***Online Dating Support Thread***

pearlific1 said:
Does anyone else get suspicious when they see professional photos on a dating site?

Like maybe the person is trying to catfish you?! Lol
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I prefer professional photos over the mirror selfies guys seem to like :lol:
The profiles Ive come across leave an instagram or facebook page so you know they are not catfishing you. Can you use google to search for images?

CaraWalker said:
im talking to a guy finishing up his mba at northwestern before working at a top consulting firm who just got back from three months in spain studying abroad and yet... the conversation is wanting :lol:
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:nono: I feel your annoyance. Is this guy on a paying site? Its like when you come across a profile of a handsome man who is educated and he doesnt bother to fill out his profile. Why would you make minimal effort when there are 100s of guys doing the same thing?

NaturallyBri87 said:
He kept sending me message after message so I finally decided to right back.

View attachment 302561

Dude had multiple pictures with his gun, multiple pictures of stacks of money, pictures of money next to his guns and can't understand why he wouldn't be someone's type lol smh The conversation thread is too long to post cuz he responded with an essay explaining himself. "I have pictures of my guns so ppl know not to **** with me. " "I have pictures of my money so ppl know I'm not struggling" I can not.

He did take down the drug money and gun pictures though So maybe he learned something
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:grin:Everybody deserves love :look: but I can't comprehend this boldness. Someone should create a dating site for ex-cons.
 
JollyGal said:
I prefer professional photos over the mirror selfies guys seem to like :lol: The profiles Ive come across leave an instagram or facebook page so you know they are not catfishing you. Can you use google to search for images? :nono: I feel your annoyance. Is this guy on a paying site? Its like when you come across a profile of a handsome man who is educated and he doesnt bother to fill out his profile. Why would you make minimal effort when there are 100s of guys doing the same thing? :grin:Everybody deserves love :look: but I can't comprehend this boldness. Someone should create a dating site for ex-cons.
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i dont use paysites. its not lack of effort - in fact when i fell off with responding he sent another message to jumstart the convo again. its just kind of boring :look: :lol:
 
SamandI said:
Maybe the AIDS *ducks*
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That is unfortunate if so. I wished him well and hit the block button. :perplexed

JollyGal said:
I prefer professional photos over the mirror selfies guys seem to like :lol:
The profiles Ive come across leave an instagram or facebook page so you know they are not catfishing you. Can you use google to search for images?


While I have come across a few with IG and FB accounts, most do not. I would really like to know if the guy hitting me up is real because he is gorgeous and 90% matches what I'm looking for. He is just "too perfect" if that makes sense. I will have to ask him to hold up a sign with the date on it while wearing a particular colored shirt :lachen: :lol:
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JollyGal said:
:lachen:Tone range? His username states his preference. According to his profile he is 'turning over a new leaf' and 'wants a lovely dark skinned woman' as a romantic partner. I can see how this can be seen as off putting.

My question is why would anyone use a paying site to fulfill fetishes? Its easier and cheaper to use the free sites.

Meeting face to face is the best way to determine whether he is expanding his options or he is a white woman's castaway. He has only winked at me so for now im not 100% interested :grin:

Stating a preference is not that much of a turn off to me. I have tried to do it in the past when I first started online dating using the free sites but it only attracted abuse from men that did not meet my preference.

I've come across a good deal of men and women's profiles that state racial preferences.
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I don't make any assumptions about men based on whether they are on a paid site or not. In general with online dating and dating in general... nothing means *anything * until they actually show you through actions...until you see how they treat you, etc. And as far as listing color/race preferences...it screams immaturity and indicates a fixation on race. *Most* people have a preference but most people dont list it so what does that say about those that do? Is this about finding a partner, finding companionship or finding a specific race/color?
 
so one night last fall i was out and ran into this cute dude that i recognized from okc. i started a conversation with him but realized pretty quickly he didnt recognize me.

ran into him again on halloween. i was dressed as a cat and he was dressed as scar from lion king. this time we went to a nearby bar together and danced and had a few drinks but either he or i ran into someone they knew so we split up.

i looked for him on okc after that but he was gone. he came back and found me today. i wonder if thats something... but my inbox is full :lol: not deleting right now :lol:
 
FxZZCOM.jpg


:huh:

:lol:

whats going on with this thirst bucket :lol:
 
@CaraWalker
gulp he might be thirsty or he might be crazy stalker alert!

You asked him if he used copy and paste :lachen:I love it
it gets rid of the timewasters

Ok I have a few prospective match dates lined up for next weekend :spinning: they need to actually confirm a time and place with me before the week is over otherwise I'm moving onto plan B.
1 guy is my type but English is his second language. The other two guys are outside my usual type but meet my other requirements.

