RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice??

[GoingNatural]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

lol! I'm good! I been reading your blog, interesting stuff! WHat happened to chat, ain't nobody in there anymore

isn't my life pitiful?? everyone moved their behinds to twitter and act like twitter is a dang chat room! lol Are you a tweeter?

 

[GoingNatural]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

Good post---unfortunately most of the times yes. As a 4a/b I know that I can't just "rollerset" my hair with magnetic rollers and expect it to come out "straight"---but 3a/b/c can. I know that as a 4a/b I tend to prefer advice from someone whose hair is similar in texture to mine--but I won't just dismiss someone with looser texture hair just because it is a different texture--depends on the circumstances.

I don't know how to do my own hair but I have seen Ethiopians and Dominicans do AMAZING things to get all types of hair straight.

 

[FeelinIt]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

I've seen a few 3c's with hair issues, but all of my 1-3b friends have no trouble growing long healthy hair even without most of the techniques used on this board. It is nothing personal, but just like seeing women that you can relate to helps sell things in advertisements, seeing hair that you can relate to helps "sell" hair care advice.

As much as I hate to say it...I am more likely, almost exclusively only willing to take most of my hair advice from similiar hair types. My hair is def 4b and the dryness, matting, tangles and knots are a ****!!! I could not in mere seconds detangle my hair, use fingers to comb it out. A 1-3c type will retain hair much easier than a 4a/bcdefg and so on. So I really don't see anything wrong with taking advice from people in similar situations.

BUT on the other side...I feel the OP's frustration to some extent. I've tried to give hair advice to fam and they state that I have a "good grade of hair". It is frustrating but I understand...

 

[naijamerican]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

Intersting things I'm hearing here.

I didn't know there was such a "divide"

Seems like we all use similar products, techniques and tools.

Not saying every aspect is the same. There are some things that type 3 hair can't do and some things that type 4 hair can't do... but I don't see them as totally unrelated hair textures.

To me, that's the heart of the issue. I'm a 4A/B type and while I do tend to seek product advice from those of a similar texture, the fundamental techniques and the ingredients of certain products are the same across the board. Do I expect that if I use Qhemet Biologics Olive and Honey Balm that it will magically transform my kinks to Shirley Temple curls? No. But I do expect that it will draw and trap moisture to my hair - and that's a realistic expectation for anyone with textured hair, whether it's 2B or 5Z. The styling needs are different, such as the fact that I need higher moisture levels in my hair than a 3B would, even a strictly 4A would. I also have a greater need for protective styling so as to avoid knots. But the fundamental practices of deep conditioning, hot oil treatments, etc. - aren't those the same? erplexed

 

[Kurlee]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

isn't my life pitiful?? everyone moved their behinds to twitter and act like twitter is a dang chat room! lol Are you a tweeter?

naw. I don't have a bb and am too lazy to sign in on the comp all the time and post "eating triscuit crackers"

 

[kblc06]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

Typing bothers me but I go with it. Typing tells you the size of your curls, waves, Z's hatever but not the texture. A close friend of mine is 3b but she has very high textured hair--her curls just happen to be bigger.

This is EXACTLY the case with me. There are parts of my hair that are 2c/3a with a barely definable wave pattern but feel like type 4 hair (thready/fluffy). My moisture issues are very much the same as many type 3/4s, but because my natural hair can lay down or be defined with product, many disregard my advice. I now give advice only when asked particularly in regards to an issue that I've encountered.

This thread is one prime example of such:

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=269659&highlight=the+dumbest+hair+advice

 

[GoingNatural]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

naw. I don't have a bb and am too lazy to sign in on the comp all the time and post "eating triscuit crackers"

lol it's so much more than that. it's a blast. it works on any phone! boooo

 

[PerplexingComplex]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

Nope...I have type 4 hair and people still don't listen to me. They've seen my straightened length and asked me what I do, but then tell me I got "good hair" so I can get away with doing certain things. When it's shrunken all of a sudden my hair is back to being "bad hair". Very odd.

