage, there's so much MORE to life than that.
Maracujá
November 2020 --> 14 years natural!!!
LoveisYou: I see it this way: even as a single right now, if I master these tips that he is giving I will ultimately be ready for The Wedding that is to take place and while here on earth I'll be an all around pleasant person and friend. I def understand your point though.
JaneBond007
New Member
Honestly, though, other cultures don't view preparation this way. You are basically born to grow up, marry, have kids and carry on the lineage. To me, this seems like just another negativism on Blacks marrying, esp. for the U.S. For it to be an "idol," imho, you'd have to worship it. Prep and being just as serious as we are to prepare our financial portfolios is wise. That's just me, though. I do comprehend being emotionally and spiritually balanced. But I see so much in the Black community trying to prevent Black women from walking down that aisle.
No one is trying to prevent me from getting married, I belong to a family and social group that value marriage. I value marriage, based on my spiritual and social belief system. I don't ascribe to generalized "black community" ideology, I believe the Bible is truth.
You don't have to literally worship something for it to be an idol in your life. If you are all consumed by anything, it is an idol. I didn't say we shouldn't prepare for marriage, this is not an extreme anti-marriage viewpoint. I said we shouldn't become all consumed with the idea of getting married. Prepare for marriage, but be balanced. Know that there is more to life, know that your marital status doesn't define you as a child of God. Personally, I am in preparation for marriage, but I am not all consumed by it.
There isn't any marriage bashing in anything I wrote.
Last edited:
JaneBond007
New Member
Edited..............my fatal flaw, trying to explain to within an inch of my life. Shouldn't do that. LoveisYou I'll say that you miscomprehended and took it personally when it was a generalization based upon other threads touching upon something similar. None of it was to reference you personally in any way. Please take it as a general comment to the topic itself. We're all giving perspectives that do not necessarily come from our own family practices.
Last edited:
We're having a discussion, it's possible I misinterpreted what you meant, I saw your original post, thank you for clarifying.
I don't think it's a fatal flaw to clarify something.
Yes, our experiences color our viewpoints. I WOULD NOT recommend this article to anyone.
Divine.
Well-Known Member
I think you may be taking the article way too literal. When I read it, I got the impression that in hindsight the author realized a lot of the things she did when she was single prepared her for marriage. I read through the list and I already do most of the things listed because I'm always finding ways to grow. I think the article has value because most of us don't have a clue what marriage is like. And from what I hear, marriage is much harder than it looks. Many of the things we go through now will prep us for the challenges of marriage whether we consciously realize it or not. I think the author is just making it more plain. If anything, I think the list serves as a good foundation for becoming a well rounded Christian woman. Not just a lists of do's to snag a husband.
Again, perception is everything. We read the article differently.
I don't think the article is "wrong" however the first premise that everything you do is in preparation for marriage is questionable ...TO ME.
Everything I do is SO MUCH MORE than that.
Last edited:
JaneBond007
New Member
I believe no. 5 should have been no. 1, actually, "Establish the foundation of God’s purpose for your life." Working hard, getting an education, keeping a healthy lifestyle and fostering good relationships with all around you is a general preparation for a good person. This article is geared towards the marriage minded so I actually agree with the article. We do so much more in life and long before we even desire the vocation of marriage. What is our very purpose? But in looking back, being the best we can be eventually turned into training for marriage for some.
nlamr2013
Well-Known Member
Hmm imo those tips alone would not adequately prepare you for marriage. The author of the article was only 6 months into his marriage when he wrote that. Maybe though I'm just not fond of those hone size fits all type lists lol
Also I kind of see where saying and thinking everything you do is in prep for marriage makes marriage an idol.
.....and what if someone doesn't get married (even if they really really want to) does it mean that their actions don't have value?
nlamr2013
Well-Known Member
what I originally came in here to say was that it is clearly wedding season again. So many people have gotten engaged recently. It's so cute but a bit annoying because I feel like I'm being bombarded when I'm trying to make sure that I don't make marriage an Idol (ie imagining my married life when im not engaged or even really dating) which is easy for a young woman to do.
Ironic that the tone of the thread is what it is.
Ironic that the tone of the thread is what it is.
nlamr2013
Well-Known Member
Right. As an analogy it's a bit like saying everything you do in high school is in prep for college.
This is flawed because if you don't plan to go to college you still must go to high school. However, once you're in college you realize the things you did in high school prepared you for college by its design.
So living a full life as a Christian young adult by design does happen to prepare you for marriage since those called to be married are done as such to help bring glory to God, but this is not the purpose of living life for Christ.
Lol did I get confusing?
