Scenarios -- What Would You Do?

[Laela]

Scenario:
You're spending the weekend with DH at an exclusive get-away in another part of the state to celebrate your anniversary. You go out to dinner at the getaway's restaurant. It's a nice, dark, romantic place and you hear giggling and a laughter in another booth nearby. You both enjoy dinner but the laughter gets your attention. It later dies down and you see the couple leaving, heading toward the door. From your point of view, you can see the couple, and shocked to see it's one of the church members, but that is NOT her husband with her. They are standing there, arm in arm, chatting with the maitre'd. You are . Your DH can't see what you're seeing but after looking at your face, he asks 'what's wrong'. What do you do?

 

[LucieLoo12]

Ummm...good one...I would want to TRY and think that maybe she is arm an arm with her father or brother or uncle, something ...but I couldnt lie to my DH and say "nothing". I would say , " i think I seen Sis loanna with another man arm and arm, but I dont wanna assume nothing"

 

[Shimmie]

Scenario:
You're spending the weekend with DH at an exclusive get-away in another part of the state to celebrate your anniversary. You go out to dinner at the getaway's restaurant. It's a nice, dark, romantic place and you hear giggling and a laughter in another booth nearby. You both enjoy dinner but the laughter gets your attention. It later dies down and you see the couple leaving, heading toward the door.

From your point of view, you can see the couple, and shocked to see it's one of the church members, but that is NOT her husband with her.

They are standing there, arm in arm, chatting with the maitre'd. You are . Your DH can't see what you're seeing but after looking at your face, he asks 'what's wrong'. What do you do?

Well, you all ready know the first thing I'd do is 'Freeze' and stare in utter shock...

Actually, I think I'd greet her, ask how she's doing and ask if she'd come into the ladies room with me for a minute.

NOW that's provided that the ladies room is a clean one and has been sanitized, cause you know I'm a fanatic germaphobe.

I'd simply ask her if we could talk for a minute. Then privately, I'd ask her what's going on?

The other thing that I think I would have done is call her cell phone number, if I knew it, or sent a text which asked if she was okay and could we talk.

Then I'd come up with the old 'cliche' and say, "Now I don't want to pry'...

I would simply have to ask her what's going on and if all was well with her. I'd ask God to please give me the right words and the right approach. If she were to become offended, I'd ask her to forgive me, my heart is for her not against her. I'd leave the 'door' open for her to feel free to come and talk to me whenever she felt she wanted to.

ETA: I forgot all about poor 'Hubby'. I went straight to the issue.

 

[LucieLoo12]

Thats good! never thought of that....wisdom

 

[mrselle]

You know, I could have told my dad - they were both on the board. I could have told his wife, like a grandmother to me. I could have screamed and yelled at him, causing him to have a heart attack but I chose the high road. Besides, I had no intention on waiting at that bus stop for long...was looking for the next couple of ones to avoid him..but luckily, there came the bus!!! AHhhh, like butta. Like, did I mention he was around 80 or so? I'm going to puke to this very day.

Oh my...SMH. You handled yourself well. Once men get past a certain age I take their advances with a grain of salt. I'm thinking there is only so much an 80 year old man can do.

 

[mrselle]

Scenario:
You're spending the weekend with DH at an exclusive get-away in another part of the state to celebrate your anniversary. You go out to dinner at the getaway's restaurant. It's a nice, dark, romantic place and you hear giggling and a laughter in another booth nearby. You both enjoy dinner but the laughter gets your attention. It later dies down and you see the couple leaving, heading toward the door. From your point of view, you can see the couple, and shocked to see it's one of the church members, but that is NOT her husband with her. They are standing there, arm in arm, chatting with the maitre'd. You are . Your DH can't see what you're seeing but after looking at your face, he asks 'what's wrong'. What do you do?

