Non-Virgins who stayed celibate until marriage
- Thread starter Smiley79
- Start date
sunnydaze
Well-Known Member
Good topic, hope someone comes with a story.
I am in your same situation (divorced w/a young daughter). I've been celibate for a good while now and I cannot honestly say I am waiting for the marriage reason (I too have yet to be inspired), but I think that is a wonderful thing, waiting until remarrying again, if that's something you want to do.
I am in your same situation (divorced w/a young daughter). I've been celibate for a good while now and I cannot honestly say I am waiting for the marriage reason (I too have yet to be inspired), but I think that is a wonderful thing, waiting until remarrying again, if that's something you want to do.
loolalooh
Well-Known Member
I'm remaining celibate until marriage, but I'm not married yet, so it's technically not a success story yet. However, I'm confident that I can wait because, frankly, I want the last man I sleep with to be my husband. If a guy that I'm dating is not okay with us being celibate until marriage, then he can go kick rocks. I'm worthy for a man to wait until the wedding night.
Bumping for stories.
Bumping for stories.
Flawless_JYM
New Member
I can agree I've heard men say that too and looking from their pov I can understand too. Imagine a guy doing/saying something like I don't want to provide for another chick until she is my wife or whatever the male equivalent would be how that would play out?
menina
Believing the book of Revelations
i feel like its a lot easier when both people are waiting for marriage because they want to, rather than one waiting for the other, because both people can see the "light at the end of the tunnel" lol
there are plenty of guys out there willing to wait for marriage because of their love and respect for their partner's beliefs. personally i would like both of us to be equally willing to wait though.
then after deciding to continue the relationship, its probably best to have a game plan to make sure how y'all don't get too tempted
there are plenty of guys out there willing to wait for marriage because of their love and respect for their partner's beliefs. personally i would like both of us to be equally willing to wait though.
then after deciding to continue the relationship, its probably best to have a game plan to make sure how y'all don't get too tempted
ksimmi82
Well-Known Member
Before meeting my current SO I was celibate for 2 years and was fully convinced that I was going to wait until marriage. After dating him for a few months we gave into the temptation and we started sleeping together regularly. Recently I have been experiencing feelings of guilt and stated my concerns to him and he said he totally understood where I was coming from. I told him that I want to stop having sex and wait until we are married but I'm sensing problems already. He's confused by my reasoning (which I understand) eventhough Ive explained to him that I decided to remain celibate for religious reasons...I say all this to say...it's hard...extreamly hard...especially if you both view sex differently and have indulged in it.
melissa-bee
Well-Known Member
This is something that has been on my mind recently. I don't have much to add but I do have some concerns. But right now the benefits outweigh the concerns.
O-ren
New Member
well I dont agree with the pov. if a woman wants to be celibate til marrtiage, she has every right to, she just has to find a guy who doesnt see it as "unfair" but willing to work with her.
Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
This might be tough given that you've already slept with him.
From his POV he can see it as bait and switch or false advertisement. However, human beings are dynamic and what would happen if you changed your mind about how you want to live your life after marriage? Relating to sex or otherwise. You both have good reasons because well, they're yours. I know people in this situation and the men NEVER quite understand and usually end up breaking up. They see it as a rejection and I totally understand their pov as well.
I hope it works out well for you...if you're open to counseling, I'd do that as well, if he resists. If he's totally OK with it (and be sure he's not going to pressure you later on with temptation etc.) then no need for it!
HTH!
AHeadOfCoils
Well-Known Member
I wish you brightest blessings....as for me...there are just some mysteries I cannot take into a marriage. Wondering what our sex life is going to be like is but one of them.....I gots to know what I'm signing up for...
Preach!
Flawless_JYM
New Member
I never said she didn't. I just said I could see where the guy is coming from esp if she isn't a virgin and I wonder if the man did the womans equivalent how many would really be cool. Being that this is a womens messageboard of course a majority of women aren't going to agree and/or look at it from the a mans pov. I also understand that too since we aren't men.
reeko43
Well-Known Member
If I had it all to do over again, I would have waited for my husband. After being molested by a female babysitter between 5 - 6 years of age, I feel that the affects of that pushed me to have sex before I was ready. My first experience was at the end of my senior year of HS and it was horrible.
After becoming saved, it took a few years for me to adopt celibacy again. When I did, I discovered the power I had as a woman. My standards changed when it came to men and I had no problem letting them know. I wasn't having sex until marriage or never if I never found the right man. That filtered the wrong men out and the right man, my DH, in. My DH felt that my resolve was one of the signs that I was the one for him. He had prayed for a pure relationship and a spritual one. I made love for the first time with my husband. Nothing I had experienced before compared to that.
Just read through this thread and for those who returned to celibacy, hang in there. Sometimes sex can cloud judgment and influence our choices, not always for the best.
