My Mommy is mean...

[brittanynic16]

I talked to my mother this weekend and she asked me about my transition. I told her that I was planning to do the big chop at the end of April and she switch on me so fast.

I have never heard her talk to me the way that she she was.

She asked me to wait until she died before I did it. I was like WTF! She kept begging me not to cut my hair. She even asked me to try on a short wig similar to what my cut will look like. I thought it was a good idea so I agreed to that. Then she told me my head was too large to be short and then she told me I had the wrong head shape. Sh*t, you would have thought that I was going to cut all her hair off. I have been preparing myself for the chop so I am not sweating it so hard but she was acting like I was about to chop my head off. She usually can talk me in or out of things and she was really trying hard.

But, this is for me. But, in so many words she told me I would be ugly.

I would usually cry if she had said this to me before but I was calm was not upset.

But, dang Ma why you got to make me feel like doo doo.

What do you'll think? Will I look okay with the short do, honestly?

 

[nekee]

I can't say I feel your pain but I think if it is your choice you should stick to it. I guess it hurts alot hearing that from your mother, the one person you would expect to support your opinion, but maybe she has other reasons behind what she said.

Do your chop and show her you could look hott still

 

[LABETT]

Your mother is so used to you with long hair and it is hard for her to see you with short hair.
Hair is Hair and tell her you will be the same person with
long or short hair.
I suggest you do what is best for you and what makes you happy.

 

[Nay]

Wow, what a reaction!! Haven't you ever worn your hair up or in some style where your mom has seen that you are purty no matter what style you are sportin'?

Talk about being attached to your hair. Your mom is really overreacting on you. Like the other ladies said, is your hair. Do what will make YOU happy.

 

[KinksnCurlz]

I agree...and i just came from viewing your album and your face shape is FINE for a short (pixie) haircut

and im not just saying that 2 b nice either.
BTW, ur hair is so thick and beautiful.

 

[ms_kenesha]

I told my mom once what I was going to do before I chopped and got a horrible reaction. I never talked to her about it again, I cut my hair and she saw it when she came to visit me which was 2 or 3 wks. later. She thinks I'm a little crazy for cutting, but is not as negative as she was about it.

Just do it and surround yourself with people who support and encourage your decision. Your mom is just scared of the unknown.

 

[miss_brown]

[ QUOTE ]
ms_kenesha said:
Your mom is just scared of the unknown.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ditto. She'll be alright.

Like CH said, you have a cute face and will look great with short hair. Eventually, your mom will come around

 

[brittanynic16]

Thanks ladies, you all are always so encouraging. I know what I want to do and what she says hurts but that is not going to make me change my decision. I think I will follow your led kenesha and not talk about it with her anyomre. But, I did tell her that she does not have to like my hair because it was mine. I am not worried about her because I know I would be cute bald. Thanks for the kind words. You'll always make me feel better.
CaramelHonee, thanks! I think my head it fine too.

 

[brittanynic16]

Miss_brown thank you. She is for the shock of her life. Oh well, my bf didn't have a problem with it and says I will look beautiful no matter what. Thank goodness for him.

 

[deeplyrooted]

brittany,

from the sounds of it, you're gonna be just fine. don't let this momentary set back detour you from your goal. you'll look marvelous with a short napptural 'do. your head won't be 'too big,' it's just perfect.

keep up your spirits, and hang onto that wonderfully supportive boyfriend ! ! !

 

[Chimma]

Just look at all the people in your "i want her hair" folder. I find them gorgeous, you find them gorgeous! Many of them have your hair type. That's all that matters - that you know in the long run, you will be happier with your decision. You are the one who has to live with yourself so live with something that you will be happy with.

It's sad that your mother is so mean though. Sometimes, along your journey as you are still learning what products work and waiting for your hair to grow out of endless "in between" phases, you will want to turn to someone for encouragement and she won't be there.

But at least you've got God - who says that you were made in his image right from the start and that you are beautiful without chemicals, you've got yourself and your confidence in your own beauty, you've got your boyfriend, and you've got us.

 

[Isis]

I think our mothers try to live through us sometimes. So cutting your hair may be like cutting her hair, in her eyes. I always believe in doing what we want to do with our bodies rather than what someone else wants us to do. They have their own lives to live.

 

[brittanynic16]

[ QUOTE ]
Chimma said:
Just look at all the people in your "i want her hair" folder. I find them gorgeous, you find them gorgeous! Many of them have your hair type. That's all that matters - that you know in the long run, you will be happier with your decision. You are the one who has to live with yourself so live with something that you will be happy with.

It's sad that your mother is so mean though. Sometimes, along your journey as you are still learning what products work and waiting for your hair to grow out of endless "in between" phases, you will want to turn to someone for encouragement and she won't be there.

But at least you've got God - who says that you were made in his image right from the start and that you are beautiful without chemicals, you've got yourself and your confidence in your own beauty, you've got your boyfriend, and you've got us.

[/ QUOTE ]

That is the sweetest thing that I have heard in a long time. Thank you so much. Your right I do have you guys and I am very happy to be her. Yep, I do have the Lord and I am thankful for it. I can't wait to be me. Thanks you all!