I would tell hubby, "I think I just saw Jane" and then nod in her direction. I probably wouldn't approach her because I wouldn't want to embarass her. Something very similar happened to me when I was in college. I worked part-time at a department store. One evening while I was working I look up and I see a man and a woman from my church. The man was married, but not to the woman he was with. She was sitting down at the make-up counter and he was standing beside her. They weren't holding hands, they weren't arm in arm or anything like that. She noticed me and I saw her say something and then he turned in my direction. I smiled and waved and they did the same. I went about my business and they left. I never said a word to anyone. They were very active in the church. They both sang in the choir...the wife sang in the choir too and he was a minister. A couple weeks later I noticed that the two of them weren't singing in the choir anymore. Something that the pastor used to do would be to sit people down who were active in the church if there was something going on in their personal life that they needed to straighten out. Yep...they had been having an affair. I'm not sure how the wife found out, but I can only imagine how tough that might have been for her.

 

[Shimmie]

Oh my...SMH. You handled yourself well. Once men get past a certain age I take their advances with a grain of salt.

I'm thinking there is only so much an 80 year old man can do.

I know... it's a little frightful.

I can only imagine his teeth falling out in the attempt to make a smoocher.

 

[Shimmie]

I would tell hubby, "I think I just saw Jane" and then nod in her direction. I probably wouldn't approach her because I wouldn't want to embarass her. Something very similar happened to me when I was in college.

I worked part-time at a department store. One evening while I was working I look up and I see a man and a woman from my church. The man was married, but not to the woman he was with. She was sitting down at the make-up counter and he was standing beside her. They weren't holding hands, they weren't arm in arm or anything like that. She noticed me and I saw her say something and then he turned in my direction. I smiled and waved and they did the same.

I went about my business and they left. I never said a word to anyone. They were very active in the church. They both sang in the choir...the wife sang in the choir too and he was a minister.

A couple weeks later I noticed that the two of them weren't singing in the choir anymore. Something that the pastor used to do would be to sit people down who were active in the church if there was something going on in their personal life that they needed to straighten out.

Yep...they had been having an affair. I'm not sure how the wife found out, but I can only imagine how tough that might have been for her.

This is so sad. *sigh*

This is one of the reasons, God hates divorce and the acts that cause it...it's the deep pain that is causes for everyone; what hurts us, hurts God even more.

I hope they were able to reconcile their marriage.

 

[TraciChanel]

Laela, I actually witnessed something similar - I was at the movies and saw a lady who was in my bible study group at the time, with a man who was not her husband. I'd already spoken to her and hugged her before I realized she was with him. But, when I saw him, I realized why she was acting so distant and standoffish (totally opposite to how she was at church). It felt very awkward to say the least. She was older than me and I was apart of the church's college ministry. Back to the original scenario, if my DH asked what was wrong, I would tell him what I witnessed. I certainly would not have said anything to the woman in the scenario at the time, but I would pray for direction on how to handle the matter and if I felt convicted to do so, I would confront her about it.

Scenario:
You're spending the weekend with DH at an exclusive get-away in another part of the state to celebrate your anniversary. You go out to dinner at the getaway's restaurant. It's a nice, dark, romantic place and you hear giggling and a laughter in another booth nearby. You both enjoy dinner but the laughter gets your attention. It later dies down and you see the couple leaving, heading toward the door. From your point of view, you can see the couple, and shocked to see it's one of the church members, but that is NOT her husband with her. They are standing there, arm in arm, chatting with the maitre'd. You are . Your DH can't see what you're seeing but after looking at your face, he asks 'what's wrong'. What do you do?

 

[Shimmie]

Laela, I actually witnessed something similar - I was at the movies and saw a lady who was in my bible study group at the time, with a man who was not her husband. I'd already spoken to her and hugged her before I realized she was with him. But, when I saw him, I realized why she was acting so distant and standoffish (totally opposite to how she was at church). It felt very awkward to say the least. She was older than me and I was apart of the church's college ministry.

