CandiceC
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I'm one of those that don't support same sex weddings. I don't support other sins either though.
I'm not perfect so I'm not above repenting if I do something wrong.
Same Sex Wedding
- Thread starter CurleeDST
- Start date
I'm one of those that don't support same sex weddings. I don't support other sins either though.
I'm not perfect so I'm not above repenting if I do something wrong.
Yep it gets a little hazy when dood is all up on/ IN you. But you cant support someone elses happiness. Negros and flies I do despise........
song_of_serenity
Well-Known Member
I'll direct my edited to add to you as well.
~*Janelle~*
And as per your edit, I love them despite their sins. I'm not the one who forgives sin. GOD does. So please take that up with him, not I. I will, once again (since it seems to be forgotten quickly by some) love you no matter what. NO matter who you are, what you've done or are currently doing. I won't accept it. I'm in no position to forgive unless I was wronged. They aren't wronging ME by their lifestyle so what am I forgiving? As for God, he forgives all.
And to be clear, the only "not to be clear on what the bible says" was what I presented about baby showers. Can you please find me a scripture on celebrations upon a baby's birth if the mum is wed or unwed? That's what I addressed. Don't get it twisted and don't put words in my mouth or try to paint me out as a "bad person" because I cut the rope you were trying to entangle me in with the word. You claim Christ, as do I. We are to be brothers and sisters and our source IS the word, which I come by. I'm not here for strife, especially among believers. So I'll extend the olive branch to you and ask you to clarify to me what confuses you.
BillsBackerz67
Well-Known Member
It's kind of like that druggie in someone's life. You don't accept them using drugs and you certainly are not a part of their lifestyle. But you are (if tolerant because that situation seems as if it's DRAINING and I don't blame for loving them from afar!) in their lives you still love them as a person and a living soul. They are a soul.
I will love them. And if they introduced _______ as their "boyfriend" (I only had male gay friends) then I say pleased to meet you, I'm Janelle. I don't say "Hey!" *handshake* Guess what, I'm bible thumper number 23736235243154 and I DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!!" They know beforehand I'm Christian.
And to end that situation off, I'm sure you or anyone else on this board has friends that are just that. Friends. That doesn't mean you are automatically friends with their significant other. Does it? No, it doesn't. I see many posts here about "My girl's man is this and that" and they can't STAND the man, so they just associate with their girl and the man isn't a part of their life or friendship. Would you end a relationship with YOUR friend because you don't agree with HER relationship? No, I doubt you would.
I let people know who I am and what I stand for. I don't yell it from the rooftops. It's a big part of my life. I sing on the choir, I attend church several times a week so it would come up in conversation. It's apparent. And THEM, knowing what I feel against homosexuality would be the ones to say "I don't want to be your friend because of how you feel about MY lifestyle." But they choose to stay.And even if they left, I'd still be praying for their souls. They choose to stay and I pray for them.
I won't ever go to their drag shows, or do makeup or help them zip up a dress. I won't go guy watching with them. I wouldn't go to a club and have them teach me the newest vogue mix. But if they need someone to talk to, I'm there. If they need prayer, I'm there. It won't ever, no matter what they do, stop me from loving the fact that they are God's children. And as God loves me, I am to love them. Not what they do, but because who they are.
~*Janelle~*
Interesting point. But the whole dynamics change once someone becomes married. At least when my friends had those busted SO's I knew it wouldnt be for the long haul anyway so regardless if what happened with scrub on the passengers side of his bestfriend's ride, our friendship would not be affected unless she was THAT dick whipped or plain out dumb.
But since I dont have friends like that to begin with, that's the least of my concern. However if they married someone and I had a huge prob with him (it would have to be for a really really valid reason)...guess what? my feelings are null because DH comes before me, I dont have a problem with that but instead of adding that stress on to their marriage I would change the dynamics of our relationship drastically out of respect for their marriage. Probably to associate status (meaning Im here for you whenever you need me) or just not be friends with her at all. Not because Im puposely trying to make it difficult, but I dont want to be the cause of anytype of marital strain on their behalf. Not having mutual friends and commonalities create that.
