***Online Dating Support Thread***

got a good message from a guy i might like. we message back and forth a couple times, cool. then he sends this ultra long response during which

- i feel like he alluded to having not gone to college
- i started to think he didnt go to college because what he was saying was inarticulate and unfocused and im like damn you wrote this long ass response tho
- he describes himself as a serial monogamist and i think i decided some time ago not to date those types because you end up taking a relationship seriously only because he has a need to be in serious relationships and not because its a good match that you even know if you WANT to go anywhere

not having gone to college tends to be a dealbreaker for me but i have gone out with guys i liked who didnt go to college. but normally it doesnt bother me or like is something i really notice, when talking to them and whatnot. in general i have a tendency to disengage if i dont like the way someone thinks when its colored by not being well educated. his profile does say "attended university" but it used to indicate whether you graduated or not and now the way the site is set up it doesnt anymore.

i dont know if thats legitimate for me anymore, so its an issue thats gonna have to go back to committee.
 
MzLady78 said:
What's "negging"?
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I totally forgot to come back with my stories, lol.

My friend was at work one day and stepped out to smoke a ciggie. So this pimp rolls up (she wasn't far from Times Square) to chat with her. So he's talkin' 'bout how he's a business man, blah blah blah and proceeds to tell her about his stable. He goes and says "you aiight looking, I do have a few girls who are cuter than you". Of course she laughed in his face and went back to work.

I was with another friend once when this guy tried to holla. After chatting a little while he goes "you have a nice body, you just need to lose that stomach, then you'll be tight". She told him to lose her number.
 
CaraWalker said:
got a good message from a guy i might like. we message back and forth a couple times, cool. then he sends this ultra long response during which

- i feel like he alluded to having not gone to college
- i started to think he didnt go to college because what he was saying was inarticulate and unfocused and im like damn you wrote this long ass response tho
- he describes himself as a serial monogamist and i think i decided some time ago not to date those types because you end up taking a relationship seriously only because he has a need to be in serious relationships and not because its a good match that you even know if you WANT to go anywhere

not having gone to college tends to be a dealbreaker for me but i have gone out with guys i liked who didnt go to college. but normally it doesnt bother me or like is something i really notice, when talking to them and whatnot. in general i have a tendency to disengage if i dont like the way someone thinks when its colored by not being well educated. his profile does say "attended university" but it used to indicate whether you graduated or not and now the way the site is set up it doesnt anymore.

i dont know if thats legitimate for me anymore, so its an issue thats gonna have to go back to committee.
Click to expand...

:lol:

Yeah, I have a few motions on the committee floor now.
 
vNZMYlj.png


i prolly just feel like being a ***** today tbh
aviddiva77 said:
Has anyone heard of the app Coffee Meets Bagel?
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yeah. seems like a weird concept to me.
 
gimbap said:
I was on the app for like 15 min before I got off. I don't completely understand the concept tbh
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From what I can tell it's supposedly a Tinder like app (never been on tinder though) but for more serious daters (whatever that terms means). They give you a daily bagel/guy. You say you like them or you pass. If theu like you too then you get the option to chat with them. If not you're given "bonus bagels" to choose from. There's other stuff I don't get either but I think thats the gist.

I have to say I have never seen so many Southeast Asians in my life. That is literally who I keep getting matched with.

Oh yeah. And they let you know if someone liked you. They don't tell you who though.
 
aviddiva77 said:
Potay-to pah-tato lol. You didn't say anythong wrong. He just took it the wrong way.
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I be wanting to say that every time (sometimes im using the site when I receive a message so I see them visit me for two seconds and immediately send a message) that **** just burns me up. naw ion wanna talk to your stupid ass dont say hello or good morning to me we arent passing each other at a bus stop online dating dont work with that stupid ****

e: I think it takes a stupid brain to think you could use hello and hope to start a conversation when online dating is built around the idea of functioning bc of the ability to prepare multiple sources of information to foster conversation.
 
aviddiva77 said:
Is this the same dude that messaged you for brunch?! Cara trying to get her haram back. I ain't mad at ya.
tumblr_mmcufpK6pk1r2ehayo2_400.gif
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mayn... i think he used a fake pic. its weird bc idk who else the pic could be of like where did you find a pic of some random dude who kind of resembles you? but the dude in the photo is kind of making a face and wasnt wearing glasses, so its impossible to tell.