Back to the original scenario, if my DH asked what was wrong, I would tell him what I witnessed. I certainly would not have said anything to the woman in the scenario at the time, but I would pray for direction on how to handle the matter and if I felt convicted to do so, I would confront her about it.

I feel so sad for people in unhappy marriages. Somehow, I sense that some of these 'affairs' are being used as sedatives. I just feel an 'air' of saddness around all of this. It's grieving the heart of God.

 

[Guitarhero]

ochenta ? ? ? ! ! ! ? ? ?

Ai yi yi...

I'm sorry to laugh but, now I have this vision of a little old man telling you he's going to get his car so he can take you home and give you a kiss.

I would have fell out laughing at the bus stop...

I know this is a serious issue and I don't take it lightly, this man is too close to meeting Jesus and can't afford to sow any wild oats, 'soggy ones at that'... .

Ochenta y pico

 

[lilanie]

Scenario:
You're spending the weekend with DH at an exclusive get-away in another part of the state to celebrate your anniversary. You go out to dinner at the getaway's restaurant. It's a nice, dark, romantic place and you hear giggling and a laughter in another booth nearby. You both enjoy dinner but the laughter gets your attention. It later dies down and you see the couple leaving, heading toward the door. From your point of view, you can see the couple, and shocked to see it's one of the church members, but that is NOT her husband with her. They are standing there, arm in arm, chatting with the maitre'd. You are . Your DH can't see what you're seeing but after looking at your face, he asks 'what's wrong'. What do you do?

Oh wow... I would definitely freeze up and hope it was her twin (that's happened with my former Senior Pastor and his identical twin brother - alas the brother is chunkier).

Eeeeeeeeeeeek, that's a toughie. I know I would pray for peace for all involved ~ because that causes pain and quesiness that only God can soothe...

 

[Shimmie]

Ochenta y pico

I couldn't think in English, Ochenta was my only response...

 

[mrselle]

This is so sad. *sigh*

This is one of the reasons, God hates divorce and the acts that cause it...it's the deep pain that is causes for everyone; what hurts us, hurts God even more.

I hope they were able to reconcile their marriage.

No. Within a few weeks of me seeing them together he and his wife separated and once the divorce was finalized he and the other woman got married. The kicker? The pastor who married him and his first wife and knew what was going on married them. The other part of the story? A year or so after he remarried the pastor was speaking into his life and the life of his new wife and the life of the first wife. He told the first wife that the man was never really her husband to begin with and the reason he married them was because "they" were just doing what they thought they should do. He spoke to the new wife and told her to stop worrying because the man is her husband. (I hope all of that made sense.) I was young, still a little naive and a baby in Christ. I learned a lot at that church and some of it was disappointing.

 

[Rainbow Dash]

No. Within a few weeks of me seeing them together he and his wife separated and once the divorce was finalized he and the other woman got married. The kicker? The pastor who married him and his first wife and knew what was going on married them. The other part of the story? A year or so after he remarried the pastor was speaking into his life and the life of his new wife and the life of the first wife. He told the first wife that the man was never really her husband to begin with and the reason he married them was because "they" were just doing what they thought they should do. He spoke to the new wife and told her to stop worrying because the man is her husband. (I hope all of that made sense.) I was young, still a little naive and a baby in Christ. I learned a lot at that church and some of it was disappointing.

This is a big ol mess. Ain't no way. If I was the pastor, I would not have touched that second marriage. This had to be very hurtful to the first wife.

 

[Nice & Wavy]

I know... it's a little frightful.

I can only imagine his teeth falling out in the attempt to make a smoocher.

On the real...this happened to me.

I had a friend who dh and I saw at the mall with someone who was not her husband.erplexed Although we didn't say anything (she didn't see us) we knew that something needed to be done to help her marriage.

Dh and I decided that we were going to get together with her and her husband, so in church one Sunday, we made a date for the following Sunday after church service. That Tuesday...she was in a car accident and died.

I was devastated

I only wish I would have said something to her...maybe she would have repented for her actions (I can't tell ya'll the whole story on here) and possibly lived...I don't know, but it was hurtful to say the least.

