Self-conscious about having long hair?

[VioletWylde]

Wait... you can wear your hair curly, straight or wavy, in a multitude of fancy up-do's, simple buns, half-up/half-down, endless braided styles, braid-outs, bantu-knot outs, wash n' goes, band-outs, fancy parted styles, in different colors, high-lights... This is boring? You know what is boring? People still trying to convince others to get rid of their good thing. If you need change--well that's what you bought the wig for!

The Asian women were probably just amazed that a black woman could have a lot of healthy hair. I bet your friend was being salty because here she is trying to get a wig to cover up her problems and your "fantastic hair took center-stage again!" (insert foot stomp here). If you wanted to cut your hair and came to that conclusion on your own--fine, but it sounds like this wasn't even an option on the long list until your friend mentioned it. People get jealous and sometimes we're sensitive to the opinions of those around us, but I don't give away money just because my friends might think I have too much, or abandon my studies because someone says I'm "too smart" . If she gets on your level, she won't notice the disparity between what you have and what she doesn't.

 

[natural_one]

If you cut your hair because your "friend" said it was boring, you shouldn't ever log back on again! j/k Seriously, you need to take everything your "friend" is saying with a grain of salt, and try to look at what she is really saying.

 

[Whimsy]

Girl please!!!
Don't let hate ruin your hair.

PS - whenever i go into a wig store with my long hair, i only try on short wigs, we always want what we don't have right....::shrug::

DO YOU and don't worry about what others say, what you think/feel matters most.

 

[Geminigirl]

Oh man, the last time I went in to a BSS store with my hair down (I was letting it finish off drying), this one lady kept giving me the serious stinkeye. I was standing in one of the aisles looking at the V05 conditioner prices and she was all

and sucking her teeth.

Now, I don't why, maybe it had something to do with her hair looking like a pack of rats had been chewing on it? Maybe she thought I was someone else? Maybe she didn't like the look of me? In any case, I snatched my conditioner and hightailed it to the register. Just in case she decided to cut my hair or something. Absolutely last time I go into a BSS with my hair down. Already, a lot of those women are going in there all frustrated about their own hair, they don't need me in there with my pretty curls and have them thinking I'm showing off or flaunting.

OT- I love the smiley and I use this phrase too except I say: "It looks like rats have been sucking on her hair all night long"

 

[orchidgirl]

It's out of jealousy..I am sorry to say. Some times people hate what they can not have or feel they cannot achieve. (Which they could if they tried or came to LHCF...lol) I've had this happen before and it took me a long time to understand that. Don't cut your hair., It take time and patience for us to grow our hair and you should be proud of the length that you have!

 

[Geminigirl]

I agree with a lot that has already been said in this post, so with that said, what else can I say?

I know when my hair gets long, I don't think I will be self concious, but probably paranoid from all the horror stories I've heard.

 

[BostonMaria]

I'm actually looking for a short half wig, maybe a cute bob just to add variety. My hair is touching WSL so don't feel bad for trying to buy something. You can't cut your hair just because somebody made you feel bad. I mean, that's like me gaining 50 lbs to make my fat friends happy and comfortable with me LOL Do you! Its easier to buy a short wig than to cut your hair, regret it, and have to start all over again.

To answer the first question, yes sometimes I feel self-conscious about my hair. Its always up in a bun anyway but when I let it out I do see the stares. I figure they can't help themselves, my hair is just that perdy LOL

 

[Lady Esquire]

I do understand about being somewhere and sometimes being in the minority with a bunch of chewed up heads surrounding you. Reminds me of the twilight zone when the pretty girl wakes up in a world where everyone has a pig's snout yet she is the one considered deformed and ugly.

Never have someone make you feel bad about yourself. Is it healthy? No splits? Are YOU bored? It's your hair and how you feel.

If not, then don't let anyone dull your shine.

 

[Miss AJ]

some folks are sipping too much Haterade. as soon as u cut ur hair they will be lamenting about how they want to grow their hair long. you didnt ask for her opinion so it shouldnt matter. screw them!

 

[sharifeh]

Anyway, later in the day my friend was telling me I should cut my hair; that it's gotten too long and the long-haired look was getting old and boring on me.

@ your friend's comment

If it really was getting old and boring why didn't she suggest layers or something so it's still long? But I don't actually think she thinks it's old and boring, I think she just wants you to have short hair. Sometimes women just want other women at their level....less competition

 

[lilsparkle825]

You probably really wanted to grow your hair out at some point in time and now you have. Will you be happier when your hair looks just like your 'friends?' Do you mean you would cut off your hair because someone was looking at it and making comments? Wow. Now I am looking at you and going.......what?....you're serious?


Put the scizzors down.

Pretty much. Why are you so worried about what other people are saying to the point that these negative comments have you thinking that YOU'RE the one with the problem? This has low self-esteem scribbled all over it.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Well, I agree with the majority here that OP's "friend" is a hater. Gotta watch her closely please. It's not safe to have haters close to you, as they WILL try to mess you up.

