Does anyone else get self-conscious about having long hair?

[robot.]

I knew it was that commercial before even clicking! Don't hurt nobody, now!

 

[keepithealthy]

No, but I tend to get those "stares" that somehow convey some paranoia about me being "better than them" due to my hair and complexion. It stinks sometimes. But, if someone hates me, they're the ones with the issues.

Being as my uncle put it "high yellow" people always make these assumptions about me....especially when I was relaxed. I grew up hearing the "you think you all that because...(your light skinned or you got long hair" ...sigh...
I would get weave checked when I was relaxed and my hair wasn't that long maybe an inch or two past my shoulders....but that didn't stop me from swinging it lol.....

 

[SmartyPants]

Being as my uncle put it "high yellow" people always make these assumptions about me....especially when I was relaxed. I grew up hearing the "you think you all that because...(your light skinned or you got long hair" ...sigh...
I would get weave checked when I was relaxed and my hair wasn't that long maybe an inch or two past my shoulders....but that didn't stop me from swinging it lol.....

This reminds me of my (not light-skinned) younger cousin. She has always had long hair. She went to a predominantly white elementary school. One day one little white girl flicked her hair in my cousin's face. My cousin flicked hers and told little Snotleigh, "so, I can do that too!"

 

[runwaydream]

man..ya'll are better than me.

i have since BC'd but when my hair was at it's longest it was BSL. boy..let me tell ya...you woulda thought i woulda had whiplash by now as much as i swung that thing around. i didnt always wear it down but when i did it got in my face, and instead of reaching up and touching it it was much quicker to just snap my head to make it go back behind my shoulder.
and i LOVED tucking my hair behind my ears.
you couldnt tell me nothin!

I'm usually in my own world and never really pay attn to anyone else so i haven't heard anyone bad talk me, but i always got comments on my hair and i had no problem telling ppl about my hair care regimen.

 

[keepithealthy]

This reminds me of my (not light-skinned) younger cousin. She has always had long hair. She went to a predominantly white elementary school. One day one little white girl flicked her hair in my cousin's face. My cousin flicked hers and told little Snotleigh, "so, I can do that too!"

That's funny your lil cousin but go ahead and let em know lol

 

[msa]

Thanks for the explanation! It didn't seem possible at first that I could be only a few inches past BSL and be WL. I also think I was getting WL and hip length mixed up.

I guess one perk of being shorter than average, or having a short torso, is that you reach WL sooner.

Yeah, I wish I was shorter. There's almost 20 inches from the nape of my neck to my natural waist. And 26 from my crown to my waist. This hair growing journey is going to be a LONG one for me.

And lots of ppl get WL and HL mixed up. WL on hair boards refers to your natural waist, not the waist of your jeans (which is where most people consider HL to be).

Either way, congrats on having such yummy hair and happy b-day! What a great gift!

 

[SEMO]

Yeah, I wish I was shorter. There's almost 20 inches from the nape of my neck to my natural waist. And 26 from my crown to my waist. This hair growing journey is going to be a LONG one for me.

And lots of ppl get WL and HL mixed up. WL on hair boards refers to your natural waist, not the waist of your jeans (which is where most people consider HL to be).

Either way, congrats on having such yummy hair and happy b-day! What a great gift!

It really was a nice surprise.

Maybe I should practice building my "hair confidence" around men. I don't think I would have any problem throwing it, stroking it, flipping it around, etc. around men. And I think they would by far be the most appreciative of my antics.

 

[Lucia]

I actually laughed out loud at this. Why did you make me think of this old Sunsilk commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzCUl4cG8X8&feature=PlayList&p=EA976AB4463FA096


You gon have my neck broke.

love this ad

 

[Geminigirl]

Well there you go, I'm only 5'3".

And I knew that there were women on here stopping traffic. I think I even remember someone making a thread about it.




I do the same thing. I just save all that "extra-ness" for the comfort of my own home.

LOL that is so funny. I could imagine someone being all extra at home. I know I do...all up in the mirror too...music playing

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

nope. i never felt self conscious when i had long hair. mostly because i always had it, so it was normal to me. i won't feel self conscious once i have my hair back either. i think i feel more self conscious now with this short hair. i don't feel like myself. ​

 

[QBOE2001]

Gurl....never worry about a weave check....if no one was hating on you then you probably weren't doing something right!!!!!!!!!! Keep on doing you and disregard the foolishness of others. You worked hard to have that wonderful head of hair so enjoy it. Happy Birthday!!!!! Now go out and be the best hair diva that the haters have ever seen.

 

[onejamifan]

Not self conscious, but I have noticed fewer women are wearing their hair long around these parts...

 

[anon123]

Happy belated birthday! And congratulations on waist length!

