JustifiablyMe
Well-Known Member
^^^You're absolutely right. 
***Online Dating Support Thread***
- Thread starter JollyGal
- Start date
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
well uh he's perfect for if i want some dack^^^Meh. I did the same last week (only bc I was tired of waiting for him to view my profile lol). Although the convo started off well, I realized I was the only one asking questions. And once I stopped, the convo stopped. And that's usually how it goes when I reach out first. I saw a cutie who viewed my profile but didn't say anything and I was tempted to email him and ask why he didn't say hi but after the last experience decided not to. Chalked it up to the game lol. But anywho, don't mind me and my Debbie Downer self.
so, no pressures here we had a friendly/flirty conversation, introduced ourselves, and im debating my next move. ***if it was a guy i wanted to date i wouldnt have messaged, but idc about that for this purpose hes really good looking. i dont wanna be all madonna/whore about it, but i kind of am.i dont view profiles anymore. i just view back. what usually happens is like three or four rounds of viewing each other and then i stop. they sometimes message, mostly dont.
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C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
well uh he's perfect for if i want some dack
i dont view profiles anymore. i just view back. what usually happens is like three or four rounds of viewing each other and then i stop. they sometimes message, mostly dont.
People are so weird
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
I used to use Google voice but I stopped because its glitchy. At also doesn't allow you to send pics. Smh
I give out my real number. Im simply selective about it.
aviddiva77
Well-Known Member
So I go from older black guy player line to just "hey." What?
I know y'all complain about this a lot so I'm gonna add one more complaint to it. Is it so daymn hard to SKIM (you don't even have to read it fully) someone's profile and come up with something better than "hey"?
For instance: hi. I see you like Earth Wind and Fire. September was my jam. What's your favorite from them? BOOM. Easy as hell. Men are so daymn lazy wasting my damn data logging into the app lmao.
I know y'all complain about this a lot so I'm gonna add one more complaint to it. Is it so daymn hard to SKIM (you don't even have to read it fully) someone's profile and come up with something better than "hey"?
For instance: hi. I see you like Earth Wind and Fire. September was my jam. What's your favorite from them? BOOM. Easy as hell. Men are so daymn lazy wasting my damn data logging into the app lmao.
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
update he wasnt as cute as i was thinking
not ugly at all, but i had to downgrade from "very attractive"
not ugly at all, but i had to downgrade from "very attractive"
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
I don't mind that. Some of my best conversations start with "hi".
Some men don't want to type a thoughtful introduction only for you to ignore their whole message. So, responding to their simple "hello" let's them know you are open to real conversation.
#stopnitpicking
aviddiva77
Well-Known Member
I understand all that but I still think it's lazy lol. Maybe my understanding about WHY people online date is skewed.
metro_qt
Well-Known Member
I mind it... And the men know if they want to talk to me...its 50 characters or more...
So they make sure they say something to introduce themselves....(it's set up in my mail settings)
I don't do random words either...full sentences.
metro_qt
Well-Known Member
<----- you wanna talk to some of this?? You're going to use your words or settle for just looking.
#nitpicker #quality #worthit
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
I wouldn't say it;s lazy only because online dating is draining in and of itself. It's one less thing I worry about personally.
I've only started to weigh what counts towards quality in a mate. Can he write well? Does he express himself well? These are important factors (to me). Does he reach out to me with a simple "hello" as opposed to hellomynameisjohnhowareyoumyfavoritebeverageiscoke. This is not, lol.
RoundEyedGirl504
Well-Known Member
Bored, checking out Tinder to see what I can see. So once you match do you send a message or nah? I am antiquated in the online dating world!
aviddiva77
Well-Known Member
Ah so this is more of a "what does QUALITY mean to me" type of thing. Quality to you @keyawarren means they're articulate and express themselves clearly whereas with @metro_qt it's not only what was mentioned but also quantity. So a how you say it and how MUCH you say. *nods* got it ladies.
But keyawarren. I truly do understand what you mean about it being draining especially since I'm an introvert and as a person who doesn't have a lot of spoons most days. But I guess in my mind, if I, dealing with those aspects of my personality am able to give some effort you can too.
@keyawarren sorry that "you" in my last sentence wasn't you. I was referring to men. Just wanted to make that clear lol.
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JustifiablyMe
Well-Known Member
Right; I prefer it. I hate when a guy writes me a long thought out tailored message but I'm not feeling him. Makes me feel guilty lol.
ArrrBeee
Well-Known Member
"Don't be intimidated I understand seeing a great man. Is as rare as seeing a solar eclipse or hitting the lottery! I mean merting a good man, great father, and very successful! I mean when i walk into a room mouths fall open because of my size so me taking all the attention would probsbly crush ur ego. Lord knows no one u r used to is built like me. With all the tryfulling game playing broke lil boys running around out here pretending to be a real man. Rif raf deals with rif raf. Rare to see a man that physically looks like me. I mean when i walk into a room m Has his own home. Great father. And the fact im financially secure only adds to the total package. So as I said. Don't be intimidated. Cause u won't see anything else like me. For every 100 of u there might be 1 of me. Good luck u will need !!! LoL."
Would someone actually respond to this nonsense?
MzSwift
Well-Known Member
When I was online dating, the first messages were not indicative of a man's character. Douches have no problem using that stupid PUA crap to start a convo. Also, some of the sweet men have been shot down or ignored after drafting a nice message and became discouraged from doing it.
I only replied to the one word messages if I was interested in what I read in his profile. I would reply with a greeting and a question. Often, the guy was so shocked that I actually replied. Then the other messages would be longer and more thought out. Most of those guys were IT professionals or other introverts. Quality men, just a little awkward in the beginning.
