Opionions needed....

GodsPromises

GodsPromises

The Credit Countess
If a man tells you that he has been divorced for 10 years and hasn't dated once since than what would you think?

He says that he has been focus on raising his son who he has full custody of. He says now that he feels this is the right time to start dating and finding a serious relationship. It has been just him and his son who is 11 all this time.

As for the divorce, he walked in to find his ex wife and his best friend in bed.


I'm just looking for what would be the first though in your mind when he told you that.
 
my first thought would've been DAMN 10 years!!!! but then I would've eventually put common sense into action and realized that this is no different than a mother who chose to do the same thing.
 
That's what I was thinking but he keeps saying he hasn't seen nor talked to anyone in 10 years. That he has been focused on his son.
 
Yeh you said exactly my reaction and after thought. If we progress I would be the first woman his son has ever met.

Windsy said:
my first thought would've been DAMN 10 years!!!! but then I would've eventually put common sense into action and realized that this is no different than a mother who chose to do the same thing.
Click to expand...
 
Windsy said:
my first thought would've been DAMN 10 years!!!! but then I would've eventually put common sense into action and realized that this is no different than a mother who chose to do the same thing.
Click to expand...

:yep:

I know a few fathers who are totally focused on raising their kids and have no interest in seriously dating anyone.

But to co-sign on what danibeeja gyal said, that doesn't mean they're celibate. :lol:
 
GodsPromises said:
That's what I was thinking but he keeps saying he hasn't seen nor talked to anyone in 10 years. That he has been focused on his son.
Click to expand...

I think it's possible. Perhaps he also had trust issues that he needed to work with, you know? He also might have a lower sex drive than the average man. I've known men like that :yep:

As a result, I'd probably dig more and wouldn't cancel him out.
 
GodsPromises said:
That's what I was thinking but he keeps saying he hasn't seen nor talked to anyone in 10 years. That he has been focused on his son.
Click to expand...

I will say though that based on why his marriage ended, I wouldn't be surprised if part of it was also reluctance to let someone get close again. Finding out you're being cheated on is one thing, catching the person in the act is something else altogether. That could have been the catalyst to put all in energy into his son.
 
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Oh his definelty not cancelled out, not by a long shot not for this, I posted because I know there would be more views and thoughts then just want I would be thinking.

I was thinking about the trust issues also. It it went down like that I would prefer that he did wait and not rush until anything :grin:

nagawa said:
I think it's possible. Perhaps he also had trust issues that he needed to work with, you know? He also might have a lower sex drive than the average man. I've known men like that :yep:

As a result, I'd probably dig more and wouldn't cancel him out.
Click to expand...
 
GodsPromises said:
Oh his definelty not cancelled out, not by a long shot not for this, I posted because I know there would be more views and thoughts then just want I would be thinking.

I was thinking about the trust issues also. It it went down like that I would prefer that he did wait and not rush until anything :grin:
Click to expand...

No worries, I got you. He seems like he has his priorities straight so good luck!
 
It really doesn't matter all of that was before you. It may or may not be true, plus I agree, it doesn't mean he wasn't having sex.
 
I'd believe what he said. There are a lot of women and men who do take significant breaks between relationships for whatever reasons. Some may or may not be celibate. If he is now ready to seriously get back into the dating world and is interested in you, I say explore and see what he is really all about.
Good Luck!
 
Honeybrown thank you. He has not given me a reason not to believe him. I am just going to go with the flow and see what happens. He seems like a great guy that has his stuff in order so we shall see
 
I would think its sweet - I don't see the big deal...he got burned and wanted to raise his children and now they are grown he is ready to date again. no biggie...
 
I think that he has his priorities in order! He wanted to focus on his son (and more than likely get himself together emotionally) and now he's looking someone. I think he's being honest! :yep:
 
Windsy said:
my first thought would've been DAMN 10 years!!!! but then I would've eventually put common sense into action and realized that this is no different than a mother who chose to do the same thing.
Click to expand...

I must TOTALLY agree with this. I guess it's easier to believe that a person's lying than telling the truth. Like it's truth if I (or some women) do it but soon as a guy says it I'm like...:look: uh huh ummm yeah. :lachen:

Oh, and to OP...give him the benefit of the doubt! I think or used to think along the same lines but I'm breaking myself out of it. It's hard but hey I'm trying.
 
Sounds like nut.:spinning:. No interest in any woman in 10 years. I understand not wanting to bring just anyone around your son but..... C'mon. Was he sexually active with anyone? or was he waiting to possibly get back with his wife. Men are natural hunters.
 
Many men can't focus on too many things at once. Women have an easier time multi-tasking. Managing a home, a child, and a job is a lot for most men. And his son was so young at the time it must have been overwhelming for him. Under the circumstances I can see how and why this could be true. Good luck and keep us updated.
 
I know a guy like this, I've known him for well over 10 years. Before he had his daughter, he was all out there in the dating scene, but after he had her - he shut it all the way down, and ironically his fiance cheated on him before they could get to the alter. I wouldn't have believed it unless I saw it with my own eyes. He's just now seriously getting back into the dating game and his dd is 9 now.

He was an exception to the general rule, most guys wouldn't do this but some guys would. Maybe you've met a wonderful exception, which is always nice. Like seeing a rainbow on a sunny day, you always have to do a double take.
 
Well ladies thanks for your view point. From this point on this thread is just a disscussion thread. Me and him is a moot point.

More details:

I met him online so I am/was being very cautious. He's sorry was that he was a divorced dad living in Texas working for a construction company. He had been in Nigeria for a couple of months working on a job site. All sounded very good. He was suppose to be back in the states at the end of this month so he said. Well this morning he IMs me talking about he lost his wallet. We all know where this is going.... He needs my help. Can I send him $1750 so that he can finish the project. Bah bah bah. I told him no I can't. I am now believing that he is a scrammer from Nigeria thinking that he could get some poor stupid American woman to send him some money. Even if I had the money I wouldn't be sending it to a stranger. Oh well such is life!
 
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