***Online Dating Support Thread***

ok my okcupid is popping right now for some reason (its the shortest profile ive ever posted and only have one picture up, though my instagram is linked) so im going to schedule dates with everyone that asks. have already been asked out by one guy
 
ohhhh dear

a message from a guy that makes me feel like that and make this post :drunk:

and picking my hopes up

and pulling them back down

and putting them in a box

because i cant afford any disappointment :lol:
 
sigh. i guess im doing the online dating thing again.

only this time, im over it. especially since i prefer to meet men in real life now. so online dating is just a backup and i dont care how productive it is. which is why i changed my profile to a very clear "dont message me unless you might want to marry me" sort of text dump.

i thought for sure it was going to bring my messages to a dead halt but a.) actually the opposite, i have gotten like 10 messages in the day since and b.) it has made almost no impact at all. literally. it turns out you can say anything on your profile and guys will react to it the same way :lachen: i may as well have not changed it at all. either a.) theyre not reading it at all anyway (which is definitely the case a lot of the time since several of the messages i received seemed to have triggered a "long profile, better send the thoughtful copy paste!" response) or b.) youre going to get the same messages no matter what anyway, and specific text (of the same caliber; ie same good text on differing subjects = same good quality men, same bad text on differing subjects = same shitty men) only marginally changes the luck of the draw.

anyway.

i got asked out for next week. i think he might be balding, but as someone who now feels that there is a real, serious, and legitimate chance that she may not end up married, i think the time has come for me to finally start considering those id kick to the curb for nothing :lol:
 
I'm currently talking to a new guy from okc. Can't complain so far. We have only been speaking on the phone for almost 2 weeks. He already asked me to be his date for new years. We both just gotten out of long-term relationships in which our breakups were very similar. I'll report back to give y'all some more post counts in this thread lol
 
frogkisses said:
:look:
Can I have more details lol?
How long were you on OKC?
What was your first date?
Click to expand...

lol Sure. I was only on Okc for a couple weeks. We were chatting for a couple days online, then started talking on the phone for a couple weeks. I hadn't dated in a while. First date was to the beach and a restaurant. Knew it was love after about a month. Things are serious now. I'm very happy.
 
heads up

HiZruV3.png


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16371064580620625068.webp
 
Dposh167 said:
I'm currently talking to a new guy from okc. Can't complain so far. We have only been speaking on the phone for almost 2 weeks. He already asked me to be his date for new years. We both just gotten out of long-term relationships in which our breakups were very similar. I'll report back to give y'all some more post counts in this thread lol
Click to expand...

Well I had my date with okc guy this past weekend. It was fantastic. We went Dave and busters. Drank..ate..and played games. We talked for hours which is just an extension of our phone convos anyway. He is so much more attractive in person. I think he just takes okay photos..but they do him no justice.

He told me I was his first date since his breakup. And he was mine. He was very cautious since he knows mine was just recently and it was 6 years so. He walked me back to grand central to catch my train. He actually escorted me to my train and seat lol. We kissed. Went home. And talked for another 2 hours on the phone. Craazzy
 
Dposh167 said:
Well I had my date with okc guy this past weekend. It was fantastic. We went Dave and busters. Drank..ate..and played games. We talked for hours which is just an extension of our phone convos anyway. He is so much more attractive in person. I think he just takes okay photos..but they do him no justice.

He told me I was his first date since his breakup. And he was mine. He was very cautious since he knows mine was just recently and it was 6 years so. He walked me back to grand central to catch my train. He actually escorted me to my train and seat lol. We kissed. Went home. And talked for another 2 hours on the phone. Craazzy
Click to expand...

Dope :drunk:
 
Dposh167 said:
Well I had my date with okc guy this past weekend. It was fantastic. We went Dave and busters. Drank..ate..and played games. We talked for hours which is just an extension of our phone convos anyway. He is so much more attractive in person. I think he just takes okay photos..but they do him no justice.

He told me I was his first date since his breakup. And he was mine. He was very cautious since he knows mine was just recently and it was 6 years so. He walked me back to grand central to catch my train. He actually escorted me to my train and seat lol. We kissed. Went home. And talked for another 2 hours on the phone. Craazzy
Click to expand...
That sounds awesome :)
 
CaraWalker said:
regardless of what he looked like would you reply to this message

yxefJVo.png
Click to expand...

Yep.

It was thoughtful. He also sounds "bright" (now I know what my teachers meant by that :lachen:)

I notice that in the responses you post, men tend to say that your profile is intriguing. Why do you think that is?
 
keyawarren said:
Yep.

It was thoughtful. He also sounds "bright" (now I know what my teachers meant by that :lachen:)

I notice that in the responses you post, men tend to say that your profile is intriguing. Why do you think that is?
Click to expand...
i write bomb profiles. and im an intriguing individual :lol:

that and have you ever scanned through female profiles? *****es sound braindead and boring as ****. most chicks profiles hit on the same points from the same angles and write with the same goals in mind. my profiles arent like that, not just so i can be "different" but because thats not what i have to say. i think they use the word intriguing because they literally have actually read my profile and are impressed that it kept their attention (my profiles tend to be lengthy). i write though, writing is a thing i do, so i couldnt really write anything without keeping in mind that it has to capture and keep someone's attention.

the average chick's profile is like "i work at the thing and i enjoy doing the thing in my downtime. im fun and exciting and cheerful and pleasant. im flirty and coy and i want a guy who is this! they self consciously ramble about their interests and heavy-handedly try to flirt in a broad, appealing manner. the way most women try to make themselves desirable is incredibly generic. talk about work. talk about hobbies. talk about why you desperately want a boyfriend while trying not to sound desperate.

my profile is either like "here are some random things that i think which convey that i am funny and witty" or "im so over this **** LOL" or "here are a bunch of things we are all avoiding saying."

right now my profile is basically like "yeah, ive given up on the idea that online dating will work, but just in case you're interesting, here's what you'd get if you dated me."
 
