This is so embarrassing....

[dancinstallion]

I used to hear that a lot too. I have really thick hair so I just can't slick it down, you know? My lead, who barely had any hair at all told me that I need to look presentable at all times. It was just really hard for me. A lot of my co-workers would ask me if I needed a hairdresser

Just wear a bun and keep the traffic moving.

I have really thick hair too and It was very hard for me to keep my hair down. Gel has been a life saver for me. A lot of people don't like gel, But I would gel it down in a pony tail and kept it moving. that was my style for the week. Very easy hassle and maitanence free. Still looked professional. I didn't know what else to do with it.

 

[LittleLuxe]

I can NEVER belong to corporate America....

Not everyone can, and I mean that in a totally un-snarky way. We all have different personalities/styles and different things we're willing to sacrifice to achieve our goals. I have a very vibrant personality, I love to do all kinds of dramatic makeup and colorful nail polishes, I fully enjoy my right to style...but I also understand that for my goals (a career in medicine) my desire to express myself takes a backseat to my desire to be as efficient and dedicated to my job as possible.

There are jobs where you can express yourself and dress anyway you want and those jobs are a great option if you are adament about being able to express yourself 100% of the time. There's also being self-employed. Still if your desire is to work in a position where a certain conservative standard of dress is the norm (business, law, medicine, some computer related firms, teachers, etc. etc.) then you'll have to make some personal decisions.

Other women before have had to remove the nose ring, cut the nails, wear less jewelry, wear less revealing (whether they be tight or low-cut) clothing, and wear longer skirts to ensure their appearance doesn't hinder their success. Once you're at the very top then you have some more room to do whatever you feel like...but make sure you're at the very top

 

[Mrs. Verde]

I can NEVER belong to corporate America....

SND411
It ain't for everybody. It is a game and to win at it (in this case I'll define winning as moving up the corporate ladder) you have to play by the rules. If not you will suffer the consequences. That doesn't make the BS right. It's unfortunate, but that's reality. The great thing about this country is that there are many (or were before the recession) other places to work. Places that allow creativity and originality. Places often started by people fed up with the corporate BS.

 

[SuchaLady]

Okay so I'm new here but I saw this and really felt the nned to say something. I am a college student that works in the Graduate Studies department of the Business Building of my school. While I must say that nothing special is ever done to my hair it is neat. But at the job fairs we host companies from big and I mean big companies such as Target, Walmart, Publix, as well as the behind the scenes people are present and they look for miniscule reasons to not hire someone. I have seen many a resumes be tossed either in the trash or in the no pile so please believe it does happen. However do not get me wrong. It is not targeted at AA. Caucasions cant roll out of their beds and shake their heads and keep it going. My Caucasion manager does in no way shape or form discriminate so hair can not really be associated with one race. But think about it you wouldnt want a lawyer that looked like they stuck their finger in a wall outlet or a gyno that has bed head would you?

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

Did you guys scare off OP? She never came back did she?

 

[davisbr88]

So we should just play the rules in order to make OTHER people comfortable, but not ourselves?

Unfortunately, yes. That is the nature of corporate America. If you want that particular job at that particular company, it demands that you stick with the company culture. Just as someone else mentioned, nearly everyone there is uncomfortable for some reason or another (being forced to wear a suit, shave everyday, wear a bun, etc). But as I have already said, this is not specific to black women. Most people will be forced to conform to the ideal at some point or another. I'm not saying it's right by any means, but the reality of the fact is that if you want to work, you might have certain expectations. And though WE might view some things as professional, I can tell you from working at one of the big 5 firms that none of the styles posted in Ms. Martina's post would be considered professional there, but neither would the Caucasian styles that were also posted. I'm all for trying to change perceptions about black women and hair but in this case, it's not just about black women - it is the corporate image in general and that is a much larger fight that many might not be willing to face due to the fact that they don't want to risk their jobs during these economic times. I, personally, know I could never work in corporate America again because I can't get with the uptight mentality, but I also know how important it was to ensure that you wouldn't let anything unnecessary detract from your performance, and it would be a shame if your hairstyle would do so, especially since you're most likely not the only one forced to maintain that image.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

In a word: YES. It is the VP's ball park, his bat and ball, so if we want to play, we play HIS game.

