***Online Dating Support Thread***

Is there a poll on here with the most successful dating site? I would hear that the one's that cost have better men, but I just got f'ed by a guy from Zoosk. No Bueno. Eharmony no luck. After what happened with that guy from Zoosk I decided to close my Okc profile
 
I've just started back online dating and this is my first time actually in my forum. I'm really tired of online dating again and it's only been a month. Met a really nice guy who I was attracted to, he told me he wanted to be a couple on the second date. I, like a dummy, told him I wanted to take it a little slower. and he took that as a stop and stopped talking to me. Since then, it's been lame guy after lame guy. Le sigh....I hate dating.
 
chocolat79 said:
I've just started back online dating and this is my first time actually in my forum. I'm really tired of online dating again and it's only been a month. Met a really nice guy who I was attracted to, he told me he wanted to be a couple on the second date. I, like a dummy, told him I wanted to take it a little slower. and he took that as a stop and stopped talking to me. Since then, it's been lame guy after lame guy. Le sigh....I hate dating.
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girl we r in the same boat. i just reopenedmy account a few days ago. le sighhh
 
Saw this on a wahm board. I'm like ....WOW! smh


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i just got a message from a good looking tenderoni that looks very flush judging by all of the clothes and everything in the photos. so naturally i got suspicious. why are you messaging me if you are that good looking and that effortlessly filthy? so i googled the username and got the twitter and instagram. hes not a catfish. hes a real person.

but he also appears to have just graduated high school :rofl:

but you know what, that's not really much of a problem for me... :look: :rofl:
 
chocolat79 said:
I've just started back online dating and this is my first time actually in my forum. I'm really tired of online dating again and it's only been a month. Met a really nice guy who I was attracted to, he told me he wanted to be a couple on the second date. I, like a dummy, told him I wanted to take it a little slower. and he took that as a stop and stopped talking to me. Since then, it's been lame guy after lame guy. Le sigh....I hate dating.
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I don't think you did anything wrong. Being a couple after one and a half dates is a little fast esp since you are still trying to get to know him.

Guys online are strange. I had one stop speaking to me because he asked for a pic and I said no bc my page had 3 lol. I closed my okc, maybe in the future I'll try eharmony. My former coworker met his wife on there and they just had a cute little baby girl.
 
jKdBrmI.jpg


gone get yall some!
 
Do you respond to people whose pics you don't find attractive? Decent profile and stats listed, but pics may not be your type? Do you waste your time?
 
Lately I've been finding it hard to move connections offline. I'm not sure if it's because I've kinda checked out already (decided to delete my profile on Sunday) but it's like the conversation becomes stagnant and I do nothing to revive it lol. At some point they stop asking questions as do I and then...nothing. I figure if they're not going to ask for my number they must not be that interested and I'm not going to volunteer it. Oh well. :sleep:
 
I recently met a nice guy. He was really wonderful and had potential to a point. Seems things would be ok if I'd just do every-t-h-i-n-g his way and on his terms.... Mr Nice-NastyEgo shows up if not.

Problem is he's used to dating/marrying women 10 years younger than him. (I guess they look up to him)
I'm 6 years younger than him and have WAY more lived experiences than him.

He's stuck in his ways, and likes to compartmentalize everything.
To a point I am too, and lately he's had difficulty fitting me into his preconceived box

I'm noticing his need to be in CONTROL of things he doesn't or shouldn't have control of.
I don't do controlling ego's; ....I will injure them in a blink of an eye (often with little aforethought)

I'm fiercely independent, he's making demands, but not providing any-thing to justify me changing my independent ways.
Right now I'm not speaking to him because I don't want to unleash a verbal blood bath!!! (I've been dealing with some family issues over the past few months, and he's feeling neglected, severely neglected....SB even stated that I've been acting "flakey" lately....)

Dude don't realize that he's not been "in place" long enough to stress me over bull$heet, or for me to allow him to cause me a-n-y emotional turmoil.

.....I needed to vent. I'm back to browsing profiles and pics. ...... I need the entertainment.
 
Ivonnovi said:
I recently met a nice guy. He was really wonderful and had potential to a point. Seems things would be ok if I'd just do every-t-h-i-n-g his way and on his terms.... Mr Nice-NastyEgo shows up if not.