Last edited:
Today is National Online Dating day When people signup for dating sites the first Sunday after the new year. Give it a try

I signed back up with Pof after being gone for two years. Now I have two dates scheduled this week. :) Sadly Eharmony wasn't for me and my subscription ends Wednesday. Thinking about going signing up with OkCupid if need be.
 
CaraWalker said:
regardless of what he looked like would you reply to this message

yxefJVo.png
Click to expand...
No 5 words in I'm over it. Won't even read the rest.


Ooh yall I have a question. OK so I've been on pof for like a month inconsistently because it showed me what I already knew the black pool of dudes around me are quite abysmal so I did a search farther away or whatever. should I just message hey to guys Im interested in since I saw them first?lol I'm so awkward I don't know what to do.
 
do you think its racist to talk to indian dudes about marriage?

and yeah i know im the captain of Black Women Against Indian Men :lol: but this dude is a chunk of 6'2 beauty and i want a piece of that. but i have noticed when i end up with conversation with indian men i sort of aggressively bring up the subject of arranged marriage :lol: does that sound actually racist? like people coming up to you and talking to you about soul food or something. i want to bring up just so they know im onto them :lol: i know you just want to **** me for awhile before returning to your preordained indian wife :look:
 
Profile says "I have a dog so you must love or at least like dogs." Guy messages me. We exchange numbers. Great convo. One day he asks what I'm doing. I happen to be walking my dog and that's what I tell him. He goes on a tangent about how he hates dogs, how he's been bitten several times, etc., etc... Sir, you clearly didn't read my profile. NEXT.
 
Dposh167 said:
Well I had my date with okc guy this past weekend. It was fantastic. We went Dave and busters. Drank..ate..and played games. We talked for hours which is just an extension of our phone convos anyway. He is so much more attractive in person. I think he just takes okay photos..but they do him no justice.

He told me I was his first date since his breakup. And he was mine. He was very cautious since he knows mine was just recently and it was 6 years so. He walked me back to grand central to catch my train. He actually escorted me to my train and seat lol. We kissed. Went home. And talked for another 2 hours on the phone. Craazzy
Click to expand...

Still talking to this okc guy. We are going out again this Sat or Sunday to a Spanish restaurant. This will be our 3rd date. Our last date was spent with some of his friends for a new years party. It was kinda boring cuz I didn't know anyone and kinda awkward cuz they knew me as the girl he met online. But whatever. I clicked with one of their gfriends. He just really wanted me to be his date. But between u and I....I probably could 've stayed home.
 
CaraWalker said:
do you think its racist to talk to indian dudes about marriage?

and yeah i know im the captain of Black Women Against Indian Men :lol: but this dude is a chunk of 6'2 beauty and i want a piece of that. but i have noticed when i end up with conversation with indian men i sort of aggressively bring up the subject of arranged marriage :lol: does that sound actually racist? like people coming up to you and talking to you about soul food or something. i want to bring up just so they know im onto them :lol: i know you just want to **** me for awhile before returning to your preordained indian wife :look:
Click to expand...

It's online dating, I don't think that it is wrong to ask, esp if marriage is your ultimate goal. Maybe you can just ask what he is looking for (i.e. casual dating or marriage) and then lead up to the arranged marriage question.

I'm curious what his response will be.
 
I forgot that I have a month left on my Eharmony membership. I abandoned it last year after a bunch of duds. We'll see what happens.
 
I wish I could post this without swinging a sword.

Have you all ever had a date, that made you go back and look at the pictures :brainfog:to see if this was a "bait and switch"?

I had a lunch date recently, it had been rescheduled 2x. I agreed to the 3rd offer because I was going to be on that side of town anyway. We've corresponded several times since October and always had brief and polite conversations so I figured ....what the heck.

His online pictures were mainly closeup headshots, and he's wearing a suit. One picture is grainy and appears more than 10 years old...[now that I look back]. I selected the restaurant and arrived a little early so I went ahead and grabbed a booth. When he arrived I restrained myself from immediately revisiting his profile to compare him to the photo's. :eek: He looked different from his photo's, and in an he's-not-that-photogenic kind of way. BTW Marlow's Tavern is dimly lit.

And to boot, he LITERALLY , had to squeeze himself into the booth, "S-Q-U-E-E-Z-E". :blush2:I immediately asked him if we should get a table and he declined. He looked uncomfortable for the entire 1.5 hours we were there.

Because he is a nice guy, I remained, doesn't quite have a butt-his-face; and I am a bit of a chubby chaser but DAMN SON..... I assume that he has a medical issue for the weight; I'm a compassionate person but .....[I can't with the weight, which I guess explains the odd camera angled pic's in his profile....

Unfortunately for him, I am not willing to put any effort into unraveling any tomfoolery regarding profiles, profile pics, waddeling, and the like. Especially when this individual stayed requesting photo's of me...which I declined......again DAMN SoN!!!! No Bueno...:stop:
 
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