If I would see something like this, I would say something..maybe not at that moment, but soon after.

 

[Shimmie]

No. Within a few weeks of me seeing them together he and his wife separated and once the divorce was finalized he and the other woman got married.

The kicker? The pastor who married him and his first wife and knew what was going on married them.

The other part of the story? A year or so after he remarried, the pastor was speaking into his life and the life of his new wife and the life of the first wife.

He told the first wife that the man was never really her husband to begin with and the reason he married them was because "they" were just doing what they thought they should do.

He spoke to the new wife and told her to stop worrying because the man is her husband.

(I hope all of that made sense.)

I was young, still a little naive and a baby in Christ. I learned a lot at that church and some of it was disappointing.

Yes Mrselle, it's makes sense, because I've been there too.

*sigh* I've witnessed this 'support of sin' and heard of this many times.

 

[mrselle]

On the real...this happened to me.

I had a friend who dh and I saw at the mall with someone who was not her husband.erplexed Although we didn't say anything (she didn't see us) we knew that something needed to be done to help her marriage.

Dh and I decided that we were going to get together with her and her husband, so in church one Sunday, we made a date for the following Sunday after church service. That Tuesday...she was in a car accident and died.

I was devastated

I only wish I would have said something to her...maybe she would have repented for her actions (I can't tell ya'll the whole story on here) and possibly lived...I don't know, but it was hurtful to say the least.

If I would see something like this, I would say something..maybe not at that moment, but soon after.

I gasped when I read this and I'm still shaking my head. I can't even begin to imagine...

 

[mrselle]

I just wanted to add this concerning infidelity...

A friend of mine had a husband who was cheating on her. She didn't know...or she said she didn't know. However, her parents did know. A friend of her parents saw the husband at dinner with another woman. The parents debated on whether or not to tell their daughter. They knew there had been problems in the past, but it seemed as though they were able to work things out and the daughter was pregnant. They didn't mention anything to her until she and her husband separated for the last time. I would like to think that if my parents saw my husband doing something crazy they would tell me...at least my mom would....she can't hold water...LOL. As a mother of four girls I can't imagine keeping such a secret from any of my girls, but maybe it's different if you don't witness the act for yourself. I know I try my best to not repeat hearsay.

 

[Laela]

^^ I have the kind of mom that won't let foolishness 'walk past her' .. She'd tell me...

 

[Shimmie]

On the real...this happened to me.

I had a friend who dh and I saw at the mall with someone who was not her husband.erplexed Although we didn't say anything (she didn't see us) we knew that something needed to be done to help her marriage.

Dh and I decided that we were going to get together with her and her husband, so in church one Sunday, we made a date for the following Sunday after church service. That Tuesday...she was in a car accident and died.

I was devastated

I only wish I would have said something to her...maybe she would have repented for her actions (I can't tell ya'll the whole story on here) and possibly lived...I don't know, but it was hurtful to say the least.

If I would see something like this, I would say something..maybe not at that moment, but soon after.

Ohhhhh Sis....

Correct me on this... A few years back, I think I remember you posting that a dear friend of yours was in a car accident and passed away. Was this the 'friend'? I truly stand corrected; forgive me if I've made a mistake here.

It seems you were praying for this family when you posted and asking us to pray for this family.

 

[Shimmie]

I gasped when I read this and I'm still shaking my head. I can't even begin to imagine...

I immediately 'felt' the hurt in this post... it's so sad.

 

[Nice & Wavy]

Ohhhhh Sis....

Correct me on this... A few years back, I think I remember you posting that a dear friend of yours was in a car accident and passed away. Was this the 'friend'? I truly stand corrected; forgive me if I've made a mistake here.

It seems you were praying for this family when you posted and asking us to pray for this family.

Yes, thanks for remembering. It was a tragedy...period.