 

[inthepink]

I think mothers are just like this. My mom hates for me to even get a trim. That's just they way they are, I guess. Maybe they somehow feel an attachment to the hair even though it's not theirs. In the end, you have to do what's best for you though.

 

[felicia]

in my opinion, you are such a pretty girl, anything will look good on you!

 

[brittanynic16]

[ QUOTE ]
felicia said:
in my opinion, you are such a pretty girl, anything will look good on you!

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh! You have me blushing! Thank you so much. I wish my nother would say that. But, that is why I come here because you ladies understand.

 

[alliyah4eva203]

do what feels right for you

 

[Nonie]

Brittanynic, I bet once you get your BC and show your mom how well you can wear your hair, how well you know to care for it, and how happy you are, she will respond with the positive attitude you radiate. And even if she doesn't at first, continue to hold your head up high and to keep your spirits up. Someone else will see that sunshine.... Someone else who may just happen to point it out to her. Or she may just see how well the world embraces you (thanks to your sporting a "Mercedes"* attitude). And then she too won't be able to help herself. You'll be surprised how easily swayed people can be by the masses.

* "Mercedes" (adj) = cute, warm, goodnatured, lively, fun, pleasant...simply adorable!

 

[SoniT]

I remember when my mother cut her hair into a short natural and my grandmother had something to say about it. My mother put her in her place with the quickness. She told my grandma that she's not the one who has to take care of her hair so she didn't care what my grandmother had to say.

 

[ChocoKitty]

[ QUOTE ]
brittanynic16 said:
[ QUOTE ]
felicia said:
in my opinion, you are such a pretty girl, anything will look good on you!

[/ QUOTE ]
ITA

 

[Guest]

Mother's usually know best... (sometimes)

They will be honest with you when no one else will and that's why we get a bum rap, but that wig thing is EXCELLENT advice, see if you like yourself in the wig, wear it for a week see what others think. Most of all, evaulate WHY you want to big chop and be natural.

Its ok if you always wanted to, but if it's cause everyone here is doing it and you think it's the "In Thing", that is the wrong reason.

But people will get used to your new look eventually. But def do the wig and see how you FEEL you look. These people on this board are not gonna be there for you IRL. Something to think about - coming from a mom.....

 

[azul11]

I'm slow but what is BC mean? Does that mean big chop? I believe choosing to go natural is a personal decision that may not be encouraged by people who are used to seeing you differently. I think you have to do what works best for you and your mother will have to understand it. I agree with felicia that you are a beautiful girl and you will look gorgeous with a twa.

God bless you all.

 

[KinksnCurlz]

Yes, big chop

 

[TinyT]

Hey,

You just have to be sure of yourself and know who you are. Do what makes you happy. Also know that if you absolutley hate it, your hair will grow back. I have only been natural 1 yr and 2 months, and Already i have grown from .5-1 inches, to past shoulder length when stretched. Of course people think my hair is short, but when you stretch it, it is longer than most of my friends b/c is shrinks u to the nape. N-e way, be strong and stay focused, b/c even when you first chop your mom may not like it. My mom called me buck-wheat when I first chopped. It hurt my feelings, but now she can't say enough about how pretty, thick, and long my hair is. I hope you feel better about everything, and know you have support.

Tracy

 

[ChoclatePrincess]

I think your mother was a little harsh!

I think you are a cute girl. How short are you planning to cut it? I can't really tell the shape of your head from all the side shots you have but do you feel your face and your head shape will work for a short hair cut? I agree with your mom and MindyMouse, buy a wig and see how it looks. Everything isn't for everybody.

 

[ms_kenesha]

[ QUOTE ]
ChoclatePrincess said:
I think your mother was a little harsh!

I think you are a cute girl. How short are you planning to cut it? I can't really tell the shape of your head from all the side shots you have but do you feel your face and your head shape will work for a short hair cut? I agree with your mom and MindyMouse, buy a wig and see how it looks. Everything isn't for everybody.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree that every style is not for everyone, but everyone's natural hair texture is for them (because hey it's what God gave you). I do not think your head is "too big" for a short hairstyle and I think you will look really cute Brit, just think about all those albums you've seen on NP all head shapes and I haven't seen one person who's BC looked "bad".

Keep your head up

Oh, and try to come to a DC area meeting, their's another member from HU that came to our last one. I'd love to meet you in person

 

[babyblue]

mother doesnt always know best. i mean if i listened to everything my mother said i would still be washing my hair once a month, and globbing my scalp with grease once a week never trimming, and tearing my hair out with a small tooth comb. You have to take care of your hair not her. I say go ahead chop and continue with your journey. twa will look very nice on you, besides the twa doesnt stay teenie forever. it will all grow back and it will be so healthy. sometimes the long transition isnt the best thing cause u end up spending so much time trying to battle the 2 textures that it ends up taking time away from learning to care for and appreciate your own natural texture.

 

[Guest]

Chocolate Princess... Your name fits you to a tee

OT I know, but I just saw your album, and I'd kill to have that "98 Spiral Set"

Oh, I also pinched your cheeks in the baby pic, could'nt resist.

 

[ChoclatePrincess]

Thanks girlie! That's so sweet!

 

[Erica78]

I agree with what the other ladies said brittany...you are pretty...the bc will look great on you.

It will take some time for your mom to get used to it ...but i'm sure she will come around eventually!