My fiancé’s mom told me not to marry her son

[Browndilocks]

I had a dude's mom tell me something wasn't right with her son. She was NOT lying. It's crazy though how many mothers will look you dead in the face and smile knowing their son is no good, but still want you to be with him.

 

[BrownBetty]

I had a dude's mom tell me something wasn't right with her son. She was NOT lying. It's crazy though how many mothers will look you dead in the face and smile knowing their son is no good, but still want you to be with him.

Story time:
An old coworker meets a guy. She talks about him all the time. He had roommates, which isn't unheard of, we lived in a high cost of living city. Their dates were always early, like senior's special early and they never really did much. She couldn't go to his house because of his roommates. they couldn't go to hers because she was still living at home. So they screwed in her car.

The weekend comes where she goes to meet his mom, mom lived in the same city. Mom got my coworker alone, told her to run in the opposite direction. Her son shouldn't be in a relationship because he had too much going on. Oh the coworker finds out he has a kid from the mom too.

Coworker tells me, says the mom was minding his business and she was hating. Hmmm... a month later she finds out the truth: He lives in a halfway house and their dates were early because he had a curfew. He wasn't working. He was on crack. He went to jail for stealing for his crack habit. He was on crack! His kid's mom had custody because he was abusive. He was on crack.

I am sitting mouth open at lunch. I asked so how did he take it when you broke up with him? You know cause crack? This bih said she was going to love him through it. I left it and her alone then.

Last I heard, she had a kid for him, cashed in her retirement early, moved with him down south to live in a trailer. He then left her broke with a kid.

 

[mochalocks]

RUN

this happen to someone I know... now she’s regretting marrying him.

 

[Maracujá]

Story time:
An old coworker meets a guy. She talks about him all the time. He had roommates, which isn't unheard of, we lived in a high cost of living city. Their dates were always early, like senior's special early and they never really did much. She couldn't go to his house because of his roommates. they couldn't go to hers because she was still living at home. So they screwed in her car.

The weekend comes where she goes to meet his mom, mom lived in the same city. Mom got my coworker alone, told her to run in the opposite direction. Her son shouldn't be in a relationship because he had too much going on. Oh the coworker finds out he has a kid from the mom too.

Coworker tells me, says the mom was minding his business and she was hating. Hmmm... a month later she finds out the truth: He lives in a halfway house and their dates were early because he had a curfew. He wasn't working. He was on crack. He went to jail for stealing for his crack habit. He was on crack! His kid's mom had custody because he was abusive. He was on crack.

I am sitting mouth open at lunch. I asked so how did he take it when you broke up with him? You know cause crack? This bih said she was going to love him through it. I left it and her alone then.

Last I heard, she had a kid for him, cashed in her retirement early, moved with him down south to live in a trailer. He then left her broke with a kid.

Not surprised. For all of the feminism and pseudo empowerment of women that the Western world likes to propagate, most women out here are desperate for a relationship and do NOT feel comfortable at all being/remaining single .

 

[awhyley]

Thanks for all of your input ladies. Here’s the rest of the story. This happened decades ago btw. She ignored the mom and married him anyway. Didn’t do her due diligence because she was blinded by love she said. They had over 3 blissful years. One dad her dad called her but she was in the shower so hubby answered. She yelled hello to her dad from the background while hubby kept talking to her dad. She got out, then out of nowhere, hubby pulls out a gun and shot her and left her for dead. Her dad heard cuz he still on the phone and called 911.

Dang, I didn't expect that. Considering that she was shot point blank, she's lucky to be alive.

I don't doubt that this is the account you received but there's a whole lot missing from this story.

Agreed. I'm confused as to why she can't have kids.

 

[caribeandiva]

Agreed. I'm confused as to why she can't have kids.

He shot her in the stomach. There’s still left fragments in there.

 

[BrownBetty]

Not surprised. For all of the feminism and pseudo empowerment of women that the Western world likes to propagate, most women out here are desperate for a relationship and do NOT feel comfortable at all being/remaining single .

Feminism and women empowerment aside, which are things I believe in BTW... BW need to value themselves outside of a partner.

Also, one thing we need is to willingly embrace therapy. I know a lot of us are going now but I wish more would. We have to deal with past trauma because it impacts your present and future.

My old coworker had abandonment issues, she was abused, she had low self esteem... on and on. I am ~5 years younger than her. Before I stopped being friendly with her I told her she needed to talk to someone because crack use should be a deal breaker, among other things.

 

[caribeandiva]

told her she needed to talk to someone because crack use should be a deal breaker, among other things.

She’s ok dating people who use crack?! Say what now?

 

[Saludable84]

Feminism and women empowerment aside, which are things I believe in BTW... BW need to value themselves outside of a partner.

Also, one thing we need is to willingly embrace therapy. I know a lot of us are going now but I wish more would. We have to deal with past trauma because it impacts your present and future.