I changed my profile it does not mention race or wanting to meet men from all background. My profile includes gender neutral hobbies and now all the messages I get from non-black men ask me if I like or date men from their ethnicity :p funny old world
 
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I've been online dating exactly 3 days and I'm already messing up. I replied to the wrong darn message. The guy just responded... I don't even want to read it.
 
These dudes really get in their feelings if messages don't go their way! If I'm not interested in someone I usually don't respond unless they send me a million messages after like "you there?" hi again" etc. And I'll nicely respond by saying that I don't think we would be a good fit and end it with a well wish. I'm rarely rude about it but they will respond like "who are you to judge a book by it's cover!" "my profile doesn't define me!" "maybe God would bless you with a man if you gave people a chance!" "you must be doing something wrong if you're on here!" like dang calm down!

like someone said upthread..we all aren't everyone's type. too many of them just look at pictures and send a message. they don't look at stuff like education, profession etc before they send that 'hey" message lol. They would be less angry if they understood than a 34 year old engineer with a masters degree and no kids (just an example) probably wouldn't be interested in a 28 year old "hustler" with a high school education, two kids and no car. idk. just my opinion.

In other news..I am messaging a teacher who I'd be interested in meeting. He just asked for my number. The only thing is he's 7 years older than me and all of my exes and boos have been exactly my age or no more than 2 years older than me. So I'm a little nervous about that age difference but shooo I'm tired of the games the guys my age like to play so I'm going to give it a go.
 
^^^ 7 years isn't too bad of an age difference. When I was younger, my age limit was ten years and my ex-dh is 7 years older than me. I honestly think those men do not care that they don't measure up or are on equal footing with you. I've had all kids of men approach me online and off and finding out what I have going on is not a deterrent to them even if they are 45 year old dope boys:nono:
 
ooooh i just had a conversation with my sister yesterday where i told her the life she is constantly insisting is the only way to live is the life of a hustler and i never wanted to be a hustler. she kept trying to explain that all 9 to 5 jobs had an earning cap. id say "then you go get a new job that pays more" and shed say "and it would have a cap" and i would say "then you go get a new job that pays more" and she didnt get that what i was saying is you never have a cap on what you earn if you keep increasing your salary. every time i try to have a conversation with her i get stuck in sticky stupid people logic.

anyway ive personally found that older men who are interested in dating someone like me between 6 to 10 years younger than them are not desirable... like in my experience its usually guys who wouldnt measure up to women their own age, emotionally. i think that doesnt even necessarily have to be a problem and i could see how other women wouldnt mind that ("as long as we're on the same level it doesnt matter that youre older than me on it") but i would always just get stuck on "youre too old for this." i dont think older guys are for me, but few age appropriately older guys (like 35-39) try to date me anyway. probably like 1 in 10.
 
@CaraWalker the convo with your sister sounds trying! It is hard to explain alternatives to people who are set in their ways.

IME older men are less picky and they seem to like me. I am definitely not a bombshell or bombshell sized (working on it via Feminine Belle!).
I draw the line at divorcees with children but I am also reluctant to get into relationships with divorcees period.
I'm still a way from being middle aged. However, the type of men I find attractive is likely to be a divorcee if he is older than me.

So no dates this past weekend the guys didnt confirm or feigned ignorance about arranging the dates . One guy was sweet enough to admit he should have done the arranging but was busy at work. Its time for me to move onto my other matches

eharmony has given me some surprises I've had more men interested in going straight to ehmail only to send me messages with "Hey, how are you?" or just "Hi." I've learned my lesson. No more forwarding to Ehmail the guided communication steps exist for a reason! :spinning:

Match has not been good so I will not be renewing my membership with them.
I'm now at the 'you have my number and sent me a text' stage but then there is no follow-through. Maybe my expectations are too high

Anyone had luck with match or eharmony?
 
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JollyGal said:
Anyone had luck with match or eharmony?
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Never had any luck on paid sites. Most of the men I have met online were from free sites. Paid sites are just tricky.... The perfect guy may be on there but if you both don't have a subscription at the same time, online around the same time, etc. you will never meet.

I don't like the free sites because of the "quality" factor BUT you never know where you will find love.
 
Sigh so I had a first conversation with a guy I've been messaging for a couple of weeks. We are just having general conversation and then he asks me my deal breakers. I give the basics like kids, uneducated and drugs etc. He proceeds to say his are basically the same except for he doesn't date virgins....

Now he is 30 and I'm 31 why is that relevant. He then goes on for about 20 mins about how he dosnt date celibate women either because he feels that the real person dosnt come out until after sex and that it's stupid to be celibate because a man will just put on a show until they get sex. He also said that you get to know a person by spending time with them late at night and managed to slip in that his last gf complained about his big crayon hurting her during sex.