I can't say, since my hair is not as long as yours and it hasn't been really straight for many years. When it's blown out big, I do not feel self-conscious. I feel great! I feel so good that, when my hair is not blown out and I need a pick-me-up, I actually visualize myself with big hair. It puts extra pep in my step. You better flaunt that hair!

 

[HoneyA]

I understand you completely SEMO. My hair usually always in a bun or some other updo and when I take it down and wear it open, I get stares. I do feel self concious. When I'm in a bus, I make it a point to sit where no one can sit behind me. I get paranoid that someone might do something stupid...

 

[healthytext]

Happy birthday.

Yes. My straightened hair tends to fall into my face and blow around moreso than my curly hair. Believe it or not, I have been accused of "acting white", "trying to be white", or "thinking I'm cute" when putting my hair behind my ears or tossing it out of my face. It got to the point that I was actually afraid of touching my hair around certain people. My hair is heavy and tends to fall into my face and move a lot, especialy when straightened.

Your hair is so gorgeous and long. I completely understand what you are talking about.

ETA: I even read a blog catering to black women interested in interracial dating which pretty much stated that black women with long flowing hair that toss their hair are trying to show their power over black women with shorter hair that doesn't move. This made me even more self-conscious. I've never felt this way.

Oh man, I used to worry about all this too until I started telling myself that no one really cares and if they do it's not my problem. Now I love wearing my hair down and touching it, tossing it, pulling it back, running my fingers through it... It feels good.

 

[BostonMaria]

Wow, I did NOT expect all these responses when I got back. This has to be my most popular thread ever.

And thank you SO much to everyone who gave me birthday wishes. I had a great birthday yesterday.



You know what, I'm not sure. I thought the same thing when I saw the photo. But my hair is only a few inches past BSL. Also, I'm not too sure what waist length is. If it's the point where your ribcage ends and your sides dip in, then I think I am. It's pretty shocking to think about that. Also, what's the difference between MBL and WL? I thought I would be MBL when I straightened it, but maybe I just have a short torso.


After thinking about it more, people are probably not even paying me as much attention as I think. It's not like I've stopped traffic with my hair or caused accidents.

Unless your bra strap is down by your belly button
I suggest you change your siggie to full MBL or WSL LMAO

 

[MummysGirl]

Happy Belated Birthday and congratulations on reaching what looks like WL to me! Very inspirational!!!!!

 

[Brees_hair]

I wish I had this problem. can't say I can relate since my hair is only APL..but even trying to place myself in your shoes I can't relate. sorry :-/

BTW your hair is gorgeous....

 

[ladylibra]

Girl, when Becky flips her hair, don't no one accuse HER of stuntin'!

Yeah they do. One of my white friends is approaching hip length... and she has some seriously awesome hair. Ridiculously thick, with blunt ends... just amazing. You should hear some of the snotty things other white girls say about her when she takes her bun down after work...

But I digress...

 

[discodumpling]

I'm naturally snotty I flip & toss whether i'm wearing my hair nappy or straight & i'm only approaching APL! It's really not my fault that haters abound. I practise good hair care & I ain't scared to show off the fruits of my labour.

 

[shunemite]

I have a bob. When I see hair that long and I stare, it's longing. And admiration.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

I understand how uncomfortable it can be to be out in public with your hair out and pressed straight...

I'm only BSL and I feel the dagger eyes from jealous chicks. And don't let me be out with DH and children, the hate quotient goes up exponentially.

My goal length is classic, and I don't think I'll be able to hide my hair anymore at that length and with this crazy thickness. I'll just have to stock up on mace and nunchaku so that fools that want to act up can get dealt with post haste.

 

[BostonMaria]

I'm naturally snotty I flip & toss whether i'm wearing my hair nappy or straight & i'm only approaching APL! It's really not my fault that haters abound. I practise good hair care & I ain't scared to show off the fruits of my labour.

Naturally snotty LOL

That's right girl. Wear your hair down and be proud LOL

 

[Child0fGod]

Since going natural I rarely straighten my hair. But whenever I do I feel really conspicuous. ...when my hair is straight I feel like more people are looking at me, evaluating/judging me (like someone wearing a gold jacket to a funeral and everyone else is wearing black).

I can't fully explain what I mean. But I know that some people expect people with longer than average hair to be bougie, and that's not how I am. But I worry more about my actions and having to consciously avoid doing anything to give off this vibe (ex. no accidental hair flips/tosses to move my hair out of the way).