My old coworker had abandonment issues, she was abused, she had low self esteem... on and on. I am ~5 years younger than her. Before I stopped being friendly with her I told her she needed to talk to someone because crack use should be a deal breaker, among other things.

Crack? Not even a good drug, but crack? Let me go look at some puppies.

 

[BrownBetty]

@caribeandiva
@Saludable84

Crack, crack, crack... refer to my story time post.

 

[Theresamonet]

@BrownBetty The amount of times you said “he was on crack” in that story sent me.

 

[Mai Tai]

@BrownBetty The amount of times you said “he was on crack” in that story sent me.

ME TOO!

 

[caribeandiva]

Story time:

How did I miss this post?!

 

[caribeandiva]

@caribeandiva
@Saludable84

Crack, crack, crack... refer to my story time post.

Thanks for the laughs! Still can’t believe this was real life... some women are beyond desperate and dumb. After a certain age, you should know better.

 

[felic1]

I liked this guy when i was younger. I was infatuated. My goals were higher than his. His mother said I know you love him but there is no future in this relationship. She had been elected mayor of her city. The relationship went down the drain. No bullet for me there.

 

[Lylddlebit]

*************poof*************

 

[caribeandiva]

@Lylddlebit great story! Wow.. your MIL and BIL are a trip. Do you think he asked his mom to intervene on his behalf? I love what you said about knowing yourself well. It really does cut through a lot of phony people.

 

[Lylddlebit]

********poof**********

 

[MizAvalon]

I had a dude's mom tell me something wasn't right with her son. She was NOT lying. It's crazy though how many mothers will look you dead in the face and smile knowing their son is no good, but still want you to be with him.

Like a previous poster mentioned, they want to offload their son on you so they don't have to be bothered with taking care of him.

 

[kimpaur]

@Lylddlebit
That story is CRAZY

What kind of mother would hurt one son to "help" the other?
That is insane

 

[Saludable84]

Thanks for the laughs! Still can’t believe this was real life... some women are beyond desperate and dumb. After a certain age, you should know better.

That’s what we think but when desperation sets in, common sense takes a back seat. Think about how many red flags and dealbreakers were there before crack came in the picture.

 

[BrownBetty]

That’s what we think but when desperation sets in, common sense takes a back seat. Think about how many red flags and dealbreakers were there before crack came in the picture.

Agreed... This is where therapy, self awareness, standards come into play. You know you deserve more than just a man. I can't tell you the amount of times I've heard "... at least I'm not single.", I would laugh and smh because I will take single everyday than to put up with a lot of the mess I have observed.

 

[caribeandiva]

... I would laugh and smh because I will take single everyday than to put up with a lot of the mess I have observed.

So many struggle relationships out there. But hey, at least they’re not single.

 

[ChasingBliss]

At this stage in my mental peace and self priority game, I'd be out. I dont have it in me do anything else. I dont want anyone or anything disturbing my peace...and I have cut off quite a few people already to preserve that. The mere fact that she'd say something like that says there is trouble looming somewhere. Either people dont want me with him, thus will make my life hell, or he really is what mommy says he is ...and still a possible life of hell. Life is too short for the bs. And if you have lived more years that you have left...well.. Peace is Priority.

 

[caribeandiva]

@Lylddlebit
That story is CRAZY

What kind of mother would hurt one son to "help" the other?
That is insane

Right?!

 

[awhyley]

@Lylddlebit
That story is CRAZY

What kind of mother would hurt one son to "help" the other?
That is insane

Nah, the "favorite" son has more money, so he probably spoils the mother more, which is why she leans more towards him.

 

[Lylddlebit]

*********poof***********

 

[Lita]

Sometimes we as human beings ignore the red flags,I’m quite sure she had plenty of notices to flee but chose not to & yes,if you have any type of issues that has never been addressed it will definitely pop up in other areas of your life in a negative manner..

*Sorry that happened to her

 

[larry3344]

Thanks for all of your input ladies. Here’s the rest of the story. This happened decades ago btw. She ignored the mom and married him anyway. Didn’t do her due diligence because she was blinded by love she said. They had over 3 blissful years. One dad her dad called her but she was in the shower so hubby answered. She yelled hello to her dad from the background while hubby kept talking to her dad. She got out, then out of nowhere, hubby pulls out a gun and shot her and left her for dead. Her dad heard cuz he still on the phone and called 911.

She was in a coma for a year. Cant have kids anymore. He took all her money (hundreds of thousands of dollars) and fled the country. Till this day she doesn’t know why he did that. Didn’t even know he owned a gun. Found out he was cheating on her. He’s still at large and yes they’re black folks. She was sexually abused as a child and never really dealt with it. Had other bad relationships too.

Wow

 

[Ganjababy]

The mother must have known she had birthed a Kevin, but he hid it well from his wife.