DH'S DUMB COMMENT (VENT)

[Incredible1ne]

I'm sorry your husband did that. I've learned to keep what I do and think about my hair to myself and just let the growth and health speak for itself.

 

[Cayenne0622]

Makes me really sad that he said those things to you. If he had these thoughts about you and felt like your esteem was low then he should have asked you about what you were doing and why rather than assuming that you don't find your self attractive and that you are obsessed and have low self-esteem. Its one thing if he believes you are beautiful as you are but its another if he is trying to put down your efforts just because he hasn't taken the time to understand where you are coming from.

Be patient with him and let him know that he hurt you with those comments. Tell believe that natural 4a hair is beautiful and you want long natural hair. Its not such a bad thing but some people's minds are conditioned to western societies view of beauty and that includes straight hair.

 

[Supergirl]

Hi ladies, I had to come here to get some support from you since ya'll understand this hair journey. Today I took my husband out to lunch and he asked me what I was going to do with my quarterly bonus, and I told him I was going to do some Christmas shopping, but my gift to myself would be a custom lace wig. Why did I tell him that? He went on this whole tangent about how he's been worried about my growing hair obsession for the past few months and that I should not let my self esteem drop so low that I feel like I have to wear fake hair in order to be beautiful! I was like

I proceeded to tell him that my hair goals have nothing to do with low self esteem, and it is not an obsession, rather enlightenment about how to care for my hair to get it to grow. He then asked me how can I call this "thing" hair care since I never even keep my hair "done" anymore. This is two days after our "debate" about my consideration to go natural. First he asked me what my hair would look like "natural" and I mentioned the name of a church member who has beautiful, natural 4a hair, and he said her hair "very unattractive," and that the only time her hair looked good was during her wedding this summer when she got it pressed. He then said that he just thinks I would look better relaxed and he will be glad when I get over this hair thing.

Needless to say...lunch was cut short today. I was angry, but more hurt. I support him on everything he does, and I keep getting needless pushback from him. I finally decided today to keep my hair goals between LHCF members. I know you guys are in my corner .

I wonder what he is going to say in a couple of years when my hair is down my back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yep, sometimes that's what we have to do. We have our own little world here and very few people outside of it can appreciate it and understand it as we do. But, he'll be the first one whose tongue is wagging as your hair becomes healthier and healthier and longer and longer...