Ok I'm going to do it- Could you be in a plural marriage?
- Thread starter FRO-EVER 21
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He's alllll mine. 
sprungonhairboards
Well-Known Member
No no hell no
afrodyt2000
Member
Neva Eva! I can't even watch Big Love. It makes me ill.
LadyPaniolo
New Member
Sometimes when I watch Big Love I think I could do it... it'd be nice to have some help around here... someone I can trust to watch my kids so I can get some sleep or go to the grocery. A woman to help clean up and everything... of course DH does way more cooking and cleaning than I do!
But honestly I couldn't do it. Even thinking about women DH was with before he knew me makes me crazy with jealousy. If I even think a woman is trying to get at my husband, she'd better watch out!
But honestly I couldn't do it. Even thinking about women DH was with before he knew me makes me crazy with jealousy. If I even think a woman is trying to get at my husband, she'd better watch out!
Lusa
New Member
I most certainly wouldn't. I don't fancy the idea of sharing my man with anyone else. I believe there's a real commitment we made when we consummated our marriage, and having him break that for someone else would kill me. I would rather die single than be wife #1 or goodness knows how many. I also wouldn't willingly put myself at risk for HIV/AIDS.
I have a cousin that is married to a polygamist, and her life has been hell. I have seen what has become of her children, her own self worth, and that's not appealing to me.
I have a cousin that is married to a polygamist, and her life has been hell. I have seen what has become of her children, her own self worth, and that's not appealing to me.
SleekandBouncy
Well-Known Member
Disclaimer: This is not directed at the OP, simply the topic. Now for my POV. 
I couldn't do multiple husbands, that's too much work for me. As for the other.....
I get paid less than a man for the same work, my skills are second guessed because I'm a woman, there are places here and around the world where women are deemed undeserving of an education, places where it's acceptable for a man to beat or burn his wife, where women have no rights to even claim rape, old men marry young women every day. So, am I willing to give them another perk?
Hm....let's see. I respect him by being with only one man, but he gets to choose which flavor of love he wants for the night/week/month and I have to come to terms with it? What do I get? Less money, less time with him oh and a dirty member that's been up inside another woman. No. Thank You. What's next, if all women walk around naked it'll numb their senses to female sexuality thereby reducing sexual harassment cases
It's the male fantasy of female multiplicity and for "some" it's a way of being with another women without god's scorn. It's seem oddly convenient that it's still practiced even in instances where there's no practical purpose. My only real beef with polygamy is that often it accompanies a high level of sexism. If it were just a lifestyle I'd have no problem, but the men who have often "explained" polygamy to me are usually dead against Polyandry (1 wife, multiple husbands) regardless of circumstances. Not to mention, they also have some really disturbing opinions on women.
I couldn't do multiple husbands, that's too much work for me. As for the other.....
I get paid less than a man for the same work, my skills are second guessed because I'm a woman, there are places here and around the world where women are deemed undeserving of an education, places where it's acceptable for a man to beat or burn his wife, where women have no rights to even claim rape, old men marry young women every day. So, am I willing to give them another perk?
Hm....let's see. I respect him by being with only one man, but he gets to choose which flavor of love he wants for the night/week/month and I have to come to terms with it? What do I get? Less money, less time with him oh and a dirty member that's been up inside another woman. No. Thank You. What's next, if all women walk around naked it'll numb their senses to female sexuality thereby reducing sexual harassment cases
It's the male fantasy of female multiplicity and for "some" it's a way of being with another women without god's scorn. It's seem oddly convenient that it's still practiced even in instances where there's no practical purpose. My only real beef with polygamy is that often it accompanies a high level of sexism. If it were just a lifestyle I'd have no problem, but the men who have often "explained" polygamy to me are usually dead against Polyandry (1 wife, multiple husbands) regardless of circumstances. Not to mention, they also have some really disturbing opinions on women.
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StrawberryQueen
Well-Known Member
Thats IMPOSSIBLE!McDreamy said:
Lusa
New Member
McDreamy said:
I have seen polygamy in my family, and from other people in my life and I know how it works. It's not a lifestyle I would choose for myself or my children.
Luckily, I am not living in rural Africa fifty years ago where I wouldn't have a choice like my paternal grandmother.
SleekandBouncy
Well-Known Member
McDreamy said:
Right, and monogamous marriages are supposed to be forever and faithful. We see how well that works
In reality lust, jealousy, self interest, control and ego trips can work there way into some of the most perfect monogamous marriages so I believe it's the same for polygamy. Very few of the relationships I've known that were open or polygamous worked out as stated above. The men were catered too and the women had the responsibility of dealing with natural and normal human emotions like jealousy and possessiveness. Now if the women even entertained the idea of polyandry their husbands would liekly slap the brown right off of them or at the least label them ungodly sluts.
MissYocairis
Well-Known Member
...only if I get to be the one with the multiple spouses....I don't really know any men wise enough to handle more than one woman.....but I know pah-lenty of women wise enough to do justice to multiple men! 
....and I'm not even a feminist!
....and I'm not even a feminist!
*Happily Me*
Well-Known Member
I could depending on the situation.
It would have to be with someone who's very mature.
It would have to be with someone who's very mature.
FlowerHair
Reclaiming my time
My uncle has 2 wifes and it works well. However, I couldn't do it.