Something no one has specifically addressed is that OP is in a high enough position at the company that it was a VP pulling her aside - which means she isn't "beneath his notice". A confrontational reaction from OP could have skewed the VP's opinion of her -- he views himself as telling her something for her own professional good and she appears to overreact? He could interpret that as misplaced priorities regarding her job.

Depending upon OP's visibility and the industry, her appearance might be more key to her job than any of us realize.

Aside from hair: I worked at a law firm where female associates needed to keep a business skirt-suit in their office. There were some older partners that maintained a very strict code of what was appropriate attire for meeting clients. So -- if the associate wants to be included in meetings for those partners' clients, they had to be prepared to change clothes, or get left out. Sexist? I didn't think so; it was simply what was required to play in that particular ball park. Same thing in this situation.

ETA: I don't feel a need to see pictures from the OP. The VP - who has input into her advancement/continued employment - perceived it as inappropriate, and OP herself was a little shaky on the style, so a change likely is in order.

This is why I said we are being forced in a mold that no other race has to fit into. I completely understand the hypocrisy of corporate America. I watched my mom play the "game" for years. I just find it disgusting.

 

[BostonMaria]

OP I'm sorry this happened to you. I guess my only advice is search online for office appropriate styles and try to recreate.

I personally think that buns with my hair sleeked down with gel looks elegant, plus it's so easy to do. If you are pressed for time it's the quickest way to do your hair in the morning. I wish you luck.

 

[Truth]

^^^^^ omg .....

Honestly i scrolled thru for pics... The whole drama of being expressive in the work place.. Folks need to gt over it.. at the end of the day..we gotta pay bills,eat and take care of family..so the name of the game is get in where you fit in.... You can still be expressive with braid outs big hair..so forth n so on..but you gotta know ya settings..ya job make up..Braids outs are great.. someone got an issue with it.. do a cute up do or pin it so you're hair isn't so wild sleek it and make it look professional. It's not so hard..go to yt and look up braid out styles... if all he's saying is TONE IT DOWN...not cut it off.. go bald..have patches missing...or some other unreasonable thing... then tone it down a bit...at the end of the day.. you gotta eat..

 

[ST_belle]

I could see this as a problem if it was a pattern of the OP's to have hair deemed inappropriate by the VP. Does he see OP every day? Does he express the opinion of the entire company or just himself? Was it just bad luck that OP happened to try something different on that particular day and the VP saw her. He was nice enough to just pull her aside and not call her out and embarrass her in front others. We may not like to have to conform to company dress code, but if you can't compromise than maybe you need a new profession where you can express yourself more naturally if that is what makes you happy. Stick to your acceptable hair style and maybe on dress down days you can try something a bit different when it wouldn't be such an issue - by different, however, it still shouldn't look like SHM. Some style that you feel comfortable going out in public with but not far beyond the bounds of what the company would consider tasteful. Does that make sense? It isn't always pleasant, but sometimes we just have to punt and hope for good field position.

 

[soulie]

This is why I said we are being forced in a mold that no other race has to fit into. I completely understand the hypocrisy of corporate America. I watched my mom play the "game" for years. I just find it disgusting.

A little confused here... you quoted my post but you are saying "we" (as a race) are being forced into a mold. My post wasn't saying anything was racist in nature -- I deliberately gave an example (the law firm) that applied to an entire gender. I have also been present when a receptionist at a different law firm was told that she needed to wear her makeup more professionally; she was white. When you are talking with a man in your office, check out his earlobes - frequently they will be pierced, but you will NEVER see an earring in that ear during work hours or at an office function. People are also told to dress so that tattoos are covered - doesn't matter if it's praying hands or a swastika -- they are NOT to be seen.

I'm not saying this is your case, DD, but there are some folk who look for a racial spin on everything that is said or done. That isn't always the case; and frequently the issue would be the same if it was someone male or female, blakc, white or Asian.

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

This is why I said we are being forced in a mold that no other race has to fit into. I completely understand the hypocrisy of corporate America. I watched my mom play the "game" for years. I just find it disgusting.