After becoming saved, it took a few years for me to adopt celibacy again. When I did, I discovered the power I had as a woman. My standards changed when it came to men and I had no problem letting them know. I wasn't having sex until marriage or never if I never found the right man. That filtered the wrong men out and the right man, my DH, in. My DH felt that my resolve was one of the signs that I was the one for him. He had prayed for a pure relationship and a spritual one. I made love for the first time with my husband. Nothing I had experienced before compared to that.
Just read through this thread and for those who returned to celibacy, hang in there. Sometimes sex can cloud judgment and influence our choices, not always for the best.
menina
Believing the book of Revelations
I wish you brightest blessings....as for me...there are just some mysteries I cannot take into a marriage. Wondering what our sex life is going to be like is but one of them.....I gots to know what I'm signing up for...
Preach!
well you can only do what you really WANT to do, and there are ways to find out certain things beforehand.
ETA: i should have just kept it simple...
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ksimmi82
Well-Known Member
Thank you so much for your reply...the ironic thing is...I'm 3 months away from getting my masters in Therapy...sometimes even the therapist needs counseling. Before we had sex he knew that I wanted to wait until marriage..but I rationalized just waiting until a committed relationship (no ones fault but my own)...after sitting down and carefully and thoughtfully explaining my position to him, he said he understands where I am coming from (my religious reasons)...he actually just text me a few min ago and suggested we do bible studies together.
WhipEffectz1
Well-Known Member
I wish you brightest blessings....as for me...there are just some mysteries I cannot take into a marriage. Wondering what our sex life is going to be like is but one of them.....I gots to know what I'm signing up for...
Umm yes!!! Thank ya!!!
TashaNikki
Well-Known Member
Im so happy you started this thread. I n celibate too (for religious reasons) and sometimes i feel like im the only one who is celibate but not a virgin AND is waiting for marriage. I do feel like its more difficult for men to accept my celibacy because im not a virgin but ive FINALLY come to a place in my life where idc.
The next man I sleep with will be my husband.
I say speak it into existence if thats what you want too. I have a feeling that wont be easy but I know it will be worth it
The next man I sleep with will be my husband.
I say speak it into existence if thats what you want too. I have a feeling that wont be easy but I know it will be worth it
TashaNikki
Well-Known Member
Oh and quick question, women who are celibate- when do you drop that type of information when you start seeing/ dating a man?
Smiley79
Well-Known Member
Im so happy you started this thread. I n celibate too (for religious reasons) and sometimes i feel like im the only one who is celibate but not a virgin AND is waiting for marriage. I do feel like its more difficult for men to accept my celibacy because im not a virgin but ive FINALLY come to a place in my life where idc.
The next man I sleep with will be my husband.
I say speak it into existence if thats what you want too. I have a feeling that wont be easy but I know it will be worth it
You are my twin! lol. Well I hope we all can support one another because its not impossible, it just has its challenges like anything else. I too always feel like I'm the only one in the celibate boat.
I just think more ppl talk about getting some rather than waiting before getting some.
Smiley79
Well-Known Member
I tend to drop it pretty early because I seem to always get this same queston from guys "why is a girl like you still single/why haven't you found someone"....So along that conversation I usually bring up how my faith is not just some religious affiliation but rather it's the way I live my life and although it is a continuous work in progress, it umbrellas all aspects of my life and my daughter. I tell them that understanably, it can be challenging to enter a relationship with someone who doesnt share the same objectives with me, for example, waiting till marriage to have sex etc and that's how I'm able to touch on the subject and put it out there early on. So far it has been effective and it allows for productive and mature conversation about the subject and at the same time let a guy know what time it is. It's only fair to not only me but the guy as well.
Darenia
New Member
Success story here!
My DH and I remained celibate until our wedding night. Because we were both in agreement and set guidelines from the start it was not as hard as people make it out to be. We both had been married before and had children from those marriages. Our marriage isn't perfect but, we have a trust for one another like nothing I ever had with anyone else before.
My DH and I remained celibate until our wedding night. Because we were both in agreement and set guidelines from the start it was not as hard as people make it out to be. We both had been married before and had children from those marriages. Our marriage isn't perfect but, we have a trust for one another like nothing I ever had with anyone else before.
Smiley79
Well-Known Member
Wow, you made my day Darenia!!! I like that you said you both set guidelines from the start; thats wonderful and it helps to ensure that both individuals are on the same page, rather than just one person doing their own thing and hoping for the best. Thanks for sharing!
O-ren
New Member
i can kindasortamaybe understand that 'fear' but would anyone really end their relationship based on the sex?
why not? If people can over financial woes, why not sex?
As for discussions, people always talk the big talk before then when it comes down to it..hot air.
