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My (white) DH's Prejudice About Natural Hair....

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kbragg

kbragg

Well-Known Member
So I was thinking about that thread recently about assumptions people make about natural hair last night when a commercial came on last night during Idol with a woman with gorgeous natural hair. Well I asked hubby, what he thinks when he sees a woman rocking natural hair or locs.:look:

I know I shouldn't have been shocked by his response especially seeing as when I started my booty journey and asked him what an ideal booty is to him and he said Buffy & KiToy(:nono: I mean dang give me a realistic goal and I thought you was supposed to be a WHITE man:rofl:). I was really thinking he's say KimK, JLo, or Bey. Anyways....

He said when he sees a girl with natural hair he thinks she's more fun, more attractive, less inhibited and controlled by groupthink (has he been hanging with Erykah Badu?), more secure with herself, sexy, and not sucked into the western standard of beauty:shocked:

Then he goes on this rant about see I should have just left my natural hair alone and should've known better than to try that texturizer that made my hair straight and now I have to start over and how he wants our kids to be secure in themselves with how God made them and me putting chemicals in my hair sends a bad message and blah blah blah like I don't already know:rolleyes:

He also said straight hair is boring and he doesn't find Bey attractive:blush: I asked him why and he said her personality is just so blah. She just seems so quiet, shy, and reserved (ok I think I get what attracted him to me cuz ya'll know I'm not ANY of those things:lachen:)

See ya'll thought I was gonna say something bad didn't you?:grin:

Anyway there hadn't been a post about white people and black hair in a couple days so I thought I'd contribute.:lachen:
 
LOL!! Well this is good! At least your DH had some detailed thoughts on it! Most don't think about it that deeply. He really went for it with groupthink:lachen: So um, you transitioning?
 
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Ha ha ha... Mine's exactly the same. Dislikes any black woman with the western look! Doesn't see what's the big deal with the very over exposed Bey and was mega disappointed the last time he saw MJBlige as she practically is turning into a white woman.
 
kbragg said:
So I was thinking about that thread recently about assumptions people make about natural hair last night when a commercial came on last night during Idol with a woman with gorgeous natural hair. Well I asked hubby, what he thinks when he sees a woman rocking natural hair or locs.:look:

I know I shouldn't have been shocked by his response especially seeing as when I started my booty journey and asked him what an ideal booty is to him and he said Buffy & KiToy(:nono: I mean dang give me a realistic goal and I thought you was supposed to be a WHITE man:rofl:). I was really thinking he's say KimK, JLo, or Bey. Anyways....

He said when he sees a girl with natural hair he thinks she's more fun, more attractive, less inhibited and controlled by groupthink (has he been hanging with Erykah Badu?), more secure with herself, sexy, and not sucked into the western standard of beauty:shocked:

Then he goes on this rant about see I should have just left my natural hair alone and should've known better than to try that texturizer that made my hair straight and now I have to start over and how he wants our kids to be secure in themselves with how God made them and me putting chemicals in my hair sends a bad message and blah blah blah like I don't already know:rolleyes:

He also said straight hair is boring and he doesn't find Bey attractive:blush: I asked him why and he said her personality is just so blah. She just seems so quiet, shy, and reserved (ok I think I get what attracted him to me cuz ya'll know I'm not ANY of those things:lachen:)

See ya'll thought I was gonna say something bad didn't you?:grin:

Anyway there hadn't been a post about white people and black hair in a couple days so I thought I'd contribute.:lachen:
Click to expand...

Your silly I understand the reduction of Brain power. Mine is like a Ni-Cad battery it starts off high and the reduces rapidly I have four boys of my own and whew I feel a little slow sometimes in the memory department. Thank god for planners in the cell phone, :D

I love Spousal Support, My husband loves my natural and relaxed hair, He loved me bald and with hair down my back. I am so glad he is mine! You have a killer body by the way.
 
Girl that is on point, I love it!! I don't think your hubby is white, he's fooling you:lachen:because that is certainly NOT a response I saw coming from any white male honestly. But you know what, many of us (as african american women) are so confident and full of personality and truly show that "we are not our hair", your hubby's response may be more popular than I think. We can be proud of who we are and where we came from without giving off the vibe that any time someone sees a black woman with natural hair they're gonna get a speech about black power :afro2:.
I love his viewpoint, if no one in the world was natural, you have the support at home to rock your fro and curls in the fiercest way!! That is awesome and great daddy support for your daughters!!

:look::look::look::look: Hhhhhmmmmmm.....lemme go text dh!!!
 
Aviah said:
LOL!! Well this is good! At least your DH had some detailed thoughts on it! Most don't think about it that deeply. He really went for it with groupthink:lachen: So um, you transitioning?
Click to expand...

Like I have a choice:rolleyes::lachen: I won't be BCing this time though. I got 4 different textures and my TWA is more of a mullet:nono::lachen: Looking like a nappy Billy Ray Cyrus:nono::lachen:
 
Thought this would be negative since prejudice has a negative connotation.

I assume it would be negative because sometimes we have a tendency for amusing no one appreciate our hair, and we must have approval.. when in fact many people are supportive. When we see this happen we think we are in some kind of twilight zone. I see natural women more on TV, esp beauty/ cosmetic commercials more than ever before.
 
yeah, I thought you were going to say something bad. Before I read the thread, I was like: now why Kbragg gonna put dh on the chopping block like that? LOL!

I love his sentiments about the matter. Makes me reconsider perming my hair after these 9 looong months of stretching. I've also read on here somewhere that whites are more accepting/loving of our natural hair state than WE are. I don't know how true that is, but it makes think....
 