but yeah. what i got was not what the pic led me to believe :look:
 
its always the most boring dudes who write theyre "living life to the fullest" :rolleyes:

self summary: just ask me!

pictures: me and my brother at disneyland :lol:
 
Am I being unreasonable?
We met online and have been talking by phone for nearly 3 wks. I would have suggested we meet in person after 2 wks but he left the country on vacation. We have undeniable chemistry on the phone. We talk and text one another morning, noon and night. As our meeting day is approaching, he demands full body pics over and over (my posted pics are waist up). I give all kinds of excuses not to...my real reason is because I don't like to send pics to people I've never met. I describe my body type to him over and over. He is not sure whether he believes me. He shares his past experiences with me of ladies online who were misleading and when he saw them in person, he was shocked and disappointed. He continues to bug me for full body shots. I finally say, 'No, wait till our meeting day.' I am now, starting to lose interest in him. Finally, our day arrives. He is not inside the waiting area as he texted. I text him, 'where are you?'. He appears at the entrance. Apparently, he was planning to ditch me if I wasn't as I described myself. As we are eating, he tells me how he ditched two women who did not appear as they did in their photos. In one case, he never appeared, he saw her from a distance, then left without saying a word. I asked him if I was as I described, he agreed and I was convinced that he was quite pleased. So we eat our meal and start discussing going to the movies directly afterward. We walk and get in his car to talk and decide the movie we would like to see. He then tells me to drive my own car (follow him) to the theatre. So he won't have to drop me back off to my car. The theatre is 5 mins away and traffic is not bad at all. I suggest I ride with him, we go back and forth and finally I decide to drive my own car, so we don't miss the movie. I am not happy. The next day I explain to him what I expect from a gentleman and pretty much end it. I also surmised from his stories about the other women that he ditched, that he may have a mean, vindictive streak. I thought the ditching was quite rude.... And that could have been my fate. Please weigh in...
 
GetHappy2014 said:
Am I being unreasonable?
We met online and have been talking by phone for nearly 3 wks. I would have suggested we meet in person after 2 wks but he left the country on vacation. We have undeniable chemistry on the phone. We talk and text one another morning, noon and night. As our meeting day is approaching, he demands full body pics over and over (my posted pics are waist up). I give all kinds of excuses not to...my real reason is because I don't like to send pics to people I've never met. I describe my body type to him over and over. He is not sure whether he believes me. He shares his past experiences with me of ladies online who were misleading and when he saw them in person, he was shocked and disappointed. He continues to bug me for full body shots. I finally say, 'No, wait till our meeting day.' I am now, starting to lose interest in him. Finally, our day arrives. He is not inside the waiting area as he texted. I text him, 'where are you?'. He appears at the entrance. Apparently, he was planning to ditch me if I wasn't as I described myself. As we are eating, he tells me how he ditched two women who did not appear as they did in their photos. In one case, he never appeared, he saw her from a distance, then left without saying a word. I asked him if I was as I described, he agreed and I was convinced that he was quite pleased. So we eat our meal and start discussing going to the movies directly afterward. We walk and get in his car to talk and decide the movie we would like to see. He then tells me to drive my own car (follow him) to the theatre. So he won't have to drop me back off to my car. The theatre is 5 mins away and traffic is not bad at all. I suggest I ride with him, we go back and forth and finally I decide to drive my own car, so we don't miss the movie. I am not happy. The next day I explain to him what I expect from a gentleman and pretty much end it. I also surmised from his stories about the other women that he ditched, that he may have a mean, vindictive streak. I thought the ditching was quite rude.... And that could have been my fate. Please weigh in...
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She says that she doesn't like to send people pics of herself. So she only sends pics with her legs cropped out, but not her face? (??)

When a guy tells me he has been catfished I make it easy. If he asks for a full body photo he'll get one. But I will ask for one as well, cus I ain't no punk. :lol:

The dude in the OP sounds like he was burned more than once and was just being extra. Smh.
 