Problem is he's used to dating/marrying women 10 years younger than him. (I guess they look up to him)
I'm 6 years younger than him and have WAY more lived experiences than him.

He's stuck in his ways, and likes to compartmentalize everything.
To a point I am too, and lately he's had difficulty fitting me into his preconceived box

I'm noticing his need to be in CONTROL of things he doesn't or shouldn't have control of.
I don't do controlling ego's; ....I will injure them in a blink of an eye (often with little aforethought)

I'm fiercely independent, he's making demands, but not providing any-thing to justify me changing my independent ways.
Right now I'm not speaking to him because I don't want to unleash a verbal blood bath!!! (I've been dealing with some family issues over the past few months, and he's feeling neglected, severely neglected....SB even stated that I've been acting "flakey" lately....)

Dude don't realize that he's not been "in place" long enough to stress me over bull$heet, or for me to allow him to cause me a-n-y emotional turmoil.

.....I needed to vent. I'm back to browsing profiles and pics. ...... I need the entertainment.
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Nope. He doesn't sound like a genuinely nice guy to me. Manipulative and controlling. He fits the traits of someone abusive to a "T". I bet he's real sweet, ain't he? Dating younger women makes it a lot easier for him to get over on.

Ask me how I know :nono:

Your instincts are definitely picking up on the red flags though.
 
keyawarren said:
Nope. He doesn't sound like a genuinely nice guy to me. Manipulative and controlling. He fits the traits of someone abusive to a "T". I bet he's real sweet, ain't he? Dating younger women makes it a lot easier for him to get over on.

Ask me how I know :nono:

Your instincts are definitely picking up on the red flags though.
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Whomp, whomp!!!!

You are so very right!!!! He tried a classic controlling/manipulating move this weekend; I countered with an I'm not here for it move today. His response shows he's all (totally) caught up in his feelings, and well let's just say it's over.

Longer story
  • I called him on Thursday evening, to "speak" to him versus communicating through emails and texts. After a brief convo he stated that we could talk more the next night; I agreed.
  • Ninja texts me Friday at 9:21pm asking if I'm available for a call. Followed up by calling 30 minutes later.
  • I did not respond on Friday night, nor did I respond on Saturday. I did send him a text today (Sunday) as I was en route home from church to see if he'd be available to meet and talk in person.
  • Several hours later he responded with a vile text about me being secretive and having unresolved issues, blah blah, blah.
Boy Bye!!!! This Ninja would like me to be at his beck and call as if I don't have a life or my own household to manage. ...and he ain't paying no bill$!!!
The actual root of the tension is manageable were we in a healthy relationship; but we are not. It's all his way or the highway; and as they say in the Military this ninja "don't have enough time in grade" to be giving me this much headache.
This strain started because I chose to spend time (a Saturday evening) with a family member visiting from overseas (& here for surgery) and I did not let him know earlier that day; THOUGH I'd not agreed to spend the evening with him either, though he'd felt entitled to that time; but that's another story.
​
 
Ivonnovi said:
Whomp, whomp!!!!

You are so very right!!!! He tried a classic controlling/manipulating move this weekend; I countered with an I'm not here for it move today. His response shows he's all (totally) caught up in his feelings, and well let's just say it's over.

Longer story
  • I called him on Thursday evening, to "speak" to him versus communicating through emails and texts. After a brief convo he stated that we could talk more the next night; I agreed.
  • Ninja texts me Friday at 9:21pm asking if I'm available for a call. Followed up by calling 30 minutes later.
  • I did not respond on Friday night, nor did I respond on Saturday. I did send him a text today (Sunday) as I was en route home from church to see if he'd be available to meet and talk in person.
  • Several hours later he responded with a vile text about me being secretive and having unresolved issues, blah blah, blah.
Boy Bye!!!! This Ninja would like me to be at his beck and call as if I don't have a life or my own household to manage. ...and he ain't paying no bill$!!!
The actual root of the tension is manageable were we in a healthy relationship; but we are not. It's all his way or the highway; and as they say in the Military this ninja "don't have enough time in grade" to be giving me this much headache.
This strain started because I chose to spend time (a Saturday evening) with a family member visiting from overseas (& here for surgery) and I did not let him know earlier that day; THOUGH I'd not agreed to spend the evening with him either, though he'd felt entitled to that time; but that's another story.
​
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Good for you. I was in an abusive relationship that I ended 4 years ago. He started off manipulative and controlling. I didn't know that's what he was doing, but I did see it as offensive, just "minor" since I could handle it. He was also 13 years my senior. The emotional abuse was offset by how sweet he was...when he wanted to be, and how much fun we had...when he wanted to...He is such a.great.actor. No one could believe that one day...4 years into the relationship...he would decide to slap the sh!t out of me.