 

[MontegoBayBaby]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

GoingNatural, I know what you are saying. I have very dark, long hair but seriously thats where it ends. And, you know there are some advice thats very general and is not specific to hair type. I don't know what hair type I have but if someone's hair looks banging like they know their stuff I have no problems asking what's the deal regardless of what hair type they have.

 

[mkd]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

its ok... people dont listen to me too...
its also probably cuz you're light skinned... i find other black women that aren't light skinned or mixed really have a problem with me in general...
you're beautiful and seem like a nice girl don't take it personal... and geez your hair is GREAT!

erplexed at the bolded.

 

[Oasis]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

When it comes to specific products and certain techniques I only listen to those who have similar hair.

But when it comes to basic healthy hair care I'll take advice from anyone. I'm going through this right now with my cousin. She frequently compliments my hair but won't do anything I suggest because my hair is supposedly different from hers.

 

[HoneyA]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

If you are a 3c and she has a different hair type then I can understand why she might be sceptical. If she's never been on a hair board the basic information you give to her will not be basic but completely foreign and to be taken with a grain of salt because, in her eyes, you have a different type of hair.

When I first started my journey, I went to fotkis of 4a/4b heads because I needed proof that my hair could grow to BSL and beyond. When I got that proof I was able to relax and concentrate on growing my hair long. Maybe if you showed her some pictures of 4a/4b heads with long hair or some 3c heads of long hair, she would take you seriously. You can't undo years of her thinking that her hair can't grow to long lengths in 2 minutes without proof, unfortunately.

ETA: Took me about an hour or two to convince myself it was even possible the day I found growafrohairlong.com.

 

[Amerie123]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

I don't understand why we get on LHCF, and get "brand new", and this isn't directed to you OP at all. I can understand your frustration, but unfortunately, it is what it is. Hair types play a major role in growth/retention process. Why cant we see why one wouldn't be willing to take advice from someone with a different texture?

We live in a world where type 3, whether they take care of it or not, will most likely retain length (not ALL the time just to be clear), but you see it. You also see a lot more type 4 hair, who has probably tried everything to have healthy hair, including frequent washes, but sometimes they don't retain as well. Again, not ALL of the time, but the percentage is big.

Now because I have been on LHCF, and I've learned a thing or two, I am more willing to accept advice from a person with a different hair type, but even still, I will always take the person with my hair type's advice before I'd take advice of a person who doesn't understand my struggles. Again, it is what it is.

ETA: Now, I do know that from your OP, she just doesn't want to be educated, because you gave her more than just your routine, you've informed here that there are girls on here that probably have her same hair type and still grows to long lengths with certain techniques. Therefore, there's nothing more you can do. One day she may ask you, 'what's that site that you was telling me about?'..

 

[MonPetite]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

I have defined curls (if I don't fuzz/brush/pick them out) and for years my relatives with tight coils and kinks (which would look gorgeous if left alone) who are jack-laxed tried to tell me how to take care of my hair when I went first natural and were angry I didn't listen, LOL!

What a world!

Now they ask for MY advice...having done a bone-laxed, sleek bob stint recently (I BCed again)...but yet...won't follow it. They claim: You have curly hair so it wont work.

THEN WHY DID YOU GIVE ME ADVICE BASED ON YOUR HAIR TYPE AND EXPECT IT TO WORK IF HAIR TYPES ARE SUCH A STUMBLING BLOCK?

What's the next stage? I have no idea.

As other posters have said, don't take it seriously or personally.

It's frustrating, I agree.

I can also see other poster's point as well.

However, objections to hair advice that are laced with "I've given up"/"I don't want to try" veiled by "Well, that works for you, because you have good hair/curly hair/type 3-what-have-you" are far different than an objection that goes along the lines of "That probably works with your texture, but do you think doing that XYZ way could still be useful? I think that may work better, as our textures are a bit different".

