Single Christian Women's Support - THE REMIX!

I'm always attracting either non religious guys or Christians who are really questioning their faith/leaving the faith. I need to take a look at myself and see what I'm putting out there to keep attracting this. I'm glad as soon as a guy shows interest I bring up religion within the first 30 minutes of talking. I know a lot of people don't like to get into those subjects that quickly but id rather figure out what I'm dealing with sooner than later.

Maybe I seem more secular and that's why I attract what I attract. I basically live (work tons of hours a week) with athiests and agnostics and they seem to have more of an influence on me than me on them.
 
DreamLife said:
I'm always attracting either non religious guys or Christians who are really questioning their faith/leaving the faith. I need to take a look at myself and see what I'm putting out there to keep attracting this. I'm glad as soon as a guy shows interest I bring up religion within the first 30 minutes of talking. I know a lot of people don't like to get into those subjects that quickly but id rather figure out what I'm dealing with sooner than later.

Maybe I seem more secular and that's why I attract what I attract. I basically live (work tons of hours a week) with athiests and agnostics and they seem to have more of an influence on me than me on them.
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Be encouraged sis. You're doing the right thing by bringing up faith early on. My ex's mother (ironic I know) advised me to ask a man what his relationship with God was, but also if he is indwelt with the Holy Spirit. That's the difference. I don't want someone who believes in God. I want someone who is led by the Holy Spirit in all that he does.

Regarding your impact on those around you, I started praying that the Lord would use me as a living testimony and to allow His light to shine through me. Even the devil can't ignore the presence of God.
 
Sometimes I feel like I'm going to be single for the rest of my life. I'm not sure what is going on with me right now, but lately I've been feeling as though I'll never get married. I'm starting to believe that there must be something wrong with me.
 
futureapl said:
Sometimes I feel like I'm going to be single for the rest of my life. I'm not sure what is going on with me right now, but lately I've been feeling as though I'll never get married. I'm starting to believe that there must be something wrong with me.
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I will keep you in prayer. Disregard those thoughts, negative advice and those who will discourage you from accomplishing this goal. It will happen when it's the right time. Don't run ahead of God's timing
 
Why is it that some people have testimonies about submitting to God and they meet their husband a month later, then you have other people who have submitted to God but don't meet their husbands for years?

I lowkey get jealous when I hear stories like that. Then I start questioning why God puts me through all these obstacles while he lets another woman off the hook. If I gotta through all this, everyone else needs to too :lol:

I'm just venting. I have been through a lot in the past few weeks and seeing people do nothing and receive everything really irks me.
 
Valentine's Day is fast approaching and since I've never celebrated it with a SO in like ever...I've come up with this ritual now for the past two to three years of doing something on my own. Always related to learning more about love though. The Museum of Art nearby is showcasing love letters written in times of peace and war and I'm planning on attending it on Valentine's Day. Problem is they're doing something especially for couples on that day so I don't know if they'll allow me in...singlism is real 'round these parts y'all lol.
 
I had a moment to cool off :look: I totally forgot valentines day was coming up! I'll be at work so thankfully I will be distracted lol
 
lalah said:
I've been listening to her Youtube videos all weekend and they have truly spoke truth into me by showing me the error of my ways. What a blessing!
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Wonderful! I'm so thankful to God for leading me to her channel. Her explanation of "celibate fornicator" had me looking over my shoulder.

Recently I've began considering myself "expectant" instead of "single" because I'm already betrothed in the spiritual realm, just awaiting physical manifestation. If you know you're someone's wife, your faithfulness to that man should begin before you even meet. Her messages were on track with my revelation.

Tiffany has a blog too: http://www.wiseherstill.com/?m=1
 
whosthatgurl said:
I'm convinced that there is nobody out there for me.
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whosthatgurl , I believed the same for a very very long time. For me it boiled down to ego (thinking my quirky misfit nature couldn't meet a match), not forgiving myself for my sins....and subsequently not realizing how much God loves me. I thought my bad deeds demoted me in His eyes.

He fixed it my improving my personal relationship with Him which led to a strengthening of faith, character, & conduct. God knew us before we were created, I just can not believe He would not make provision to satisfy desires that are aligned with His word.
 