When I meet guys who show boundary issues from jump, I let them know I'm not here for that and just bounce. I can see the mindf*ckery 3 miles ahead now, thanks to that firsthand experience. No need for explanations. I now just call them on it...and bounce.
 
so i started to reply to this dude's message but then i checked his questions because the % seemed pretty low. i am making the snap judgment that he wants a pretty idiot who will put up with a jealous streak. unacceptable answers - highest level of education (apparently mine is too high), can your partner go to dinner with their ex (apparently he wants a jealous partner who wouldnt allow this) would you date someone who ever had a homosexual relationship (maybe it depends) but, have you ever had a homosexual experience (unacceptable to have not, and not want to)

wut

this is a case of online dating working against itself. because do i really feel strongly about these things or do i feel strongly because of the way the site makes it seem like a compatibility issue? :lol: i care but irl would this stop me from going out with somebody? based on internet questions :lol:
 
It's time for me to change my message settings on pof. the "hi" "hey" "sup" "hi beautiful" "wyd" messages are getting old. so from now on the first message needs to be 50 characters or above. I should've done this a looooong time ago.
 
Am I lame for missing online dating?

I'm recovering from surgery and only stopped because, um, I physically cannot go on dates. I dropped the last of the dudes a few week before I went under the knife.

I've met alot of lame-o's on these sites, but I have met cool people who have made the experience worthwhile. I was practically averaging at least 1 date a week...and I'm only counting the guys who are worth my time. So in essence, I feel as if I'm getting closer to meeting "that guy" since the quality of the men I meet keeps improving.
 
keyawarren said:
Am I lame for missing online dating?

I'm recovering from surgery and only stopped because, um, I physically cannot go on dates. I dropped the last of the dudes a few week before I went under the knife.

I've met alot of lame-o's on these sites, but I have met cool people who have made the experience worthwhile. I was practically averaging at least 1 date a week...and I'm only counting the guys who are worth my time. So in essence, I feel as if I'm getting closer to meeting "that guy" since the quality of the men I meet keeps improving.
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im about to start up again soon, as soon as i figure out what the do with this hair scenario. but i also think i need to update my pictures because my profile isnt getting as much traffic as it does usually, i think its gone stale.

oh by the way i was wondering if yall could help me decipher this

tumblr_nryttmF6w31rfluzko1_540.jpg
 
CaraWalker said:
im about to start up again soon, as soon as i figure out what the do with this hair scenario. but i also think i need to update my pictures because my profile isnt getting as much traffic as it does usually, i think its gone stale.

oh by the way i was wondering if yall could help me decipher this

tumblr_nryttmF6w31rfluzko1_540.jpg
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Lol!! I hate getting messages like that. A period is nowhere to be found and I shouldn't have to figure out what you're trying to say. A mess

Soooo I think he's asking if your single, physically attracted to him and would like to get to know each other on there (the dating website). And then he wants to know if you want to be friends, companions, lovers and all that good stuff. Hit his line if you're completely single. Lol
 
I met a wonderful guy online who was enamored with me. He complimented me and calling me gorgeous and saying that I was out of his league. However he still wanted to get to know me and pursue me. We got to know each other well over the course of a few weeks and we would talk/text daily. He told me many personal things and I asked a gazillion questions which he gladly answered. He practically sent me pics daily n I did the same as well. Well we had our first date arranged for friday. Well the last time we communicated was Tues then I didn't hear from him. I even sent a text Thursday just in case and he never responded. I went online now and it showed he had logged on the day prior .

So I know he is alive n well. My friend said it seemed like he is insecure and probably scared of meeting me.