Unfortunately, the latter response would come from someone who has some clue as to how to take care of their hair to begin with. Such is hair.

 

[Neith]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

I don't understand why we get on LHCF, and get "brand new", and this isn't directed to you OP at all. I can understand your frustration, but unfortunately, it is what it is. Hair types play a major role in growth/retention process. Why cant we see why one wouldn't be willing to take advice from someone with a different texture?

We live in a world where type 3, whether they take care of it or not, will most likely retain length (not ALL the time just to be clear), but you see it. You also see a lot more type 4 hair, who has probably tried everything to have healthy hair, including frequent washes, but sometimes they don't retain as well. Again, not ALL of the time, but the percentage is big.

Now because I have been on LHCF, and I've learned a thing or two, I am more willing to accept advice from a person with a different hair type, but even still, I will always take the person with my hair type's advice before I'd take advice of a person who doesn't understand my struggles. Again, it is what it is.

ETA: Now, I do know that from your OP, she just doesn't want to be educated, because you gave her more than just your routine, you've informed here that there are girls on here that probably have her same hair type and still grows to long lengths with certain techniques. Therefore, there's nothing more you can do. One day she may ask you, 'what's that site that you was telling me about?'..

I'm not acting "brand new".

You can learn something new from anyone.

While I do understand looking out for those with your hair type for specific info, I don't understand just ignoring what other people have to say (not saying that you do this).

We all have afro textured hair here. As much as people talk about how different the hair types are, we are basically doing the same dang things to our hair


I find it funny that people don't realize that.

My regimen (very coarse 4a hair):

Co washes
Hot Oil Treatments
Wash n' Gos
Twist outs

MANY type 3's do these things and use the same products on top of it. Just an example.


Again. Not saying there are NO differences at all.

We all have a wealth of knowledge and it'd be silly to not take advantage of it.


Other examples of things WIDELY used across the board regardless of texture:

Baking Soda Treatments
Coconut + Lime Treatment
MN, BT, MTG, Megatek
Kiyafizzle
Caramel Treatment
Co Washing
Frequent DCing
Sealing moisture with oil
Denman
Cherylola treatment
Miss Jessie's Curly Pudding
Steaming
BKT

Etc... I could go on and on.

And... We use very similar products across the board as well.

What if someone with 3a hair comes up with something new and amazing that works great or can be tweaked to work great on more kinky textures?

Then there are people who are very knowledgeable about products, ingredients and the science behind it. You don't have to have a certain texture to really know your stuff.

I'm at least open to what my hair cousins have to say, whether they are more kinky or less kinky than me

Also... I'm speaking more about people who are already "hair enlightened"

We here at lhcf should "know better" imo

Some people outside hairboards are a lost cause. For whatever reason, they gave up on their hair. Hopefully more people will seek out this information!

 

[GoingNatural]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

naw. I don't have a bb and am too lazy to sign in on the comp all the time and post "eating triscuit crackers"

lol it's so much more than that. it's a blast. it works on any phone! boooo

 

[Soliel185]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

I understand that different hair types call for different measures.

But if you've been doing A for friggin ever and your hair is still dry as the Sahara desert, and someone says "Hey, why not try it this way? It works for me, and others, it may work for you too."

As long as it's nothing that could leave you bald I don't see what's so hard about trying something a little different.

Is your hair soft when it's damp - uh yeah
But it's hard when it's dry - uh huh
So why not wet it more often, and work on maintaining the softness?


How different is that from saying "Don't use that, it's for white people. You know Suave and Paul Mitchell, and Joico, and Redken, and Nexxus ain't for us!"

 

[Neith]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

I understand that different hair types call for different measures.

But if you've been doing A for friggin ever and your hair is still dry as the Sahara desert, and someone says "Hey, why not try it this way? It works for me, and others, it may work for you too."