When I was told...I just screamed! I couldn't believe it. You know how people always say "We have to get together one day...." well this time we actually set a date, and she died the Tuesday before...that blew my mind.

 

[Nice & Wavy]

I gasped when I read this and I'm still shaking my head. I can't even begin to imagine...

Thanks, sis...it was hard.

 

[Shimmie]

Yes, thanks for remembering. It was a tragedy...period.

When I was told...I just screamed! I couldn't believe it. You know how people always say "We have to get together one day...." well this time we actually set a date, and she died the Tuesday before...that blew my mind.

My baby sis.... Precious Wavy



You always 'carry' the burdens. You have a heart for people, a true heart, a woman's heart, God's heart. Always full of compassion for everyone, no matter who or what.

Do you know that there are those who would condemn this woman, even in her dying. You did not, instead you grieve the 'loss' of one so dear.

Women are vunerable, especially when attention is given to them that no one else is. In this case, I 'perceive' a woman who was 'lonely' in heart and someone (another man) was paying attention to her where there was a void otherwise.

Although she was taken away, it was the loving prayers that you and Pastor A (hubby) made for her, prior, that protected her soul and lead her home to Jesus.

You see, you and hubby didn't condemn her upon sight, you immediately took heart and hands as 'One' and prayed. It was meant for you to see her that night. Not someone else, but you and hubby. For you did not condemn her.

Jesus said, to her, 'Where are your accusers?'

There were none.

For there was 'you' and hubby in steadfast prayer.

Be at peace dearest one, be at peace. Your loving heart and prayers gave her the life she needed to enter into 'Eternal Life' and not death. She was able to 'go' and sin no more.

To God be the Glory, forever and ever, Amen. :Rose:

 

[LucieLoo12]

New Scenario

What would you do if DH told you that he has feeling for one of the other sisters at yall church? .. He didnt say he wants a divorce, he just tells you he noticed the feeling for Sister Rebecca and dont know how to handle them??

 

[Laela]

Hmm.. good one...

first, I'd likely look at him like this...

 

[Laela]

I remember something along those lines but I can only imagine what you went through then. Thank God for His Mercy and Wisdom.... you and your hubby were there and in her life for a reason for sure...

Yes, thanks for remembering. It was a tragedy...period.

When I was told...I just screamed! I couldn't believe it. You know how people always say "We have to get together one day...." well this time we actually set a date, and she died the Tuesday before...that blew my mind.

 

[Nice & Wavy]

My baby sis.... Precious Wavy



You always 'carry' the burdens. You have a heart for people, a true heart, a woman's heart, God's heart. Always full of compassion for everyone, no matter who or what.

Do you know that there are those who would condemn this woman, even in her dying. You did not, instead you grieve the 'loss' of one so dear.

Women are vunerable, especially when attention is given to them that no one else is. In this case, I 'perceive' a woman who was 'lonely' in heart and someone (another man) was paying attention to her where there was a void otherwise.

Although she was taken away, it was the loving prayers that you and Pastor A (hubby) made for her, prior, that protected her soul and lead her home to Jesus.

You see, you and hubby didn't condemn her upon sight, you immediately took heart and hands as 'One' and prayed. It was meant for you to see her that night. Not someone else, but you and hubby. For you did not condemn her.

Jesus said, to her, 'Where are your accusers?'

There were none.

For there was 'you' and hubby in steadfast prayer.

Be at peace dearest one, be at peace. Your loving heart and prayers gave her the life she needed to enter into 'Eternal Life' and not death. She was able to 'go' and sin no more.

To God be the Glory, forever and ever, Amen. :Rose:

I'm so happy to have you as my sister...you are so encouraging and comforting. Thank you so much

I remember something along those lines but I can only imagine what you went through then. Thank God for His Mercy and Wisdom.... you and your hubby were there and in her life for a reason for sure...

Thank you, sis You words are a blessing to me!

 

[LucieLoo12]

oh my! i bust out laughing when I seen this!!

Hmm.. good one...

first, I'd likely look at him like this...