Le siggggh. My only regret is exchanging all those pictures with him and I'm confused as to what made him chicken out. I need another hiatus from this online crap. Le sigh
 
sweetvi said:
I met a wonderful guy online who was enamored with me. He complimented me and calling me gorgeous and saying that I was out of his league. However he still wanted to get to know me and pursue me. We got to know each other well over the course of a few weeks and we would talk/text daily. He told me many personal things and I asked a gazillion questions which he gladly answered. He practically sent me pics daily n I did the same as well. Well we had our first date arranged for friday. Well the last time we communicated was Tues then I didn't hear from him. I even sent a text Thursday just in case and he never responded. I went online now and it showed he had logged on the day prior .

So I know he is alive n well. My friend said it seemed like he is insecure and probably scared of meeting me.


Le siggggh. My only regret is exchanging all those pictures with him and I'm confused as to what made him chicken out. I need another hiatus from this online crap. Le sigh
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Honestly, he sounds like a scrub. I picked up on that from the beginning of your post. 2 things: when men go too hard in the beginning I know its not gonna pan out, esp if he is constantly complimenting me. I consider that "going too hard". Men of substance aren't usually uber flattering.

Secondly, text/talking and sending pictures everyday? Not a bad thing but it gives a false sense of familiarity. Staying on top of each other like that way before the 1st date sends it into doomsville, ime. Especially if that date is many days away.

There are definitely exceptions to the rule though.
 
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My gf said the fact that he said I was out of his league made him look like a wimp. He needs a bavkbone according to her. He should be thinking and not saying it. The compliments did not bother me because ive experienced that b4 n some cultures are more aggressive than others.


However what you said about texting everyday does make sense because I became confortable n kind of familiar. I'm like ugggggh but I'm glad he stepped back early in the game. Thx

keyawarren said:
Honestly, he sounds like a scrub. I picked up on that from the beginning of your post. 2 things: when men go too hard in the beginning I know its not gonna pan out, esp if he is constantly complimenting me. I consider that "going too hard". Men of substance aren't usually uber flattering.

Secondly, text/talking and sending pictures everyday? Not a bad thing but it gives a false sense of familiarity. Staying on top of each other like that way before the 1st date sends it into doomsville, ime. Especially if that date is many days away.

There are definitely exceptions to the rule though.
Click to expand...
 
Spelling/bad grammar is a pet peeve of mine. I try to lax a bit in the texting phase but I feel like initial emails are the first impression stage. At least try to pretend you're intelligent!

I have (or had at this point) 2 prospects - one spelled mosquito as myskito :look: and the other spelled whether as "weather". :perplexed: I haven't responded back to either one of them. :lol: Am I being too nit-picky?
 
@sweetvi I know how you feel ! Trust me.
There was one dude I spoke to back in December and we weren't overly familiar but when we'd speak it had a very friendly and comical vibe to it. We'd talk for a while on the phone and sometimes I'd have to cut it a little short b/c it was getting late. He never ever came at me in a flirtatious or out of order way at all. I actually enjoyed talking to him, I honestly did. I could tell however that he was very apprehensive about women and getting played perhaps, he admitted that he can be an over thinker and very cautious. We spoke several times before he said he wanted to meet up. It was a Friday and I really didn't have a great day at work and I was in a sucky mood. I didn't text him at all that day. I went out that evening and had a blast w/ coworkers. This ***** texts me about what I'm doing and I said eating out with coworkers. And his whole vibe was like "I don't believe her yeah right".. I had to even show my coworker the texts to see if I was misreading it and she said nahhh Britt, dude sounds really really insecure and you should be careful with him if he's like that already. The next day he sends me a passive aggressive text and I called him on his funny behavior and he just got mad quiet. I called him to 'clear the air' dude ignored me. Basically he ignored me from there on out before he even got a chance to meet me face to face b/c he was upset for what exactly, idk....
Anywho, I've seen him on several dating sites since and I still get the urge to message him and curse him out lol.

Another person -- very recent. We messaged a few times back and forth until I had to tell him stop the messaging let's talk. We spoke for a while on the phone and I had to cut him a little short b/c it was getting late. I never heard from him again either.
 
i dont do a bunch of chatting before meeting. i basically just establish that we are capable of carrying on a conversation then schedule a meet as quickly after as possible.

i think it can be a red flag if you are talking regularly but havent met yet - just because, whats the reason behind it? who wants to talk a lot with someone they havent met yet?
 
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