JaneBond007
New Member
In my faith, living one's life for Christ is absolutely done through marriage. It's done through whichever vocation in life one is called to and fulfills. Marriage and family are so important, we are constantly reminded of the relationship between Jesus and His Mother, and His earthly father, Joseph. The Holy Family is highly esteemed and provides our example of how to live out the faith. A priest is Father to the congregation. Nuns are holy mothers to the order, sisters to the community of faith and laymen. It's one big marriage with a whole lotta kids. And of course, the symbolism of the Church as bride and Jesus as groom has many levels of spiritual meaning. Marriage is probably the highest standard. That does not mean everyone will be married nor that he/she is not as worthy, though. It's basically the first commandment..."be fruitful and multiply." If you think about it, we are invited in G-d's creation, an on-going creation of the world. That cannot be wholly fulfilled through His plan without marriage. So, the relationships developing before and during the marriage can reflect a high spiritual level.
Last edited:
Oops!
phynestone
Well-Known Member
I was just reminded of why women should never lower their standards.
LiftedUp
Well-Known Member
@belle_Du_Jour
I transferred my "guy talk" here lol. I met a "good Catholic guy" and now I'm freaking out, not in a good way. I knew him before and we didn't speak for years and just reconnected.
We actually attend the church of the same name except his is a Catholic church.
But anyway, I just wanted to say that God does answer prayers and this this just a reaffirmation of that. For some reason I get my "guy prayers" answered directly, too directly, not necessarily on my time though lol. I'll see if what he wants from this. Maybe it's just to increase my faith
.
Anyway, my drawn out post was to just give you hope that they're out there! I may still go to the Corpus Christi event.
I transferred my "guy talk" here lol. I met a "good Catholic guy" and now I'm freaking out, not in a good way. I knew him before and we didn't speak for years and just reconnected.
We actually attend the church of the same name except his is a Catholic church.
But anyway, I just wanted to say that God does answer prayers and this this just a reaffirmation of that. For some reason I get my "guy prayers" answered directly, too directly, not necessarily on my time though lol. I'll see if what he wants from this. Maybe it's just to increase my faith
.Anyway, my drawn out post was to just give you hope that they're out there! I may still go to the Corpus Christi event.
bellatiamarie
Well-Known Member
LoveisYou Thank you for sharing!! This blessed me incredibly!! I came across this series of videos a couple years ago and never watched more than the first few minutes of the first video... I guess I wasn't ready to receive what was being presented at that time.
I sat here tonight and watched all 10 videos as well and their individual and collective testimonies blessed my soul and gave me just what I needed! Thanks again!!
Divine.
Well-Known Member
I love these two! I started following them last year. Nicole's channel has truly been a blessing to me. I think because I relate to her testimony so much. I can tell that God is speaking through her in all her videos.
Divine.
Well-Known Member
Are any of you ladies working on any projects or serving in some area? My biggest project right now is getting my blog in order. It really takes spending hours of time with God before I can even write. I'm debating on moving to YouTube but I haven't thought that through just yet. It's just easier to talk through ideas than write them.
I also plan on serving regularly with a youth church. Those kids seriously need guidance and prayer. I volunteered once and I knew God was tugging on my heart to go back. I really want to pour into them. I would hate to see teens so young make the decisions I made.
So what vision has God placed in your heart?
I also plan on serving regularly with a youth church. Those kids seriously need guidance and prayer. I volunteered once and I knew God was tugging on my heart to go back. I really want to pour into them. I would hate to see teens so young make the decisions I made.
So what vision has God placed in your heart?
Divine.
Well-Known Member
LiftedUp If you're pursuing a relationship with this person, then yes, that's something you would tell them. It doesn't need to be a huge production or anything. I'm not even sure if that's the first thing that needs to be said. However, I would probably insert that information into a serious conversation about your relationship and your values. I wouldn't feel bad about it either because the end result is still the same: you're both waiting. Transparency is a beautiful thing in a relationship.
LiftedUp
Well-Known Member
divine my friend's bf broke up with her this morning over it 
The truth literally set her free. But I'm thinking now that maybe that type of information should be withheld. Although it would be lying by omission. She said that if she could've done it over she would've been honest from the get go.
The truth literally set her free. But I'm thinking now that maybe that type of information should be withheld. Although it would be lying by omission. She said that if she could've done it over she would've been honest from the get go.
Divine.
Well-Known Member
LiftedUp I'm so sorry this happened 
That information should not be withheld. However, I would not want to be with a person who would leave me just because I'm not a virgin. Unless your friend lied about it from the beginning, I'm not understanding why this is grounds for breaking up. To me, this is just be a roadblock that the two of them would need to overcome together.
In my eyes, omission is lying. You never want to build a relationship on that. I'm gonna assume that this was the principle behind the break up. I hope that the two of them can work on this together.
My advice to you is always be honest. In my next relationship, I want my significant other to know everything about my past so it's not a secret. I want to know everything about his as well.
That information should not be withheld. However, I would not want to be with a person who would leave me just because I'm not a virgin. Unless your friend lied about it from the beginning, I'm not understanding why this is grounds for breaking up. To me, this is just be a roadblock that the two of them would need to overcome together. In my eyes, omission is lying. You never want to build a relationship on that. I'm gonna assume that this was the principle behind the break up. I hope that the two of them can work on this together.
My advice to you is always be honest. In my next relationship, I want my significant other to know everything about my past so it's not a secret. I want to know everything about his as well.
Similar threads
- Poll
