Now He's Going to Jail

[ShiShiPooPoo]

Some of you remember Hopeful's thread about covering and me mentioning some major problems with my DH and irresponsibility, selfishness, etc. well, it has gotten worse. Last February, he was taking our DD to the doc and smashed into someone. He was issued 3 tickets, one was no proof of insurance, which we DO have. He never places the cards in the car like I tell him too. Anyway, he had court dates which he missed then told half truths about who told him what, when, whatever. Now, he either pays 1100 or turn himself in and go to court the next day.

Y'all, I don't come from this. My family is very upstanding and I as well in the community. His family are wonderful people who don't understand this either. Emotionally I'm done. Then he sulks around so you can feel bad for him, forgive him, and start the cycle over again. MY PLAN is getting things in order for a divorce. I'm through with this. We have two beautiful children who will be wondering why Daddy isn't home. I'm over his Kang ***.

Any thoughts? I just needed to let it out to real women. I'm afraid I'm co-dependent after this bull****.

 

[hopeful]

So so so sorry you and your family are going through this. He is still acting like a little boy, waiting for mommy to fix things. I don't have any advice just (((hugs))) and prayers and I hope things work out. One thing for sure let him figure things out and completely shoulder the responsibility for fixing things if they can be fixed. It sounds like he just needs to pay $1,100, is that right? What is he sulking about anyway? Man up and pay the fees, keep the insurance cards in the car, and grow the f up.

 

[deltadreamland]

Sending prayers your way for you and your family. Sounds like you know what needs to be done and you've made your decision. When you're tired, you're just tired. If his actions have become a cycle, then I know that can be very annoying. You're left wondering when the next ball will drop and how hard it will drop. Sounds like you have a wonderful and supportive family, so take care of you and your babies. (((HUGS)))

 

[TayMac]

I'm sorry things have gotten worse. Seems like you have given him every chance and he doesn't wish to improve. He needs to pay the dang fine though because that is some nonsense. I hope everythings come together whatever you decide.

 

[ms.mimi]

So sorry you are going through this.
Has he always been like this and it's getting worst or is this something new? If this is something new he needs to see a professional to figure out what's going on. Maybe he's depressed and that can be identified and helped by a medical professional.
If he has always been like this but is getting worst I think you are doing the right thing. One adult in the relationship not considering consequences is too many. And the fact that his family's financial and emotional well being isn't a priority is selfish and unacceptable behavior for a family man.
Raising a grown man is such a waste of your time, emotions and energy. What woman in the free world with a healthy self esteem would sign up to be the woman and the man in the relationship? Thanks but no thanks! Hopefully when he sees you are serious and this type of behavior will not be tolerated maybe he'll get serious and get his self together. I hope for the sake of your family he changes asap.

 

[hopeful]

ShiShiPooPoo any updates?

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

I haven't been back because I thought the thread was deleted.

His parents gave him the money. I wasn't happy about that because he's not going to learn with the enablement. I sent him on to take care of his mess while I visit my home with the kids.

I am really disconnected at this point. He is trying to do better but after so long I've become numb to it. My anxiety level and stress has decreased since he's been gone. My blood pressure has returned to a somewhat normal rate. It has been high.

 

[GeorginaSparks]

I haven't been back because I thought the thread was deleted.

His parents gave him the money. I wasn't happy about that because he's not going to learn with the enablement. I sent him on to take care of his mess while I visit my home with the kids.

I am really disconnected at this point. He is trying to do better but after so long I've become numb to it. My anxiety level and stress has decreased since he's been gone. My blood pressure has returned to a somewhat normal rate. It has been high.

wow.....

 

[CoilyFields]

Be encouraged. Marriage is hard work.

A piece of advice: don't let anyone online or IRL influence you to end your marriage because you and your children are the ones that will have to live with the outcome.

 

[Evolving78]

Be encouraged. Marriage is hard work.

A piece of advice: don't let anyone online or IRL influence you to end your marriage because you and your children are the ones that will have to live with the outcome.

i second that! hope you and your husband are able to work things out. it sounds fixable.