Anyway I sometimes do feel a tad self conscious when I have my hair down. I don't like to be the center of attention, and I'm also trying to stay aware in case some lunatic jumps on me to rip my "weave" out in front of her BF like has happened to a poster on here.

ETA: god only knows what it will be like once I have classic length. The hateration will be at a whole nuther level, I suspect.

 

[ladylibra_30]

Question:

Ivey, was your friend trying on a long-haired wig?! If so, I would definately say she is full of you-know-what. If long hair is so boring why is she purchasing it, hmmm?

Imagine that, paying to look like a bore...

 

[julissa1289]

I think you needed to look for a new friend instead of a wig , one that is positive and encourages you to achieve your goals, any friend that is not supportive is definetely not a friend in my eyes . Your friend is definetely jealous and I personally would not want to be around a person that makes me feel selfconscious about myself, by the way your hair is gorgeous, I cant wait for my hair to be half as beautiful as yours.

 

[ladylibra_30]

Wait... you can wear your hair curly, straight or wavy, in a multitude of fancy up-do's, simple buns, half-up/half-down, endless braided styles, braid-outs, bantu-knot outs, wash n' goes, band-outs, fancy parted styles, in different colors, high-lights... This is boring? You know what is boring? People still trying to convince others to get rid of their good thing. If you need change--well that's what you bought the wig for!

The Asian women were probably just amazed that a black woman could have a lot of healthy hair. I bet your friend was being salty because here she is trying to get a wig to cover up her problems and your "fantastic hair took center-stage again!" (insert foot stomp here). If you wanted to cut your hair and came to that conclusion on your own--fine, but it sounds like this wasn't even an option on the long list until your friend mentioned it. People get jealous and sometimes we're sensitive to the opinions of those around us, but I don't give away money just because my friends might think I have too much, or abandon my studies because someone says I'm "too smart" . If she gets on your level, she won't notice the disparity between what you have and what she doesn't.

A - to the -MEN!!!

 

[exoticmommie]

I wish a ninja would tell me to cut my hair.

And if the wig she was looking at was long I would have called her on it, and most likely keep contact to a minimum. You can call me paranoid.

 

[Optimus_Prime]

I wear my hair up cause we have all kinds in this city and black and yt women (not latina, though, for some reason) will give you the stinkeye and get cagey.
I don't want the extra male attention, either.

But I NEVER think about cutting my hair off. NEVER. I love it, it's mine, I take care of it because I like taking care of me.

 

[LaToya28]

I didn't vote because my hair is not long yet, but I can kind of understand how you feel. I think that I'll feel very self-concious because of other people's perceptions, particularly other black women. I still wouldn't cut it for that reason though.

 

[Miss AJ]

No woman should ever feel self conscious about having LONG hair. Doesn't the Bible say something about a woman's hair being her crowning glory? Idc what length you are at, if your hair is healthy you better flaunt it like the QUEEN you are! Haters need to step their hair game up if it's that serious.

 

[Averoigne]

I started to feel self-conscious about my hair and now feel I should cut it.

donT...yOU...DARE!!!

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Um, Ivey, Can I have your hair problem, please? Your hair is so gorgeous! I bet the haters are like with your hair, but cop a stank attitude because your hair is long and gorgeous!

 

[NikStarrr]

I can relate to a degree. Not so much length--but big-ness. My braidouts/twistouts are really big now and sometimes I purposely avoid wearing it out depending on the occasion or where I'm going because of the attention it gets. I think everyone has days they just want to "blend in"...

 

[Bigghair]

You should not be concerned with what others think about how your hair looks. It is your hair and if you want it long keep it long. If you want to cut it, cut it. I don't believe that long hair makes you look old. If you look old, you look old regardless of hair.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

nope not at all. i had long hair my whole life, so i feel self conscious when my hair is not long. like when i did my bc. ♥

 

[wavezncurlz]

Sometimes. Mostly because I usually wear it up and hidden. I think people are surprised by the difference in texture and length when it is straight and out.

 

[Geminigirl]

Some of ya'll are making me scared to have long hair. I hope I can enjoy my length without too much stank eye. I can't wait to flip and swing. Man long hair is so rare in our community I couldn't see it any other way then a blessing to reach unthinkable lengths.

 

[newbiemom]

I read this my only thought was "wth" When my hair grows up and is mbl . NOBODY and I mean noone could tell me nothin. I can't even believe with all that pretty hair you would entertain the idea of cutting cause some jealous bff said it. Idk. YOu hair is goregous. This is just one of those lapses that people have.

 

[Jeech]

That is some friend who will tell you something like that...I am learning that if one always looks for validation from others then one will be in for a very unhappy life. "To thine own self be true..." and everyone else can go to hell. If you like your hair that's all that matters.

 

[Ivey14]

***Deleted***

 

[DaR3alM3]

girl leave your hair alone, if you wanna but cute short wig it's your choice. Wigs can be fun, switch it anytime ya like. Shoot it's not like you don't have hair, just work it.