I met FH on OKC. I sent him the first message after putting in the search criteria for what I wanted. Nothing long - just a greeting, a sentence and a question I had from reading his profile. Two years later, we've got a wedding planned!
I had played that flirting game where you view/favorite each other with bad results and wasted time. I wanted to take more control in this process because I had gotten tired of the men who were messaging me.
This process is what you put into it. I wouldn't be lazy with my career and it didn't work for me to be lazy with my heart either. I was married for 15.5 years so I know a relationship is going to take some effort on my part, even from the beginning.
GL and Happy Hunting, ladies!
I only replied to the one word messages if I was interested in what I read in his profile. I would reply with a greeting and a question. Often, the guy was so shocked that I actually replied. Then the other messages would be longer and more thought out. Most of those guys were IT professionals or other introverts. Quality men, just a little awkward in the beginning.
I met FH on OKC. I sent him the first message after putting in the search criteria for what I wanted. Nothing long - just a greeting, a sentence and a question I had from reading his profile. Two years later, we've got a wedding planned!
I had played that flirting game where you view/favorite each other with bad results and wasted time. I wanted to take more control in this process because I had gotten tired of the men who were messaging me.
This process is what you put into it. I wouldn't be lazy with my career and it didn't work for me to be lazy with my heart either. I was married for 15.5 years so I know a relationship is going to take some effort on my part, even from the beginning.
GL and Happy Hunting, ladies!
aviddiva77
Well-Known Member
Ok that is TOO much. But yeah I can see a certain type of woman responding to that. One who likes a challenge or maybe wants to bring his ego down to normal size.
"Don't be intimidated I understand seeing a great man. Is as rare as seeing a solar eclipse or hitting the lottery! I mean merting a good man, great father, and very successful! I mean when i walk into a room mouths fall open because of my size so me taking all the attention would probsbly crush ur ego. Lord knows no one u r used to is built like me. With all the tryfulling game playing broke lil boys running around out here pretending to be a real man. Rif raf deals with rif raf. Rare to see a man that physically looks like me. I mean when i walk into a room m Has his own home. Great father. And the fact im financially secure only adds to the total package. So as I said. Don't be intimidated. Cause u won't see anything else like me. For every 100 of u there might be 1 of me. Good luck u will need !!! LoL."
Would someone actually respond to this nonsense?
aviddiva77
Well-Known Member
When I initiate that's what I usually do as well. That PUA crap never really worked with me otherwise I would have lost my virginity long ago lol.
Oasis
grabbing life by the pussy
i have never responded to a one word message. a dude would have to look like jesse williams or lance gross for me to even consider it. i couldn't care less about a guy not wanting to waste time. if you want a response from me you need to at least pretend you find me interesting.
aviddiva77
Well-Known Member
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
this advice is highly individualized and I wont follow it nor agree with it but im glad it worked out for YOU.When I was online dating, the first messages were not indicative of a man's character. Douches have no problem using that stupid PUA crap to start a convo. Also, some of the sweet men have been shot down or ignored after drafting a nice message and became discouraged from doing it.
I only replied to the one word messages if I was interested in what I read in his profile. I would reply with a greeting and a question. Often, the guy was so shocked that I actually replied. Then the other messages would be longer and more thought out. Most of those guys were IT professionals or other introverts. Quality men, just a little awkward in the beginning.
I met FH on OKC. I sent him the first message after putting in the search criteria for what I wanted. Nothing long - just a greeting, a sentence and a question I had from reading his profile. Two years later, we've got a wedding planned!
I had played that flirting game where you view/favorite each other with bad results and wasted time. I wanted to take more control in this process because I had gotten tired of the men who were messaging me.
This process is what you put into it. I wouldn't be lazy with my career and it didn't work for me to be lazy with my heart either. I was married for 15.5 years so I know a relationship is going to take some effort on my part, even from the beginning.
GL and Happy Hunting, ladies!
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
what?
what options does that leave? 
MzSwift
Well-Known Member
Thought that was a given...
LoveLiLi
Well-Known Member
"Don't be intimidated I understand seeing a great man. Is as rare as seeing a solar eclipse or hitting the lottery! I mean merting a good man, great father, and very successful! I mean when i walk into a room mouths fall open because of my size so me taking all the attention would probsbly crush ur ego. Lord knows no one u r used to is built like me. With all the tryfulling game playing broke lil boys running around out here pretending to be a real man. Rif raf deals with rif raf. Rare to see a man that physically looks like me. I mean when i walk into a room m Has his own home. Great father. And the fact im financially secure only adds to the total package. So as I said. Don't be intimidated. Cause u won't see anything else like me. For every 100 of u there might be 1 of me. Good luck u will need !!! LoL."
Would someone actually respond to this nonsense?
This man sounds like a headache. The way he spelled trifling (tryfulling
) is reason enough to block him.I've only encountered one man who felt the need to go on about how great he was. He had a penis the size of a thumb so I guess he had to exaggerate his other qualities.
msbettyboop
Well-Known Member
Got back into online dating again in the last few weeks and lorddddddddd...smh
I don't know whether to laugh or cry at some of these messages.... Lolllll
I don't know whether to laugh or cry at some of these messages.... Lolllll
aviddiva77
Well-Known Member
"I've been waiting on you to get home so I could message you."
but for why? We've literally have had small talk for the past DAY I have talked to you. Nothing special so why are you waiting around for me to get off work? I get that you think I'm sooo beautiful but my red flag warning is going off. I dunno. We'll see.
but for why? We've literally have had small talk for the past DAY I have talked to you. Nothing special so why are you waiting around for me to get off work? I get that you think I'm sooo beautiful but my red flag warning is going off. I dunno. We'll see.aviddiva77
Well-Known Member
You mean cry from laughter?