As a friend, talking on the phone every few years and sending emails every once in a bluemoon makes no sense to me. I would rather not talk at all. But our aspect of friendships are entirely different from one another so it is what it is.
song_of_serenity
Well-Known Member
It works for some people. I won't knock that because oh, "My friendship with Casy is like so and so...Marcia's not a real friend with Sasha because they only talk once every day." It won't work for you, and you should keep the friendship the way you want. But others do have such friends.
And no, no one should remain in a situation where it's volitile and your friendship is affected. And yes, feel free to change according with their DH! If someone got married, I surely wouldn't expect them to carry on with me as they did as a "single" girl. If it comes down to it, if one side or both sides doesn't want it that way, end it.
But if both sides agree and remain quite close, then where is the problem?
~*Janelle~*
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song_of_serenity
Well-Known Member
No, that wasn't the situation I was speaking of. I included fornication/adultury as well. Neither which I practice. And if you wanna put it out there on "hazy when dude is in you" I'm very much a virgin. So no, don't apply to me. It's all sin. Sin, as I said before, is sin is sin. Right? I don't sin in that respect, but I'm not perfect, meaning I, as we all, DO sin. But the difference is, we don't PRACTICE it. So what's the problem?
I wish people would stick to the conversation. :/ If you ask me to "answer this question" and I answer it, and you can't find a retort to said answer, stop trying to group up and get on the person. It's a conversation, we are adults here and we can surely do that without resorting to other things, right?
~*Janelle~*
Bint Yusef
New Member
I think its perfectly fine if folks feel that attending disregards their religious values. I just dont understand even keeping the company of a person whose lifestyle is so vastly different for yours or values.
I wouldnt want to be friends with someone whose lifestyle I hated. I know plenty of nice people who make choices so wildly different than anything I would approve of, we just cant be friends. I like my friends to be compatible with me. Not saying its negative or postive, just what it is.
I wouldnt be friends with people whose values differ so much from my own as it would cause me not to be able to support them on the biggest day of their life. I dont want friends I have to do that to either, and chances are we wont have a good time cuz I will be too busy shaking my head at their "lifestyle".
I wouldnt want to be friends with someone whose lifestyle I hated. I know plenty of nice people who make choices so wildly different than anything I would approve of, we just cant be friends. I like my friends to be compatible with me. Not saying its negative or postive, just what it is.
I wouldnt be friends with people whose values differ so much from my own as it would cause me not to be able to support them on the biggest day of their life. I dont want friends I have to do that to either, and chances are we wont have a good time cuz I will be too busy shaking my head at their "lifestyle".
firecracker
Well-Known Member
Girl I'm not mad at you. You are avoiding alot of frustration and ackward moments.
CandiceC
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When I thought of the question. I said no. But I also couldn't think of anyone close who'd I'd be in this situation with because of the company I keep/don't keep. Now if they're a relative, I can't help but be related to them. They wouldn't be surprised if I didn't show up to their same sex wedding though.
DreadlockedLady0171
New Member
I agree...why a person would even be "friends" with someone when you completely despise their lifestyle is beyond me. I wouldn't want a "friend" like that.
I was friends with someone who was ok otherwise but we had vastly different viewpoints on an issue that was important to me and still is. Well, needless to say, we ain't friends anymore and that's how I choose what company to keep
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Now you know you are making too much sense.
Anyway, I'm not up for the religious debate tonight so I'm gonna K.I.M.
Good night and good luck......
BillsBackerz67
Well-Known Member
Again thats not what Im saying. I already have a bf who is married and preggo with a child. Our dynamics have changed dramatically because we lead a completely different lifestyle.... BUT I would never impose my "singleness" on her marriage. She's a bore to club with anyway but I love her to deathIt works for some people. I won't knock that because oh, "My friendship with Casy is like so and so...Marcia's not a real friend with Sasha because they only talk once every day."