This all took place within the first one hour conversation :look:. While I don't knock him for having his sexual preferences I feel annoyed that he brought that up from jump. I think I'll pass
 
by the way - i got a message from this asian dude which i find fascinating just because asian men never message me, but then before the end of his introductory hello he asked what i do for a living, which is ANNOYING AS ****, RIGHT? maybe i'm being sensitive but i cant ****ing stand when the first thing a dude asks is what kind of job you have, like, if i asked you what you did for a living and how much money you make i'd be a gold digging whore, wouldnt i, so what makes you think you get to ask me that? i feel like going off on him tbh, but also that i'm being snotty for no reason just because he's asian :lol: so idk but that REALLY annoys me.
 
Hi all,

@CaraWalker I was going to ask the same as @Phoenixsky13 Do you take these shirtless men seriously?
Unless their profiles state "casual sex" then I don't see why they want to post those photos. The rest of the guys look cute especially the doctor :look:

OKC asked me to be a moderator :lachen:I had a look at it and my eyes cannot un-see what has been seen. I want to help the online community but I don't want to do it for free.

Re: Dates - I've had plenty organised and then the guys "ghost" me or they cancel so I'm feeling a bit anxious about the dates organised for this weekend and next.

I'm bored of the passive aggressive nature of some of the guys I have been chatting to.
You have my number but you keep checking out my profile, sending me messages online or winking at me? We've spoken on the phone and you still do this and get upset when I don't respond online. o_O.

Match was really a waste of my time and money. Eharmony has amounted to interest, phone calls but no dates after nearly 2 months. OKc same as eharmony.

One guy rejected me via text after we were texting to organise our meeting. He wanted us to meet closer to his hometown. I said I don't feel comfortable can we meet closer to my hometown or in a more central location. He said "I don't think we will be a good match but if you are ever in my hometown let me know we can meet for coffee" :headspin:
 
JollyGal said:
Hi all,

@CaraWalker I was going to ask the same as @Phoenixsky13 Do you take these shirtless men seriously?
Unless their profiles state "casual sex" then I don't see why they want to post those photos. The rest of the guys look cute especially the doctor :look:

OKC asked me to be a moderator :lachen:I had a look at it and my eyes cannot un-see what has been seen. I want to help the online community but I don't want to do it for free.
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no, i don't think i've ever been out with any of the guys who have a shirtless picture. i know for sure no guys with a shirtless default picture, but some probably had beach photos or something down the line in the middle. even when i met a guy just to hook up, it turned out he had his jd from yale law and absolutely nothing on his profile indicated that :rofl: i have pretty good instincts about that kind of stuff.

it's funny you mention that doctor, that dude has messaged me like 5 times from 5 different profiles. i only know it's the same guy because when i look at his photos he always has this same stupid picture of a HUGE back tattoo of that medicine sign with the snake around the stick or whatever that is. i think he thinks that him being a doctor means i'm going to overlook how hideous he is. :look: he's wrong :lol: maybe at some point in the future i will make those kinds of concessions but not yet. i can't do bald dudes. the i really like you guy turned out to be a nut... he is texting me all the time OMG. he is so annoying :lol: i don't even think i want to meet him anymore.

i'm not surprised you're having trouble transitioning from messaging to real life. one of the hardest parts is getting dudes to actually commit to the agreed upon date. i don't even consider them confirmed until the day of when they message to check or double-confirm. if i don't hear from them some point during the morning and afternoon the day of or the day before, i move on with my life.
 
What are yalls thoughts about FaceTiming/Skyping before the first date?

I gave my number to a POF dude and next thing I knew he was FaceTiming me while I was shopping at target lol. I didn't answer the FaceTime so he texted Talkin bout "I'm tryna get a FaceTime date with you" and he would try to FaceTime multiple times. Like instead of calling he facetimes. I wasNt feeling it so I kindly asked him to just call me until we at least had our first date.

I think that was his way of trying to make sure he's not being catfished. But still...i guess I feel like FaceTime/Skype is more intimate and something you do with your Bf/gf & friends.
 
Logged into my POF account for the first time in forever. I must be severely bored.

1) I can't stand when guys have nothing in their profile and then write you and only say "hi".

2) Got a message like above from a dude who I immediately recognized from a few years ago that was a flake. Didn't officially confirm our plans and hit me like "so what's up for tonight". Ninja, please. Glad I have such a good memory with stuff like this, keeps me from wasting time on fools I already know ain't about ish.
 
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LoveisYou said:
I want to read some positive online dating stories :)
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if it makes you feel any better im still talking and hanging out with a dude i met two years ago cause we like each other even if were wrong for each other. i do make a lot of friends out of failed dating attempts.
 
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