^^No... Lol... I don't crop out the legs I just don't send additional photos. That is why I always suggest we meet in person within the first couple of weeks if we feel a mutual connection. I feel... I don't care how many pics a dude sends me or posts... My heart ain't moving forward until I see him in the flesh. By the way, dude sent a full body nude shot.. He covered his junk.. I ain't mad at him. :pepper:
 
GetHappy2014 said:
^^No... Lol... I don't crop out the legs I just don't send additional photos. That is why I always suggest we meet in person within the first couple of weeks if we feel a mutual connection. I feel... I don't care how many pics a dude sends me or posts... My heart ain't moving forward until I see him in the flesh. By the way, dude sent a full body nude shot.. He covered his junk.. I ain't mad at him. :pepper:
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I just realized your post was about you and not a 3rd party. Smh.

What I meant was you are comfortable giving someone your pic from the waist up but not the feet up? I'm not understanding the difference.
I agree. I have 8 pics in my profile, there is no need for me to send you 3 more pics before we meet. Sometimes I oblige depending on the vibe.

ok, the full body nude...was this before or after the date? What's going on here? Lol...
 
I haaaate taking pictures... So I took one (picked one) exclusively for the site. It would have been a lot for me to take another photo esp. full body. I am just too picky maybe one day. It is not my size that's an issue ... I am a size 4 (sometimes 2). I just hate taking pics. He sent me his partial nudy before the date. I didn't ask for it. He is in excellent shape. But that was his choice, to send it. He feels he takes care of his body and wants someone in rather good shape...I'd say I fit that bill.. esp. Since I've been visiting our very own LHCF body building forum :-) I also must add... I do get a little annoyed when they ask for a full body... I always wonder if they are being perverted.
 
GetHappy2014 said:
I haaaate taking pictures... So I took one (picked one) exclusively for the site. It would have been a lot for me to take another photo esp. full body. I am just too picky maybe one day. It is not my size that's an issue ... I am a size 4 (sometimes 2). I just hate taking pics. He sent me his partial nudy before the date. I didn't ask for it. He is in excellent shape. But that was his choice, to send it. He feels he takes care of his body and wants someone in rather good shape...I'd say I fit that bill.. esp. Since I've been visiting our very own LHCF body building forum :) I also must add... I do get a little annoyed when they ask for a full body... I always wonder if they are being perverted.
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Ah, I see.

I hate taking pics, so I hold on to the ones I have. Or if I come across a photo opportunity when I'm out, I'll jump into people's pics so I don't have to be bothered with taking them myself. Yes, I have a whole system. However, when I started online dating about 2 years back, I had to take a few photos myself just to get started. It just is what it is.
 
CaraWalker said:
dude is really tripping to be doing all of that like a size four is going to show up as a size 14. dude was a straight up nut and you need to hone your dismissal criteria if you still dont think so.
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Red flags all up and through that story, goodness gracious. :nono:

There's nothing wrong with wanting someone in shape, especially if it's a priority in your life, but you don't have be a dick about about it either. Looking from a distance and standing someone up if they don't meet your approval is foul and immature AF. He's probably a nightmare in a relationship.
 
like im sure she told him she was a size 4 and im sure there is really no way for someone that size to look much bigger in photos, how much larger could he really have been reasonably worried about her being? he was literally being real life scared and worried that her pics were totally fake, that is really not normal (and in my experience is usually ugly dudes that are suspicious anyone normal looking wants to talk to them). girl please never talk to anyone this foolish again in your life i can tell just by this story you are selling yourself way short.

skinny women are in extreme demand right now, and if you are interacting with dudes that are acting like this you either live somewhere like california or you chose poorly. i have a very fit friend who is always complaining about how hard it is to find thin women, part of it is where we live though (midwest, where most people are "average.")
 
Exactly grade a assh3le
He sounds like a straight up jerk ugh
I see why he is single


MzLady78 said:
Red flags all up and through that story, goodness gracious. :nono:

There's nothing wrong with wanting someone in shape, especially if it's a priority in your life, but you don't have be a dick about about it either. Looking from a distance and standing someone up if they don't meet your approval is foul and immature AF. He's probably a nightmare in a relationship.
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