Your husband is a wise man. lol

I loved what he said about the message your kids maybe getting. I have noticed that since I went natural my daughter has more appreciation for her hair. She just turned 9 & in the past she never wanted to wear it in a puff & complained that her hair was too big & puffy. She also didn't like to wear it out when I occassionaly flat ironed it. She still said it was too big. Now that I am natural, when I wear my twist outs or a curly fro, she compliments me & even pokes fun & say hers is the biggest. Just last week she asked to wear her hair out, so I untwisted it, put in a banana clip & she loved it. The kids at school ask her if she had a weave. Even though I always tell her how beautiful her hair is, I don't think it clicked for her until I went natural. In the beginning when I experimented with styles I would ask her if she liked my hair, she would wrinkle up her nose & say no. I would say, well I love it & wore it proudly. She has witnessed me defend my hair when comments were made at different times by my uncle, my mother, brother, etc. My uncle asked what in the world are you NOT doing to your hair. My response was, don't you love it? I love it & I can't wait until it gets bigger & bigger so you can see my fro turn the corner before I do. I keep the responses fun & light & I think that has made a difference in how she now feels about her hair.
 
Whenever I flat iron my hair my husband's first question is, "This isn't that dangerous chemical thing?" (I used to threaten to relax my hair when I got frustrated.)
 
my DH is white and I think I'm the one with the issue concerning my natural hair. I've been wigging it for growth/retention but I noticed when he does see it out he compliments MY hair.

I think i'm more frustrated with the length situation and shrinkage. I, like everyone else just want long hair. Now I'm focusing more on health and what my hair likes.

When I first started with the wigs, half wigs and lace fronts I THOUGHT it would be a turn on for him to see me in the MBL layered flowing tresses. I guess I asumed wrong because he tends to be happier when I get a good twist out on my own 12 inches.

I'm still going to wig it to get more length/retention but I'm going to keep practicing my twist out as I get back to a length i'm comfortable with.

sorry for the typos i'm on my phone and couldn't pass this thread up. Lol
I've
 
theLovelyStyle said:
Finally, someone who doesn't think Bey looks like a "goddess"!!
Click to expand...

Many men I've spoken to (including a few ghey ones *snap*) say that they don't understand the big hype around Bey. :look:

Sometimes I think the male and female ideas of beauty are two different things.

Kbragg, your hubby sounds like a sweetheart!
 
I find that completely refreshing to hear what your husband feels about natural hair. I wished I knew more men like that. You are a lucky woman.
 
oooh girl i like the way your hubby thinks. :yep: i had no idea you weren't natural anymore though..

oh, and tell him to back up off bey. :mad: ♥
 
kbragg said:
So I was thinking about that thread recently about assumptions people make about natural hair last night when a commercial came on last night during Idol with a woman with gorgeous natural hair. Well I asked hubby, what he thinks when he sees a woman rocking natural hair or locs.:look:

I know I shouldn't have been shocked by his response especially seeing as when I started my booty journey and asked him what an ideal booty is to him and he said Buffy & KiToy(:nono: I mean dang give me a realistic goal and I thought you was supposed to be a WHITE man:rofl:). I was really thinking he's say KimK, JLo, or Bey. Anyways....

He said when he sees a girl with natural hair he thinks she's more fun, more attractive, less inhibited and controlled by groupthink (has he been hanging with Erykah Badu?), more secure with herself, sexy, and not sucked into the western standard of beauty:shocked:

Then he goes on this rant about see I should have just left my natural hair alone and should've known better than to try that texturizer that made my hair straight and now I have to start over and how he wants our kids to be secure in themselves with how God made them and me putting chemicals in my hair sends a bad message and blah blah blah like I don't already know:rolleyes:

He also said straight hair is boring and he doesn't find Bey attractive:blush: I asked him why and he said her personality is just so blah. She just seems so quiet, shy, and reserved (ok I think I get what attracted him to me cuz ya'll know I'm not ANY of those things:lachen:)

See ya'll thought I was gonna say something bad didn't you?:grin:

Anyway there hadn't been a post about white people and black hair in a couple days so I thought I'd contribute.:lachen:
Click to expand...

Does he have a brother lol:rolleyes:
 
Strangefruittree said:
Does he have a brother lol:rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Nope, he always wanted one though and it's his own fault he doesn't have one:lol: MIL told me that when she found out she was preggers with his sis she prayed and prayed for a daughter because DH was so bad and hyperactive that she didn't think she'd survive another man child:rofl::lachen: Baby Hulk takes after his daddy in that way too:nono:
 
kbragg said:
Like I have a choice:rolleyes::lachen: I won't be BCing this time though. I got 4 different textures and my TWA is more of a
mullet:nono::lachen: Looking like a nappy Billy Ray Cyrus:nono::lachen:
Click to expand...

Now that's funny, right there! About your first post, reminded me of the time I was watching "Lost" with my honey (who is white), and they had a flashback of Michael visiting his ex, and she was engaged to a white guy. Do you know my boyfriend pops off with, "Typical!", then goes on and on about it. First my jaw hit the floor, then I was like...:rolleyes:. He's crazy sometimes, but I love him.
 
Kbragg,
Your hubby and mine are two of a kind! He says my various hair syles change my look so significantly that he has a wife, girlfriend, mistress all rolled into one. Guess which style is the mistress? Rolls eyes....
 
I guess I am the only one that feels different about your thread; maybe because I talk to men too much.

I would ask your husband point blank would he marry someone with natural hair.

To me, when a man says a woman looks fun that just mean he would do the deed once or twice but that does not mean he will put a ring on it.
 
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