As long as it's nothing that could leave you bald I don't see what's so hard about trying something a little different.

Is your hair soft when it's damp - uh yeah
But it's hard when it's dry - uh huh
So why not wet it more often, and work on maintaining the softness?


How different is that from saying "Don't use that, it's for white people. You know Suave and Paul Mitchell, and Joico, and Redken, and Nexxus ain't for us!"

Exactly

 

[Soliel185]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

Oh - and having the EXACT same hair type does not mean people will take your advise then either. How many times have people come back to board like:

"My mom and sister and them poo pooed all my hair techniques and said my hair was going to fall out but now that they see how good it's growing they're all up in my business asking for advice!"

 

[mariofmagdal]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

I recently gave advice to a new natural, she was so appreciative. She is the one who asked for advice, and our hair texture is different. I don't give advice unless asked.

 

[nappystorm]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

Personally, I only take advice from people who's hair texture is similar to mine.

When I was a permie, I took hair advice from friends who had 3A natural hair. Half my ish ended up on the floor.

 

[FluffyRed]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

I no longer take advice from a lot of women who *do* have my same hair type.

After being here and going through lots of trial and error, I can tell what might work for me. If something is already working, I'm not willing to add a new element to the mix.

e.g. - fine hair has certain protein/moisture needs
relaxed hair " " "
fine AND relaxed hair " "
combine that with super tangly coily naps, it's an added ball to juggle. Not trying any more new products. Just using up what I got and trying to go forward with as few as possible.

Before LHCF, I would have dismissed OP's advice... simple "hair-type-ism."

But then again, very few people have hair like mine, at least from what I see.

 

[remilaku]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

I say don't get fusterated about it. Just let their hair fall out and then they will start listening to you because your hair will be to your butt! Then they will be like, oh so she did know what she was talking about. It just wastes my time trying.


As for me myself, I listen to people who have longer hair than me. If it look good and well taken care of and it is longer than mine I try to listen. I figure they must be doing something right for it to be healthy and that long. Now I won't go do all of it at first. I will try some of the things that they say and SEE if it works for me and if it does, than its a keeper.

 

[ladylibra]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

Pretty much. Even if you have a son with 4a/4b hair as I do, people think you have no idea what you're talking about... even on hair boards.

Basically, I don't give out advice to people IRL if they don't ask for it. I have enough ish in my life as it is, I don't have time to get myself upset over other people being annoying and/or ignorant.

 

[nysister]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

I can definitely understand people that won't take others advice unless they have the same hair type. It's from previous experience though. I used to take everyone's advice, and nothing really worked, so than I decided to take no ones. (That didn't work either) Finally on my own I started co-washing and than I found this board, and by than I was will to try anything that made some sort of sense no matter who it came from (I didn't bother checking anyone's hair type) and have found some good ideas this way. So basically I can understand both sides of the coin, but I wouldn't worry myself about any of it.
People will do what they think is best or what they're used to. You can only share knowledge, if they're willing to hear it.

 

[Amerie123]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

I'm not acting "brand new".

You can learn something new from anyone.

While I do understand looking out for those with your hair type for specific info, I don't understand just ignoring what other people have to say (not saying that you do this).

We all have afro textured hair here. As much as people talk about how different the hair types are, we are basically doing the same dang things to our hair


I find it funny that people don't realize that.

My regimen (very coarse 4a hair):

Co washes
Hot Oil Treatments
Wash n' Gos
Twist outs

MANY type 3's do these things and use the same products on top of it. Just an example.


Again. Not saying there are NO differences at all.

We all have a wealth of knowledge and it'd be silly to not take advantage of it.


Other examples of things WIDELY used across the board regardless of texture:

Baking Soda Treatments
Coconut + Lime Treatment
MN, BT, MTG, Megatek
Kiyafizzle
Caramel Treatment
Co Washing
Frequent DCing
Sealing moisture with oil
Denman
Cherylola treatment
Miss Jessie's Curly Pudding
Steaming
BKT

Etc... I could go on and on.