Kacie said:
In process of listening to this message.. "The Reason for the Wait" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VgHtHf6yj8
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This message was timely! The only thing really keeping me from my spouse is just letting go of my past. That whole process has been extremely difficult. That's where my rant stemmed from :lol: I wish I could just wake up one day and get over it so I can move on with my life. But alas, it's not that simple.

I think I'm in love with idea of marriage, but not marriage itself. Randomly someone tried to hook me up this weekend and I immediately shut it down. If this person was truly my husband (hypothetically) that means I have to spend the rest of my life with him! Only death can separate us. Idk if I'm ready for that. I like having someone around but not enough to marry them (in this stage of my life). I love the freedom I have being single. Being single only bothers me when I want companionship.
 
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Kacie said:
whosthatgurl , I believed the same for a very very long time. For me it boiled down to ego (thinking my quirky misfit nature couldn't meet a match), not forgiving myself for my sins....and subsequently not realizing how much God loves me. I thought my bad deeds demoted me in His eyes.

He fixed it my improving my personal relationship with Him which led to a strengthening of faith, character, & conduct. God knew us before we were created, I just can not believe He would not make provision to satisfy desires that are aligned with His word.
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I'm going through this now Kacie
I'm working on believing I'm worthy of a husband I'm praying myself out of depression and unforgiveness of past mistakes It's my process to progress
 
Random thought:
Being saved won't keep you from falling for the wrong men. You must continually renew your mind and guard your heart against counterfeits. I thought I was protected because of my relationship with God. However, God gave us all free will to do what we please. That even includes choosing to cut off a random or entertaining him because you believe in his potential. The choice is all ours.

Even if you don't understand, listen to God's voice. He won't lie or mislead you. Just trust him.
 
Wow. I came across this thread at the perfect time because I just asked God to mend my broken heart. My boyfriend and I broke up in the beginning of December and it's been very hard for me to move on. We were together for two and a half years. I've gone on dates and started opening myself up to meeting new ppl but just the other day I found myself crying myself to sleep about him.

So since this is the Christian thread I'm going to share my story so that you all can pray for me and maybe offer Christian advice.

Long story short I stuck with him through a lot. He confessed to cheating on me and I forgave him. He had a brief stint of mental instability due to him smoking marijuana that his family believes may have been laced.

This caused him to be hospitalized twice (on the mental health floor) and he was kicked out of his apartment for walking around the complex naked. He would have moments when he would turn into a completely.different. person. It was almost like he was schizophrenic or bipolar (the doctors didn't diagnose him with anything. They just said he needed to stop smoking). He would become verbally abusive and accuse me of all kind of crazy things. It was a very scary couple of months for me but I prayed and prayed and prayed that he would go back to his normal self.

After he got kicked out of his apt he moved in with his grandparents while he was trying to look for a new place to stay. I found a very nice three bedroom three bathroom house for him, he saw it, liked it and moved in. It took maybe three months for him to become normal again. He's his old self again and hasn't exhibited any new strange behavior. To this day that whole thing is still confusing to me.

We broke up because I felt like I wasn't getting the love I deserved and so I asked him if he wanted to end it (because he had been treated me so bad). And he said yeah. He would go days without calling or texting me. He wouldn't return my phone calls in a timely manner. Wasn't affectionate anymore. I treated him better than his own family did. And it really hurt me that he dropped me like I was some girl he met at the club. I still cry about it...almost three months later I don't know what took me so long but I finally asked god to help me through this and heal m broken heart. So keep me in your prayers :-)
 
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** I posted part of this in the other relationships thread, because I actually have questions about how I'm feeling, and I think it belongs here**

-I don't know if I consider this a date, since I didn't eat...

But I met up with this guy that is friends with me on Facebook... he is a young preacher, nice and country.

Oddest place I could have met him though.. It was at a wing place downtown, and I told him that I didn't want to eat (I'm still full from eating earlier).

Anyway. Conversation was flowing very nicely, until he asked me about what church I attend... it just went downhill from there.

I try to keep in mind that everyone has an opinion and everyone is not going to like what I like, nor agree with everything that I'm accustomed to, but I'm just like come on man. Like don't dog my ministry and the leader of the house in my face.

I've been feeling uncomfortable ever since. I'm the type of person that I think "long-term" when it comes to dating now, because I don't want to waste anymore time, and it's a shame that I don't really feel like I can continue anything because he doesn't fully accept the church that I go to. Like him and someone else just basically labeled me because of where I go. On top of that, I would feel mad shady introducing him to my pastor down the road if anything were to happen, because of what was said tonight.