And no, no one should remain in a situation where it's volitile and your friendship is affected. And yes, feel free to change according with their DH! If someone got married, I surely wouldn't expect them to carry on with me as they did as a "single" girl. If it comes down to it, if one side or both sides doesn't want it that way, end it.
But if both sides agree and remain quite close, then where is the problem?
~*Janelle~*
She's knows that when I come visit her (she lives in Jersey City) Im there 2 days tops and then I go to NYC to chill with the rest of my single friends. Chillin in the house or being a third wheel on a date with her and DH is wack. Anyhow I would never end our friendship over our different choices of lifestyle because Im not one to impose anything on anyone. One day I might be married with kids so at that point our dynamics would change again and we might become *like this* 
again. Her kids will prob be adults by the time I settle down but hey we now have more in common. But if I had a HUGE prob with her DH we would not be friends at all. Where there is her there is DH. If our friendship ended best believe it wouldnt be because Im single...unless she's the with the prob of me being single.
Bint Yusef
New Member
I think that is the best way to go about it.
PassionFruit
New Member
yep especially since NEITHER subject is supposed to be discussed on this part of the forum
song_of_serenity
Well-Known Member
Again thats not what Im saying. I already have a bf who is married and preggo with a child. Our dynamics have changed dramatically because we lead a completely different lifestyle.... BUT I would never impose my "singleness" on her marriage. She's a bore to club with anyway but I love her to death
That's exactly what I was talking about to begin with.
I don't "impose" my Christianity, either so that's pretty much how I feel about things in a nutshell.~*Janelle~*
Ramya
New Member
I think it comes down to the dynamics of the friendship. I depend on my inner circle for a lot of things. They are essentially a part of who I am. We call each other out when we see that one is falling, back sliding or not following God's word...speaking the Truth in love. I could not have an intimate friendship with someone who OPENLY and purposefully sins. 
Yes, I will always sin, but NEVER on purpose.
Yes, I will always sin, but NEVER on purpose.
song_of_serenity
Well-Known Member
You're right, it isn't, same sex or religion. I'm sure the mods are watching to see if it'll get out of hand or not. So far, it's remained for the most part, civil. But it may be shut. However, I've seen religious threads spill out in the O/T forum and not get closed UNLESS someone got hostile and nasty and personally attacking someone. And this isn't about someone talking about HER/HIS marriage to another MALE/FEMALE so I suppose it's allowed since they say "YOUR relationship." This is just a hypothetical question so...
who knows. They decide what stays and goes, we post until they chose to clank.
~*Janelle~*
firecracker
Well-Known Member
Sorry ya'll ain't no way there will be a discussion here about same sex anything without folks bringing up religion and sinning. Same goes for abortion, fornicating, OWW, shacking, mac'ing and the list goes on.
Sorry ya'll ain't no way there will be a discussion here about same sex anything without folks bringing up religion and sinning. Same goes for abortion, fornicating, OWW, shacking, mac'ing and the list goes on.
Yep its LHCF. Its a given
I wish people would stick to the conversation. :/ If you ask me to "answer this question" and I answer it, and you can't find a retort to said answer, stop trying to group up and get on the person. It's a conversation, we are adults here and we can surely do that without resorting to other things, right?
~*Janelle~*
I was not trying to group or or get at you. I was not referencing you in my response. I think I was perfectly in bounds to ask the question that I asked. It always gets "personal" when someone has to think about the things that they have done/still do.