And... We use very similar products across the board as well.

What if someone with 3a hair comes up with something new and amazing that works great or can be tweaked to work great on more kinky textures?

Then there are people who are very knowledgeable about products, ingredients and the science behind it. You don't have to have a certain texture to really know your stuff.

I'm at least open to what my hair cousins have to say, whether they are more kinky or less kinky than me

Also... I'm speaking more about people who are already "hair enlightened"

We here at lhcf should "know better" imo

Some people outside hairboards are a lost cause. For whatever reason, they gave up on their hair. Hopefully more people will seek out this information!

I was referring to people generally when i said people were acting "brand new". And again, as you mentioned, people on LHCF should know better as far as a lot of stuff works for all hair types, however half of the board just said in this thread alone that they don't accept info unless it's from one with a similar hair type, so what do you think people that are completely ignorant to hair care will do??

So, my point was that why was it so hard to understand. Whether it's right, wrong or indifferent, why is it so hard to understand that?

ETA: You also have to realize that out of all of that stuff you just mentioned, how many people that are not on LHCF, (which is the person OP was referring to), actually knows about that?

 

[tocktick]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

Imo, you will see the same kind of thing on this board: you see threads like "Type 4s get in here" and in general threads you will have people asking if Type X has had success doing blah blah blah. If I were you I wouldn't be too surprised that people aren't as quick to believe your advice will work for their more "coarse" hair.

Some people have more confidence about something when someone with the same kind of hair has had success with it first. I see on this board that many women (mainly type 4s, imo) aren't just content with seeing that black women can grow long hair, they feel more satisfied when she also has the same type. I think this is partially why people tend to pick hair idols who have the same hair type.

Where your friend differs from many on this board is that her hair is not in a good state yet she won't listen to any advice. Clearly, her old ideas about hair care are useless for her hair. However, maybe she's given up hope entirely. Imo, when someone has resigned themselves to thinking this way it doesn't even matter if you're their hair twin. They simply won't take advice and will create any trivial excuse as to why your hair is healthy and longer.

 

[KynniB]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

I wouldnt take advice from someone that had a different texture than me. That would be like me telling someone with 2a hair what do with their mane. It would be an oil slick by the time they were done listening to me. lol.

 

[Neith]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

I was referring to people generally when i said people were acting "brand new". And again, as you mentioned, people on LHCF should know better as far as a lot of stuff works for all hair types, however half of the board just said in this thread alone that they don't accept info unless it's from one with a similar hair type, so what do you think people that are completely ignorant to hair care will do??

So, my only point was that why was it so hard to understand. Whether it's right, wrong or indifferent, why is it so hard to understand that.

I didn't think you were calling specific people out.

I don't understand why someone would cut off a potential source of new/good information.

That was basically my point. I know I'm longwinded

Imo, there is no good reason to ignore other people's findings/theories/techniques.

Human beings are much smarter collectively than individually. Maybe something else someone says or does will make you realize something or try something that works for you. Even if thy have a different hairtype.

I'm not saying to switch regimens with anyone I'm just saying that there are things to be learned from people who are different from you.

I dunno. I just thought people were a bit more openminded here.

We use dominican products, indian products, brazillian keratin, and all kinds of things in our hair. Things from all over the globe. Why can't we share and listen to our own people the same way?

 

[sharifeh]

Re: RANT: Do I have to be Type 4 or Highly Textured for People IRL To Take My Advice?

My answer to OP's question is yes.
I have type 4 hair, (i think, I'm pretty sure that's what it is) but I'm mixed so people don't listen to me anyway. So they'll find any excuse.
But yes I agree that type 3s do have a way easier time retaining usually.
But it does seem like the OP was giving general advice not specific, so we should be able to take general advice from almost any type.