@Plushottie
((BIG HUG))
OK, let's brainstorm!!
Tangles and SSKs are signs of multiple things so we'll have to flesh out a lot in order to get to the bottom of it. MY initial thoughts are:
1) It sounds to me like your hair is dry
Some ppl can moisturize their hair once week and wash and DC biweekly with no problem. Some ppl, like me, HAVE to moisturize daily and sometimes twice a day to stay ahead of dryness. No amount of DCing with heat, gives my hair enough moisture to last. After 2+ days, my hair is seeking water/moisture. Once I listen to her, my hair turned around for the better. Perhaps your hair is telling you the same thing.
That's why I was saying in the other thread to find a way to incorporate M&Sing daily. If you cut to every other day or every few days, then it's harder to establish the HABIT of doing it and easier to skip doing it on that 2nd or 3rd day bc you won't feel like it. BUT if you make it a habit to do it, before you put on your wig or right before you do your makeup for the day, then it becomes easier to do it without thinking about it.
Maybe focus on developing a moisture-rich regi. Use only moisturizing products in all of your steps. Cycle in some protein via a shampoo, a DC or a leave in biweekly or so. My favorite is Infusium 23 original formula. I use it as a leave in along with cholesterol conditioner to cornrow my hair.
2) Consider GHEing at night under your scarf. It's a great way increase moisture without doing anything! You don't even have to apply anything to your hair before you put on that plastic cap. You can do it at night or during the day. Just plop it on and cover with your scarf or a cute turban.
3) I wonder if your hair could benefit from a good chelating.
Sometimes there are extra minerals either from the relaxer used, the water in the area or even the water fixtures in the home that will require you to have to chelate more often. Chelating can fix hair that sticks together and then knots up.
4) If you're almost a year post, your hair very delicate right now.
HOW you handle it while you're styling matters. And you have to consider the type of style you're trying to do with one year of new growth and a delicate line of demarcation where your relaxed hair is meeting your natural hair. You can't manipulate the hair as much when you have that much new growth! I wouldn't dare attempt a blow out with one year's worth of ng.
Also, perhaps your hair doesn't wanna stretch relaxers that long! I've seen so many transitioning ladies cut before they intend to bc the two textures interfere with each other. They also complain that their hair sheds more the longer they stretch. Your hair might be telling you that it's time to poop or get off of the pot! Relax or cut! lol
5) Do everything in braids!
It's a trick I learned when I was natural and I carried it into my relaxed HHJ. I wash, DC, M&S and even style in braids. It's especially important if you're doing long stretches like that - even unintentionally stretching. The longer it's been, the more delicate you have to be when doing your hair. If my hair is loose, I wash in two braided pigtails with loose roots or four plaits with loose roots (if my hair is short). I DC in those same braids. I only take them down after my hair is at least 50-80% dry and then I M&S and style.
6) I would absolutely do a search on wigs and retention on here!!
I said in the other thread that the most astonishing before and afters or progress photos I've EVER seen on the hair boards have been wig and weave ladies. Sometimes braids ladies too but they don't compare to the wigs and weaves when it comes to retention results. I recommended it in the other thread and I had every intention of helping you with that once I'm off work in the morning (My on-call weekend shift is Fri eve - Mon morn). I meant what I said. Finding what works for you might take some digging but we'll find it!!
7) Let's find some short cuts that will work for you!
When we're not in a good place mentally, we need at least one style or technique or something that we can do with minimal effort.
My short cut is Ayurveda. I mix up my products when I'm in a good mental place so that when I'm not, my hair doesn't suffer. I have also been able to cut out DCing bc the herbs and powders provide my hair the nutrients I need.
Water rinsing is another shortcut for me. I do it while I'm in the shower and it relaxes me mentally. When I get out I slather on a condish and/or an oil and that's it. I also cover my hair right away bc my hair won't air-dry soft if I leave it out in the actual air. lol. But if I tie it down with a scarf to dry, then it dries softer.
One of my other short cuts used to be dry DCing. I would just slather on the DC without taking my hair out of the style it's in. And then cover with a plastic cap and a scarf or cap. I would even sleep in it sometimes. And I would just rinse it out in the next shower I took.
I've seen ppl combine shampoo and condish in the same step. Style wise, two braided pigtails could fit under a wig just as well as cornrows. Maybe it's curly wigs for that week or something to hide any lumps.
Now, on to the questions:
What do you wash your hair with?
HOW do you wash your hair?
Do you follow with DC?
What DC do you use?
How do you DC?
Do you DC with heat?
If your hair is braided under the wigs, could some of that hair coming out actually be shed hair?
How do you moisturize your hair?
Are you taking any multivitamins?
How's your stress?
It might seem like the task is impossible or your hair is just the worst but that's not true!! I always feel bad when I see ladies who've been struggling on here for so long to find what works. It WILL click. You WILL find it.
For those of us who struggle with periods where mental health kicks our butt, we've got to give ourselves a break! Find a style that you can fall back on during those times and ride it out. ((HUG))
). I think mine is close to that.
My goal is to improve that to every 2-3 weeks. My hair has been happy with the Ayurveda mixes I use in all of my steps so I haven't seen any issues. BUT I know my hair can be improved by regular DCing with heat.
) just squirt some product into their hands and haphazardly apply all over their heads. I don’t do that. I separate my hair into quads, and then I breakdown those sections into thirds. I apply my moisturizer to my relaxed ends first, massaging it into the length. I then take more product and massage it directly into the new growth. Finally, I seal the whole section with an oil. This keeps my entire head moisturized for days, but I don’t wait until it’s dried out to moisturize it again. I do it at least every other day. If life gets in the way, and it’s been a few days, then I will spray everything with a liquid leave-in or plain water before doing the above process.
It's not gonna hurt your hair.