The difference in for instance Kenya, where my father was from, is that having 2 wifes is actually a better deal for most women. The other option is to be a mistress, or a wife to a husband that keeps mistresses.
If you are someone's wife at least you get a house, some land, your children are taken care of etc.
The husband lives an equal amount of time in the wifes' houses.
My grandfather had 4 wifes, 2 of his own and 2 that he inherited from his brother when the brother died. My grandfather was a bad man, so he wasn't a good husband to any of his wifes.
ETA. My family is not muslim, they are Catholic
The difference in for instance Kenya, where my father was from, is that having 2 wifes is actually a better deal for most women. The other option is to be a mistress, or a wife to a husband that keeps mistresses.
If you are someone's wife at least you get a house, some land, your children are taken care of etc.
The husband lives an equal amount of time in the wifes' houses. My grandfather had 4 wifes, 2 of his own and 2 that he inherited from his brother when the brother died. My grandfather was a bad man, so he wasn't a good husband to any of his wifes.
ETA. My family is not muslim, they are Catholic
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Hell NO!!!!! Don't get me started on this one. But I will say this. No woman has to be that stupid and desperate to have a man in her life.
Not EVER! There are too many races to choose from to have to bow down and share a stupid man with some other stupid woman.
And I say Go for it! Go for the ONE man who loves the ONE 'YOU".
I don't care what color, race, religion he is, just go for it! As long as you both get along and love each other and have respect for each other and are committed to each other, Go for it!
You do NOT have to settle for less.
One man -- One Woman! Case Closed!!!
Not EVER! There are too many races to choose from to have to bow down and share a stupid man with some other stupid woman.
And I say Go for it! Go for the ONE man who loves the ONE 'YOU".
I don't care what color, race, religion he is, just go for it! As long as you both get along and love each other and have respect for each other and are committed to each other, Go for it!
You do NOT have to settle for less.
One man -- One Woman! Case Closed!!!
People are crazy....just see people..don't get married.
Oh and why is it always the man with so many wives and not the other way around. I swear if ever I was silly enough to do something like this I would be sleeping with other men and I would let the idiot know where I stand.
Although I'm married...now I don't believe in marriege for this very reason. People just don't seem to know how to be faithful. Too busy lusting after other people imo.
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MissScarlett
New Member
No, not, never.
How can you keep jealousy down as far as yes....I'm taking it to sex.
So he gets to have sex with Wife #1 on Sat., #2 on Sun??? And I'm in the same house Hell nawww........
How can you keep jealousy down as far as yes....I'm taking it to sex.
So he gets to have sex with Wife #1 on Sat., #2 on Sun??? And I'm in the same house
Hell nawww........
cocoberry10
Well-Known Member
McDreamy said:
This is a very good point. I couldn't do it, but I couldn't do the above either (be with a man with many kids by many women)
cocoberry10
Well-Known Member
Shimmie said:
When Shimmie starts talking about interfaith/religious marriages, I know she means business!
cocoberry10
Well-Known Member
JFemme said:
Ha! This is hilarious. I have a friend who's dh tried to get her to agree to a threesome. So her answer was "sure, just tell me when and what HIS name is"
Let's just say he never brought the topic up again!
I'm Sorry Sweet Coco...cocoberry10 said:When Shimmie starts talking about interfaith/religious marriages, I know she means business!
I was including the entire spectrum of races / faiths yet in Chrisitanity, I still mean those of like precious faith -- equally yoked.
glamazon386
Well-Known Member
Hell No! I don't play well with others nor do I share.
cocoberry10
Well-Known Member
Hopefully they aren't sexually involved, but unfortunately, that's not always the case. SOME men w/baby mamas are permanently attached to those women, not just b/c of the children, but b/c there are feelings or interactions that lead to indiscretions. NOT ALWAYS, BUT SOMETIMES. I've had friends that were dating men w/children, and they've come to find out that the man was still sleeping with his baby's mother. But men like that are childish!Glamourous said:
cocoberry10 said:Ha! This is hilarious. I have a friend who's dh tried to get her to agree to a threesome. So her answer was "sure, just tell me when and what HIS name is"
Served him right! Smart dummie.......
That's a stupid woman too....McDreamy said:
Just think more highly of 'yourself' (general you....not you McDreamy). McDreamy, for the record. I read where you have family members in this situation. I can understand your sincerity and I respect your views on this so my comments and feelings are not directed at you personally and how you feel about this. You obviously have compassion and I do respect you.
But I don't (have compassion nor yield)! I don't believe a woman has to settle for less just to appease a man or to have a man.
I'm not sharing my husband with anyone. It's either 'just me' or I'm off to someone else, no matter what color/ race who is satisfied with me and only me. It's just dumb and weak for a woman to 'settle' for less and allowing a man to have the best of her and gives her less in return. It's just plain stupid.
No woman needs to be that desperate to have a man or a home...Please all that for a house! There are too many other men out there to be with... ALONE!
No disrespect intended, but there are some customs that bring women down to a level of disgrace and this is one of them. I'm sorry but it is. No man is going to disgrace me by making me subject to another woman. I DO NOT compete for a man's affections. There is no such thing as sharing a spouse. It's sick and it is disease bound in ones, body and soul.
Why is "Africa" so disease prone with AIDs? Multiple sex partners.
Anyway.... it's stupid!
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