Now I'm mad :laugh:


- QUESTIONS:

Has anyone ever had a problem with someone that you're considering dating, or seeing; having a problem with the leader of your church/ and the church in general?

I'm actually turned off by even interacting with him any further because of it. I know everyone isn't going to love my church/leader, but I love where I am, and I wouldn't want anyone's negativity about it around me.
 
whosthatgurl said:
** I posted part of this in the other relationships thread, because I actually have questions about how I'm feeling, and I think it belongs here** -I don't know if I consider this a date, since I didn't eat... But I met up with this guy that is friends with me on Facebook... he is a young preacher, nice and country. Oddest place I could have met him though.. It was at a wing place downtown, and I told him that I didn't want to eat (I'm still full from eating earlier). Anyway. Conversation was flowing very nicely, until he asked me about what church I attend... it just went downhill from there. I try to keep in mind that everyone has an opinion and everyone is not going to like what I like, nor agree with everything that I'm accustomed to, but I'm just like come on man. Like don't dog my ministry and the leader of the house in my face. I've been feeling uncomfortable ever since. I'm the type of person that I think "long-term" when it comes to dating now, because I don't want to waste anymore time, and it's a shame that I don't really feel like I can continue anything because he doesn't fully accept the church that I go to. Like him and someone else just basically labeled me because of where I go. On top of that, I would feel mad shady introducing him to my pastor down the road if anything were to happen, because of what was said tonight. Now I'm mad :laugh: - QUESTIONS: Has anyone ever had a problem with someone that you're considering dating, or seeing; having a problem with the leader of your church/ and the church in general? I'm actually turned off by even interacting with him any further because of it. I know everyone isn't going to love my church/leader, but I love where I am, and I wouldn't want anyone's negativity about it around me.
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whosthatgurl

If you're considering courting take time to get to know him as a friend first make this the rule for all suitors no exceptions.

Find out why he feels this way he might have a point or he might just be talking smack and if you're getting the something's not right feeling than just distance yourself keep it acquaintance level then. If he's ok on your radar then see where it goes don't make it exclusive until he declares his love intentions proposes etc you know.
 
Lucia said:
whosthatgurl

If you're considering courting take time to get to know him as a friend first make this the rule for all suitors no exceptions.

Find out why he feels this way he might have a point or he might just be talking smack and if you're getting the something's not right feeling than just distance yourself keep it acquaintance level then. If he's ok on your radar then see where it goes don't make it exclusive until he declares his love intentions proposes etc you know.
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I will, the more I think about it, the more I just don't want to even consider it. I talked with another friend, and I have an idea as to why he said that, not like it makes it any better.

But I will definitely take your advice. Thank you.
 
I always feel the most lonely after Mass on Sundays. I go to church, enjoy the service, receive Holy Communion, sometimes stay to pray and then come home to an empty apartment. Sunday evenings are already hard, because the weekend is ending and you have to prepare to start the work week. Anyone else experience something similar?? Any suggestions? I want to nip this in the bud because I notice a pattern and that it is happening more frequently.
 
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Belle Du Jour said:
I always feel the most lonely after Mass on Sundays. I go to church, enjoy the service, receive Holy Communion, sometimes stay to pray and then come home to an empty apartment. Sunday evenings are already hard, because the weekend is ending and you have to prepare to start the work week. Anyone else experience something similar?? Any suggestions? I want to nip this in the bud because I notice a pattern and that it is happening more frequently.
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Belle Du Jour

I'm sorry your feeling like this. You don't have to answer any of this here but just ask this of yourself privately and see what comes up. Is there a strong reason you're living alone away from your family I mean mom pop siblings? If it's family issues then you have no choice but to suck it up and find some other positive support network and maybe consider getting a dog if you like animals and are not allergic of course.

If it's for work or school and you don't live that far from home then consider moving back home. Culturally grown children didn't move out until after the 2nd world war in the states. UK started even earlier. Pretty much everywhere else in the world grown kids stay home until they're married settled and then they move out to live with their spouse doesn't matter if it's a guy either. This whole you must move out to prove your independence is not only dangerous I'm many ways like emotionally physically and spiritually. There this thing like your a loser of you live at home. Well not if you're a well adjusted productive adult. And contribute to the household. I don't see anything wrong with a man who's living at home has a career has goals is well adjusted adult read not crazy helps out financially and all ways at home.