But it's not a race thing. It's universal...everyone has to look presentable for whatever environment they work in. The definition of presentable varies according to the environment, but everyone who works there has to fit that specific mold. White people, black people, asian people, indian people, hispanic people, blue people, orange people, man, woman...everyone. If you are in an environment where the desired image is pulled together and professional, nobody of any race is going to be allowed to walk around looking a mess.

I mean, even dogs have a dress code. When you watch a dog show, do you ever see any dogs with messy or dirty hair? No you don't, because their handlers groom them within an inch of their lives. Why? Because you cannot show up expecting to win anything (be it a blue ribbon or a higher position in a company) without looking correct. That's the bottom line, and no one is exempt.

I'm just tired of everyone blaming everything on them being black. It's not always about that. OP was not approached because she was black, she was approached because her hair looked crazy. And it did not look crazy because she is black, it looked crazy because she accidentally styled it that way.

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

So whites who work in corporate America can roll up in the office rocking the bed head and its all good but black people have to be "polished" and professional looking at all times??



Show me an aspiring white exec or even an exec himself with greased up, tossled, unkept dread locks. Wait ya can't! They don't exist.

Everything ain't about black and white. Its about looking the part in the corporate world and unkept, untidy, dirty, ratty, and the general bed head look ain't where its at weather you're black or white.

 

[fletches]

I can NEVER belong to corporate America....

Stay with that resolve. Corporate America isn't always where it's at. You're basically at their whim so if they say you need to wear your hair a certain way, then you have the play the game.

And unless you like playing games on a daily or being told how to dress or do your hair, then stay far far away

 

[Ms. Martina]

I'm still trying to find out why everyone keeps comparing natural hair to unkept hair. I wasn't aware that so many people considered their own hair to be dirty looking, unkept, and comparable to "bead head." Does anyone else see that natural afros can be neat/clean and etc. That is not the same as just rolling out of bed and going to work. I can tell when someone has taken the time to style/comb their natural hair...even if it is big. And in response to the poster who asked if people would go to a natural lawyer or a natural doctor. Wow...really??? I would never discriminate based on whether or not someone is rocking a natural fro. Reading a lot of these comments makes me sad...People need to think deeper about why they feel natural hair is soooo unprofessional. I mean, REALLYYY think about why you feel this way.


I'm 4.5 months post right now, and these comments are not very encouraging. Especially for someone who works broadcast journalism. Thankfully, there are journalists out there like Tonya Mosley, Linda Jones, Melba Tolliver, Tanika Ray, Vimbaye Kajese and etc. who are making natural hair more acceptable in my field. I guess I will just look to people like them for positive encouragement while I transition.

 

[LushLox]

It's a very bleak picture, my environment isn't quite so formal, but I still choose to 'dress for success' every day as it's so important and judgements will be made on you on the back of your appearance. It's a buyers market at the moment and it's awash with people who will be only to happy to step into your shoes and conform to any perceived unfair standards.

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

I'm still trying to find out why everyone keeps comparing natural hair to unkept hair. I wasn't aware that so many people considered their own hair to be dirty looking, unkept, and comparable to "bead head." Does anyone else see that natural afros can be neat/clean and etc. That is not the same as just rolling out of bed and going to work. I can tell when someone has taken the time to style/comb their natural hair...even if it is big. And in response to the poster who asked if people would go to a natural lawyer or a natural doctor. Wow...really??? I would never discriminate based on whether or not someone is rocking a natural fro. Reading a lot of these comments makes me sad...People need to think deeper about why they feel natural hair is soooo unprofessional. I mean, REALLYYY think about why you feel this way.


I'm 4.5 months post right now, and these comments are not very encouraging. Especially for someone who works broadcast journalism. Thankfully, there are journalists out there like Tonya Mosley, Linda Jones, Melba Tolliver, Tanika Ray, Vimbaye Kajese and etc. who are making natural hair more acceptable in my field. I guess I will just look to people like them for positive encouragement while I transition.

I'm starting to think you aren't really reading the words that the posters are writing. Either that or maybe I'm not reading. The OP said herself that her hair looked a little CRAZY AND she's not even natural! And that question literally said "looked like they stuck their finger in a wall outlet....or with bedhead" not a doctor or lawyer who is natural :-\ maybe i'm missing something.