BillsBackerz67
Well-Known Member
Thats what I was asking this entire time. Granted I just posted how my bf and I have completely different lifestyles, but the way we chose our paths has not cassed a rift between us as of yet, and I doubt it will. I dont disapprove of her being married and she doesnt disapprove of my being single so it works for us. I knew from the day I met her that she wanted this huge housewife type of marriage while she knew that I thought she was a total nut job for wanting that (we were teenagers at the time, and I no longer think this way). So it wasn't a huge shock to us when our paths started to diverge once we graduated from highschool. We made adjustments and followed through.But anyway the whole jist is we're both heterosexuals so we have the same commonalities and beliefs.... just not simultanelously. Eventually I'll be married to a man, and eventually I'll have children just like she does (okay maybe), but it aint happening anytime soon. The whole "I dont approve of my friends gay lifestyle" has a greater trickle down effect of ending a friendship and lifestyle changes than what i stated about my friends marriage and our relationship IMO.
That was why I questioned the whole point of being friends if your lifestyles and beliefs just dont mesh, and will never mesh. Its more mentally exhausting that way. Im not that deep of a thinker so I would just give up and wish them the best
Now of course Im not gay, but I dont have a preb with it either and it doesnt stop me from being supportive, which is why I would still befriend someone who was gay. If I did I would just flat our not befriend gays rather than be half way about it.
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That was why I questioned the whole point of being friends if your lifestyles and beliefs just dont mesh, and will never mesh. Its more mentally exhausting that way. Im not that deep of a thinker so I would just give up and wish them the best
Now of course Im not gay, but I dont have a preb with it either and it doesnt stop me from being supportive, which is why I would still befriend someone who was gay. If I did I would just flat our not befriend gays rather than be half way about it.
A friend who can not celebrate in your happiness is no friend at all
Bint Yusef
New Member
Yep there are differences and then there are just plain ole ideological conflicts. The latter is just not even worth dealing with, imho, especially if it calls for hating a lifestyle and disappointing folks on their wedding day.
But anyway the whole jist is we're both heterosexuals so we have the same commonalities and beliefs.... just not simultanelously. Eventually I'll be married to a man, and eventually I'll have children just like she does (okay maybe), but it aint happening anytime soon. The whole "I dont approve of my friends gay lifestyle" has a greater trickle down effect of ending a friendship and lifestyle changes than what i stated about my friends marriage and our relationship IMO.
That was why I questioned the whole point of being friends if your lifestyles and beliefs just dont mesh, and will never mesh. Its more mentally exhausting that way. Im not that deep of a thinker so I would just give up and wish them the best
Now of course Im not gay, but I dont have a preb with it either and it doesnt stop me from being supportive, which is why I would still befriend someone who was gay. If I did I would just flat our not befriend gays rather than be half way about it.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
secretdiamond
Well-Known Member
I think it comes down to the dynamics of the friendship. I depend on my inner circle for a lot of things. They are essentially a part of who I am. We call each other out when we see that one is falling, back sliding or not following God's word...speaking the Truth in love. I could not have an intimate friendship with someone who OPENLY and purposefully sins.
IMO, I think you just sinned.
ETA: it's a halfway joke.
Mrs. Verde
Well-Known Member
Agree with the ^^^^^^^^^ 100%. I would absolutely attend the wedding off a friend regardless the sex, race, religion, or sports affiliation of each participant.A friend who can not celebrate in your happiness is no friend at all
Nalin
Well-Known Member
divya
Well-Known Member
People end up having friends for all sorts of reasons. My friend and I attend law school together and we got to know each other through working for months on something. Generally, I probably wouldn't end up with gay/bisexual friends, but sexuality isn't the basis of our friendship. However, We have a similar experience at this time that takes up the majority of our lives.
I can see how that may happen for other people as well. There is no reason for me to shake my head at anyone's lifestyle as they would know not to invite me to their wedding, because they know where I stand. The same would go for the person getting remarried after divorcing for a reason other than infidelity.
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Ms.Nigeria
New Member
thats what friends are for
MahoganyRain
New Member
I have no problem going to a same sex wedding. Whether it is as a date or as a friend. I think marriage is a beautiful thing no matter the sexual preference.