I know it sounds crazy. Anyone else felt this way though?

nope. no self-consciousness here. wouldn't change my hair for the world... (haha, no pun intended!!!). i won't cut it, won't dye it... nothing.

but, i definitely know how it can be and i'm sorry you are forced to feel that way, and even more sorry for the people who behave in a way to make you feel uncomfortable (ie; the whispers, the backbiting, the eye-rolling, the rude comments, etc).

just the other day a girl who i work with who i always got along with, threatened to cut my hair. it literally came out of no where... she even went so far as to call me "white." ...???? i've gotten that comment my entire life, i told her-- and that it didn't bother me. i say don't get caught up in the opinions of the overly-absorbed self-consciousness of OTHERS. they attempt to devalue a person by making them feel like an outcast. just shake your head (again, no pun intended! lol), and move on

hth,

 

[Child0fGod]

Yes. Believe it or not, I have been accused of "acting white", "trying to be white", or "thinking I'm cute" when putting my hair behind my ears or tossing it out of my face.

ditto. see my previous post erplexed whhoooa, too funny. i wrote the above before i even read any other other posts, lol

It got to the point that I was actually afraid of touching my hair around certain people. My hair is heavy and tends to fall into my face and move a lot, especialy when straightened.

hahahaha! tooo funny. i was like this for a while at work too. and, sometimes i still am. i caught my BOSS talking to another employee while looking at me... i went over and asked what they were saying about me (we all get along though). and, my BOSS said something to the extent of why am i always flipping my hair, yadda ya... I FLIP IT BECAUSE I HATE WHEN IT'S IN MY FACE (and i almost have a big forhead so i have to have something to cover it, LOLOL). but YEAH, since then i try not to flip so much when my boss is around, hahahaa

 

[Lucia]

nope. no self-consciousness here. wouldn't change my hair for the world... (haha, no pun intended!!!). i won't cut it, won't dye it... nothing.

but, i definitely know how it can be and i'm sorry you are forced to feel that way, and even more sorry for the people who behave in a way to make you feel uncomfortable (ie; the whispers, the backbiting, the eye-rolling, the rude comments, etc).

just the other day a girl who i work with who i always got along with, threatened to cut my hair. it literally came out of no where... she even went so far as to call me "white." ...???? i've gotten that comment my entire life, i told her-- and that it didn't bother me. i say don't get caught up in the opinions of the overly-absorbed self-consciousness of OTHERS. they attempt to devalue a person by making them feel like an outcast. just shake your head (again, no pun intended! lol), and move on

hth,

Did you call her out on that and how violent and hateful she sounds. She threatened you, and you should let her know that if she comes @ you that way she will either get beat-down or get arrested. Coming @ someone with scissors that's a weapon.

 

[Child0fGod]

I get a similar feeling that the OP described at times. Not because of length so much, but because of thickness. When my hair is straight, it's still "big"--if you know what I mean, and curly or straight, when it's out it does get attention and I always feel like I'm being looked at. The fact that I'm 5'9 doesn't help either. It's funny though. Even though when I have that feeling, I'm a little uncomfortable--but when I'm not getting it I'm wondering why and a lil disappointed. haha

ditto word for word:
"When my hair is straight, it's still "big"--if you know what I mean"
"The fact that I'm 5'9 doesn't help either." // I'm 5'8" same boat, lol!
"--but when I'm not getting it I'm wondering why and a lil disappointed. haha" // Haahaa, same here

 

[wavezncurlz]

I'm not self-conscious but I do notice the stares. I think it's b/c they are used to seeing my hair up and curly. They are shocked to realize that it is actually as long as it is. I only notice the blatent stares once on the train. I looked down and looked back up and caught the girl staring at me in the eye. It was really uncomfortable for both of us.

 

[TheGrimPhreaker]

I understand how uncomfortable it can be to be out in public with your hair out and pressed straight...

I'm only BSL and I feel the dagger eyes from jealous chicks. And don't let me be out with DH and children, the hate quotient goes up exponentially.

My goal length is classic, and I don't think I'll be able to hide my hair anymore at that length and with this crazy thickness. I'll just have to stock up on mace and nunchaku so that fools that want to act up can get dealt with post haste.

OMG SO FUNNY!!! seriously though, I have a pair of practice nunchuku if you want....

 

[Child0fGod]

ღ[/font]♥♡jane;8711328]

nope. i never felt self conscious when i had long hair. mostly because i always had it, so it was normal to me. i won't feel self conscious once i have my hair back either. i think i feel more self conscious now with this short hair. i don't feel like myself. ​

That’s probably why I’ve never been so self-conscious about it. Me younger:

Did you call her out on that and how violent and hateful she sounds. She threatened you, and you should let her know that if she comes @ you that way she will either get beat-down or get arrested. Coming @ someone with scissors that's a weapon.

You’re right. I said I’d sue, LOL! But, she came back with something else... I’ll have to research what it’s called if someone were to do something like that…….. assault? You know how you get along with people and they’re generally very nice to you? Then, a snide remark comes out of the blue sky? That’s how it is with her, and generally when that happens, it’s a person’s true feelings toward you.

Oh well.