 

[Ms. Martina]

Okay so I'm new here but I saw this and really felt the nned to say something. I am a college student that works in the Graduate Studies department of the Business Building of my school. While I must say that nothing special is ever done to my hair it is neat. But at the job fairs we host companies from big and I mean big companies such as Target, Walmart, Publix, as well as the behind the scenes people are present and they look for miniscule reasons to not hire someone. I have seen many a resumes be tossed either in the trash or in the no pile so please believe it does happen. However do not get me wrong. It is not targeted at AA. Caucasions cant roll out of their beds and shake their heads and keep it going. My Caucasion manager does in no way shape or form discriminate so hair can not really be associated with one race. But think about it you wouldnt want a lawyer that looked like they stuck their finger in a wall outlet or a gyno that has bed head would you?

@LeFemmeNaturelle That's the doctor/layer comment, so I am pretty sure I have read the thread. I'm guessing you missed that one. As I have stated before...if the OP's hair was outrageously huge or something and undone, then I can understand. However, it it was just simply a kinky afro look, then I can not condone this behavior. And we all know that natural hair is still considered "unprofessional" and there are comments cosigning this view.

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

@LeFemmeNaturelle That's the doctor/layer comment, so I am pretty sure I have read the thread. I'm guessing you missed that one. As I have stated before...if the OP's hair was outrageously huge or something and undone, then I can understand. However, it it was just simply a kinky afro look, then I can not condone this behavior. And we all know that natural hair is still considered "unprofessional" and there are comments cosigning this view.

But for some reason you translated that to mean "natural" like the only thing natural hair does is look like the person was electrocuted or just rolled out of bed. We don't even know what the OPs hair looked like. For all we know, it could have looked a hot mess and a braidout gone wrong (no offense) and has nothing to do with her having natural hair (which she does not have).

 

[LittleLuxe]

@LeFemmeNaturelle That's the doctor/layer comment, so I am pretty sure I have read the thread. I'm guessing you missed that one. As I have stated before...if the OP's hair was outrageously huge or something and undone, then I can understand. However, it it was just simply a kinky afro look, then I can not condone this behavior. And we all know that natural hair is still considered "unprofessional" and there are comments cosigning this view.

I'm not sure I understand. The poster's comment had nothing to do with a natural doctor or lawyer, she said a doctor or lawyer who had bed head or who looked like they stuck their finger in a light socket. You changed that to her asking if someone would go to a natural doctor or lawyer and being stunned.

...So where exactly did the racism come in between her comment and your rephrasing? If she had said natural doctor or lawyer I'd be right there with you...but she didn't.

 

[FebeeSigns]

I'm sorry that happened to you. But I would eat his words with a grain of salt. Unless you plan to get fired for the hair "problem" or are being denied what you so rightly deserve such as a promotion, I wouldn't suggest you changing how you do you.

 

[LittleLuxe]

This is why I said we are being forced in a mold that no other race has to fit into. I completely understand the hypocrisy of corporate America. I watched my mom play the "game" for years. I just find it disgusting.

No other race? Well let's see, I've had white friends who I've seen have to dye their hair to remove some rather noticeable streaks. Who've had to remove earrings so that only one was in each ear. Who've had to change their mode of dress to something more professional. I've had Indian friends who had to remove her more traditional jewelry including nose piercing and one who had to wear her hair in a bun because even while braided her hair hangs down to her waist. I've seen white male friends have to get new haircuts because their hair while looking perfectly fine for daily life just didn't fit the corporate image and thus it was hindered their career.

It's not like other races are skipping into work effortlessly while we suffer. Everyone who wants a job in a certain field has to adapt. I have a white friend with a cute small tattoo on her wrist which she's considered getting removed because every time she goes to work it HAS to be covered up.

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

@LeFemmeNaturelle That's the doctor/layer comment, so I am pretty sure I have read the thread. I'm guessing you missed that one. As I have stated before...if the OP's hair was outrageously huge or something and undone, then I can understand. However, it it was just simply a kinky afro look, then I can not condone this behavior. And we all know that natural hair is still considered "unprofessional" and there are comments cosigning this view.

