andromeda
Well-Known Member
For many us (including myself), getting a relaxer was a type of rite of passage into adolescence/young womanhood. It might have been imposed on us by our family, we might have begged for it, or it was just "the done thing".
There were various reasons why:
We reached an age where we had to (or wanted to) care for our hair ourselves. Even if our mothers had cared for our natural hair well as children, we didn't want to or felt we couldn't.
We associated being natural with bubbles and barrettes and being a child (or TWAs and locks and being a mature adult).
We associated relaxers with "down-and-out", flowing hair and going to get out hair done professionally - some of the perks of being a teen.
All of our peers had relaxers and it was the norm to get one at a certain age. Teenagehood is often marked by rebelling against your parents and childhood by trying to fit in with your peers.
I think addressing hair's role in the transition to adolescence is a part of ensuring that natural hair replaces relaxed hair as the default and isn't just another fad. A lot of us made the decision to return to being natural as adults. As mothers, aunts, older sisters, cousins, mentors, etc., how do we help our younger ones stay natural in the first place and view relaxers/straightening as just another option and not a rite of passage? What are some rites of passage that we can implement to recognize and ease the transition into adolescence as naturals? Feel free to share why a relaxer was or wasn't a rite of passage for you and how your experience can be applied to young girls.
There were various reasons why:
We reached an age where we had to (or wanted to) care for our hair ourselves. Even if our mothers had cared for our natural hair well as children, we didn't want to or felt we couldn't.
We associated being natural with bubbles and barrettes and being a child (or TWAs and locks and being a mature adult).
We associated relaxers with "down-and-out", flowing hair and going to get out hair done professionally - some of the perks of being a teen.
All of our peers had relaxers and it was the norm to get one at a certain age. Teenagehood is often marked by rebelling against your parents and childhood by trying to fit in with your peers.
I think addressing hair's role in the transition to adolescence is a part of ensuring that natural hair replaces relaxed hair as the default and isn't just another fad. A lot of us made the decision to return to being natural as adults. As mothers, aunts, older sisters, cousins, mentors, etc., how do we help our younger ones stay natural in the first place and view relaxers/straightening as just another option and not a rite of passage? What are some rites of passage that we can implement to recognize and ease the transition into adolescence as naturals? Feel free to share why a relaxer was or wasn't a rite of passage for you and how your experience can be applied to young girls.
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