That's different from the loser type who could live at home or live with 12 roommates and it's basically and R rated frat house. If he can't hold a job doesn't have goals a career etc than the fact that he's not living at home doesn't automatically make him a good catch. When singles move out the easier it is for them to fall prey to bad suitors boyfriends and girlfriends that they would not have normally even considered but loneliness makes a bad counselor.

A single woman living in her own or even a single man for that matter wasn't encouraged in the bible. Where a young man would go complete a mission or some work then they would come back home to their family right. So they weren't out on their own permanently. And let's tell the real truth and keep it 100% if you're not far away for certain work or school why are you staying there alone? The main reason young adults want to move out or are encouraged to do so is so that they can sleep around and not have to respect the family home or answer to anyone and do whatever they want.
 
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Lucia said:
Belle Du Jour

I'm sorry your feeling like this.
You don't have to answer any of this here but just ask this of yourself privately and see what comes up.
Is there a strong reason you're living alone away from your family I mean mom pop siblings? If it's family issues then you have no choice but to suck it up and find some other positive support network and maybe consider getting a dog if you like animals and are not allergic of course.

If it's for work or school and you don't live that far from home then consider moving back home.
Culturally grown children didn't move out until after the 2nd world war in the states. UK started even earlier.

Pretty much everywhere else in the world grown kids stay home until they're married settled and then they move out to live with their spouse doesn't matter if it's a guy either. This whole you must move out to prove your independence is not only dangerous I'm many ways like emotionally physically and spiritually.
There this thing like your a loser of you live at home. Well not if you're a well adjusted productive adult. And contribute to the household. I don't see anything wrong with a man who's living at home has a career has goals is well adjusted adult read not crazy helps out financially and all ways at home.

That's different from the loser type who cold live at home or live with 12 roommates and it's basically and R rated frat house. If he can't hold a job doesn't have goals a career etc than the fact that he's not living at home doesn't automatically make him a good catch.

When singles move out the easier it is for them to fall prey to bad suitors boyfriends and girlfriends that they would not have normally even considered but loneliness makes a bad counselor.

A single woman living in her own or even a single man for that matter wasn't encouraged in the bible. Where a young man would go complete a mission or some work then they would come back home to their family right. So they weren't out on their own permanently.

And let's tell the real truth and keep it 100% if you're not far away for certain work or school why are you staying there alone?

The main reason young adults want to move out or are encouraged to do so is so that they can sleep around and not have to respect the family home or answer to anyone and do whatever they want.
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Excellent questions. I don't live in the same city as my family so that's why I am alone in my city. I think you have a point about the dangers of living alone for younger singles, but as a woman in my 30s, I think it's acceptable to want to be independent. Unfortunately, society has screwed things up for many of us so we are living single much longer than we would have in the past. I think a model where single men and women live with their parents and have their parents involved in the courtship is great if you are younger, but after a certain age, it isn't feasible. Also, if your parents don't share the same faith as you, it's also not feasible. But you do make some great points. If I was in my 20s, I would think hard about being out on my own.
 
Belle Du Jour said:
Excellent questions. I don't live in the same city as my family so that's why I am alone in my city. I think you have a point about the dangers of living alone for younger singles, but as a woman in my 30s, I think it's acceptable to want to be independent. Unfortunately, society has screwed things up for many of us so we are living single much longer than we would have in the past. I think a model where single men and women live with their parents and have their parents involved in the courtship is great if you are younger, but after a certain age, it isn't feasible. Also, if your parents don't share the same faith as you, it's also not feasible. But you do make some great points. If I was in my 20s, I would think hard about being out on my own.
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Belle Du Jour

I think you missed my point it is not and shouldn't be an age thing it's a family and respect thing when your out on your own men think they can just stop by or slowly move in on you and then their living in why cause nobody else is there looking out for you. Please be careful and watch out for that. Now if your family don't share your faith or views then your probably better on your own. But you do need to get some like minded friends or join the catholic young adults group or ladies group bible study rosary prayer sessions at your church etc. that way you'll have faith based people around you. Also if you look to secular or non faith based activities you'll still have some grounding type friends so you stay on he Godly path. Even if your independent and on your own you still need a support network. HTH
 
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