That's exactly what she's talking about...the comment says that the the doctor or lawyer in question looks like she "stuck her finger in an electrical socket". You assumed that this meant that the person was natural and made your comment.
But the poster never actually said that the professional in question was natural. All she said was that the person's hair looked like she had been electrocuted. You can have relaxed or texturized hair and still look like you stuck your finger in an electrical socket. So, yeah...I agree that you aren't really reading and are just kind of jumping to conclusions based on what you want to talk about.
Which is clearly natural hair being worn out in the workplace.
And that's all well and good, but it doesn't apply here, because OP's hair is not natural. I know that she said that it looked natural, but in my experience, when people with chemically processed hair try to make it look like a "natural" afro...well, it doesn't look as "natural" as they think it does.

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

No other race? Well let's see, I've had white friends who I've seen have to dye their hair to remove some rather noticeable streaks. Who've had to remove earrings so that only one was in each ear. Who've had to change their mode of dress to something more professional. I've had Indian friends who had to remove her more traditional jewelry including nose piercing and one who had to wear her hair in a bun because even while braided her hair hangs down to her waist. I've seen white male friends have to get new haircuts because their hair while looking perfectly fine for daily life just didn't fit the corporate image and thus it was hindered their career.

It's not like other races are skipping into work effortlessly while we suffer. Everyone who wants a job in a certain field has to adapt. I have a white friend with a cute small tattoo on her wrist which she's considered getting removed because every time she goes to work it HAS to be covered up.

OT: The assistant director of one of the programs I was in is a nurse practitioner and one day I saw her walking around with this big huge manly looking tattoo on her arm....and idk but I never looked at her the same. I try not to judge....but sometimes I just can't help it. It all goes back to the image that you are supposed to present for your profession. And that tattoo was NOT professional.

 

[Ms. Martina]

I don't really feel like I am jumping to conclusions. And I feel like people are missing my point completely. But oh well, I'm not going to discuss the matter any further.

 

[davisbr88]

I really don't understand why people keep saying this is something only black women are subject to. There have been multiple examples given of how these same rules apply to EVERYONE, including men. So why is that point still being brought up?

 

[CocoBunny]

OP, I do think he was trying to keep your best interests at heart.
But to Chocolatelove's friend with the makeup situation, if that were me I would be highly offended and give him a piece of my mind in front of everyone. And then the next day I would show up to work wearing so much makeup it was almost scary. I do not wear makeup to work because I take good care of my skin and do not need it. Did your friend's supervisor tell her to wear a push up bra as well? Or perhaps he said she should consider thongs because then there won't be VPL. In summary hair and general appearance are very touchy issues for everyone and there is a very thin line regarding it. I know for my company HR would be all over ANY of these issues without hesitation and I work for a large conservative corporate environment.

You look good with out make up some folks don't. There are those (myself included) that need a touch of make up to have more polished and even look. I think anytime someone comes to you privately and gives you a heads up, it's worth pondering. Why be insulted either do it or don't, why would you feel the need or think it was appropriate to tell someone off publicly and then follow up by making a scene.

YMMV

 

[LittleLuxe]

Btw, KnaughtyKurls, I just wanted to say you look very pretty in your pic

 

[CocoBunny]

I really don't understand why people keep saying this is something only black women are subject to. There have been multiple examples given of how these same rules apply to EVERYONE, including men. So why is that point still being brought up?

Because with some folks it will ALWAYS be about race. They can't help it. They enjoy the thought and wallow in the joy of real or imagined victimization.

Until I joined this board I honestly had no idea that the entire world hated me and my hair was likely the source of the worlds hatred and that others (take your pick of who the others are) were plotting and scheming to tear me down. Geeze so much attention focused on little old me.

YMMV

 

[Fab_Nikki]

No pics posted but even from the OP own admission the style might've been a bit IFFY. Fix ya hair and go climb that ladder LOL

I work in Corporate America and I am always conscious of my hairstyles. Not because anyone has said "Nikki, I don't feel this is appropriate for work", but because I have my own views on what I feel is conducive in my professional/business setting.